My best friend hosted a friend from Lagos who came to deliver her baby in the US. This is her 3rd child, and all other births have been safe, unfortunately this time was not like the others. First the baby was in distress due to umbilical cord compression and they had to do an emergency C-section to save the child. Mom comes home 2 days after and things are going fine, until it starts to look like she has an infection about a week after, goes to the doctor for a check up and he prescribes antibiotics. 2 days later she is in distress and rushed to the hospital only for the doctors to say sepsis (they have not identified the bacteria); this woman is suffering from multi-organ failure and it is just a waiting game.

Where I need suggestions to help or support my friend.

1. The woman's husband is threatening her saying "nothing must happen to my wife and son", accusing her of using his wife for money. She no longer calls him to give him updates because of the way he talks, she sends text messages.

2. Her husband is very upset because he did not want anyone to come have a baby in their house, but his wife said she could not say no to her friend besides they have done this for her twice before and for many other people why should they stop now. I completely agreed with her husband, I think childbirth is something a couple should do together, but that is my opinion. My friend disagreed and committed herself to this.

3. She has to work and now has an infant to care for that she did not budget for, from food to child care it is taking a toll on her and daily hospital visits. What if this woman dies, or does not recover completely? Sepsis occurs in 1% to 2% of the population and can result in permanent organ damage for those who survive. Death rates are 20% for sepsis and over 60% for septic shock. What if she needs rehab, she does not have any form of insurance and has long run out of money. The medical bills are piling up and though she has applied for Medicaid it has not been approved yet.

How to deal with this kind of wahala? While I am not directly responsible, this is my best friend, my sister. Her trouble is my trouble. There is a bigger issue here but I think that is an issue for another day.

It seems this poor women is surrounded by non solution driven people. Her husband is on her case, the husband of the sick woman is on her case and even you her friend can't help but mention that she should not have taken in the woman. Okay she took in the woman. It is done. First thing is for her husband to get on the same side as his wife. Let him be the one communicating with the sick friends husband. Let the husband know that they will give him updates once a week and any other update he can call the hospital directly. If you can help your friend with the new baby then that's great. If her husband can come from Nigeria to get the baby that would be great. If not then he needs to raise money so someone can take the baby back home to Nigeria. As for the sick woman I will say that you guys should stay positive. She is not dead and she has a very good chance of making it through.

I wish her speedy recovery

The woman's husband is silly to be threatening fire on people that provided help for his wife

He should come to the US

The husband should calm the sitiuation down and take charge

After that they should keep distance from a family tjat is so diabolical and suspecting another of using juju

soul_glo: It seems this poor women is surrounded by non solution driven people. Her husband is on her case, the husband of the sick woman is on her case and even you her friend can't help but mention that she should not have taken in the woman. Okay she took in the woman. It is done. First thing is for her husband to get on the same side as his wife. Let him be the one communicating with the sick friends husband. Let the husband know that they will give him updates once a week and any other update he can call the hospital directly. If you can help your friend with the new baby then that's great. If her husband can come from Nigeria to get the baby that would be great. If not then he needs to raise money so someone can take the baby back home to Nigeria. As for the sick woman I will say that you guys should stay positive. She is not dead and she has a very good chance of making it through.

@Soul_glo: thanks for your suggestion regarding her husband being the one to communicate - really think this will go a long way to reduce stress.

regarding the husband of the sick woman coming over, he does not have a visa and cannot afford to travel. The only viable option is for her to take the baby home, but she can't afford to take time off right now and does not have money for the ticket so what we did was to cancel her flight pending when she gets better.

I would never beat my friend while she is down, she knows my opinion on this issue as we have disagreed many times on it and it is mostly because of a scenario like this. I have always been too scared of what can go wrong during childbirth having been there myself and not having my husband at my side. I just wanted those who read this to know my opinion.

We are doing the best we can to care for this little girl (we call her faith), assisting her as much as I can but this is not something I planned for. I have to work and so does she. My job is not that flexible to accommodate the demands of an infant and neither is hers. I have 3 kids of my own and my husband. I have school, and work and so does my friend. At this point we have both shelved registering for our next classes to accommodate this situation. I cannot help but be upset, but at the same time pray that this woman survives this with no permanent damage. That being said, when I hold her in my arms all the worries melt away. She is precious, and I just hope her mum gets well soon to hold her again.

pickabeau1: I wish her speedy recovery

The woman's husband is silly to be threatening fire on people that provided help for his wife

He should come to the US

The husband should calm the sitiuation down and take charge

After that they should keep distance from a family tjat is so diabolical and suspecting another of using juju

I tire oh!

One really has to be careful. If only he knows the wahala people r going through for him.

Anyway, her mother has a relative in the US, and she has agreed to take Faith with her (she runs a daycare), she will fly down from LA Friday night to pick her up.

hmm/// you guys have done a yeoman's job so far

Good that the aunt is coming for the baby

I dont know how easy it will be to take that child out of the country without a biological parent

Now the woman's husband has to start preparing for major billz

America and their health care system////

Ask/seek:



I tire oh!

One really has to be careful. If only he knows the wahala people r going through for him.

Anyway, her mother has a relative in the US, and she has agreed to take Faith with her (she runs a daycare), she will fly down from LA Friday night to pick her up.

Ask/seek:
My best friend hosted a friend from Lagos who came to deliver her baby in the US. This is her 3rd child, and all other births have been safe, unfortunately this time was not like the others. First the baby was in distress due to umbilical cord compression and they had to do an emergency C-section to save the child. Mom comes home 2 days after and things are going fine, until it starts to look like she has an infection about a week after, goes to the doctor for a check up and he prescribes antibiotics. 2 days later she is in distress and rushed to the hospital only for the doctors to say sepsis (they have not identified the bacteria); this woman is suffering from multi-organ failure and it is just a waiting game.

Where I need suggestions to help or support my friend.

1. The woman's husband is threatening her saying "nothing must happen to my wife and son", accusing her of using his wife for money. She no longer calls him to give him updates because of the way he talks, she sends text messages.

2. Her husband is very upset because he did not want anyone to come have a baby in their house, but his wife said she could not say no to her friend besides they have done this for her twice before and for many other people why should they stop now. I completely agreed with her husband, I think childbirth is something a couple should do together, but that is my opinion. My friend disagreed and committed herself to this.

3. She has to work and now has an infant to care for that she did not budget for, from food to child care it is taking a toll on her and daily hospital visits. What if this woman dies, or does not recover completely? Sepsis occurs in 1% to 2% of the population and can result in permanent organ damage for those who survive. Death rates are 20% for sepsis and over 60% for septic shock. What if she needs rehab, she does not have any form of insurance and has long run out of money. The medical bills are piling up and though she has applied for Medicaid it has not been approved yet.

How to deal with this kind of wahala? While I am not directly responsible, this is my best friend, my sister. Her trouble is my trouble. There is a bigger issue here but I think that is an issue for another day.

Hmmm, my prayers are with you guys. I have seen a few patients with sepsis and most got better with minimal damage after rehab. The prognosis for sepsis is good. I encourage you and your friend to advocate for this woman. Do not leave her alone, check on her daily, and ask questions about everything. Talk to the attending to get updates, befriend the nurses so they pay extra attention to her.

sorry double post

riyageh:


Hmmm, my prayers are with you guys. I have seen a few patients with sepsis and most got better with minimal damage after rehab. The prognosis for sepsis is good. I encourage you and your friend to advocate for this woman. Do not leave her alone, check on her daily, and ask questions about everything. Talk to the attending to get updates, befriend the nurses so they pay extra attention to her.

This is good also... but at this point.... soup wey sweet, na MONEY kill am

pickabeau1:

This is good also... but at this point.... soup wey sweet, na MONEY kill am

so true. he is about to learn what "free" really means

riyageh:


so true. he is about to learn what "free" really means

i wish him all the best but he needs to apply for a visa on either expedited grounds (medical reason)
he needs to also start negotiating with the hospital or else na .....

Ask/seek:



I tire oh!

One really has to be careful. If only he knows the wahala people r going through for him.

Anyway, her mother has a relative in the US, and she has agreed to take Faith with her (she runs a daycare), she will fly down from LA Friday night to pick her up.

Thank God that part is resolved. As far as I'm concerned, your friend did nothing wrong. Instead of the husband to be sending over money for the care of his wife and child, he is busy mouthing off, spewing diabolical nonsense. These are the types of people that will turn some people off from helping others. I doubt your friend is going to ever host anyone from Nigeria except family in her house again pregnant or otherwise. Your friend's husband should try to understand and provide support. God will reward you all for your kindness to the sick woman and her baby. I pray she recovers fully.

Medically, I'm very surprised at this complication and the way it played out. That hospital needs to answer some serious questions about it's surgical procedures and follow up care. This is a lawsuit that would be settled asap out of court by the hospital if anyone decides to go that route because the hospital cannot wiggle their way out of this one. They would have no choice but to pay up without even letting it the case go to court.

ileobatojo:

Thank God that part is resolved. As far as I'm concerned, your friend did nothing wrong. Instead of her husband to be sending over money for the care of his wife and child, he is busy mouthing off, spewing diabolical nonsense. These are the types of people that will turn some people off from helping others. I doubt your friend is going to ever host anyone from Nigeria except family in her house again pregnant or otherwise. Your friend's husband should try to understand and provide support. God will reward you all for your kindness to the sick woman and her baby. I pray she recovers fully.

Medically, I'm very surprised at this complication. That hospital needs to answer some serious questions about it's surgical procedures. This is a lawsuit that would be settled asap out of court by the hospital if anyone decides to go that route because the hospital cannot wiggle their way out of this one. They would have no choice but to pay up without even letting it the case go to court.

I wonder if she has a preexisting condition? Still, i can't imagine how an infection goes untreated. I have to wonder how far along was she when she came to the US? Did she get any prenatal care here? Did they have her medical history? Regardless this is a medical malpractice case waiting to happen once she gets better.


"These are the types of people that will turn some people off from helping others. I doubt your friend is going to ever host anyone from Nigeria except family in her house again pregnant or otherwise."

I agree, i doubt she will host anyone again. I don't host anyone for childbirth - Take the money you want to spend here and go to a good hospital, have your family around you. I once asked a lady who came for childbirth in NY, why she made that choice and she said so the child could be a citizen and come back for university education, because it is free in America. All i could do was smh.

Thinking it again, this diaboliq of a husband is using excuse to avoid payment

One pikin drop..no problem
Two ... No problem

Na now juju enter for mata when mega money enter the place

Thank God someone is coming for the baby. Wow. That just makes everything else seem attainable. Your friend's friend will recover and hold Faith in her own arms. Have Faith

Hmmmnn! See gbege

Having read your post, questions arise. Does the woman/lady in question had previous issues prior to childbirth? Have you people asked the hospital for a comprehensive report of what transpired? I guess the complication was the result of the hospital's actions and inactions. You people should ask questions from the hospital rather let them make you pay bills that could have been avoided.

If you are close to your friend's husband, I urge to help your friend get him on her side this period. In any problematic situation, the first step is finding a solution to the challenges than heaping blame. Once the problem is solved, then he can revisit issue of not allowing people come to birth in their home. For now, your friend needs her husband to weather this situation.

I pray that the woman get well soon and completely. She will live to nurse Faith by God's grace. As for her husband, put on him on silent mode since he is not even sending money for his wife's care but talking thrash...

Your friend needs all the support and encouragement to stand strong this period.

the womans hussy is sick when she was coming and she arrived he thanked you for accomodating his wife now he's shouting,God please baby faith needs her mummy,heal her so that daddy might not get high bp.

mysticgal: the womans hussy is sick when she was coming and she arrived he thanked you for accomodating his wife now he's shouting,God please baby faith needs her mummy,heal her so that daddy might not get high bp.

They say no good deed goes unpunished. Classic example

Abeg.. wetin b latest?

welcome to Nigeria, the place where winches fly to US on a broom.

pickabeau1: Thinking it again, this diaboliq of a husband is using excuse to avoid payment

One pikin drop..no problem
Two ... No problem

Na now juju enter for mata when mega money enter the place

I agree, I think he is trying to run away from paying anything. He might not have the money. I thought only rich people come over to give birth? I read on the travel section where most calculate 5000 dollars etc for birthing expensive but forget to add the just-in-case scenarios cost. This should be a lesson to also plan for the unforeseeable.
Hope she is better soon.

^^^Unforeseen Can cause escalations in multiples of budgeted costs

Imagine someone being asked to pay 15k usd

Kassala!


Rent monitor never complete.....