Coming soon-Trust me,you are gonna enjoy it;its gonna be better than the last one...

Hullo all NL BUBBLEBRAINS,2014 is approaching,I'm back to give you hilarious jokes,all you need to do is sit down and stay tuned.

Where,s seniourman

fuckfuckman: Where,s seniourman

Ask PEJ!

Let get it started!!!



A woman and her 7 years old son were inside a Taxi. It was raining and all the twilight girls were standing
by the roadside.
The Boy asked; “Mummy, what are all those women doing?.”
His Mother replied; “They are waiting for their husbands to come back from work.”
The Taxi driver turned around and said; “Why don’t you tell him the truth?. Little boy, they are prostitutes,
they sleep with men for money.”
The Boy’s eyes got wide and asked; “Mummy is that true?”
His mother, glaring hard at the driver replied; “Yes.!!”
After a few minutes, the boy asked; “Mummy, what happens to the babies those women have?.”
She replied; “Most of them become Taxi drivers.

My wonderful girlfriend and I
had been dating for over a year
and so we decided to get
married. There was only one
little thing bothering me...It
was her beautiful younger sister. My
prospective 21 year
old sister-in-law, always wore
very tight miniskirts, and often
times was bra-less. She would
regularly bend down when she
was near me,and I always got more
than a nice view. One day
her little sister called and asked
me to come over to check the
wedding invitations. She was
alone when I arrived,and she
whispered to me that she had feelings
and desires for me that
she couldn't overcome. She told
me that she wanted me just
once b4 I get married and
commit my life to her sister.
Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't
say a word. She said,
I'm going upstairs to my room,
and if you want one last wild
fling, just come up and get me. I
was stunned and frozen in
shock as I watched her go upstairs. I
stood there for a
moment, then turned and
headed straight to the front
door. I opened the door, and
headed straight towards my
car. Behold, my future family were
standing outside, all
clapping!. With tears in his
eyes, my father-in-law hugged
me and said "We are very
happy that you have passed our
little test. We couldn't ask for a better
man for our daughter
Welcome to the family!".({}) I
smiled and heaved a sigh of
relief because I was actually
heading to my car to get my
condoms ...NA GOD SAVE ME O!

One day,a sailor was travling with a lecturer and the following conversation ensued:
LECTURER: Sailor do you know Ecology?
SAILOR: No
LECTURER: What about Zoology?
SAILOR: No
LECTURER: what of Biology?
SAILOR: I don't know.
LECTURER: (irritated)Whaton Earth do you know this man your going to die in ignorance.
Two hours later the boat started to sink and the lecturer got scared then the sailor asked do you know
swimminology?
LECTURER: No
SAILOR: What about Escapology from the Riverolog?
LECTURER: No
SAILOR: Today, the Crocodiology is going to consume your Headology beacause of your bad Mouthology.

A girl invited her boyfriend
(Akpos) over for dinner in her
house so he could meet her
parents. While they were eating, it
started raining heavily, so the
girl's mother said;"Akpos, i think
you
should sleep over here because
the rain shows no sign of
stopping anytime soon"
After eating, the mom went to the
toilet and the father went to sleep
while the girl went to
the kitchen to clean the plates.
When the girl and her mother
returned to the sitting room,
Akpos was not there, they
checked all over the house and
did not find him. As they were
wondering what happened to
him, he walked
back into the house, wet and
soaked with a plastic bag.
Girl's mother: Where were you
and why are you so wet?
Akpos: I went home to get my
pyjamas.

Three men rushed their wives to hospital for delivery, shortly a nurse came out and asked “who is Femi dt works wt 3 crowns? Femi answerd, nd d nurse replied “congrats, ur wife gave birth to 3 babies”. Sheentered, came out and asked who is Bayo that works with 7up? Bayo answered and the nurse replied “Congratz your wife delivered 7 babies” before the nurse could go back to the labour room, the 3rd man Akpos ran away because he works with 3'3 Export beers.

WHICH SMS CAN MAKE UR DAY FANTASTIC
1). Congratulations, you have won $20,000
2). Hey babe, just wanted to say 'I love you'
3). Come fetch your money, sorry about the
delay. Or u want me
to bring it?
4). Come over now, I want you!!!!
5). Please call me
6). You have been admitted into university
of your choice
7). Did you here that monday is now a
public holiday?
. I have a crush on you
9). I am pregnant n its urz.....
10). Congratulation,your wife just gave
birth
11). Others specify??

I'm very disappointed

You should be deported to westgate mall in kenya for 3weeks

~~~
haterz at work
.
.
.
Anyway,Bunmi,where have you been

A wife was sleeping in
the
middle of the night, she
suddenly shouted:'Get
up
quickly my husband is
here!!!'
The man got up from
the
bed,
jumps up out through
the
window, hurts himself
and
then
realized, ''Damn,I am
the
husband!!!''.
Who's guilty?

Yoruba people shout over the phone, Igbo people lie over the phone and Hausa People always call wrong numbers"
WHY

MEN
1. All men are extremely busy.
2. Although they are so busy, they still have time for women.
3. Although they have time for women, they don’t really care for them.
4. Although they don’t really care for them, they always have one around.
5. Although they always have one around them, they always try theirluck with others.
6. Although they try their luck with others, they get really pissed off if the woman leaves them.
7. Although the woman leaves them they still don’t learn from their mistakes and still try their luck with others.
COMMENT "TRUE" IF I'M RIGHT.

Mr.T Anonymous:
Yoruba people shout over the phone, Igbo people lie over the phone and Hausa People always call wrong numbers"
WHY

nw dis one crack me up



i av been among d civilian jtf catching boko haram in Borno...is dt nt gud?

At dinner, Akpor was forced to lead the family into prayer...
AKPORS : But i don't know how to pray
Dad : Just pray for your
family members, friends and neighbours, the poor, etc
Akpors : - "Dear Lord" he started "Thank u for our visitors and their children, who finished all my cookies and ice cream. Bless them so
they wont come again.
Forgive our neighbor's son, who removed my sister's clothes and wrestled with her on her bed.
This coming Christmas, pliz send clothes to all those poor naked ladies on my daddy's blackberry and provide shelter for the homeless men who uses
mom's room when daddy is at work!

bunmioguns:


nw dis one crack me up



i av been among d civilian jtf catching boko haram in Borno...is dt nt gud?

Please just sign me ur will...
*coughs*

Finally ASUU calls off strike after
3months of deliberation,..FG finally
agrees to pay the 1.2trillion naira
demanded by
ASUU and earn allowance of
9billion naira,but said all payment
would be made before the ending of
November,..president of the
Academic staff union of University
has summoned all lecturers to
return back to their jobs and urged
all students to resume
classes after which;
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Abeg wake up joor

WIFE: Honey before we got
married, you used to give me
gifts
and expensive jewelry.
HUSBAND: Yes, and?
WIFE: How come you don't do it
anymore?
HUSBAND: Have you ever seen
a
fisherman giving worms to
the fish after catching it?
One word please.

A kid went to the police to report about his lost bicycle.
KID: My new bicycle has been stolen.
POLICE: When did u notice?
KID: This morning
POLICE: Do you have a suspect?
KID: Yes,my mum and dad.
POLICE: why do u suspect them?
KID: yesterday at midnight i heard mum say
make it stand well so I can sit on it very well '
'and dad said ''climb up fast before it falls .
and mum said ''push slowly slowly don't hurt me.......
POLICE: hahaha o boy na senior bicycle be that oo

[b]Fifa 2014 is so real dat:
-Nigerian players dance Etigi after scoring
-No matter d formation u use with chelsea,it will
automatically change to 9-0-1
-All u need to do when using Spain or barca is press
pass,they do d rest demselves
-Ibrahimovic's nose always keeps him offside
-No matter what u do,u can never score with Mikel obi
-Drogba always score against arsenal,even if a rookie
handles Chelsea
-If u use Spain and attempt to shoot 4rm 18yards,it
doesn't work
-Tevez refuses to come on as a sub
-If u win champions league with arsenal a message will
come up writing “WHAT A JOKE"
-D pass button becomes ineffective whenever sturridge
is on d ball
-Messi doesn't score against Chelsea no matter what
-If u win EPL with Liverpool the screen will
automatically change to black and white
-If u bid for a player for around £16 million or more with
arsenal f.c it wil be game over
-If you're managing new castle in manager
mode,computer automatically bid for french players for
you[/b]

An old farmer wrote 2
his son in prison.
Dis year I wont b able 2 plant
potatoes cos I can't dig the field,
I knw if u wer here u
would help me.
D son wrote back, Dad,
dont even think of diggin d field
cos dat's where I buried d money
I stole.
The Police read d letter & d next
day d
whole field was dug by
police lookin 4 d money but
nothin
was found.
D following day the son wrote
again,
Now plant ur potatoes,
Dad..It's the best I can do frm
here...!

What is p!ss?
When U take a 9hr jorney 2 c a guy U met online n on getting there, his phone is switchd off! U r p!ssED!
After trying his line several hrs n still off, U felt U should check into a hotel; On gettin there, U discoverd ur wallet containing all ur money has been stolen. U r SO p!ssED!
U dropped ur bag @ d reception, ran 2 a nearby bank 2 withdraw with your atm card. On getting there, ATM traps ur card. Angrily, U went straight into d bank 2 complain n they tell U 2 come 4 ur card in a week time. Honestly U r h3ll p!ssED!
On ur way back 2 the hotel with absolute rage, U received an alert; 50k has been deducted frm ur account some minutes ago. om9! U r BADLY p!ssED!
Stil lost in rage, U got 2 dhotel only to find out ur bag is no more. U asked d receptionist he points 2 an inscription on d notice board which reads "bags kept @ owners risk". Ooh what a pity! U r d*mn p!ssED!
In d bid 2 make trouble, he calls d security 2 lock U up. oh! Who will bail U now? U r p!ssED! INFACT, U DON p!ss 4 BODY!

[b]A Chinese Call center:
.
Caller: h3llo, can I speak to Annie Wan?
Operator: Yes you can speak to me..
Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!
Operator: Yes I understand you want to speak to
anyone. You can
speak to me. Who is this?
Caller: I am Sam Wan, and I need to talk to Annie Wan.
It's urgent!
Operator: I know you are someone and you want to
speak to anyone. But what's the urgent matter about?
Caller: Well.. just tell my sister Annie Wan that our
brother Noe Wan was involved in an accident. Noe Wan
got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to hospital.
Right now, Every Wan is on his way to the hospital.
Operator: Look, if no one was injured and no one was
sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent
matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time
for this!
Caller: You are so rude! Who are you?
Operator: I'm Saw Ree.
Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your
name.
Operator: That's what I said. I am Saw Ree...
Caller: Oh...God..![/b]

An ugly woman (Bance is better than her) walks into a store with her two kids, yelling at them. John, the store clerk pleasantly said, "Good morning ma'am and welcome. Nice children. Are they twins?
The ugly woman stopped yelling and said, "Hell no, they are not. One is 9 yrs old & the other is 7 yrs old. Why dah hell would you think they
are twins, are you blind, or stupid?"
John replied, "I'm neither blind nor stupid ma'am, I just can't believe someone would sleep with you twice!!"

Wife: U r smelling woman's
perfume where did u get it?
Hubby: From the woman I was
squeezed with in the
taxi.
Wife: What abt d lipstick on your
mouth?
Hubby: Oho that one I got it
from Amai Julie whom I was
congratulating for passing her
exam.
Wife:What about the used
condoms in your pocket?
Hubby:Hey leave me alone don't
ask me silly questions. I want 2
sleep
Wife: Crying. This is not fair coz
me when I use them I don't bring
them home.
Hubby: Waking up angry. Wat did
u say?
Wife: Leave me alone I want to
sleep