Hello NL he is seriously confused after he knew they are both As that means not genetically compartible...and they are madly in love, please what should he do? quite or marry her.

Evansedos: Hello NL he is seriously confused after he knew they are both As that means not genetically compartible...and they are madly in love, please what should he do? quite or marry her.

You can both get married why not!!!
If you are ready to face the consequences .

Love is a tiny fraction of what you need to sustain a marriage!!!
If you think you can both endure the trauma of raising sickle cell kids, then you can brave it on!!!
Or just adopting kids without having to sire ur own biological kids then feel free!!

But if u are not ready to watch your kids suffer in pain from time to time, or even die at intervals then better use ur head . This is not a matter of love o!!!
Wake Up!!!

Yes,they can if they plan not to have children,adopt or explore other medical bypasses if they can afford it.

If none of the above, it would be a wicked thing to do.

But was told is not 100% [quote author=Royal Roy]

You can both get married why not!!!
If you are ready to face the consequences .

Love is a tiny fraction of what you need to sustain a marriage!!!
If you think you can both endure the trauma of raising sickle cell kids, then you can brave it on!!!
Or just adopting kids without having to sire ur own biological kids then feel free!!

But if u are not ready to watch your kids suffer in pain from time to time, or even die at intervals then bette

slimyem: Yes,they can if they plan not to have children,adopt or explore other medical bypasses if they can afford it.

If none of the above, it would be a wicked thing to do.

wicked i know but what about the love? the beautiful moment cheered, u mean i should walk away just like that?

Op forget Love now, lets be realistic. How would you feel when you discover as a child ur different frm ur peers? Where almost everyday you fall ill, you can't play around bcoz you feel weak always, eachday you go to the hospital for check-up,etc. Do you think as a married couple, you'll be happy if ur child go through these face/process of life? I'm asking you these bcoz u'll be blinded by love now but later, you'll be full of regret. But if ur madly,insanly in love, u can go ahead. As the saying goes Love is blind,bt later ur eyes will be open.

Evansedos: But was told is not 100%

Are you having a laugh here? You wanna risk having sickle cell anemia kids on a gamble? What gives you the right to play God with a child's life?

I think what you need here are some hard-hitting visual images and first hand experiences of what these poor souls go through, instead of the unrealistic stuff you've been watching on Africa Magic.

I suggest you start by visiting hospitals to see the pain and suffering these kids go through. If you're lucky enough to come across a surviving adult with sickle cell willing to share their experiences, ask them these questions:

~ What has life been like, growing up with the disease?

~ How do they feel towards their parents for bringing them into the world to suffer so? (assuming the parents knew about their "AS" genotypes, the implications and yet still went ahead to procreate?)

Do that, then come back and tell us if you still think this "love" of yours can withstand the pressures and reality of living with sickle cell anemia.

If you won't bother trying to have kids yourself. i.e. you're comfortable with adoption or other methods. If not, don't bother! Walk away! That love would clear off!

Go visit some sickle cell kids in the hospital and see if your love can withstand that and even stand the suffering of the kids

Don't ever try that! U will live to regret it for the rest of ur life.
My very beautiful and intelligent cous who desires to marry is still single cos no man want to marry a sickler.she is an accountant.
My SIL's sis died while waitin for call up letter for nysc. Died before my eyes.We always call her genevieve nnaji cos she look like her. Her bro who is a sickler also over the yrs hv developed a kind of bad k leg.
While in school,a classmate of mine ran mad when we were preparin for exam.A profs son.
A medical dr that dared d devil buried all his kids cos he tot he knew it all
My cous broke more than 8yrs union bc there was a mistake in the lab result of his gal.He is as.we hv done the intro.His sis is the first example I gave.
One guy child that I know very well who is as short as aki and pawpaw just started walking according to pple he is living with at age 14.started talking after that and entered primary school at 20 something.
His family abandoned him at church and this good family adopted him. He is so frail.while walking one will still notice that he can't walk well.
Do u want me to continue?

A word is enough for the wise. Clear your eyes and wipe off the roses and think loooong and hard or choose the option of adoption but knowing the way naija feels about adoption, it may not work out for you.

If he really wants a union that will bear forth kids, he should look for someone with AA genotype.

trouble sleep yanga com wake am up

plz dont, already scared though i know the implication very well because i am pharmaceutical student! on my part i dont want to but she is insisting,well thks gradually gaining some courage to say good bye [quote author=yellowpawpaw]Don't ever try that! U will live to regret it for the rest of ur life.
My very beautiful and intelligent cous who desires to marry is still single cos no man want to marry a sickler.she is an accountant.
My SIL's sis died while waitin for call up letter for nysc. Died before my eyes.We always call her genevieve nnaji cos she look like her. Her bro who is a sickler also over the yrs hv developed a kind of bad k leg.
While in school,a classmate of mine ran mad when we were prepa

https://www.nairaland.com/abali1. pls go thru this guy's post. He is a sickle cell carrier and a warrior. Maybe his experience will give you the whole picture.

i laugh in chinese! pls don't try the marriage. love ke. o tio. i had 1st hand exp. while in the univ. my friend is ss: 1.all nurse n dr know him(want ur child 2 b popular in hosp?).2.he stays more in d hospital than hostel n lecture rm combined.

I hated some parents with passion while in secondary school. When I was in SS3, the school admitted a boy with sickle cell anaemia and was allowed to be a boarding student. I assumed the parents got tired of him. Hence, they dumped him in the hostel for us to take over.


This boy was such a lively and happy student. He was in my friend's house, so I always pay a visit there. Need I tell you that he had a permanent slot in the school clinic. Alas, in one of his crisis period, we rushed him to the hospital but that was his end. The event gave me a perfect understanding of the travails of sickle cell patients.


Our parents can be forgiven because most of them married without the prevalent medical knowledge of this age. It will be suicidal and wickedness on your part if you go ahead all because of emotions you called love. Infact, you will become guilty before God and Men to intentionally bring a child to suffer because you want to satisfy your emotional curiosity. What if the girl had left you before you discovered this, will you die?


Nevertheless, I believe in miracle. If this is what you want to bank on, its better you let the miracle happen before going ahead. Except you hear an express word from God.


If you do fail to heed to voice of reasonings, I only pity the innocent child that will be subjected to torture and not the trouble you will go through.


A word is enough for the wise.

^^ I soooo get the angle you're coming from, hence my earlier suggestion that @OP should go spend some real quality time with Sickle Cell Anemia sufferers and their parents.

You know, way back in secondary school, I too had a very close friend who had the disease. She was one of my best friends and it was so excruciating watching what she had to go through.

It was terrible whenever she had one of her crises coming on. Infact, we all (her classmates) soon learnt the signs. One minute she'll be laughing and joking with the rest of us, the next minute she'll go suddenly quite, with tears streaming down her face about the pain in her legs. I think that school ambulance was in existence just because of her. They never wasted time in rushing her to the hospital and she'll be out of school for 2 or 3 months on end.

Even when she was okay, she missed out on a lot of activities. She was forbidden to partake in sports, and sometimes when the whole class got punished for one misdeed or the other, even for noise making (trust my name was always on that blasted list), she would be excluded from punishment. No teacher wanted to touch her, let alone punish her. One day she insisted that she too must be punished - so just to humour her, the teacher tapped her palms with a ruler. Slight tap o! But even then we were all petrified. Everyone was like: "No, no, don't O!". Can you see how badly this poor girl just wanted to 'belong' and fit in??

We didn't have internet or personal computers those days as per say, just the odd photocopying machine used for administrative purposes in the principal's block. The onous was then on me as her best friend to copy ALL the class notes for every single subject by hand - and I mean all 13 or 14 subjects in school - and then give that spare copy of notes to her siblings, via mine in the lower classes. It was tough work, but she was my friend wasn't she?

I did the same for assignments too. Her younger ones then copied all those notes for her into her exercise books. I'll never forget the day I went to visit her in the hospital. I almost didn't recognize her. In the middle of the sweltering hot Warri sun, this poor girl was wearing really thick jumpers and covered up...and yet was shivering.

I asked her how she was feeling and she could only muster that her legs were hurting her. Chai!! That day I remembered God by force. Sometimes when you think life's hard on you (what teenager doesn't think so?), all you need to do is go see someone who's worse off.

Anyway, she pulled through eventually but it was touch-and-go, all the time. Thankfully, she's still alive today but I doubt if she'll ever be able or would risk wanting to have kids of her own. I mean biological kids...

@OP: If you're selfish and self-centered enough to still risk going ahead with this, despite the advice given to you, then so be it. But don't cry later on when the scales of 'love' fall off your eyes.

Really pathetic but wait o what if she insist to continue like my case even when i am ready to let go?[quote author=Efemena_xy]^^ I soooo get the angle you're coming from, hence my earlier suggestion that @OP should go spend some real quality time with Sickle Cell Anemia sufferers and their parents.

You know, way back in secondary school, I too had a very close friend who had the disease. She was one of my best friends and it was so excruciating watching what she had to go through.

It was terrible whenever she had one of her crises coming on. Infact, we all (her classmates) soon l

@Efe,

Its as if you described the boy in relation to your friend. We were the seniors then and the boy was in JSS 1. He would beg us to at least let him join in activities but na lie we no gree. Despite we were young, we couldn't come to terms with what that lively boy went through.


His death broke and affected me a lot. When we rushed him to the hospital in the middle of the nite, the senior boarding house master stayed with him and we left for hostel. The master himself broke into tears while breaking the news. Everybody loved the boy.


@OP,


Some decisions are taken without emotional sentiments. Tell her you are breaking up for obvious reasons. She will not die. She will get over it with time.

I would marry him or her in a jiffy and ADOPT!!!
They can try just once and take the 1:4 chance and the odds might favor them!

Love is like death. . . . You only do it ONCE!

They should not look at the short term happiness but rather the long time effects of what the union will bring them. Time will come when all this lovey lovey will clear on their faces and then reality will set in and the frequent hospital visits cos of their child or children will have a strong and negative effects on them.

They should both be mature about this and think of the possible consequences. I have a neighbor that spends plenty on their child who is suffering from sickle cell. No be beans o cos is almost every week the boy is been admitted in the hospital.

He shd stop d relatnship no mater the fealing they hv for each other. Why go into wat will create sadness in future. You dnt need a prophEt to tell u say road no dey there""

Evansedos: Really pathetic but wait o what if she insist to continue like my case even when i am ready to let go?

What do you mean insist to continue? Who?

Certainly not my friend. She's too intelligent for such thoughts.

You have a good heart Kanwulia.

Kanwulia: I would marry him or her in a jiffy and ADOPT!!!
They can try just once and take the 1:4 chance and the odds might favor them!

Love is like death. . . . You only do it ONCE!

I would marry and adopt maybe do other procedures.
Life itself is risky.
Yesterday on Yahoo news, I was reading of the 2years best man that died of cancer.
Our world will never be perfect.

armyofone: You have a good heart Kanwulia.



I would marry and adopt maybe do other procedures.
Life itself is risky.
Yesterday on Yahoo news, I was reading of the 2years best man that died of cancer.
Our world will never be perfect.

u mean he should go ahead and marry her?

Evansedos: Hello NL he is seriously confused after he knew they are both As that means not genetically compartible...and they are madly in love, please what should he do? quite or marry her.

Why is there so much talk about this? If they intend to marry, they can. If they decide to have children, they can. They only need to get the right information and be determined. I am against birthing children who will be sick or end up dead so the best is to ensure that you have healthy chidren from the begining. Walk into any ART center around you and make enquires about various methods of Assisted Reproductive Technology. If a woman with reproductive problems or a impotent man can have children, why not them. Let me state that this is my thoughts and am not forcing anyone to agree with me.

Most insightful post of all, devoid of sentiments and fear. Well done.

chi nene:

Why is there so much talk about this? If they intend to marry, they can. If they decide to have children, they can. They only need to get the right information and be determined. I am against birthing children who will be sick or end up dead so the best is to ensure that you have healthy chidren from the begining. Walk into any ART center around you and make enquires about various methods of Assisted Reproductive Technology. If a woman with reproductive problems or a impotent man can have children, why not them. Let me state that this is my thoughts and am not forcing anyone to agree with me.

Dont take the chance. How many pregnancies do you want to abort? Except if you want to tie yourself to having se8x with condom for the rest of your married life and do IVF to have kids. All that stress is not worth it, any mistaken pregnancy like this, its to shiver to death over uncertainties. There are 7billion people in this world, the lady would be fine. . Are you really willing to take that chance in Nigeria where there is a high case of misdiagnosis and so many people believe they are AA till they take another test and find out they are AS. Imagine the accuracy of such tests on an unborn child. Its a very irresponsible and silly gamble.

ART centre? plz throw more light [quote author=chi nene]

Why is there so much talk about this? If they intend to marry, they can. If they decide to have children, they can. They only need to get the right information and be determined. I am against birthing children who will be sick or end up dead so the best is to ensure that you have healthy chidren from the begining. Walk into any ART center around you and make enquires about various methods of Assisted Reproductive Technology. If a woman with reproductive problems or a impotent man

baby_123: Dont take the chance. How many pregnancies do you want to abort? Except if you want to tie yourself to having se8x with condom for the rest of your married life and do IVF to have kids. All that stress is not worth it, any mistaken pregnancy like this, its to shiver to death over uncertainties. There are 7billion people in this world, the lady would be fine. . Are you really willing to take that chance in Nigeria where there is a high case of misdiagnosis and so many people believe they are AA till they take another test and find out they are AS. Imagine the accuracy of such tests on an unborn child. Its a very irresponsible and silly gamble.

You make me laugh. So the only prevention method you know is using condom and the only ART method you know is IVF. You are a real asset to this forum. My dear, its not your choice to decide, its theirs. Are you married? Please research facts before you post as I have done. I have given up 3 wonderful men because of genotype before I met the 4th who enlightened me about it, I did my research and came up with a game plan. Moreover my sister is a womderful example and she did it 10 years ago when technology was not as advanced as it is today. Not forcing you to agree, just stating my mind.

Evansedos: ART centre? plz throw more light

The best place to get the necessary imformation is from a specailist (Assisted Reproductive Technology), but I will tell you what I intend to do. After marriage, I will make use of a prevention method similar to the female condom. Its made of soft flexible plastic and acts like a tampon. I have tried it on several occasions wearing it for as long as a month at a time. Then when we are ready for our little angels, we go to the clinic and make a choice. We intend to use donor sperm or egg using IUI where the sperm is introduced via the vagina or donor egg is introduced (it depends)procedure cost about 40,000 on the average if you don't have fertility problems and am hoping for twins. If I don't get them my twins then I continue my family planning method and try again for another bundle of joy after a year or so, after which I would start long term family planning.

Please note that these are my plans and am not forcing anyone to agree with me. And let me say that at the end it will be worth it.