CIRCLES 1

I tried not to show that i was nervous. I did what i normally do when i don't want people to know, i smiled and took out a magazine from my bag and started reading it. Everyone else looked tense and extremely nervous. We were all here for the same thing, there was no need for any of us to show that we were ashamed of what we were about to do. I felt i had rushed this, i had to call him to see if he was okay with it.
I i got up and went outside, scrolled to hhis number in my phone then i pressed call. All this time i had been worried about what i wanted and how it was going to affect me. I had not consulted him to know what he wanted. After ringing for 15seconds he picked up.

Me: hie
Him: how are you?
Me: i know i never asked you what you wanted
Him: my girl if i wanted that baby i would have told you
Me: okay thats all i wanted to know
Him: i will try and make my way there if i am not swamped with my work

I hang up without a word. I wanted to cry and scream at the same time. Things had changed between us, but i had to move on. I went back into the room. Sat in my seat and took my magazine again. I couldn't read it anymore. Were all these women in this room in for the same thing, were they going through what i went through or was their case different. I guess so, because 2 of the women came into the reception holding hands with their boyfriends. They seemed happy, but why were they getting abortions i wondered.
Did they not have enough money to support the children or were they simply not ready ready for parenthood. I know i didn't have the money to take care of the baby, neither was i ready to be a single mother. With the way things were going on between Owen and I. I was going to be a single mother if i kept the baby.

I had to suck it in and do it. At least that way i could go back to school and continue with my life. One by one we were being called each girl would put on a gown walk into the room and 15 minutes later walk out looking limping a little. I was terribly nerves, should i go through with it or not? When i took the scan he/she looked so tiny and unbelievably huge head looked adorable too. He or she kicking up a lot with the tiny little legs. I thought for a second that he/she might become an athlete or the next best architect. I loved architecture, i was going to be one myself.

They called out my name and asked me to go into the nurse's office. This was were i was going to decided whether i was going to be a mother at 20 or not. The commitment to our choices make us who we are.

Following

Following

CIRCLES 2

It was a small room with 2chairs and a table. She took out a form and asked me to fill it in. It asked if I had any STIs or HIV. I remembered that I forgot to even go for a blood test after I found out that I was pregnant. My heart started beating fast. I had been stupid enough to expose myself with such a risk all because of 30mins of pleasure and he never fully satisfied me anyway. The nurse was very pleasant, she smiled and made me feel comfortable.
She asked me about my sex life and when I found out I was pregnant and why I wouldn't want to keep it. I thought to myself, I have no job, why else do u think I wouldn't want this child? Isn't that obvious.

Nurse: so where is the man responsible?
Me: he told himself that he won't be responsible. anymore
Nurse: why did you have unprotected sex, if you both. weren't ready for the possible outcomes
Me: you do stupid things when u are blinded by love
Nurse: you can't afford that in this day and age where we have HIV and AIDS
Me: do you have a child?
Nurse: yes I do. Why did u ask?
Me: how was your experience of giving birth
Nurse: scary but it was my greatest achievement ever. I know have a beautiful bright little girl

I looked at my tummy and rubbed it gently and smiled. I thought to myself. Could I keep it? My mother would be devastated and my father would probably kill me. I remembered the scan I saw earlier. He or she looked happy, fidgeting a lot. The reason why I never slept much at night. I constantly urinated and I was always hungry, usually for food I never had. I knew it from what he said on that phone that he wouldn't be there for that child. I would be alone in this, but did this little creature deserve this because I didn't want to be alone. At that moment I felt so wicked. Would I really kill my unborn because of selfish reasons. And then again, if I wasn't selfish enough to do it, how would I support my unborn financially?

Humans can do pretty remarkable things when they are desparate, only then will one discover who he really is

Nice story.