This Parody is written by Ike Pius

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‘Your fee is 3 million dollars,’ Honorable Farouk Lawmani said, not smiling.

Otedollar laughed. ‘Honorable! I know you will not believe me if I tell you that I don’t have that kind of money.’

Farouk Lawmani shook his head and sat up on the luxurious leather chair. He adjusted his cap. His face was quite grave. ‘Listen my friend, if you consider the way you have been kidnapping government funds in the last two years you should be happy to pay this small change and move on with life.’ He said.

‘Erm, but I am not the only one that profited. I am not a stingy man!’ Otedollar protested.

‘Prove it now! Prove that you are a giver. 3 million dollars will not kill you. Besides, this government is very serious; if your name appears on that list you could lose your company and go to jail! But if you pay this money I guarantee you …all the evidence against you will disappear!’

Otedollar sighed. The blank look on his face indicated that he was lost in deep thought.

Farouk Lawmani saw that his argument was effective. He pressed on: ‘Think about the press. Just think about what the papers will say!’ He spread his hands theatrically, ‘Femi Otedollar, chairman of Xerom oil indicted in fuel subsidy mess!! All those thieving union leaders will then start with their own drama; calling for the “rule of law” to take its course. Pay the money and let us help you. We will do it like magic! But if you think 3 million dollars is too much then-’

‘Oh please wait Honorable,’ Otedollar interrupted, ‘I have not said I will not pay. The problem is that I do not have that kind of money right now.’

‘Erm, so what do we do, my friend?’

‘Let me pay it in 2 parts. I will give you $650,000 now, and then give you the balance next week.’

Farouk Lawmani shrugged. ‘No problem. I will simply explain the situation to the other committee members. They are reasonable men. They will understand.’

‘Okay. Please give me a moment,’ Otedollar said as he got up and headed for the stairs.

Honorable Farouk Lawmani nodded. He then picked up his half-full glass of cold champagne from the small table near his chair. He started to reason with himself: I must call my investment managers. That American company they were talking about. I hope it’s not too late to buy a stake. Ah! It pays to be corrupt.

Femi Otedollar quickly returned carrying in both hands a huge stack of green paper.

Farouk Lawmani’s face lit up! His eyes widened and he started to lick his lips. He put the empty glass of champagne on the floor, next to his briefcase.

‘Here it is sir, $650, 000,’ Femi Otedollar said, putting the money on the small table near his guest.

Honorable Lawmani pulled up his sleeves and gathered the cash, putting it on his laps (his kaftan holding it well) ‘$650,000 you say?’ He queried.

‘Yes, $650,000.’

‘Hahahaha…don’t worry! All the evidence against you will disappear! Abracadabra….the more they look the less they see! Hahahaha…it will be like magic!’

‘Thank you, sir,’ Femi Otedollar said.

‘Don’t worry at all!’ Farouk Lawmani picked up his briefcase, opened it, and started to transfer the cash into it. ‘If 2 solid ships could disappear, what is paper evidence? I am the chairman of the probe!’

‘Thank you sir,’ Femi Otedollar repeated.

Honorable Farouk Lawmani then stood up and shook hands with his host. He turned towards the door and started to leave. ‘Na we get the government! Even for bible; corruption no be sin!’ he said.

This is part 2. https://www.nairaland.com/1398859/faroukgate-inside-story-2

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