People help me. I'm confused. I have thought I have been very good with handling children and understanding them but this one beats me.

How do you deal with a 4 year old that tells adults they are stupid, calls them mad. not just adults, even his siblings and peers

Leave him alone. The boy would get better as he grows up.

He learnt it somewhere; probably from his parents when they were arguing. Find out!

He does it because it always get attention and a big reaction from the adult in question. It's called attention seeking.

Tell him that that is wrong- insulting people is not an acceptable form of behaviour.
Explain the meanings of the words "Stupid" and "insane" and make him learn their meaning and how to spell them.
Make him apoplogise to the adults in question.
You could also make him write a report of why insulting people is wrong.

The worst thing you can do in this circumstance is hit him because that would be asinine.

Afeni:

Leave him alone. The boy would get better as he grows up.

trust me, he'll only get worse. Kids hold on to wat they've learnt while growing and its shows when they grow up.

2 ways to deal with the situation here -

1) if the child is in Naija, make sure u beat the leaving daylight out of him/her, i mean real beating. tell him to stop insulting adults while u beat till he sleeps and continue with the beating when he wakes up. punish him by making sure they don't go out and play, could be the neighbours kids teaching him all that and threaten him with no food for the day.

2) if the kid is abroad, honestly, try and talk calmly, don't hit him oh cos if child services catch u, i no dey ohh. just buy candy for him, feed him till he sleeps and by the time he wakes up, he'll find himself at ISOLO or SURULERE where he will find pple that will teach him manners.

my 50kobo  

Children copy why the hell beat a child for what you thought him.
For a child the parents are the rolemodel .
In a household were everyone is polite and calm the child will be the same.
If a mother is always shouting the kids too will not speak normal but shout all the time over nothing,

@busta. LOL, I sooooo agree with you completely!

kick thire @$$

Beating children only shows that one dose not know how to deal wit it,
An example . my kid calls me a fool . i do nothing yet later the kids want something(they always do) i tell them i cannot get you n ice because am a fool and fools cant do that. And i stick to it . i will call m self a fool because my kid says so the next 3 days. thats so embarrassing for the kid it will never do it ever again.
I do not remember having that problem.

When a kid is 4 it dose not know what its sying.
Am clapping very well because am proud of my kids.
When i go to the school the teachers smile for me .
There is a difference if your kids love and respect you or fear and respect you.
These kids will grow to be men and women do not think they do not bear grudges.
If you want draw blood every day its not my biz.
But i know many that do not enter the family house again when the (good parent )passes away.
for eg i know some one that has not seen his mum since the dad died and only for the beating he cannot forget

Busta:

good for you mamaput, Clap for ursef!!

the next time, your kid will call u a bitch or ashawo, don't do nuthing just tell him, that explains how I gave birth to u!well at least, u don't remember having that problem.

let me see the day my kid will try that with me, he will remember the day he was conceived.

by the way explain what you mean by the neaxt time they call me what every .I do not recall saying they call me any thing. and what dose a bitch or ashawo have to do with it.
And why insult me .Because i do not draw blood from my kids or kidnapp them to Nigeria to be "dealt with" I love them.

But if my kid calls me that ho yes i will say it runs in the blood.

But they English is not their mother launage so they will neve r use those words on me

Flog them. After that sit them down and explain to them why you flogged them. Then tell them what they've done is wrong and explain why it's wrong. Also tell them not to do it again.

My 2 cents.

um, thanks everybody for ur suggestions. but one thing is clear I couldnt possibly leave the kid alone. these habits they develop so rapidly and stick harder with them as they grow, and before you know it they are something else.

Beating the kid, well I've come to learn that the 'beating strategy' does not work with all kids, so I guess that will also depend on what kind of child he is. But whatever I do, or whatever we do, I believe setting good examples is paramount and also monitoring closely the sort of kids he/she plays with and what they do when they spend time together. That way we can seperate the sheeps from the goat, the seed from the chaff.

Thanks Y'all.

Upping for more responses

children will aalways meet badeggs all there life. The best thing is to teach them to ge faithfull too themselves. That means they must not have to do what every one is doing because its cool. I always tell them you came to this world alone and you go alone so make your way alone.

I have thought I have been very good with handling children and understanding them but this one beats me

he beats U yeah?? wait till he murders U!

p/s i know U mean he beats your imagination and not beat U as in beat U!

@eveseh, this is nt the time to 'kick their @ss'

@rhody, lol.

@topic, i think, whatever is done to d child is dependent on d kind of child he/she is. For some beating works, for some it is a stern warning in love, for others it is punishment. But the basic thing is to let d child understand d reasons for whatever u do or say.

lol dominobaby

But when sharia court sentence someone to public flogging every one will shout barbarians

@cammax7,
Is it your kid? or at least are you in contact with the child often, the reason I ask is it will require some consistency, anyway here's what works for me,
When the child says the word I have a problem with, say in your case "you are stupid" I take them aside and tell them I do not like that word, it is not a nice word to use, and if they use it again such and such will happen as punishment, could be a time out, taking something they like, and when it happens again(which is usually soon) I remind them of our conversation and follow through on the punishment, however they kick, scream and object, when they realise I mean business, they do do it. After a few tries the word is removed, and removing subsequent undesired words/behaviour is easier,
Hope you find something that works for you.

ETA:
I don't believe in beating kids, it didn't work on me and in my experience a 4yr old child likes to be talked to not at, and sometimes it's just about defining boundaries or looking for reactions,

beat tha chile , make him have respect

lol

give them a good butt whooping

What happened to spare the rod and spoil the child. . . good beating won't kill a child but teach him manners. Lets spare all the western theory bullsh*t that isn't working out for them.

I wouldn't let a child speak to me like that 

But a 4 year old has learnt from his parents that it is ok for him to do this. If it is not your child you cannot do much, but just tell the child that this is not ok to speak to you like this and that if he does it again he will be in trouble with you. Then if it happens again you have to take action. It could be as simple as telling the child the leave the room and not come back until he can apologise and be polite. It can be hard though when it is not your child, it's down to the parents to discipline their children, and if they don't care, what can you do.

If my son had done that at 4 he would have got a smacked bottom!

I know that most Nigerians seem to think that western parents don't discipline their children but most of us do, and we don't like out of control children any more than you do. The rudest child I ever met was a Nigerian girl aged 8. At a big family party she took a dislike to me and was very rude and no-one stopped her at all.

This topic is damn interesting.

Beating is one of the corrective measures. But not to be used often. Closeness to kids gives them the feeling that they belong to the family.I will always call my kids to other and talk to them often.Create awareness of the outcomes of being insultive and l will also use cane when necessary.

::

we have most of them here in Nl.

To everything in life, there is a time and season. There is a time to speak to your child and there is a time, when necessary, to smack your child.

Proverbs 22: 15 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him

spank him

spanking kids doesn't solve anything it just make the situation worst.@anabell

You have to sit the child down and talk to him and if that doesn't work u take everything that he enjoys having fun with. forexmaple TV, games e.t.c. u don't allow him to play or interact with his mates , or even eat with them. You should tell him to sit by himself.