This is one massive problem that colonialism has caused.

Culture is dynamic. It is not static. It changes as new knowledge is gained, new situations emerge, etc.

Some people believe that our culture should be stuck at the point that the colonialists met it and that it should not change and adapt. This is not a realistic expectation.

In pre-colonial times our cultures changed as we adapted to changing circumstances. The colonialists interrupted this natural progression/evolution. Some people now believe that any attempt to change and adapt culture is basically an attempt to adopt "foreign cultures". This is not true. Any culture that does not adapt to changing circumstances will be swallowed by more dynamic cultures.

naptu2: This is one massive problem that colonialism has caused.

Culture is dynamic. It is not static. It changes as new knowledge is gained, new situations emerge, etc.

Some people believe that our culture should be stuck at the point that the colonialists met it and that it should not change and adapt. This is not a realistic expectation.

In pre-colonial times our cultures changed as we adapted to changing circumstances. The colonialists interrupted this natural progression/evolution. Some people now believe that any attempt to change and adapt culture is basically an attempt to adopt "foreign cultures". This is not true. Any culture that does not adapt to changing circumstances will be swallowed by more dynamic cultures.

My thoughts exactly. However, I think we're still reeling from our romance with Western ways. I think we haven't quitr caught ourselves yet and are still in a state of cultural confusion feeling like this is an either-or thing.

Like you said, it isn't. It's a question of adaptation. But we need self-appreciation to get there. We need to see our own ways as good enough to blend with Western ways. Something like what the Japanese did.

enyi1: why is this on front page!!!

My brother Ask me.

You said igbo.

The most important factor in a marriage is the payment of dowry. Notice I excluded traditional from my concept, because tradition is a pattern left behind by men, the tradition in reality has no impact on the outcome of the union. The prayers offered are mere wishes, so pay no attention to the bogus term "tradition"

Tradition and culture is what has held Africa captive. The complaints about visiting ancient places where the intending couple have little or no attachment to, are preposterous. How is the ground in Nigeria different from the ground in Vietnam? Marriage is a step into the future and those advocating local traditional weddings are just sentimental.

What matters is you indicate your interest , you pay the dowry and you show the world you are now exclusively in a marital covenant with your spouse. Tradition is a luxury you can choose to include or exclude.

naijathings: now we are talking of those people who do this stuff outside nigeria... yet there are some people who are from the east but do their trad in the west within Nigeria.. you wanna ask them why ??

my elder sister did her trad in lagos at our residence,we are from anambra state..both coulples are from anambra state,y was dat due to the issues of kidnapping in the east

who gave you the right to dictate people's choices? As long as they are legally married, for sure, it's not your biz.

Greatihex: . Y una no dy undastd trend b4 una begin comment. D op said traditional wedding nt white wedding. Dia is ntin wrong in doing white wedding in a foreign land, bt wen u wnt 2 do a traditional wedding, u wl hv 2 obey d rules strictly.

Why u no dey read post before u quote am.

Is it not traditional marriage we are all talking about.? Who mentioned white wedding here

enyi1: why is this on front page!!!

I wonder ooooo

texazzpete:

I think you should mind your business. Marry off your children the way you see fit, but stop judging others.

Maybe someone else with toe your path of not minding your business and open a thread complaining about people opening nairaland threads at 6:15am instead of going to church

* will toe

deadie:


The op has a valid point, and you don't. It is unfortunate that some people (like you) find it ok to degrade our culture but will defend their religious rituals to death. As an instance, people now use Italian wine (my cousin had to because her religious husband believes that drinking palm wine is a sin!) instead of the traditional palm wine. And people like you will probably support it. Will you agree to the use of palm wine for your holy communion? Over your dead body I hear you say.

The point is that it is not compulsory to do a traditional wedding. But if you choose to, then it is proper to do it the right way. It is my business when it involves my culture as I am against its degradation.

How is it 'degrading your culture'? The world moves forward and everything adapts. The traditional marriage is still done in accordance with the culture and customs of the bride's village, no matter where it is held. That is the bottom line, the most important thing to consider.

This is just a non-issue, brought about by you oversabi people. YOU don't get to determine what is the 'right' way.

Times change, and customs change with the times. Do you eat your fufu from clay plates and pots too?

This is what the OP says

These marriages are always performed at the compound of the bride's parents and follow the rules and regulations of the bride's land and end with the long procession of the groom, his new wife, and his people, back to their home

.

Apart from the 'performed at the compound of the bride's parents' every single one of those items on the checklist can easily be done in a traditional wedding held in Europe, for example. So are you clowns (OP, deadie) saying that your culture is severely damaged because the ceremony is not held in the bride's parents house? Just that 'infraction' is enough to make you guys make this whiny post?


PS: Your analogies are brainless. Nobody will use palm wine for holy communion because it doesn't keep as well as bottled 'wine', it has a higher alcohol content among other reasons.

ChiSun27:

* will toe

Yeah, good catch. Wonder how I made that mistake

dheaven: Traditional marriage is the only the form of marriage approved. White weding should be abolished.

Lol! What is this one saying?
Traditional marriage that now has "cakes" introduced in it?
You make me laugh!!!

texazzpete:

Like I said, they have their reasons. You ought to respect that. At least, these days lots of them do it for security reasons...or convenience. As long as it's the father's house, what's the issue if they decide to do it in the family house in Lagos instead of the family house in the village?

The important thing is that the marriage takes place according to the customs of the bride's village. That way, the cultural value is preserved. The location is of much less importance.

Where I come from, if the 'Aju Mmai' has not been dropped in the proper number at the right places, in generations to come, if daughter of the woman who today is married off in the east comes to get married, for any reason back home, they will first conclude teh 'Aju Mmai' process of all the mothers ahead of the present daughter before they commence her own traditional marriage. Essentially, if people want to marry offshore, they had better be sure that all their generations going forward should not come home for any marriage celebrations.

Further, when a child of such a marriage comes home, it is not out of place to hear people poke fun at him/her by asking, where did they drop your mother's 'Aju Mmai'? Such a question simply implies that the mother was never really married.

Where I come from (Arochukwu Kingdom), it is a very big deal. All my cousins that got married abroad, had at some point in time or another come home to complete the marriage proeedings (call it rituals if you like) in the village. I guess we are strongly rooted in matters of this nature and culture for us is sacrosanct.

Now whether the expenditure is justifiable, i am in no position to explain. However, as for those raising issues of security, i believe all Nigerians walking the streets are all dead.

Overseas too far na. How many Igbos in Nigeria still go home to marry esp when the groom is not Igbo? Who get that time and energy to go locate one compound for one koro for one villa for east? You gats to be kidding me.

Phder: 1. Will you pay the $1000+ each that would be spent on transportation by the couple back home?
2. Will you guarantee their safety during the wedding?
3. Will you protect them from the witches and wizards after the wedding?
4. Will you guarantee the safety of their friends that would come for the wedding?
5. Will you hold the plane with your hands and pray against crashing?
Your question is bull..ss.hit. You can get married in US with less than $5k., including the dowry and other important stuff, why waste your yearly savings on traveling to Nigeria, and impressing those who don't really care??

Good analysis that you have here. Me love it. But maybe u don't know that even a traditional marriage needs to meet the provisions of the law, in order to get legal backing.

The Marriage Ǻπϑ Matrimonial Acts provides certain grounds such as parental consent, bride price(or dowry depending on the custom) Ǻπϑ some other things which may include family members Ǻπϑ even traditional rulers 'n' community elders(in some communities).

If they fail to meet any of these grounds, then the marriage will be VOID AB INITIO. This will deprive the parties to the marriage certain rights such as inheritance Ǻπϑ succession.....
In a decided case, I think Bello V Bello (not so sure now), the parties after about 18yrs of CELEBRATiNG their marriage discover that they were infact not married because they celebrated in a place that is not LICESNCED to pronounce people as HuS 'n' WIFE.

In all, I'm only stressing that certain ground be met cause of the legal implication. Of course, there are lots of cases where people who got married abroad were pronounced to have been legally married according to native LAW 'n' CUSTOM.

hardbody:

Where I come from, if the 'Aju Mmai' has not been dropped in the proper number at the right places, in generations to come, if daughter of the woman who today is married off in the east comes to get married, for any reason back home, they will first conclude teh 'Aju Mmai' process of all the mothers ahead of the present daughter before they commence her own traditional marriage. Essentially, if people want to marry offshore, they had better be sure that all their generations going forward should not come home for any marriage celebrations.

Further, when a child of such a marriage comes home, it is not out of place to hear people poke fun at him/her by asking, where did they drop your mother's 'Aju Mmai'? Such a question simply implies that the mother was never really married.

Where I come from (Arochukwu Kingdom), it is a very big deal. All my cousins that got married abroad, had at some point in time or another come home to complete the marriage proeedings (call it rituals if you like) in the village. I guess we are strongly rooted in matters of this nature and culture for us is sacrosanct.

Now whether the expenditure is justifiable, i am in no position to explain. However, as for those raising issues of security, i believe all Nigerians walking the streets are all dead.

Nwanne, o nnaa.

naptu2: This is one massive problem that colonialism has caused.

Culture is dynamic. It is not static. It changes as new knowledge is gained, new situations emerge, etc.

Some people believe that our culture should be stuck at the point that the colonialists met it and that it should not change and adapt. This is not a realistic expectation.

In pre-colonial times our cultures changed as we adapted to changing circumstances. The colonialists interrupted this natural progression/evolution. Some people now believe that any attempt to change and adapt culture is basically an attempt to adopt "foreign cultures". This is not true. Any culture that does not adapt to changing circumstances will be swallowed by more dynamic cultures.

Beautiful!

I though culture evolves according to the people?

During the times of our fathers, was cake or minerals used?

What really is the clinging to non-essentials about?

I guess it's really people abroad that concerns themselves with such issues.

Marry in Italy or Jamaica, it doesn't change the fact that you are a Nigerian from Fiditi village.

We are so hypocritical about this culture jargons that is the new rave on NL.

I hope the Op walks barefoot, uses chewing stick to brush and doesn't watch TV. He should also remember that browsing is NOt part of our culture too afteral, our fore fathers did not.

Our ancestors sat down and formulated the life that will be convenient for them with the limited resources they had and 100 of years later, we are still clinging to some things.

I hope we also know that our culture dictates Kings are buried with heads of community members amongst others...

Let me see us sticking to that

bukatyne:

Beautiful!

I though culture evolves according to the people?

During the times of our fathers, was cake or minerals used?

What really is the clinging to non-essentials about?

I guess it's really people abroad that concerns themselves with such issues.

Marry in Italy or Jamaica, it doesn't change the fact that you are a Nigerian from Fiditi village.

We are so hypocritical about this culture jargons that is the new rave on NL.

I hope the Op walks barefoot, uses chewing stick to brush and doesn't watch TV. He should also remember that browsing is NOt part of our culture too afteral, our fore fathers did not.

Our ancestors sat down and formulated the life that will be convenient for them with the limited resources they had and 100 of years later, we are still clinging to some things.

I hope we also know that our culture dictates Kings are buried with heads of community members amongst others...

Let me see us sticking to that

I've got a story (which actually occurred) that backs up your point. I hope the anti-spam bot doesn't ban me.

A good example of a change in custom and tradition is a case that happened in 1927 in Ekpoma (a part of Ishan) in present day Edo State. There was a custom that if a cow had two calves at the same time, BOTH THE COW AND THE CALVES AUTOMATICALLY BECAME THE PROPERTY OF THE ONOJIE (king) OF THE LAND (no matter who the owner was, or how far the village was from Eguare, the capital of Ishan). Custom added that the Onojie himself had to give the owner of this wonderful cow A PREGNANT WOMAN AND A CASTRATED HE GOAT as a reward for his "good hand". In those days the Onojie had several female slaves and so there were no difficulties in his fulfilling his own part of the custom.


However, in 1927, Ędętalęn of Uwenlenafua, Ekpoma had a cow that gave birth to twin calves. An informant went to tell Akhimien, the Onojie of Ekpoma, of this rare happening. The Onojie at once sent instructions that Ędętalęn should send him the cow with the two calves according to custom. Ędętalęn would do no such thing.

After repeated warnings and threats, the Onojie reported this gross act of challenge to the Enijie Council holden at Ubiaja. The Enijie were furious, so much so that they shifted their meeting right to Ekpoma, a few hundred yards from the insubordinate subject that went by the name Ędętalęn, who they were prepared to deal with in such a way that no one else throughout the length and breadth of Ishan would attempt to undermine their authority again.

Recalcitrant Ędętalęn was summoned to Eguare and in one voice packed with authority, he was first welcomed with a fine of five solid pounds “FOR CALLING THE ONOJIE’S COWS HIS” and told to go home and fetch the cow and two calves, lawful property of Akhimien, Onojie of Ekpoma! Ędętalęn, who was no fool, knew his own side of Ishan Native Laws and Custom and on his knees before the Enijie, he said he was quite prepared to bring the cows to the Onojie, according to the ruling of custom, on the condition that he, the Onojie, gave him a pregnant woman and a castrated he-goat. Obligingly he added that since he and the Onojie were cousins, he was quite willing to forego the castrated he-goat, BUT THE PREGNANT WOMAN, HE MUST HAVE!


All eyes turned to Akhimien who had no castrated he-goat in his possession. More important still was the fact that the only women Akhimien had authority upon were his wives; at that particular time none of them were pregnant and even if they were, he could not exchange his wife and child unborn for cows! (Ędętalęn also knew that the white man was near to protect him and his lawful property).

There was hot air in the Council Chamber! The Enijie went into hasty consultation and came out with a novelty in Ishan laws and custom: they knew that if they allowed this man to get away with the challenge against a custom affecting an Onojie, soon they too would come face to face with greater challenges; Chief Akhimien was asked to give the man £10 in exchange for the cows!

Ędętalęn respectfully stuck to the letter of Ishan laws and custom: it was a pregnant woman with a castrated he-goat or he kept his cows. Ędętalęn won! In this way the custom was changed.



Another example of change in customs and traditions is the case of traditional rulers such as Emirs, Obis and Obas, who are the custodians of the culture, traditions and customs of the people, but who now move about by riding in luxury limousines, rather than on horses, donkeys, camels or being carried by slaves and servants.

naptu2: A good example of a change in custom and tradition is a case that happened in 1927 in Ekpoma (a part of Ishan) in present day Edo State. There was a custom that if a cow had two calves at the same time, BOTH THE COW AND THE CALVES AUTOMATICALLY BECAME THE PROPERTY OF THE ONOJIE (king) OF THE LAND (no matter who the owner was, or how far the village was from Eguare, the capital of Ishan). Custom added that the Onojie himself had to give the owner of this wonderful cow A PREGNANT WOMAN AND A CASTRATED HE GOAT as a reward for his "good hand". In those days the Onojie had several female slaves and so there were no difficulties in his fulfilling his own part of the custom.


However, in 1927, Ędętalęn of Uwenlenafua, Ekpoma had a cow that gave birth to twin calves. An informant went to tell Akhimien, the Onojie of Ekpoma, of this rare happening. The Onojie at once sent instructions that Ędętalęn should send him the cow with the two calves according to custom. Ędętalęn would do no such thing.

After repeated warnings and threats, the Onojie reported this gross act of challenge to the Enijie Council holden at Ubiaja. The Enijie were furious, so much so that they shifted their meeting right to Ekpoma, a few hundred yards from the insubordinate subject that went by the name Ędętalęn, who they were prepared to deal with in such a way that no one else throughout the length and breadth of Ishan would attempt to undermine their authority again.

Recalcitrant Ędętalęn was summoned to Eguare and in one voice packed with authority, he was first welcomed with a fine of five solid pounds “FOR CALLING THE ONOJIE’S COWS HIS” and told to go home and fetch the cow and two calves, lawful property of Akhimien, Onojie of Ekpoma! Ędętalęn, who was no fool, knew his own side of Ishan Native Laws and Custom and on his knees before the Enijie, he said he was quite prepared to bring the cows to the Onojie, according to the ruling of custom, on the condition that he, the Onojie, gave him a pregnant woman and a castrated he-goat. Obligingly he added that since he and the Onojie were cousins, he was quite willing to forego the castrated he-goat, BUT THE PREGNANT WOMAN, HE MUST HAVE!


All eyes turned to Akhimien who had no castrated he-goat in his possession. More important still was the fact that the only women Akhimien had authority upon were his wives; at that particular time none of them were pregnant and even if they were, he could not exchange his wife and child unborn for cows! (Ędętalęn also knew that the white man was near to protect him and his lawful property).

There was hot air in the Council Chamber! The Enijie went into hasty consultation and came out with a novelty in Ishan laws and custom: they knew that if they allowed this man to get away with the challenge against a custom affecting an Onojie, soon they too would come face to face with greater challenges; Chief Akhimien was asked to give the man £10 in exchange for the cows!

Ędętalęn respectfully stuck to the letter of Ishan laws and custom: it was a pregnant woman with a castrated he-goat or he kept his cows. Ędętalęn won! In this way the custom was changed.



Another example of change in customs and traditions is the case of traditional rulers such as Emirs, Obis and Obas, who are the custodians of the culture, traditions and customs of the people, but who now move about by riding in luxury limousines, rather than on horses, donkeys, camels or being carried by slaves and servants.

Lol!

What an interesting story!