Did it ever occur to you that the world may never end? And maybe all the stories of people seeing revelations about the earth standing still is nothing more of a psychotic twist in their medulla oblongata’s.

I personally feel Nostradamus was spiritually drunk to have predicted the world to end 2012. I mean no disrespect to his intellectual competence. Sure he predicted Adolf Hitler and 9/11. But may we just give room to that little possibility that maybe and just maybe the 16th century seer was on the verge of heartbreak when he conjured that prediction or maybe he was drinking our 20th century guilder(since he could see into the future).

Besides, there is no evidence that Nostradamus has correctly predicted everything he set out to predict and anyway who did he think he was? The world cup’s Paul the octopus?

In 2000 was when I hoped the world would end. I remember grabbing all the chocolates I could find before 12a.m because I didn’t want to be flabbergasted by the daunting surprise that there could likely be no chocolates in heaven or hell as the case may have been but not anymore Amen! Few minutes to 12 , I remember squeaking my eyes open hoping to see a chariot of fire drop from the sky like a sci-fi movie but to my surprise nothing happened and when 12 knocked, I first heard a chorused sigh before a jubilation in the church and just between me and you- I thought since no one disappeared, omoh! Na the Armageddon be that. And just like the passions of the Christ movie, I began screaming in an apostolic tone- FORGIVE THEM FATHER, FOR THEY KNOW NOT WHAT THEY DO!

Some leading scientists have said that in 2012, an invisible planet called NIBIRRU would collide with our earth and that’s when the world would end. Seriously? Later they’d say there is no God and still they come up with these Casper the friendly ghost stories??

Anyway, here’s my own prediction about how the world would end:

There is going to be a huge battle between two renowned leaders. Guess who? Olusegun Obasanction and IBBeez.

These two strong warriors are going to battle it out with their metallic pot bellies. The first stomach to burst would cause a titanic explosion that would lead to a massive hurricane. From within the losers belly shall fly corruption tornados and I slept with my daughter- in- law hurricane Katrina’s.

All of a sudden the winner shall transform into a 10 eyed beastly skunk and shall finally release a destructive robust air packed ball of pollute that shall send the entire human race into oblivion.

THE END.

(CD SCREECHING) Now how’s that for a summary of our extinction. Truth is we may be able to predict the weather, prophetically declare and even dream into reality our tomorrow but let’s let the butterfly out of its chrysalis as we brush ourselves with reality- NO ONE KNOWS WHEN THE WORLD GO KPAFUKA!

Peace,
Mike.

Have you lost the audacity to hope, to remain ever fervent in dreaming? Maybe you’ve lost faith in God and the word. If you have, I’d love to share a very short story with you about the power of persistence and the ability to smile amidst the very gloomy haze.

I still am like you, striving to attain a goal that sometimes feels far reaching. I read the story of little Joshua whose mother tried to abort him on three occasions, administering three strong abortion tablets on those occasions and still having little Joshua form on the inside of her. On the day of conception, little Joshua was born like every normal child having his fists clinked tightly. The nurse on opening little Joshua’s fists, found three tablets. Hurriedly rushing to show little Joshua’s mum what she had found, Mrs. Joshua burst into tears as baby Josh softly smiled with his eyes closed.

Maybe the lord guided Joshua or just maybe he chose not to give up amidst the odds. This was a short story I read from a blackberry broadcast and it got me thinking- the race has barely begun and we need to buckle up. Where is our faith?

I began on a quest to finding God. I became discontent with what the Bible had to offer.

“There had to be more” I pondered.

I watched the very touching movie titled “In Pursuit of Happiness” starring Will Smith. This was a true life story documenting the life of Chris Gardener and the big dreams he had for both him and his family but nothing ever seemed to come together. After years of living on the streets with his only son and having been evicted from his home while his wife abandoned him and their child, Chris finally made it to pinnacle of his dreams. Today Chris Gardener is one of the most successful entrepreneurs of our time.

Amidst all the “positive talk and people trying to dissect my destiny” kind of stuff, I always wondered though- what is Gods ultimate intention for creating man and why did he create us knowing in the end, some of us would have to go to hell and some heaven. If I hadn’t known better, I would say God was an author who simply delighted in the creation of fascinating characters and whose plot was more of a thriller.

A pastor once said God created us to praise him because he is a God who delights in praises. And this got me like- uhm! He might as well have created the stones to worship him or even the singing birds but why us? I’m told we are the only beings with souls and when we die our spirits depart to the hereafter. I do not dispute that but I thought the minute I became a believer all these thoughts would suddenly seem to make sense.

I understand though that the power of life and death lies in our hands. With that, it becomes subtly clearer to me now. God has given us choices and it is left to us to choose wisely. Still, I sometimes just wish life was a story book, and a fantasy one at that. I wish the clouds were ice cream and the sand pop corn, I wish God were more visible but wait, if God were more visible, a lot of people would probably try to overthrow him even as Satan intended to. And even if Satan never existed, we still would have the military.

In the end, I learnt that magic is- believing in you and knowing that each of us has more hidden inside us than we have had the chance to explore. I honestly can’t tell you still that I possess the answer to all the questions I rambled on about though but what I can tell you is this- Go to your window: can you touch the oxygen? Can you see the oxygen? That’s just like God! You can’t see him, you can’t touch him but you can feel him. Just because you can’t see something doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.



Peace,

Mike Ogah

O! Aunt Bridget used to be so in love. She had the kind of eyes that could light up a dark inlet. Her flawless yet dark skin left me in awe of such a beautiful creature God had taken his time to create. Aunt Bridget used to be such a beauty. No wonder uncle Friday couldn't resist her flowery charm. For her smile was an antidote to a bruised soul. She was strict and yet had the softest heart any man could hope for.

I hoped she'd meet the perfect guy. One who would cherish her sweet spirit and be willing to cast the clouds from her sky when the days went blue. I remember when HE finally proposed to Aunt Bridget. She was so happy! My other Aunty's carried the bouquet of flowers left at the dinner table and began teaching her how it would feel like walking through the wedding train up to the aisle were their vows would be sync in holy matrimony. That was in the year 1998 in Lagos state. Aunty Bridget was the happiest Bride.

As I sit here going through their wedding pictures, I can't help but painfully reminisce on how beautiful that day was. The bridal train was beautifully colored in orange while the little bride and groom looked cute with their little black and white shoes on(sighs!). That day the heavens gave way to the trumpets that set the two love birds a-sail with a "here comes the bride" anthem. Who would have thought one day I'd sit here writing about 'HOW IT ALL WENT WRONG'.

O! Love, did u have to take something this beautiful and paint it red? For once I had started to believe. I had left my Thomas ways. I WAS A BELIEVER.

I hear uncle Fridays a drunk now and that every night he comes home smelling of alcohol. Some nights he doesn't just go to sleep, but pulls Aunt Bridget's hair from sleep as he beats her black and out. One night he asked his youngest son who is only three to bring a knife from d kitchen while Aunt Bridget struggled to break loose. That night, I heard she ran to a nearby church were she probably wept the night away. As a child I believed this only happened in movies but Little did I know that the Uncle who bought us chocolates as kids would soon become the black arrow in a pawn of white bows.

The story is not over. I'm hoping things would still change but.....you can't hold on to water and even when we love like water, all it does is sip through our finger tips and leaves us with nothing but an ocean of tears.

Aunt Bridget used to be so in love. She had the kind of eyes that could light up a dark inlet. They say the eyes are a window to the soul but When I looked through Aunt Bridget's eyes yesterday all I could see was "Pain". She visited 3weeks back and her eyes were red.

I said "Aunty Bridget, what's wrong? You've been crying abi"

And she said "Aah! Inalegwu its nothing..I think its the water I used this morning to bath, it must have been bad"

And then she smiled politely as my spirit sighed in contempt

In conclusion, this story has no ending. It's one of those daily real life experiences some woman some where else is going through. Maybe because she's been oppressed and suppressed with the inability to speak up. Or maybe she's been told not to leave for the sake of the kids. That's rubbish I must say. You can't make someone love you. You can't make your heart feel something it won't.

Lord! Make me the change I want to see.

(Take a stand against women and child abuse )


Written by Mike Ogah

When I first landed in JSS 1 and my friends asked me if I was still in primary school, I told them that I was in high school. They asked me if I meant secondary school, and I told them yes but that my school was a more classy and fine tuned version of your typical Nigerian school, thus the name HIGH SCHOOL. I always wanted to be American.

I had always been the fictitious kind, and that was why when Senior Thomas Nnongo told me about the headless horse man who came around every year to help JSS 3 students transition into Senior Secondary School (SSS), I panicked in belief. Someone was gonna die this session, I thought to myself.

When Paul came out at Padre Hour in front of the church during testimony time to confess and thank God for delivering him from the "spirit of masturbation," I was vexed. Did that mean I too was possessed? Did the spirit have anything to do with me grabbing my crutch and smooching it with soap every now and then? No, I didn't think so. Twas a personal decision which I enjoyed, I thought to myself.

Then came "Tiko" which had me loosing my fish every time I stepped out of the dining hall. Looking back I wonder why I was such a miser. I could never give you a full biscuit even if I had five in a pack, I'd always break it in tiny bits and distribute.

Mehn High school, sorry secondary school was hard! And if I knew then what I know now, I'd probably make sure I stole peoples biscuits at the school shop or in class from their bags, I mean they were just biscuits after all, not like I was robbing a bank or something. I would have stolen biro's (more often than I did). I mean, I felt guilty for alotta things that I shouldn't have felt guilty for.

They say though that in the end, sin is sin devoid of grades or strata or level or blah blah blah. I'm a christian sha, but kai weighing-in on stealing biscuits and biro's? I find those one's therapeutic for being caged in a 6ft tall fence for three months.

Love was never kind, I practically made love to love letters. These girls were in Airforce Girls and we were in Airforce Boys Military School. I'd get high on the perfume sprayed on the letters and get down low.

So get off your high horse and stop being judgmental, for let he who has never stolen biro or begged(wait, begging is not a sin), be the first to cast the stone.

This might be a work of fiction. I said might, still do not rule out the possibility of it being false though. Lol.

Bye,
Mike Ogah.

Let's steal things the Bible never mentioned. Like Ps 3's, cars and stuff. We won't be able to steal fish or bread because if I remember correctly, Jesus specifically broke bread and two fish. So don't go there!

When we get to heaven for judgment and the angel at the gate tells us to move to the left, let's tell him that Ps 3's or Android phones or biscuits were never mentioned in the Bible.

Would we go to hell if we steal because we're hungry? I don't really know sha, but I think its only plausible if you deduce the meaning of theft and strictly go by what was mentioned in the Holy Book( More like the ten commandments). You couldn't possibly have understood what I just said. I'm still intelligent though, its just that sometimes I don't understand what I write.

Let's kidnap people who we love but won't love us back. Let's threaten them, tie them up in ropes, cage them preferably in the basement and have them shit in a bucket for weeks till they finally agree to admit that they've always been in love with us but it took this shitty encounter for them to finally realize that they love us.

Let's date rich girls with rich dads and make sure every week we tell them how sick our Grandmothers are In the village and how the doctor said the drugs would cost 200k as the situation is critical and the drugs are imported from India.

I'm not saying we should lie, or date people for the wrong reasons. I'm just saying let's be wise. Wisdom is a spiritual concept and we need it!

Let's reduce the way we say Bleep You and say Suck you instead. But a boy shouldn't tell another boy "suck you", it kinda comes off in a weird way, don't you think?

Imagine Dele telling Sadiq "Suck You!" What would come to mind? Exactly.

Let's be miscreants but in a righteous way. Remain blessed, my sanctified criminals.

I don come again,
Mike.

The kiss was going just fine, up until I felt the mucous travel up my gullet to my throat and then her mouth.

THEN WHAT HAPPENED?

"Arrrgh, what was that!? What the Bleep was that!" She pushed me away really hard, coughing 'it' out.

THEN WHAT HAPPENED?

She never used the F word, she was a born again. But it took this singular gross act of mine which was entirely not my fault(I insist)because I had the flu , to break up everything we had going.

THEN WHAT HAPPENED?

One of my friends, Patience, told me she packed her boyfriends puke whenever he vomited, said he was SS.

Why did mine always have to be different? If some other girl was packing her boyfriends puke then why couldn't mine swallow my mucous.

CUT TO THE CHASE. THEN WHAT HAPPENED?

I promised to tell everyone she swallowed my mucous. I didn't see what was there to be ashamed of. I mean we exchanged saliva when we kissed, how was mucous any different?

My twenty seven missed calls and five sms's remained unreturned. So I did what any sane person would do. I went to her Dad(who I was meeting for the very first time), and told him what had transpired between I and his daughter. Told him it all boiled down to the mucous incident.

THEN WHAT HAPPENED?

But he kicked me out. Practically had his 6ft 9inches gate man hold me by the collar and boot me out his gate.

They're all sociopath's, I scratched my head thinking. They don't think straight in this family. All because of Mucous!! Mtchewww, I wouldn't waste any more time on her again. Pycho's.

Bye,
Mike.

The guy is really a great writer. He'll inspire a lot of lives, definitely.

I love this dude's stage performances. And to know dat he's got brain for write-ups. Dis is sooo cool

Micaheal Ogah... one bloke who's got me believing that creativity will one day be the very periquisite for greatness in this country.
He keeps me on my toes you know the "I gotta be as awesome as Michael Ogah"'