Please I need to know if I am living in a fool's world. I've been told severally not to bother myself about a cheating husband because it is very normal men to cheat, but I never seem to be able to bear it when I find out my hubby has been having an extra-marital affair. I have tried to talk myself out of feeling very bad but it has never worked for me. Is expecting total faithfulness from one's hubby too much to ask for? And if it is, I need to know practical ways to get over the feeling of hurt and betrayal. Or better, tips to lock up every feeling inside of me and just relate with him like a roommate whom I just owe some duties.

Errm, I'm hardly qualified to advise you o, cos i'm not married, so I have no idea how it feels for your husband to cheat on you.

I'm just gonna answer your few questions:

1. Cheating is not normal and can never be normal. But we live in a world where nothing is normal anymore.
98% of men cheat! That's the raw truth! It doesn't matter how perfect life seems on nairaland or how perfect everybody seems here, but take a walk around your relevant environment and see for yourself. That guy somewhere you think doesn't cheat hasn't been caught, yet!

2. No, asking for a total faithfulness is not asking for too much. It is not your fault that your hubby cheats, it is his fault!

There are no specific ways to deal with unfaithfulness. However you choose to deal with it hurts so bad!

Women are wired differently! So how are you wired? How strong are you emotionally to swallow that your loving husband cheats? You mustn't deal with this if you don't want to.

So I say you have 2 options; work it out or walk out.

Good luck ma'am.

Despite what most people will tell you (especially on Nairaland) cheating is not normal. It is the absence of self discipline. Married or un-married, it makes no difference. It is simply the absence of self discipline.

I don't know if you noticed signs before you got married that may have pointed to this failing. If there weren't any, know it is not your fault. Even if you were the bit.chiest wife on the plante, it is still no excuse for him to cheat. That doesn't mean you are free to remain a bit.ch. it is your duty to be thhe best wife you can be. That is your duty. Fulfil that. And let your husband fulfil his own duty.

I am a married man. I should know.

I believe that cheating should be forgiven in marriage. When I say cheating I mean like a one off thing. Okay he cheated and he is remorseful. He takes steps to make it right for you. He does not do it again. The marriage can heal. It takes time and it is not easy to forgive but doable. The one I cannot and will never ever understand nor accept is the ones that think that cheating is their birthright. That just like dogs and goats they should just take their penis and stick it in any vagina because they have no self control whatsoever. Don't let anyone tell you that it is okay. It is not.

1. Cheating is VERY NORMAL FOR ALL MEN!!! If they do not cheat with their bodies, THEY SLEEP ONLINE AND SUPER-CHEAT WITH THEIR MINDS!!!!

The "craftiest" ones aka EMOTIONAL-SCAMMERS will even give you ALL USER-IDs and PASSWORDS so they can be jeeerrrking-off behind your moo-moo azzzze while face-booking with others with YOUR WOR-WOR happy face with "GORILLA-TEETH" and all on their profile pages!

Mtcheeeeeeeeeeew!!!!

2. Men are not built to be MONOGAMOUS. They are PHYSICAL BEINGS! Women are EMOTIONAL BEINGS, and are more MONOGAMOUS when they fall in love! The fact that a man cheats on you does not mean he DOES NOT LOVE YOU! It is your reaction to his affairs that would make him stay or leave you. If you NAG him, the other woman wins! If you ignore him, you win!!!

A man that truly loves your azzzze will not make noise about it. If he does, HE IS TRYING TO CONVINCE HIMSELF not you!

Love only shows WITH MORE ACTIONS AND LESS WORDS, like OLIVIA POPE AND FITZ GRANT!!!

3. If you feel betrayed or hurt by your husband wandering pehnis, it means YOU ARE INSECURE. Was it your fault that he decided to default on his matrimonial duties? IF YES, you are guilty as charged! You deserve WHAT you got AND MORE!!!! Serves your azzzzze RRRRRRRIGHT!!!!!!


SOME WOMEN ARE SOOOOOO GOOD AT BEING IRRITANTS in their matrimonial homes! Nothing DRRRRRIVES a man further away from his home than a cantankerous, FISH-WIFE!

If NO, you should NEVER lose sleep over your husband's affair.
You only sit back, DIE ON THE INSIDE ONLY. A man that really loves you KNOWS WHEN AND WHERE YOU ARE HURTING, even when you are FARRRR AWAY FROM HIM!!! If he does not feel your pain, you have lost the MOST IMPORTANT PART OF YOUR SPIRITUAL MATRIMONY! Such a man/woman can KILL you without a pang of guilt!

He has made a choice, LET HIM GO!!!!!

4. This is the part that kills me!

One question for you.
WAS YOUR HUSBAND FAITHFUL TO YOU WHEN YOU WERE DATING? Were YOU totally MONOGAMOUS AND FAITHFUL

OH! You became 'born-agains' after eating the 'forbidden-fruit' huhn?

You both took 'vows' right? When you took those vows, did you REALLLLLLY believe in them? MOST MEN WERE ALREADY CHEATS WHEN THEIR WIVES JUMPED IN WITH THE HELP OF A PREGNANCY-TRAP, PASTORS OR BABALAWOS to claim the gigolo or P.I.M.P as A WINNNG TROPHY!

The men NEVER CARED FOR THEIR AZZZZES IN THE FIRST PLACE!

So why cry when the men are still what THEY WERE when the women DESPERATELY jumped in wide eyes WIDE OPEN?


Finally!
YES! You are asking too much for 100% faithfulness OR commitment from YOUR HUSBAND!!! You are NOT THAT SPECIAL, because OBVIOUSLY, you have NEVER EARNED IT AND NEVER WILL!!!

Tough darling! What DO YOU HAVE TO OFFER A MAN besides opening your hot legs and breeding like a GUINEA-PIG?

Any MANGABEE-MONKEY can do JUST that dear!

WHAT ARE YOU? If you claim to be a wife, START BY EARNING YOUR SELF-RESPECT FIRST!

In conclusion:

Dear OP!
Take us back to the beginning. Did you marry a TuFace IDIBIA?
If no, your husband's affairs have nothing to do with you! He is a free being. YOU HAVE A CHOICE TO STAY OR LEAVE. I am NOT HERE TO SYMPATHIZE WITH YOU! You are NOT a victim. Don't come to NL and play the victim YOU ARE NOT! Leave!!!

If you married a TUFACE of or any of PSQUARE BROTHERS kind of a husband, you need to sit there and rejoice with your trophy husband! You WON THE GOLDEN GOOSE!!

Shut up and LAY MORE EGGS!

*2:30PM! Time for the gym, then off to work*

*All follow-follow topics CLEARED, all cookies cleared*

Kanwulia: In conclusion:

Dear OP!
Take us back to the beginning. Did you marry a TuFace IDIBIA?
If no, your husband's affairs have nothing to do with you! He is a free being. YOU HAVE A CHOICE TO STAY OR LEAVE. I am NOT HERE TO SYMPATHIZE WITH YOU! You are NOT a victim. Don't come to NL and play the victim YOU ARE NOT! Leave!!!

If you married a TUFACE of or any of PSQUARE BROTHERS kind of a husband, you need to sit there and rejoice with your trophy husband! You WON THE GOLDEN GOOSE!!

Shut up and LAY MORE EGGS!

*2:30PM! Time for the gym, then off to work*

*All follow-follow topics CLEARED, all cookies cleared*

lwkmd you this kanwulia,you are too brutal.haba




this is ember month baby! Show some love

Seriously if we are to accept reality not what we want to believe, then i will say with a great amount of confidence that most men have cheated or will cheat on their spouse. . . .Women age over time, lose their attractiveness and that plays a major role. Men are biologically programmed to feel attracted to females whose youth and physical beauty imply fertility, because men are biologically programmed to spread and perpetuate their genes. Some don't want to feel that way, but they do because that's how nature made them, and one does not simply flip a switch in one's mind and "get over" this programming that is why men all over the world always cheat on their wives. . .Even the men who nobody will ever think they cheat on their wives do so, believe me. . .I have seen it happen many times. . .Women will never understand it. . .But that's just what it is. . .Men visual creatures thus their attention span doesn't last that long. Once their wives start losing the figure she had after popping out his kids...The average male gets disinterested in her. Some stay loyal to their wives even though they're not attracted to them anymore while others cheat.

EDITED

Kanwulia, I'm loving these posts of urs!
Highly insightful!

One of the biggest lies of the century is d happily ever fantasies.when it wears off, we r faced with d ugly realities of life.
Most times we simply chose to ignore hoping that changes might miraculously occur.
When my mum was giving me tips on how to hv a lasting and happy marriage, one thing was very clear; never ever think that ur happiness revolves around ur hubby or children. Every other thing revolves around this.
It makes marriage easier and less stressful.

@topic,
There r a lot of things to worry about than a wandering blokos!
Take a holiday, spoil urself raw, cruise life.
If u hv children, find a nanny to stay with them and take a trip. Care less outwardly and for crying out loud be happy!

Easier said than done.

This is why POLYGAMY is the solution to cheating husband.

It depends on the kind of man you are married to. If you get married to a 'pig' cheating looks normal to him.
If men are polygamous in nature then women
are polyandrous in nature too.

Real men don't cheat.
A good wife deserves a faithful husband.

It's very normal for men. People keep saying men cheat but they don't know to what degree. I thought the whole cheating by men was exxagerated until i started hanging out with men without their wives and their flirtatious disposition was off the hook. It's funny that some women think their husbands are not like other men just because they've never caught them. Based on my experience, i can say that the men who don't cheat are in the minority.

Yes it is hahahahaha

Cheating is normal... I enjoy it.. I mean every man has this natural urge to explore and be with different women... Sticking to only one lady is about the most difficult thing there is... It takes an unusual and unnatural amount of discipline to do so...
Marriage has made it worse... Who says we must all marry sef..

Cheating is an embedded element in every man! Biologically, a single woman can not satisfy a man, it only takes a descipline man to stick to his woman, but again, how many of those descipline men do we have around? So it's natural.

Cheating should not be normal for men.

A good husband should have self control likewise the wife .

ITI?

*speechless*

Lee Herds: ITI?

meaning?
Smh for u.

njokusboy: Cheating is normal... I enjoy it.. I mean every man has this natural urge to explore and be with different women... Sticking to only one lady is about the most difficult thing there is... It takes an unusual and unnatural amount of discipline to do so...
Marriage has made it worse... Who says we must all marry sef..

U dis man..... u enjoy it does not make it right. how will u feel if ur wife did d cheating..

and if u gonna do so.. dont get caught...

Kanwulia: 1. Cheating is VERY NORMAL FOR ALL MEN!!! If they do not cheat with their bodies, THEY SLEEP ONLINE AND SUPER-CHEAT WITH THEIR MINDS!!!!

The "craftiest" ones aka EMOTIONAL-SCAMMERS will even give you ALL USER-IDs and PASSWORDS so they can be jeeerrrking-off behind your moo-moo azzzze while face-booking with others with YOUR WOR-WOR happy face with "GORILLA-TEETH" and all on their profile pages!

Mtcheeeeeeeeeeew!!!!

You sound hurt and silly.

Real men don't cheat, they get what they want. Insecure women call it cheating...

Just kidding o!
If you respect your woman's wishes, you do whatever you can to make her happy. That should be the norm.

Whether i contribute or not que sera sera , bt on a serious note cheating is something married couples and singles should be ashame of, if they find their selves indulging in it .

telling a guy not to cheat is like takin away his Dick

Cheating is common among men nd women,it just depends on how smart d man or woman is.

In a way, YES
Males were built to be wanders, spreading their genes thru different women, but soomething/someone happened in our past and he/she/thing thought it was a good idea to settle with only one woman
Cheating is a way for men to satisfy their natural urges especially if the current woman isn't doing it right or has become boring


So @op, are you doing it right or have you become boring

I trust my G. Hezz not d cheating type.

give him some time... and keep praying....
he will change.