My friend sam is in a relationship with a lady that he loves so much and she also loves him too but the problem is that they have different beliefs when it comes to matters of tithes and offering especially tithes.
My friend believes tithes were practised as a requirement in the old covenant and was used as a means by God to feed the levites and priest who had no allotment in the land,he also believes that after christ resurrection,the temple became non existent, so he was not required to tithe but rather offer free will giving and contribution as his heart leads him.
The lady believes that tithes after christ ressurection became a principle and so still keeps tithing....its now turning to an everyday debate and its almost threatening their relationship of 3years(note:both are very good christians)..please how can they reach a compromise and agree on what to do or whats the way forward for them?
Please your sincere advise and contributions are welcome!

This Man, stop being Lazy.Several Threads have been made to discuss to issue.

EatmyShorts: This Man, stop being Lazy.Several Threads have been made to discuss to issue.

my friend needs ur opinion not ur backlash..if u cant contribute...just ignore and move on...no be by force to comment

"My friend believes tithes were practised as a requirement in the old covenant and was used as a means by God to feed the levites and priest who had no allotment in the land" = CORECT, that is why the full time Pastor needs the tithe just like the Old Testament ,
"he also believes that after christ resurrection,the temple became non existent, so he was not required to tithe "
Temple: is a place of worship (a building devoted to the worship, or regarded as the dwelling place, of a god or gods or other objects of religious reverence). Is he saying that those that believe in the same faith do not sit to share words,meet or when they do it, it always at open air and not permanent?
Therefore,the Full Time Minister/ Pastor need the tithe and the ministry needs it more for the expansion of the good news.

clip: "My friend believes tithes were practised as a requirement in the old covenant and was used as a means by God to feed the levites and priest who had no allotment in the land" = CORECT, that is why the full time Pastor needs the tithe just like the Old Testament ,
"he also believes that after christ resurrection,the temple became non existent, so he was not required to tithe "
Temple: is a place of worship (a building devoted to the worship, or regarded as the dwelling place, of a god or gods or other objects of religious reverence). Is he saying that those that believe in the same faith do not sit to share words,meet or when they do it, it always at open air and not permanent?
Therefore,the Full Time Minister/ Pastor need the tithe and the ministry needs it more for the expansion of the good news.

tanks 4 ur comment though u didnt really answer d question at d tail end..how can there be a compromise or agreement between dem 2 foster peace?

I believe they both should take a break and re-evaluate their faith in Christ- they should ask themselves questions about whom they are truly serving? How can they please Him? They should also ask God for a revelation of the truth so that they can be set free. Our churches, these days, are void of truth. They feed the people with what they want to hear since most pastors are psychologist either by profession or proxy. All part of the scriptures is useful for teaching 2 Timothy 3:16. Otherwise, we would be reducing God, Jesus and His disciples to advisers and commentators. God wants us to obey His commandments, but if anyone thinks otherwise, then they can go one killing, stealing, committing adultery and even refuse to pay tithes, after all those are laws written in the old testament. I hope this is helpful.

tommybiz2002: I believe they both should take a break and re-evaluate their faith in Christ- they should ask themselves questions about whom they are truly serving? How can they please Him? They should also ask God for a revelation of the truth so that they can be set free. Our churches, these days, are void of truth. They feed the people with what they want to hear since most pastors are psychologist either by profession or proxy. All part of the scriptures is useful for teaching 2 Timothy 3:16. Otherwise, we would be reducing God, Jesus and His disciples to advisers and commentators. God wants us to obey His commandments, but if anyone thinks otherwise, then they can go one killing, stealing, committing adultery and even refuse to pay tithes, after all those are laws written in the old testament. I hope this is helpful.

tank you my brother!

@op

If they honestly want to solve their problem and they need advice from other parties, they should either make research on NL where that topic has been argued upon/discussed or they both should be here, each of them presenting their biblical reasons and then allow participants to give their own reasons in support or against their individual points. ie if they are sincere.

but I dont know whether they sincerely want the truth. if they are in love with the teaching of their pastors (which may possible be an underlying reason preempting a trux), they can never agee cos the issue concerns their individual faith rather than on truth.

If the guy wants to marry her, let him just do so, she will swallow that belief later, ie if the guy's church condemns tithing.

many men work with reason, with little religious colouration, but women hardly let go what their "men of God" tells them no matter the biblical prove. but if your church condemns the habit and you marry them, they may swallow that doctrine and settle for yours.

but if the belief is just the personal belief of the guy, ie if his religion accepts tithing, and the gal's church accepts it too, then tell your friend sorry.

But they can consider Hebrews chapter 7 together.

It's a dangerous thing for couple to have contrary belief. It's important to marry someone of same conviction and faith.

[color=#000099][/color]hmmmm

JMAN05: @op

If they honestly want to solve their problem and they need advice from other parties, they should either make research on NL where that topic has been argued upon/discussed or they both should be here, each of them presenting their biblical reasons and then allow participants to give their own reasons in support or against their individual points. ie if they are sincere.

but I dont know whether they sincerely want the truth. if they are in love with the teaching of their pastors (which may possible be an underlying reason preempting a trux), they can never agee cos the issue concerns their individual faith rather than on truth.

If the guy wants to marry her, let him just do so, she will swallow that belief later, ie if the guy's church condemns tithing.

many men work with reason, with little religious colouration, but women hardly let go what their "men of God" tells them no matter the biblical prove. but if your church condemns the habit and you marry them, they may swallow that doctrine and settle for yours.

but if the belief is just the personal belief of the guy, ie if his religion accepts tithing, and the gal's church accepts it too, then tell your friend sorry.

But they can consider Hebrews chapter 7 together.

The bolded is a very wrong advise to give. If the wife stops tithing when she believes it is not wrong, it becomes a sin to her.

It is better intending couples solve their differences before marriage.

Pretending b/4 marriage to show your 'true colour' after marriage is pure wickedness

Hmmm! This is serious, can two walk together except they agree? My best advice is both should agree to respect each other's view else they shouldn't marry.
This is because there will be resentments and strife particularly when financial challenges come up in the home. The wife may attribute it to husband's non-tithe payment stance and would be unhappy, resentful and bitter. However, if both agree to let the other be, individuals will spend time to pray to God to open the spiritual understanding of the other and God will do so. The most important thing is that both are believers and love the Lord, tithe or no tithe.

Thank you all for making matured and excellent analysis of the situation my friend is into!
though the comments sent so far might seem enough,but i wud like to get more comments on dis issue!
can anyone direct me 2 threads in nairaland dat discussed this particular topic extensively?
thank you all for your comments!

bukatyne:

The bolded is a very wrong advise to give. If the wife stops tithing when she believes it is not wrong, it becomes a sin to her.

It is better intending couples solve their differences before marriage.

Pretending b/4 marriage to show your 'true colour' after marriage is pure wickedness

it is no pretence at all. many women believe they dont have a church unless they marry. so they will support their current faith, but after marriage, they swallow the former believe and move on with the new faith.

I am not encouraging the habit, but its sad that that is what many women do.

I believe in the reasonableness of marrying ONLY in the lord. (someone of like faith).

bentenny:
My friend sam is in a relationship with a lady that he loves so much and she also loves him too but the problem is that they have different beliefs when it comes to matters of tithes and offering especially tithes.
My friend believes tithes were practised as a requirement in the old covenant and was used as a means by God to feed the levites and priest who had no allotment in the land,he also believes that after christ resurrection,the temple became non existent, so he was not required to tithe but rather offer free will giving and contribution as his heart leads him.
The lady believes that tithes after christ ressurection became a principle and so still keeps tithing....its now turning to an everyday debate and its almost threatening their relationship of 3years(note:both are very good christians)..please how can they reach a compromise and agree on what to do or whats the way forward for them?
Please your sincere advise and contributions are welcome!

I would have found myself in that situation some three years ago when I was courting my wife. But then I still believed in tithing and it was not an issue in our relationship. Five months ago, when I stopped tithing, I talked it over with my wife and though it was a really tensed situation, and she was unhappy about it, we resolved that as long as she could still pay her own tithe, the matter will not be an issue btw us. She even refused to listen to whatever reason led me to such conviction. She felt I had been deceived and close loosing my faith in God.

Five months later, I get to share my conviction with her on tithing little by little; she is now convinced that tithing is not a legal requirement for Christians but she gives a tenth of her income as a "freewill offering" to the church.

I related my story to draw home the fact that this matter is a very serious issue. On the one hand couples should share a similar faith, at least the fundamentals of their faith, if not it will tear at the foundation of their home. And if they do not have this, it is better they do not marry. On the other hand, what is really a fundamental to our faith? Tithe? This is the real issue. The Matthew 23:23 that many quote as the only justification for tithing showed Jesus implying that tithing is not a weighty matter or it is not fundamental. When did tithing become a fundamental issue in Christianity? It became fundamental when false prophets, benefiting illegally from it, made it so.

Now, it is easy for those of us who are not in this couple's shoes to just say they cannot marry bc they do not share a similar faith. But do we know what goes into the making of a relationship? Especially one that has lasted three years. I will give my advice in two fold, directing one to the husband and the other to the wife below, bc I know that I have a great home and with lovely children and if I had gotten the revelation on tithing, like I do now, three years ago, it would not have given me a home like I have it. I am saying the tithe matter should not stop this home from becoming a reality: So,

Lady/Wife:

Assume you are in your husband's home already. If you were and a matter arise, is this how you will continue to debate it? The bible commands the wife to submit to the husband. Take your time and read the following "evidences" I provide on NL on why tithing is no longer acceptable in today's Christianity.

I will refer you to these websites

www.tithing101.com (you can download a book here)

http://tekoapublishing.com/books/tithing/index.html (a book make up the website with each chapter on each webpage)

http://www.tithing-russkelly.com/

and you can download a book on tithing by a young Nigerian, Mofesola, here:

http://mb.mettalloids.com/tithe-and-you-the-book/

Tithing has been overly debated on NL; there is no evidence that this will reduce. We have people who keep asking the kind of question in the OP. Do your research; Study the scriptures; weight the arguments both for and against; check the website and pray. Then make your decision based on what God leads you to do and not what people claim could happen to you in the name of curse or curses.

Man/Husband:

You may not be married now but assume you were how will you handle your differences. Read Romans 14 and see there what Paul cations to do with non-weighty matters of doctrine like tithing. "He that tithe, to the Lord he tithe. He that doesn't tithe, to the Lord he doesn't tithe". Do not condemn your wife tithing; permit her to and trust God to bring her to understand the matter like you did, no matter how long.

If the point of difference of belief was the question of how to be saved; Jesus being the son of God or other fundamentals of our faith, ehen, you may say, let's put off the marraige; but if it is for a mere matter of tithing, pls do not. I advice, though, that you both work this matter out sufficiently before you go to the altar.

I wish you all the best. And, OP, do let us know how the thing is going btw the two of them.

Cheers.

DrummaBoy:

I would have found myself in that situation some three years ago when I was courting my wife. But then I still believed in tithing and it was not an issue in our relationship. Five months ago, when I stopped tithing, I talked it over with my wife and though it was a really tensed situation, and she was unhappy about it, we resolved that as long as she could still pay her own tithe, the matter will not be an issue btw us. She even refused to listen to whatever reason led me to such conviction. She felt I had been deceived and close loosing my faith in God.

Five months later, I get to share my conviction with her on tithing little by little; she is now convinced that tithing is not a legal requirement for Christians but she gives a tenth of her income as a "freewill offering" to the church.

I related my story to draw home the fact that this matter is a very serious issue. On the one hand couples should share a similar faith, at least the fundamentals of their faith, if not it will tear at the foundation of their home. And if they do not have this, it is better they do not marry. On the other hand, what is really a fundamental to our faith? Tithe? This is the real issue. The Matthew 23:23 that many quote as the only justification for tithing showed Jesus implying that tithing is not a weighty matter or it is not fundamental. When did tithing become a fundamental issue in Christianity? It became fundamental when false prophets, benefiting illegally from it, made it so.

Now, it is easy for those of us who are not in this couple's shoes to just say they cannot marry bc they do not share a similar faith. But do we know what goes into the making of a relationship? Especially one that has lasted three years. I will give my advice in two fold, directing one to the husband and the other to the wife below, bc I know that I have a great home and with lovely children and if I had gotten the revelation on tithing, like I do now, three years ago, it would not have given me a home like I have it. I am saying the tithe matter should not stop this home from becoming a reality: So,

Lady/Wife:

Assume you are in your husband's home already. If you were and a matter arise, is this how you will continue to debate it? The bible commands the wife to submit to the husband. Take your time and read the following "evidences" I provide on NL on why tithing is no longer acceptable in today's Christianity.



Man/Husband:

You may not be married now but assume you were how will you handle your differences. Read Romans 14 and see there what Paul cations to do with non-weighty matters of doctrine like tithing. "He that tithe, to the Lord he tithe. He that doesn't tithe, to the Lord he doesn't tithe". Do not condemn your wife tithing; permit her to and trust God to bring her to understand the matter like you did, no matter how long.

If the point of difference of belief was the question of how to be saved; Jesus being the son of God or other fundamentals of our faith, ehen, you may say, let's put off the marraige; but if it is for a mere matter of tithing, pls do not. I advice, though, that you both work this matter out sufficiently before you go to the altar.

I wish you all the best. And, OP, do let us know how the thing is going btw the two of them.

Cheers.

tank U so much...i will definitely keep you posted about my friend and his lady..please is it true that such issues were treated in previous threads?
if true,cud u help me with the links to such?
tank you so much and God bless U!

bentenny:
tank U so much...i will definitely keep you posted about my friend and his lady..please is it true that such issues were treated in previous threads?
if true,cud u help me with the links to such?
tank you so much and God bless U!

https://www.nairaland.com/1239719/questions-frosbel-tithing

https://www.nairaland.com/1319662/goshen360s-exposition-hebrew-7-abrahams

https://www.nairaland.com/307798/says-tithing-not-new-testamental

And many others like it and you could visit my blog on my signature below

@DrummaBoy, weldone

@OP, I think you have enough materials from all advice proffered here to help your friends make a decision. Its not such a big deal if both of them know tithing is NOT important to the Christian life.

When I told my wife I stopped tithing, she was aghast and very afraid for our finances. However when she got a job some few months after and saw that I didn't lose my job as she expected, she relaxed. I didn't make it a law for her to stop and she didn't even let me know when she stopped though she still reserves 10% for God's work(as she calls it), but Mal 3:8-12 no longer scares her.

I pray your friends realise God needs them as a whole sacrifice to him, not just 10% of their cash.

i would like to thank every one that has contributed his or her own opinion to this issue...i never knew public forums like nairaland had such enlightened individuals..i have actually learnt a lot about this 'tithe' wahala..just hope such doesnt happen to me ...well,the buttomline is that my friend and his girlfriend have brought their 3-year relationship to an end due to disagreements over the tithe or tithe struggle and other hidden issues unknown to me...my friend was willing to accept her tithing belief..suggesting that there were more important issues to tackle but his girlfriend insisted that she can't marry a man who does'nt tithe!(na wa oh )..so thats actually the latest update so far...its really a pity.......!

bentenny: well,the buttomline is that my friend and his girlfriend have brought their 3-year relationship to an end due to disagreements over the tithe or tithe struggle and other hidden issues unknown to me...my friend was willing to accept her tithing belief..suggesting that there were more important issues to tackle but his girlfriend insisted that she can't marry a man who does'nt tithe!(na wa oh ).

Are you kidding?? Tithing should be an individual decision.

bentenny: i would like to thank every one that has contributed his or her own opinion to this issue...i never knew public forums like nairaland had such enlightened individuals..i have actually learnt a lot about this 'tithe' wahala..just hope such doesnt happen to me ...well,the buttomline is that my friend and his girlfriend have brought their 3-year relationship to an end due to disagreements over the tithe or tithe struggle and other hidden issues unknown to me...my friend was willing to accept her tithing belief..suggesting that there were more important issues to tackle but his girlfriend insisted that she can't marry a man who does'nt tithe!(na wa oh )..so thats actually the latest update so far...its really a pity.......!

too bad!

Hehehe, two should not walk together except they be agreed. Tje issue of money/finances is very imporrtant in marriage and shuld not be glossed over. Perhaps the OP's friends even have deeper doctrinal differences thn tithing. Tithing was just the initial sign or crack in the crumbling wall. Tension is bound to arise ver what they both want to use their money for, and the antitithe fellow will cntinue to hammer on the 'not so big deal' ten percent that the wife gave as tithe as the reason why they do not have enough for other things. i say find a birdie of the same feather, srry.