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If I Were President Jonathan Now - Politics - Nairaland

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If I Were President Jonathan Now by ZUBY77(m): 3:05am On Sep 05, 2013
IF I WERE PRESIDENT JONATHAN NOW,

...I would immediately summon and preside over an informal but serious meeting with my wife, Vice President, Secretary to the Government of the Federation, Head of Service of the Federation, Chief of Staff, minissters, special advisers, special assistants, ambassadors, Bamanga Tukur, and Tony Anenih. I would be seated in an only simple and single chair while everyone else would sit in a classroom formation in front of me - with my wife, Deziani and Adaeze seated next to one another and the other invited women seated beside them in the front row of the 'class.' Without any 'opening prayer' and pleasantries, I would begin the meeting with the following announcements:

1. Labaran, Reuben, Doyin, this meeting is off-press.
2. Bamanga, ignore all those calling for your resignation.
3. Adoke, the anti-corruption agencies must do their work without interference.
4. My dear wife, you will now be only my wife. All your First-Lady projects and programmes will henceforth be handled by Ministry of Women Affairs. You may remain with me in Abuja or go to Yenagoa and fully occupy your permanent secretary office there.
5. Deziani and Adaeze, henceforth, see me only regarding your formal ministerial issues.
6. Also henceforth, no alcohol nor any other intoxicant will cross my lips or nose - not that I ever took any of that, anyway.
I would then deliver the following short address:Ladies and gentlemen, between now and the PDP presidential primary sometime next year, I do not want to hear anything about PDP. The mandate we are holding is extra-PDP; it is a cross-party and even non-party mandate. Therefore, we would be failing the good people of Nigeria if we allowed our personal and PDP interests to distract us from the all-Nigeria mandate that we are holding. We owe good governance to all Nigerians, but some self-interested and self-conceited individuals want to use PDP to distract and destabilise us. We must not play into the hands of those persons. Ignore the PDP elders, ignore the the PDP governors, ignore the PDP legislators, ignore news and rumours of split, ignore reports of formation of other parties by those who no longer want to remain in the PDP. It is their constitutional and democratic right to do so. But I want them to regret their attempted blackmail of this administration ... not by fighting them but by showing to Nigerians that our below-average performance so far has been because of the persons who have left the party. Though we have barely a year to PDP presidential primary in respect of a general presidential election that may hold in November 2014, we can achieve a great deal in terms of public perception, good governance, service-delivery and projects within a year. From now on, I don't want to hear that even one kobo of Nigerian tax payers' money has been embezzled, misappropriated, misused, misapplied, stolen or spent recklesslessly.I don't want to hear that any contract has been awarded without following due process, has been delayed in being awarded or being executed, or has been certified executed below agreed specifications. Ministers of Defence, Police Affairs, Justice, Transport, and Petroleum Resources, I don't want to hear that even a drop of crude oil or a bottle of natural gas has been stolen or wasted. I want us to maximise national earnings from petroleum deals and taxes; without wasting a kobo of our revenue to corruption and on usual frivolities such as foreign trips, rallies, talk-shops and girl/boyfriends, we would have all the money to 'embarrass' even our detractors with unprecedented infrastructural development and evidence of good governance. And we may not have to borrow a cent from anyone to deliver on any of these. Yes, you heard me right. No foreign trips for us for the year; the ambassadors will handle any business with the foreigners on our behalf or ask the foreigners to come here instead. Whoever will not comply fully with the letters and spirit of this address should resign at once or will be sacked without the prevarications of the past. You bet, this is the new me. Now, go back to your offices and surprise Nigerians. Ministers of Education and Finance, fulfill all the terms of the 2009 agreement with ASUU and end the ASUU strike before the close of work tomorrow. Henceforth, let us talk little and let our actions speak for us. Let us see how, after a whole year of the new us, Bamanga's rump will not give us ticket and how appreciative Nigerians will not vote for us massively across party and non-party lines in the general election. Or how, if they want to use threat of impeachment to distract and destabilise us at any time within the year, the good people of Nigeria will not rally to our support and protection. They did it before and will do it again with our renewed innocence.


Written by Dr Chinedu Jideofo-Ogbuagu

2 Likes

Re: If I Were President Jonathan Now by Kanwulia: 3:17am On Sep 05, 2013
Sorry!

NO DEAL!!!

JONATHAN GOODLUCK CANNOT BE ALLOWED TO STAY IN THAT OFFICE FOR 10 YEARS!!!! kiss

He has only 2 left MAX! TWO TERMS ONLY!!!! kiss

Please, JONATHAN. . .GO PRACTICE YOUR EXIT DANCE. . . THE AFRICAN SKANK! TEACH YA DAME PATIEN-T TOO!!!!kiss
i SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURE WOULD LIKE TO SAY YA DAME DO THE 'MASSAI'!!! grin


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZIZds36pvoQ
Re: If I Were President Jonathan Now by Wsdm: 7:22am On Sep 05, 2013
Welldone sir Mr. Jonathan by proxy!
If the above is in his mind and he puts it into action, hw would have been President for life. But all his senses are as if blocked.

1 Like

Re: If I Were President Jonathan Now by DankemzI(m): 7:42am On Sep 05, 2013
You are absolutely on point... If only G.E.J were to abide by this, because Nigerians are madly in love with developments & delivery. If he "G.E.J" acts on this accord you'll see Nigerians will outgrow their tribalistic sentiments & vote massively for him. To me i dont care where the tribe president come's from, what i care about is when he come's delivers. "One day Nigeria will be a tourist destination with clean, secured well planned cities with 24hr power supply"
#Long live one united Nigeria, Long live Nigeria, Nigeria good people great nation#
Re: If I Were President Jonathan Now by aljharem(m): 7:45am On Sep 05, 2013
DankemzI: You are absolutely on point... If only G.E.J were to abide by this, because Nigerians are madly in love with developments & delivery. If he "G.E.J" acts on this accord you'll see Nigerians will tribalistic sentiments & vote massively for him. To me i dont care where the president come's from, what i care about is when he come's delivers. "One day Nigeria will be a tourist destination with clean, secured well planned cities with 24hr power supply"
#Long live one united Nigeria, Long live Nigeria, Nigeria good people great nation#

Very wrong. Nigerian don't love GEJ. we love democracy and GEJ has not given us that.
Re: If I Were President Jonathan Now by DankemzI(m): 7:50am On Sep 05, 2013
alj harem:

Very wrong. Nigerian don't love GEJ. we love democracy and GEJ has not given us that.
Quote me right i did'nt say we love G.E.J, what i was saying is Nigerians are madly in love with developments & delivery which entails demoCRAZY
#EndAsuuStrikeNow#
Re: If I Were President Jonathan Now by DankemzI(m): 7:55am On Sep 05, 2013
Wsdm: Welldone sir Mr. Jonathan by proxy!
If the above is in his mind and he puts it into action, hw would have been President for life. But all his senses are as if blocked.
I tell ya, what do you Xpect when bad adviser's work with you
#EndAsuuStrikeNow# Team:EASN
Re: If I Were President Jonathan Now by fatgirl: 10:58am On Sep 05, 2013
GEJ is trying, if u dont believe, every community has got a transformer, use yours.

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