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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / Voodoo Dick (1240 Views)
Strange But True, The White Man Voodoo / Voodoo Pe.nis / Voodoo Prick (2) (3) (4)
Voodoo Dick by tuk2neaty(f): 10:07pm On May 21, 2008 |
Once upon a time, there once was a traveling salesman who's wife was a well known sex addict. But because the man could not be home all of the time, he often worried about his wife's faithfullness. He had noticed that she had been eyeing the young neighbor boy who cut their lawn recently. So one day the man decided to try to do something about this. After work the man entered a sexual aid shop and asked the owner to show him the selection of dildos. "Why yes, of course." said the owner, "We have a very wide selection." But after looking for quite a long time, the man just did not find anything that satisfied him. "Well, maybe I have just what you need." remarked the owner, "Wait here." And with that, the owner ran into the back and started digging around for quite some time. After about twenty minutes, the owner finally came out carrying a strange, rectangular box with ancient writing all over it. He set the box down on the counter and opened it for the man. Inside, resting on a bed of satin, la lay an ancient wooden Love Machine. "Wow, that pretty neat." said the man, "But what's so special about it?" "This is the Voodoo dick." remarked the owner, "Watch." Then the owner commanded, "Voodoo dick, rise." All of a sudden the Love Machine rose and hovered in front of the man's face. "Voodoo dick, door." The Love Machine then flew to the door and started pounding on it like a jackhammer. Five minutes later, when the door was nothing but a pile of splinters, the owner finally commanded, "Voodoo dick, box." The Love Machine stopped suddenly and zipped back to rest in its box. The man, being in amazement, pronounced, "My god, this thing is incredible. I must have it. How much is it?" "Oh no, I cannot sell it to you. It is a family hierloom and is not for sale." "Well, I must have it. I'll give you $200 for it." demanded the man. "No, not for sale." "$500." "No, I cannot." "$700." "I am sorry." "$1000." "Well, ok." So the man took the Love Machine home and presented it to his wife, "When I am gone and you start to get hot and Hot, all you need to do is say 'Voodoo dick, cunt' and it will do the rest." explained the man. The next day the man had to leave for his business trip. He was not gone more than thirty minutes when his wife started to get that feeling again. She picked up a magazine to read and noticed that their lawn was being mowed, but wanting to stay faithful to her husband, she decided to try her new toy. She ran to the bedroom, fell onto the bed, opened the box, and commanded 'Voodoo dick, cunt'. With that, the Voodoo dick started to Bleep away at her pussy. The wife thought that this was incredible and was having one orgasm after another. An hour passed and she was still orgasming like crazy. Another hour passed and she was begining to tire and getting a bit sore. But she realized that she did not know the command to stop the Voodoo dick. She decided that she had better get help as soon as she could. So she got into her car and raced to the hospital. While speeding there,she flew past a cop who then proceeded to pull her over. "Why in the hell were you driving so crazy?" asked the officer. "Well officer," answered the wife, "I have this Voodoo dick in my cunt, and I dont know how to stop it." To which the officer responded, "Voodoo dick, my ass!" And guess where the dick flew to? |
Re: Voodoo Dick by Uche2nna(m): 10:11pm On May 21, 2008 |
Too long but cool |
Re: Voodoo Dick by TOYOSI20(f): 7:43am On May 22, 2008 |
Nice 1 |
Re: Voodoo Dick by ohilebo(m): 7:48am On May 22, 2008 |
, Voodoo Private, C----y cunt |
Re: Voodoo Dick by tuk2neaty(f): 12:29pm On May 22, 2008 |
bet u wudnt mind one of em voodoo c**t. |
Re: Voodoo Dick by olulu(m): 1:26pm On May 22, 2008 |
Voodoo bleeping, coooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool but i prefer d real tin, anaconda baby, cool joke , love it |
Re: Voodoo Dick by tuk2neaty(f): 4:31pm On May 22, 2008 |
but really tink of how it will be like, voodoo cunt, all u hav to do is to open ur mouth and u are bangin away, with no one tellin you hoe tired she is. |
Re: Voodoo Dick by olulu(m): 6:02pm On May 22, 2008 |
tuk2neaty: nay, i love dem breats best da cunt issue is after fore play, 5 play, 6play, up to 12 play, no breasts, no fcukin cos its as good as stickin it in a hole in d wall |
Re: Voodoo Dick by tuk2neaty(f): 9:24pm On May 22, 2008 |
how abt a voodoo breast? like voodoo breast my mouth! and is there in ur mouth with you suckin it away. hmmm hmmm! i can imagine, then your voodoo p***y! |
Re: Voodoo Dick by olulu(m): 8:52am On May 23, 2008 |
Voodoo Breasts u want me to choko while sucking, and even when i nibble/bite on d nipples, i want hear no moan or sharp intake of breath, voodood pussy u want to break my anaconda, or even spinal cord, due to over bleeping. girlfriend, i love it the way it is, |
Re: Voodoo Dick by Jeovy(m): 9:36am On May 23, 2008 |
cool, una spoil sha |
Re: Voodoo Dick by tuk2neaty(f): 3:11pm On May 23, 2008 |
if i no be panadol, i no fit beĀ like panadol. |
Re: Voodoo Dick by Nobody: 1:46pm On May 24, 2008 |
wooden Love Machine. |
Re: Voodoo Dick by tuk2neaty(f): 8:59pm On May 24, 2008 |
wooden Love Machine ke? |
Re: Voodoo Dick by Nobody: 11:34pm On May 24, 2008 |
@ POSTER it seems u dont have something to do. |
Re: Voodoo Dick by 2muchbar(m): 12:52am On May 25, 2008 |
i get the metal one if anyone needs |
Re: Voodoo Dick by tuk2neaty(f): 9:58pm On May 25, 2008 |
@chisco, is it dat ur the bus conductor to chisco bus or wht? well yoy are seekin for attention, i have noticed you ok, go hide ursef somewhere. @2muchbar, no thanks i hav the real thing, metal one ke? u wan comit muder? |
Re: Voodoo Dick by clemcykul(f): 12:10pm On May 26, 2008 |
some stuff |
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