Ha!! nawa for all of you wee think sey man go go banckrupt after Igbo traditional Marriage.

single girls like us still dey ooh, i no wan make my guy come for this thread come change im mind oooo

Una don't forget sey traditional Marriage no be criteria anymore as long as you pay the dowry to the father of the bride in front of their Umunna? if you decide sey u wan do Trad. wedd. you fit do am according to what you are willing to spend or afford. After all no be you we go print invitation card? if you invite 10 people, na only the rice and akpu wey de 10 people go chop you go spend for. Bottom line to all the guys, make sure that you don't get engaged to "a want it all girl" becuase if you do, you will be sweating when spending for the church wedding even if una no do traditional wedding. ka eme sia nu

@ Topic

Cultures and Traditions, rule!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@ All Contributors to this thread. . . . . .

I find it very interesting that not one of you guys have answered the Poster's question. You have either bashed the OP or emphasised how expensive the wedding will cost.

I am equally as curious as the poster.

Does anyone know what a traditional wedding to an Ibo or Igbo girl will entail?

The requirements

The procedure

and blah de blah . . . . .

While you are at it could someone please confirm if it is equally as expensive to marry 'IBO' girl? ( I am aware from the previous posts that an IGBO chick will split your pockets  )

NaJa HaJe:

@ All Contributors to this thread. . . . . .

I find it very interesting that not one of you guys have answered the Poster's question. You have either bashed the OP or emphasised how expensive the wedding will cost.

I am equally as curious as the poster.

Does anyone know what a traditional wedding to an Ibo or Igbo girl will entail?

The requirements

The procedure

and blah de blah . . . . .

While you are at it could someone please confirm if it is equally as expensive to marry 'IBO' girl? ( I am aware from the previous posts that an IGBO chick will split your pockets  )

not many naija men travel across river niger bridge

JJYOU:

not many naija men travel across river niger bridge

am a lil confused . . . .How does that answer my question?

marrying igbo girls can never be too expensive b/c igbo girls are not for sale. there are poor igbos and they also marry. if u are rich, then the marital expenses are very optional but it is seen as a signal to show how much u value the girl. it also shows if u are stingy or not.

no amount of money can balance the value of an igbo girl.

@ Otele

I love you man

but this your name sef

Two Options

Perform the normal rites reqired by Ur tradition or U choose the BABY MAMA tradition, aka AKATA STYLE


@ for the poster, U can have Ur wedding in one room , that will be hello KOOL.


******A man who lives above his income is bound to steal****************

Also the wedding can be like OBAMA inaurguration ceremony, also hello kool





don"t mean that d poster doesnt have d money

@NaJa HaJe, please wat tribe are u?
what is required in ur tribe? that required in the igbo trad does not differ much from yours, (am sure)

but the procedures,
u go see the intended inlaws and make ur wish known,
u come back another day to confirm if they have found out about u,
if yes, then put something (kind of a deposit to show u are serious),
come back for the traditional rites which includes, dowry, seeing her uncles, aunts, age grade and mother(s), father(s),

yea, that simple, but remember, u never go to ur in-laws place empty handed,
hei, think agian, it doesnt have to be money,

now what more do u wnat to know?

I am about to get married and have just visited my inlaws for the official introduction.

My fiancee is from one of the Igbo states and i was given three lists:

a) List A: various items and the estimated cost according to my inlaws is 330 000=00 Naira.
b) List B: A bottle of wine for 51-named individuals alongside enclosing money in envelopes for each of them.
A piece of clothing for 14 other people plus money in sealed envelopes.
Soft drinks for 12 other relatives plus money in sealed envelopes.

c) List C: the dowry ( They are yet to tell me how much the bride price would cost).

It makes a total of 80 relatives of the girl whom will have to get money in envelopes and the gifts listed earlier.
If i enclose N5000=00 naira into the envelopes, it will amount to N400000=00. Adding the initial N330 000=00 will make a total of N730000=00. If i add the gifts (wine + piece of clothes), it brings the total to over N1 million naira.

I have not added other expenses such as feeding and drinks etc.

We have not even mentioned the white and court wedding which may cost over N800 000=00.
So, i am being given a bill almost approaching N2 million naira for wedding.

Does this chime with the experience of others?
How does the average person earning about N50 000=00 monthly able to afford this expense?

Everybody has level. Igbo girls are not for every riffraff.

Dede 1,
Are you calling a man working very hard and earning between N30 000=00 to N50 000=00 naira?
It is this culture of worshipping wealth above all other values in Igbo land that pressures young men to take risks that land them in trouble with the law.
Which ethnic group has the most numbers of 419 fraudsters, the most number of prison inmates or prisoners on death row. Igbo's are way ahead of the curve.
We need to examine our culture critically as it is beginning to result in negative social repercussions.

MY BROTHER BETTER SUAP NA MONET KILLAM, TRUE IGBOL LADIES HAS SONE ENVIABLE QUALITY THEY POSSES TO BE A WIFE THAT IS WYH U NEED TO PAY WELL FOR THE QUALITY OF WOMAN YOU ABOUT TO ENJOY (NO MIND SOME USLESS ONCE WE NO NO WHAT IS MEANS TO BE A WOMAN)

idiopathic:

Dede 1,
Are you calling a man working very hard and earning between N30 000=00 to N50 000=00 naira?
It is this culture of worshipping wealth above all other values in Igbo land that pressures young men to take risks that land them in trouble with the law.
Which ethnic group has the most numbers of 419 fraudsters, the most number of prison inmates or prisoners on death row. Igbo's are way ahead of the curve.
We need to examine our culture critically as it is beginning to result in negative social repercussions.

Dude if you don't have money to marry stay fu-cking single and stop this your bullshit of Igbo bashing on every thread that has Traditional marriage attached to it. Are you on some cheap dope?

Maybe your brother is an inmate or 419 mega star. But don't come in here spewing nonsense about Igbo people. When did you count the number of 419 perpetrators in Nigeria to determine the ethnicity on the lead? I doubt if you are Igbo, Mgbo piawapu gi isi

Go to Britain and do a demographic analysis of Nigerian Criminals. I guess the result will point to another part of Naija.

idiopathic:

Dede 1,
Are you calling a man working very hard and earning between N30 000=00 to N50 000=00 naira?
It is this culture of worshipping wealth above all other values in Igbo land that pressures young men to take risks that land them in trouble with the law.
Which ethnic group has the most numbers of 419 fraudsters, the most number of prison inmates or prisoners on death row. Igbos are way ahead of the curve.
We need to examine our culture critically as it is beginning to result in negative social repercussions.

sadly it's not Igbos.
We know who they are
Show me your proof
I have mine.

idiopathic:

Dede 1,
Which ethnic group has the most numbers of 419 fraudsters, the most number of prison inmates or prisoners on death row. Igbo's are way ahead of the curve.

Are you talking about America or Nigeria. If America I think you should go to the FBI website and be thoroughly shocked.

sadly it's not Igbos.
We know who they are
Show me your proof
I have mine.

Show us your proof. Igbos and Yorubas share the same quota in 419 business irrespective of the FBI list. Igbos in lagos dominate international 419 and many yorubas in Nigeria that are into 419 do local . It's the yorubas abroad that dominate in 419 here but not those at home. Edos are not left out too. Hausas lack the ability to naughtyrize computers. They resorted to doing federal 419 which does not require rocket science to do.

Hmm ,

idiopathic:

Dede 1,
Are you calling a man working very hard and earning between N30 000=00 to N50 000=00 naira?
It is this culture of worshipping wealth above all other values in Igbo land that pressures young men to take risks that land them in trouble with the law.
Which ethnic group has the most numbers of 419 fraudsters, the most number of prison inmates or prisoners on death row. Igbo's are way ahead of the curve.
We need to examine our culture critically as it is beginning to result in negative social repercussions.

I hope you are not a borderline slowpoke. Money can not absolve anybody who makes the amount you quoted and still shaky about Igbo traditional wedding of riffraff. Believe you me, a millionaire could be dumb a$$. In Igboland, knowledge is paramount when discussing of wealth. The dude is earning almost 50, 0000 naira and yet could not approach the would-be in-laws for a serious discussion of marital rites.

@idiopathic
and if u enclose 1000 in the envelopes, it will be 80 000 when added to 330 000 becomes just about 410 000 how much is seaman's?,

If really ur aim in the tread is to fuel ur thoughts that yea igbo marriages are off the hook in price then here let me help you, THEY ARE!!!! if ur not up to 12 ft tall while standing on ur wallet, please STAY HOME (full stop)

But if your aim is to find out the truth, then be realistic, start by telling us the truth, what side (LGA) in the igbo community demanded that? am sure there is some one is this forum who will be from that area and can help out.

the diff, is while some community claim not to demand soo much, the deco and the mat provided for the wedding alone will cost up to 500 000, so why not use that same 500 000 and better the lot of some one,

Dont forget, that ur so called 5 000 per envelope may find some one for a week, those it wont feed, wont even take it from u, if they do, they give u back 10 000 as ur wedding gift,

Yea thats true, long one but,
i havent heard you say the igbos perform "idu uno" where they help u equip ur house, anyone know about it?

pass ur comment pls

o9999,
Thanks for your comments and suggestions.
My fianceeée is from Nnewi South. Is N1000=00 naira really enough to enclose in envelopes considering the cost of things in Nigeria? I really don’t want to be embarrassed by my prospective inlaws.

I still have to buy 51 bottles of wine, 14 pieces of clothing. (cost yet to be determined)
I have not been given details of the bride price (dowry) as yet?

From my own conConservativetmate, i presume the traditional wedding alone will cost close to N1 million naira. By the time i add the registry and church wedding expenses, it may be appapproaching 2 (two) million naira.

This was the point i was trying to make to Romeo and Dede before they become abusive. Is this type of expenditure still warranted in the present day Nigeria. There are young boys and girls in my village in need of sponsorship for their education. I have relations who are widowed with no form of support.

I will feel uncomfortable supporting a tradition that puts our brothers undue pressure, some waiting till their late 30's and 40's before tying the knot.

It is not a case of whether i can afford it, i simply have a principled objection to these type of retrogressive traditions. Those of us who have been opportuned to be educated and travelled out are in a better position to fight these elders who use tradition to blackmail us.

What upsets me is the way the community ostracises those unable to meet these obligations. I know of a lady in my village who was very poor and her son in-law could not afford these rituals. Till date (over 5 years ago), she is like a second class citizen in the village. She is not allowed to make any comment in the local women's meeting and she is always excluded whenever anything is being shared. She was even banned from attending weddings in the village. What is her sin? Her daughter got married to a poor man who could not afford the traditional rites.

I have a cousin who is unemployed because of a mental health problem. He is the only child and unfortunately, he could not kill a goat for the villagers when his Dad died. Do you know that he was banned from attending other burial ceremonies in his community. No one considered his special circumstances.

I can remember growing up in the villages and witnessing how widows and other very poor women in the village including my poor late grandmother were selling their possessions including farm produce and even land in order to pay town and church dues, bury their loved ones, pay bride price etc. They lived in fear of outracisation, as it was a closely knit community.

In 2009, should we still be marginalising and discriminating against our fellow citizens on account of their financial state?

idiopathic,

I am 110% in support of your views on this issue of retrogressive, material-centric, insensitive, and backward aspects of our culture. We should not allow those so-called "elders", many of them common criminals who have participated in raping Nigeria's wealth, to tell us how to spend our hard-earned money, simply because we are getting married.

If I were you, I'll put a budget on the entire spending and stick to it. All those lists were not made by any god but by men! Fell free to trim those lists and cut out the "pork"! If you show your intention of spending within your budget and they adamantly refuse, you can scale down the whole thing, marry your babe and move on. If, unfortunately, your babe takes the side of those "greedy elders", just leave her alone and move on! Women plenty! You'll definitely get a better woman who'll be overjoyed to marry you.

I encourage you to act firmly and decisively on this matter.

RichyBlacK:

idiopathic,

I am 110% in support of your views on this issue of retrogressive, material-centric, insensitive, and backward aspects of our culture. We should not allow those so-called "elders", many of them common criminals who have participated in raping Nigeria's wealth, to tell us how to spend our hard-earned money, simply because we are getting married.

If I were you, I'll put a budget on the entire spending and stick to it. All those lists were not made by any god but by men! Fell free to trim those lists and cut out the "pork"! If you show your intention of spending within your budget and they adamantly refuse, you can scale down the whole thing, marry your babe and move on. If, unfortunately, your babe takes the side of those "greedy elders", just leave her alone and move on! Women plenty! You'll definitely get a better woman who'll be overjoyed to marry you.

I encourage you to act firmly and decisively on this matter.

You can only give such advice if you did a similar thing, until then "callate amigo".

idiopathic:

o9999,
Thanks for your comments and suggestions.
My fianceeée is from Nnewi South. Is N1000=00 naira really enough to enclose in envelopes considering the cost of things in Nigeria? I really don’t want to be embarrassed by my prospective inlaws.

I still have to buy 51 bottles of wine, 14 pieces of clothing. (cost yet to be determined)
I have not been given details of the bride price (dowry) as yet?

From my own conConservativetmate, i presume the traditional wedding alone will cost close to N1 million naira. By the time i add the registry and church wedding expenses, it may be appapproaching 2 (two) million naira.

This was the point i was trying to make to Romeo and Dede before they become abusive. Is this type of expenditure still warranted in the present day Nigeria. There are young boys and girls in my village in need of sponsorship for their education. I have relations who are widowed with no form of support.

I will feel uncomfortable supporting a tradition that puts our brothers undue pressure, some waiting till their late 30's and 40's before tying the knot.

It is not a case of whether i can afford it, i simply have a principled objection to these type of retrogressive traditions. Those of us who have been opportuned to be educated and travelled out are in a better position to fight these elders who use tradition to blackmail us.

Asking for advice is another thing but making wild allegations against Igbo boys is another thing entirely.

1000 naira is a big amount to put in envelope, considering what you'll get as "idu uno" on your wedding day. Besides weddings (traditional & white weddings) are done the same day lately as a money saving scheme. Same food and drinks and same venue. I don't know where you're from but i can deduce from your posts that they are very "bush" in handling communal issues. Ostracizing people for not providing goat and Co.

How much are your in-laws going to inject on your wedding day? My part of Igboland has quota for the in-laws on wedding days as regards food and refreshments.

You called our boys criminals because you found yourself cornered financially in your marital quest.

idiopathic:

o9999,
Thanks for your comments and suggestions.
My fianceeée is from Nnewi South. Is N1000=00 naira really enough to enclose in envelopes considering the cost of things in Nigeria? I really don’t want to be embarrassed by my prospective inlaws.

I still have to buy 51 bottles of wine, 14 pieces of clothing. (cost yet to be determined)
I have not been given details of the bride price (dowry) as yet?

From my own conConservativetmate, i presume the traditional wedding alone will cost close to N1 million naira. By the time i add the registry and church wedding expenses, it may be appapproaching 2 (two) million naira.

This was the point i was trying to make to Romeo and Dede before they become abusive. Is this type of expenditure still warranted in the present day Nigeria. There are young boys and girls in my village in need of sponsorship for their education. I have relations who are widowed with no form of support.

I will feel uncomfortable supporting a tradition that puts our brothers undue pressure, some waiting till their late 30's and 40's before tying the knot.

It is not a case of whether i can afford it, i simply have a principled objection to these type of retrogressive traditions. Those of us who have been opportuned to be educated and travelled out are in a better position to fight these elders who use tradition to blackmail us.

This is where I get twisted out of form when people conveniently injected education into culture. I had a very good formal European education and travelled wide but there were no instances of these endeavors that taught me the culture of Igboland or even the culture of Europeans. While I had been breast fed on the Igbland culture and tradition, I must admit that I have only observed other people’s culture.

You have to make a choice of marrying a girl from Igboland with the fine accolade of strong family values and respect to the institution of marriage that had strongly discouraged divorce or marry European, American, Asian or African girl from the ethnic group that dash its girls away.

We can not fold our hands and watch individuals with myopic view of Igboland culture and tradition to trash them because they have issues in coming up with marital rites.

Dede1:



This is where I get twisted out of form when people conveniently injected education into culture. I had a very good formal European education and travelled wide but there were no instances of these endeavors that taught me the culture of Igboland or even the culture of Europeans. While I had been breast fed on the Igbland culture and tradition, I must admit that I have only observed other people’s culture.

You have to make a choice of marrying a girl from Igboland with the fine accolade of strong family values and respect to the institution of marriage that had strongly discouraged divorce or marry European, American, Asian or African girl from the ethnic group that dash its girls away.

We can not fold our hands and watch individuals with myopic view of Igboland culture and tradition to trash them because they have issues in coming up with marital rites.

Thank you my brother

the list u describe is only given to those that parade themselves to the villagers as though they own all the bridges in lagos
, (the list sef suit them, make them spread the riches around jaree, (how u lay ur bed, u shall lie on it))

NOBODY and i repeat NOBODY can Ostracize another for not performing one rite or the other. the only thing they can do is prevent u from taking step 2 if step 1 is not yet done, even if na dumboro them de tell, (not to talk of telling it to those village people wey get mouth pass anything, wey fit tell u ur grand papa history) NA LIE JOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Again, u are counting court and church wedding,
AS far as IGBO tradition is concerned, after paying the bride price, you are MARRIED,

the court and church, na person wey send u message u go go collect money from. there does not have to be a reception after the court marriage,, secondly, if u are crying of money, why not do marriage blessing and go and sleep.

meanwhile, i have still not heard u pass a comment on what your in-laws will give to u as part of "idu uno" can u place a monetary value to it so we can subtract and know how much u are really spending, (ha!)

my question still remains
", are there no igbo girls from nnewi south married to teachers, okada riders, traders, drivers??"
if yes, then please go meet then and ask then how they did it cos obviously, its not same list u are using that they are,

in simple terms, igbo marriages na how u present urself, u think say to call u american bobo na for free (oti mkpu de chop o!). it can be as cheap as 100, 000 or as expensive as 100, 000, 000 ALL NA YA POCKET!

if u serious say u wan marry, make ur papa go collect list on ur behalf,
imbesile no de marry

As someone earlier said, Traditional marriage and wedding are being done the same day now either to safe time and energy but also to save money for both the rich and the poor. So I will advise you to put this into consideration. As it is being done is that you do your white wedding in da morning say at 10 am and by the time its done, everyone heads to the house of the bride where traditional marriage will be held and reception of the wedding. That is to say, as the traditional things are being done, people are eating and drinking. Most of the wedding/traditional marriages I went to this past xmas was done this way including my own cuzzin’s own.

I wonder where in particular in Nnewi south ur wife 2 be is from,

Besides, u can talk 2 ur in-laws if it is not possible for you as in itz negoitable

Besides, ur in-law have a share in the expenses. I cant remember which one, either the wedding expensives or the trad. one

i have said it in this forum b4, and i say it again, for all those who complain that igbo weddings are expensive, listen to this . . . . "igbo girls are not for sale" . . .

there are many poor igbo men and they still get married. are u telling me that no poor igbo man is married to an igbo woman? when ur in-laws to be ask u to bring money, they first weigh your ability vis-a-vis their own family's status. if they think you can afford $4000,00 they may ask you to spend such an amount on bla bla bla for the wedding. if you bring it, it is a testimony of how much u value their daughter. . if the weigh you and u have nothing they wont bother you with millions. . .

and, after spendoing the millions on the wedding . . . it doesn mean their child is gone, their child is still their child. she is not for sale. she has been given to you to take care of and if u dont, they have their child back . . . . . dont ask for change

IGBO MARRIAGE AND CUSTOMS IS A SYMBOL OF OUR CULTURE,TIMELESS AND ENDURING, BUT VARIES FROM STATE TO STATE ,VILLAGE TO VILLAGE, AND EVEN FAMILY TO FAMILY .PRAY U MARRY FROM A MORALLY RESPONSIBLE FAMILY WHO HAS SEEN IT ALL ,RICHES AND POVERTY AND ABOVE ALL HAVE REAL LOVE BETWEEN THEM AND FOR THE BRIDE IN QUESTION.YOU WILL SEE THE DIFFERENCE. BUT ABOVE ALL MARRY A WOMAN WHO REALLY LOVES YOU AND SEE THE MAGIC.

i mavel at the dept of  misunderstanding and over estimation of the igbo wedding tradition,  in 2 months  i will be getting married traditionally to my love, i would say i´m quite fortunate to be in the situation i find myself , i used to work for one of the old generation banks until 2005,when i decided to get married, then i lost my job, but my inlaws understood my situation, i went ahead and paid my bride price,and suspended every other thing, i had to kake the hard decision of leaving the country to europe,now its exactly 38 months since i left naija, and i´m returning to finish off where i stopped, but because i know that i have a woman who wants me and a family whos interest is just to get  everything overwith ,and not minding  my dictating  what  i have to spend.
i hve been told that i have to bring to them 4 cartons of bear ,4 kegs of palm wine,4 crates of soft drinks,and some gift for the mother, plus food to be cooked for the selectec number of people to attend ,according to the reviewed costitution of my village which is also hers a specified number of people a selectd to represent each clan ,its left to you to call an open party if u think u have arrived .now  everything here seems moderate but some guys would go ahead and triple what have been demanded of them all in the name to show they have it all or to show the worth of  the bride to them ,´´IGBO BU IGB
,it is said, that there is something u take away from meat to be able to eat it and ,as our elders would say (he who gathers firewood in dry season should not complain when lizards come feasting) i love and cherish my woman and she knows it, i do not need to proof it to nobody except her and my God , i come from ABATETE, IN IDEMILI NORTH,LG . OF ANAMBRA STATE, LETS BE HONEST WITH OUR SELF MARRY CLOSER TO UR HOME ,BELEIVE ME IT WILL BE A LOT EASIER. FOR YOU. ;TO MANTAIN