Our politicians in the ruling party have
failed us. And God will address their
matter. But before that divine
judgment must come the judgment of
the people. It is your responsibility as
opposition politician to deliver this well-
deserved judgment on behalf of the
good and oppressed people of this
country.
Your status as opposition politician is
attained upon the loss of an election or
political post whether or not that post
was secured through the ruling party. It
is evil for anyone to point to your past
and say that you once enjoyed the
largesse of the ruling party. What
matters is that God has, through your
political loss, shown you the light and
led you to the honorable path of
opposition. Loss of, or failure to secure
political office does not an opposition
politician make. What completes you as
an opposition politician who has lost
out in politics is the righteous anger
against all the unholy things going on
in the government you cannot be a
part of. There are some who lose out
and take the shameful path of hanging
around the corridors of power, placing
full-page, full-color pro government ads
in the papers, congratulating every
politician in power, commiserating with
serving politicians whose grandmothers
have died. Some even go as far digging
up some dead relative of someone in
power to do a 10 year remembrance
ad. God forbid that you disgrace
yourself like this for political power.
First thing to do is to change political
party. You cannot remain in the ruling
party and be successful as an
opposition politician. Our ruling party
does not take kindly to dissidents. They
destroy all who try. Look at that small
man in the house of representatives
who was trying to be an opposition
leader and how they used bribe money
to smear and truncate his hustle. So
you must decamp. It may be in a
colorful well attended ceremony where
the opposition leaders will welcome you
and your supporters in front of cameras
or through a press release. It doesn’t
matter. What matters is that people
know you now have nothing to do with
the evil big party.
As opposition politician, you need a
platform. You must remain in the
consciousness of the people especially
now that losing elections has led you to
the glorious and honorable path of
opposition. Try Twitter. People don’t
realize how powerful it is. You can from
the comfort of your room rouse
thousands of followers to the holy task
of insulting the government. Otherwise,
with some ‘brown envelopes’ you can
have journalists who will always run
your story and give you interviews. If
you use Twitter you need a lot of
followers. Followers are the key to your
success. It is they who will make sure
your thoughts get retweeted to the
ends of the earth. How do you get
followers? I have only about a
thousand, so Malam Nasir El Rufai, a
‘certified ruffler of feathers’ who has
over a hundred thousand followers is in
a better position to give advice on how
to grow your Twitter fan base. Don’t
say I sent you.
Your job as opposition politician is not
difficult. Our country is run like a circus-
a lot of what goes on beggars belief.
Where else for example will two
different security agencies arrest two
different sets of suspects who all
‘confess’ to the same crime. Or a
government official who will brazenly
budget 1.2million for a facebook
account? All you need to do is buy
newspapers and follow news reports on
Facebook and Twitter. If it is not the
President asking us to pray about
problems that he needs to solve
himself, it is him allocating one billion
to the Villa for food. Just tweet it and
your thousands of followers will retweet
it, adding the necessary insult to
injury.
Attack those who disagree with you.
Because the opposition should be, like
the customer, always right. Those who
question your motives or ideas are
enemies of progress and agents of the
ruling party. They must be denounced.
There can be no opposition to the
opposition.
You must understand that the only way
you can achieve change as an
opposition politician is by running for
office or getting a political
appointment. There is no need to do
anything selfless like what Al Gore, who
instead of running again for office after
he lost, devoted his life to fighting
climate change and other
environmental causes. That can only
work in America. Here you must be in
politics to achieve change.
Remember that being an opposition
politician covers a multitude of sins,
both past and present. As soon as
people receive evidence of your having
decamped they should, if they are not
evil people, turn your crimson past into
an immaculate white present. They
should not distract you from your task
of opposing the government by
bringing up scandals and allegations. If
they do God will judge them harshly.
I wish you well as opposition politician
and that someday, God blessing your
hustle, you will get that office you so
thoroughly deserve.
By Elnathan John