Ms. Ose teaches in a school, she stood in front of a JSS 3 class on a Friday morning explaining nutritional concepts to the class when she suddenly noticed that the attention of Ari was directed at his locker- she stealthily walked towards him only to see that while she was busy teaching the kids, explaining, writing and drawing on the board, Ari was busy alternating his hands between his penis and mobile phone where a pornographic video was being played.

Mr. Az dictates over a Banana republic somewhere in the west of the colored race, he was supposed to address the nation on television, as soon as he got up to do his job, he immediately stumbled back into his sit because, as we later heard from experts on drincology, he had just finished an overdose of burukutu before facing the camera.

Ms. Ann studies at the University with Lagoon at a former capital city in the west of Africa, she was accosted and sent away at the gate by Baba blue because she was dressed in a tight-armless overall that extends just a bit below her waist showing her translucent panties; she left angrily telling them that she was going to sue them for "only God knows".

Mr. Sal sits at the top of a law breaking club having fellow breakers and punchers amounting to the sum of angles at a point at a capital territory up in the savannah; not only did he claim to own a university degree, he boasted to all and sundry that he got it at a prestigious one up there in the land of the brave. Though it was later discovered that na "Zobo" he give us, he currently sits as a boss in an ivory tower down there in the east thanks to the man with a top hat.

Mrs. And is a private school owner, she prays at the beginning of the day and goes to the altar to preach prosperity, salvation and God's favor on the "rest" day; not only does she pay her staff less than $2 per day though she bills each kid $166, she also prides her school as the malpractice centre of the republic as both WAEC, NECO and JAMB officials find her offer too sweet to reject. It was said that invigilators lobby to get posted to schools like hers.

HRM traditionally controls a small town off the boarder, not only does he force residents to cough out huge sums at different times for laying the foundation of a hut, fence, roofing, plastering, weeding, painting; plumbing, he also sees it as imperative to jump from one polling unit to the other conniving with electoral officers to manipulate votes in favor of the party that puts the throne at his doorstep.

Prof. teaches numbers at a respected citadel, "confirm" students do not bother open his course note not to talk of reading it- they do not even bother to sit for tests because unlike other courses, there is an almost affordable price tag placed on the 3 unit course which automatically fetches 5 points; if the end does not justify the means, please tell me what does.

Mr. Ab is a custom officer with a wife and two kids, his wife neither knows the color of the sky nor the day of the week because unlike those traders, hawkers and business women whom her husband seizes and confiscate their wares, Mrs. Ab gets everything she needs right inside her home without lifting a finger- all she need do is to watch season films, Indian films and Paloma and Diego while the maids do the washing, cleaning and cooking.

Mr. Rb started his life eating with a "take-away" plastic spoon; later in his honest days, he stepped up to feeding his belly with a pen but the size of the pen was either too tiny or was hurting his mouth so he lobbied to find himself a shovel to feed himself with- we thank Jah on his behalf as not only is his tummy getting bigger as that of a certain Mr. Oku, the left-overs from the shovel certainly are not disposed in a trash can but at the hands of a collector.

Old Ja is best known for kitting up a trainers on an agbada; he holds command over a neighborhood where small babies are killed, adolescents- slaughtered and able men are crushed like ants. With all these problems in his neighborhood, he still finds time probably out of his extreme selflessness to battle over the position of ‘oga at the top’ with sixteen titans against nineteen; thank God for him, according to Naijamatics-the abracadabra of numbers, 16 is greater than 19; praise thy lord!

Jeun soke is a party among the descendants of Arabia, though natives see traces of sensible governance amongst few of its flag bearers as evident in the land of nobody, majority of them flaunt maney, yeah maney-not money this time; maney. With 57 caretakers across the lagoon becoming stinking millionaires over occupants that eats ration of either 1-0-0, 0-1-0 or 0-0-1 a day; democracy can only get better.

Mr. Eb sings when he needs a favor but pontificates when he is questioned on his actions and unfulfilled promises. Just two seasons ago when he needed a favor to enable him sit on a rocky chair that was previously occupied by thieves, murderers, private university owners, oil blockers and coup plotters, he took more than enough strepsils, tomtom, baba blue, bitter kola, warm water just to refine his voice; the end product was an album that had several tracks on it like overhauling of education, health care improvement, construction of roads, construction of bridges, economy diversification, employment opportunities.. the denizens of banana republic did not only borrow money to buy the album but obtained loan to buy a CD player; dem even queue for filling station buy fuel for generator- wetin de inside CD? na korofo (empty). ASUU, make una no vex oo! na inherit our oga inherit the problem.

Madame Tol is famous for her praxis in the wood industry just like most natives of the giant country that are held up under the shackles of colonial nudity. A photo of hers was recently posted online where a popular Senegalese entertainer was watching a season film on her sagged breasts which was made very easy as a result of the obscene cloth she had on. This was the same person that was crying foul all over the place on the issue of "child not bride" as if she was not contributing her own quota to the decline of morals in the society all in the name of professionalism forgetting that our youth imitates what they watch on screen.

Yaa'lufa fervently quotes from the holy book on the need to be accountable, transparent and just while at the same time abandoning his pulpit to make a pilgrim tour of the desert land with the ‘grace’ and support of a certain politician who have stolen more than enough from his followers; he turns the sermon into a Grammy with the way and manner he sing songs of praises and seeks the blessing of the most high on his criminal benefactor at the same time raining curses on his opponents, critics and supposed enemies who from all indications are tax payers; his coming home is often noticed with a golden tooth which retains its color through the alcohol he consumes from his praying kettle although, he cautions his subjects on it.


Modiu Olaguro finds "X" at the University of Lagos;
Email: dprophetpride@gmail.com