idiopathic:

o9999,
Thanks for your comments and suggestions.
My fianceeée is from Nnewi South. Is N1000=00 naira really enough to enclose in envelopes considering the cost of things in Nigeria? I really don’t want to be embarrassed by my prospective inlaws.

I still have to buy 51 bottles of wine, 14 pieces of clothing. (cost yet to be determined)
I have not been given details of the bride price (dowry) as yet?

From my own conConservativetmate, i presume the traditional wedding alone will cost close to N1 million naira. By the time i add the registry and church wedding expenses, it may be appapproaching 2 (two) million naira.

This was the point i was trying to make to Romeo and Dede before they become abusive. Is this type of expenditure still warranted in the present day Nigeria. There are young boys and girls in my village in need of sponsorship for their education. I have relations who are widowed with no form of support.

I will feel uncomfortable supporting a tradition that puts our brothers undue pressure, some waiting till their late 30's and 40's before tying the knot.

It is not a case of whether i can afford it, i simply have a principled objection to these type of retrogressive traditions. Those of us who have been opportuned to be educated and travelled out are in a better position to fight these elders who use tradition to blackmail us.

You're lying your arse out! Anambrarians don't ask for that much for traditional marriage rites.
This is sheer exaggeration.
if you had mentioned some parts of Imo state like mbano,mbaise,orlu etc, i would have agreed with you.
If they listed these things for you, then it clearly shows they don't want you to marry their daughter.
So instead of saying no, they prefer to use the marriage dues to scare you away.
They might feel you're not capable enough to take care of their daughter. No Igbo would like to see their daughter suffer, all in the name of marriage.
And since you're not an Igbo man,its even more difficult. they don't know much about you.
Finally, first impression matters a lot. Your dressing, the people you came with and the way you address your self. If you dressed like a cargo on your first visit to them or came with a bunch of cargoes, then you had it coming.
Whats left for you to do is to negotiate and pray they change their minds.
Best of luck!

Just a line to say, you are your father's son. Your writing on the ibo traditional wedding and your use of words confirm that being abroad doesn't make one less known of his culture. I also like the way you apple ibo proverbs on your writing.

would you mind telling me more about you. I'm from Nnewi myself and lives in England.

Cheers

Just a line to say, you are your father's son. Your writing on the ibo traditional wedding and your use of words confirm that being abroad doesn't make one less known of his culture. I also like the way you apple ibo proverbs on your writing.

would you mind telling me more about you. I'm from Nnewi myself and lives in England.

Cheers

obijudd:

i mavel at the dept of misunderstanding and over estimation of the igbo wedding tradition, in 2 months i will be getting married traditionally to my love, i would say i´m quite fortunate to be in the situation i find myself , i used to work for one of the old generation banks until 2005,when i decided to get married, then i lost my job, but my inlaws understood my situation, i went ahead and paid my bride price,and suspended every other thing, i had to kake the hard decision of leaving the country to europe,now its exactly 38 months since i left naija, and i´m returning to finish off where i stopped, but because i know that i have a woman who wants me and a family whos interest is just to get everything overwith ,and not minding my dictating what i have to spend.
i hve been told that i have to bring to them 4 cartons of bear ,4 kegs of palm wine,4 crates of soft drinks,and some gift for the mother, plus food to be cooked for the selectec number of people to attend ,according to the reviewed costitution of my village which is also hers a specified number of people a selectd to represent each clan ,its left to you to call an open party if u think u have arrived .now everything here seems moderate but some guys would go ahead and triple what have been demanded of them all in the name to show they have it all or to show the worth of the bride to them ,´´IGBO BU IGB
,it is said, that there is something u take away from meat to be able to eat it and ,as our elders would say (he who gathers firewood in dry season should not complain when lizards come feasting) i love and cherish my woman and she knows it, i do not need to proof it to nobody except her and my God , i come from ABATETE, IN IDEMILI NORTH,LG . OF ANAMBRA STATE, LETS BE HONEST WITH OUR SELF MARRY CLOSER TO your HOME ,BELEIVE ME IT WILL BE A LOT EASIER. FOR YOU. ;TO MANTAIN

@ Anyone Who Can Hlp:

Igbo Traditional Marriage - What Are The Steps Involved? Pls Help.

I'm an American woman who's currently dating a Igbo male here in the states & we're looking @ marriage for 10/11.

I'm interested to know who PAYS 4 WHAT ?!?!

What are the Steps Involved?!?!

I've done some research on Google but I just want 2 make sure that what I've seen is accurate. So what better way then 2 get hlp 2 my ques. from my Nigerian bros. and sis.

Thanks Guys

D igbo's like to knw dat der daughter wont suffer after her marriage, hence dey lay emphasis on d ability of d suitor to take care of der daughter. D man is supposed to foot d bills for his impendin marriage bt his to be wife can help out, however, it shouldn't be public knowledge. D cost of marryin an anambra lady isnt so high compared to oda states cz we belive dat our daughters are not to be sold thus, d bride price could be any amount. Usually, d groom's ple haggle nd when d parties agree on an amount, dey give d money to d bride's ple(it is expected dat dey return part of d money to support d fact dat dey dnt sell der daughters) in my l.g a anaocha, d requirements include: goats, yams.wines,. Crates of beer nd mineral, kegs of palmwine,nkwu enu, cow heads,etc or der money equivalent etc 4 d elders, hot drinks, crates of beer nd minerals,cow hip, money 4 d umuadas. Money, goat, fowl,wrapper,etc 4 d brides moda. D list cont 4 d Brides father, grand parents, eldest brothers nd sister's, old ple etc. its however not only d groom dat spends, d brides father, if he is a titled chief, is required to give i tuber of yam and 1 fowl to every titled man that graces d occassion.

Enugu ukwu's traditional requirement is costly o. My uncle who married from there nuru nwi, Among odas, d tins included powder, countless loaves of bread, sardines(4 d young ladies) more than 100 tubers of yam,umbrellas etc. When we got a wife from enugu state, it was expensive too, among others, we were all made to buy cooked eggs, pay money before we entered d arena and also before d elders agreed to come and at d end of d ceremony, it was unbelievable, but dey didnt allow us to go wit our wife until we paid, yet again!

@ gree-die:

So do the same traditions apply when he's marrying a American gyrl?

Does he still foot the entire bill?

@ gree-die:

Yes I'm an AA woman living in America.

I apologize if I seem 2B asking the same ques. over & over again. I just want 2 make sure that I understand completely.

So what i'm hearing is that the male is expected 2 foot the bill(s) for the wedding and I (the bride 2B) can hlp out as long as I dnt disclose this info.?

Am I correct?

Yes, u can help him out. There is no law dat says u shouldnt disclose d fact dat u r helping him out but if u do, d public being what dey are, will look down on d groom, tongues ll wag nd hurtfut things ll be said so, to protect d marriage nd prevent a situation where d man will feel less than a man, it is adviced dat d public should not be privy to d info dat someone assisted d groom in footing d bills,

@ gree-die:


Ok. Got it Now!

Thnks 4 all ur hlp.

You are welcome