AFRICAN PROVERBS
THAT WILL CRACK YOUR
RIBS
1. When a man is stung
by a bee, he
does not destroy all
beehives (Kenya)
2. The man who marries
a beautiful
woman, and the farmer
who grows corn by the
roadside have the same
problem (Ethiopia)
3. A short man is not a
boy (Nigeria)
4. No matter how hot
your anger is, it cannot
cook yams (Nigeria)
5. It requires a lot of
carefullness to
kill the fly that perches
on the scrotum (Ghana)
6. If the throat can
grant passage to
a knife, the anus should
wonder how to expel it
(Seychelles)
7. The frown on the
face of the goat
will not stop it from
being taken to the
market (Nigeria) 8. An
old lady feels uneasy
when dry
bones are mentioned in
a proverb (Ghana)
9. The same sun that
melts the wax,
hardens the clay (Niger)
10. If you don't know
where you are
going, any road will take
you there (Uganda)
11. There is no virgin in a
maternity
ward (Cameroon)
12. A child can play with
its mother's
breasts, but not its
father's testicles
(Guinea)
13. He who goes to
sleep with an
itching anus wakes up
with smelly fingers
(Nigeria)
ADD URS AND WHICH
ONE IS YOUR
FAVOURITE?

Like www.facebook.com/4Qakpors for more jokes

Akpos went to the
police to report about
his
lost bicycle.
AKPOS: My new bicycle
has been stolen.
POLICE: When did u
notice?
AKPOS: This morning
POLICE: Do you have a
suspect?
AKPOS: Yes,my mum
and dad.
POLICE: why do u
suspect them?
AKPOS: yesterday at
midnight i heard mum
say make
it stand well so I can
seat on it very well
''and
dad
said ''climb up fast
before it falls .and mum
said
''push slowly slowly
dont hurt me.......police
hahaha o
boy na senior bicycle be
that oooo

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www.facebook.com/4Qakpors/154298284754070

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Akpors commedy on www.facebook.com

Akpors fell into a well
and he
was screaming for help.
His wife Ekaete came
with a
rope to help:
AKPORS: How much did
you
buythe rope?
EKAETTE: NGN 1000.
AKPORS(Still inside the
well
about to drown,
shouted):
What! Return it now
now, go
to papa Ochuko at the
fourth
street he sells it
for NGN 250.
Hurry up before I die
here
oh!

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Akpors' father
accompanied him
to his school end of the
year
award party.
As they sat watching
and amidst
great shouts and loud
ovations,
the beneficiaries were
called to
the podium for their
award
presentation.
The following
conversation
ensued:
Announcer: Best
student in
sciences, the winner is
Inem.
Father: (Applause and
eyes Akpors
scornfully) see correct
children!
Announcer: Best
student in
commercial studies, the
winner is
Ajoke.
Father: (Hisses and
eyes Akpors)
see correct children.
Announcer: Best
student in Arts
and the winner is Helen.
Father: (fuming with
anger) See
correct children!!.
And so, all the awards
were
presented without any
going to
Akpors.
At the end of the
event, they left
and went to the car
park but as
his dad made to start
the car, the
engine refused to
respond.
He opened the bonnet
and
touched a few things
but all to no
avail.
Then they resorted to
pushing
and just as they got to
the exit of
the school the rickety
car parked
up.
Exhausted and
profusely
sweating, Akpors
rested on the
gate just as his mates
were
driving off with their
parents in
Hummer jeep, Sequia,
Infinity,
Escalade, Bentley,
Lincoln Nav and
other exotic cars.
All of a sudden, Akpors
burst into
laughter.
His puzzled father
asked,'what's
so funny?'
Amidst teary eyes
Akpors
responded 'SEE CORRECT
FATHERS!'.
www.facebook.com/4Qakpors

Akpos IN COURT
Judge: now then,please tell me
what are the charges against
you ??.
Akpos: i was caught shopping
very early ...
Judge: That doesnt seem like an
offence to me..what do you mean
by "very early"??
Akpos: Well your Honour , it was
before the shop was open..

describe Akpors

More Akpors Jokes: www.rosyside.com/discussion.htm

ALPHABET...
A= ka, B=tu, C=mi,
D= te, E=ku, F=lu, G=
ji, H= ri, I=ki, J=zu,
K= me,L= ta, M= rin,
N= to, O= mo, P=
no, Q= ke, R= shi, S=
ari, T = chi, U= do,
V=ru, W=mei, X= na,
Y= fu, Z= zi. Send
your name in
Japanese
Alphabet...have
some laff=D.

www.facebook.com/4Qakpors ;DALPHABET...
A= ka, B=tu, C=mi,
D= te, E=ku, F=lu, G=
ji, H= ri, I=ki, J=zu,
K= me,L= ta, M= rin,
N= to, O= mo, P=
no, Q= ke, R= shi, S=
ari, T = chi, U= do,
V=ru, W=mei, X= na,
Y= fu, Z= zi. Send
your name in
Japanese
Alphabet...have
some laff=D.

www.facebook.com/4Qakpors

AKPOS RIDDLE THAT'LL
KILL YOUR BRAIN!
This is going to make
you so MAD! There are
three words
in the English language
that end in "gry". ONE is
angry
and the other is hungry.
Everyone knows what
the third
ONE means and what it
stands for. Everyone
uses them
every day, and if you
listened very carefully,
I've given
you the third word.
What is it? _______gry?

A fat man saw
advertisement
"lose 5kg in a week".
He called & said I
would like to
join!
The lady in charge
said to him
Lady: Ok!
Be ready tomorrow
at
6am.
Next morning, the
fat man gets to the
office and he was
taken to
a room.
He opens the door &
finds a hot
babe with shoes,
underpants &
shirt saying,
"If u catch me u can
sleep with
me!" and the girl
starts
running.
The Man starts
running after her
but
couldn't catch her.
So, during the whole
week
exercise, he tried to
catch her
but
couldn't & lost 5kg.
He then asks for
the 10kg
program.
Next morning at
6am, he opens
the door & saw
even
hotter babe in
bikini saying if u
catch me u can
sleep wit me.
Still he couldn't
catch her.
He lost 10kg that
week.
So, he thought this
program is
awesome!
Lets try 25kg
program.
The lady in charge
said "are you sure?
Its
really tough!!"
"Why not" said the
fat man
Next day at 6am he
opens the
door expecting to
see a
Unclad babe
but finds a Unclad
mad man
saying,
"If I catch u, I will
sleep with u!!"
On seeing this
The man
run
Run
Run
Run
Run
Run
Run
Run
Run
Run
Run
Run
Run
Run
Run
Run
Run
Run
Run
Run and run........
That week, he lost
40kg

Nice jokes bro, kip it up

Shegs vicky: AKPOS RIDDLE THAT'LL
KILL YOUR BRAIN!
This is going to make
you so MAD! There are
three words
in the English language
that end in "gry". ONE is
angry
and the other is hungry.
Everyone knows what
the third
ONE means and what it
stands for. Everyone
uses them
every day, and if you
listened very carefully,
I've given
you the third word.
What is it? _______gry?

Badagry

A woman came
out of her house and
saw 3 old men with
long white beards
sitting in her front yard.
She did not recognise
them. She said 'I don't
think I know you, but
you must be hungry.
Please come in and have
something to eat.' 'Is
the man of the house
home?', they asked.
'No', she replied. 'He's
out.' 'Then we cannot
come in', they replied. In
the evening when
her husband came
home, she told him
what
had happened. 'Go tell
them I am home and
invite them in!' The
woman went out and
invited the men in' 'We
do not go into a
House together,' they
replied.. 'Why is that?'
she asked. One of the
old men explained: 'His
name is Wealth,' he said
pointing to one of
his friends, and said
pointing to another one,
'He is Success, and I am
Love.' Then he added,
'Now go in and discuss
with your husband
which one of us you
want in your home.'The
woman went in and told
her husband what
was said. Her husband
was overjoyed.. 'How
nice!!', he said. 'Since
that is the case, let us
invite Wealth. Let him
come and fill our home
with wealth!' His wife
disagreed. 'My dear,
why don't we invite
Success?' Their
daughter-
in-law was listening
from the other corner
of the house. She
jumped in with her own
suggestion: 'Would it not
be better to invite
Love? Our home will
then be filled with love!'
'Let us heed our
daughter-in- law's
advice,'
said the husband to his
wife. 'Go out and
invite Love to be our
guest.' The woman
went
out and asked the 3 old
men, 'Which one of
you is Love? Please
come in and be our
guest.'
Love got up and started
walking toward the
house.. The other 2 also
got up and followed
him..Surprised, the lady
asked Wealth and
Success: 'I only invited
Love, Why are you
coming in?' The old men
replied together: 'If
you had invited Wealth
or Success, the other
two of us would've
stayed out, but since
you
invited Love, wherever
He goes, we go with
him. Wherever there is
Love, there is also
Wealth and Success!!!!!!'
MY WISH FOR YOU... -
Where there is pain, I
wish you peace and
mercy. -Where there is
self-doubting, I wish
you a renewed
confidence in your ability
to
work through it. -Where
there is tiredness, or
exhaustion, I wish you
understanding,
patience, and renewed
strength. -Where there
is fear, I wish you love,
and courage.. A woman came
out of her house and
saw 3 old men with
long white beards
sitting in her front yard.
She did not recognise
them. She said 'I don't
think I know you, but
you must be hungry.
Please come in and have
something to eat.' 'Is
the man of the house
home?', they asked.
'No', she replied. 'He's
out.' 'Then we cannot
come in', they replied. In
the evening when
her husband came
home, she told him
what
had happened. 'Go tell
them I am home and
invite them in!' The
woman went out and
invited the men in' 'We
do not go into a
House together,' they
replied.. 'Why is that?'
she asked. One of the
old men explained: 'His
name is Wealth,' he said
pointing to one of
his friends, and said
pointing to another one,
'He is Success, and I am
Love.' Then he added,
'Now go in and discuss
with your husband
which one of us you
want in your home.'The
woman went in and told
her husband what
was said. Her husband
was overjoyed.. 'How
nice!!', he said. 'Since
that is the case, let us
invite Wealth. Let him
come and fill our home
with wealth!' His wife
disagreed. 'My dear,
why don't we invite
Success?' Their
daughter-
in-law was listening
from the other corner
of the house. She
jumped in with her own
suggestion: 'Would it not
be better to invite
Love? Our home will
then be filled with love!'
'Let us heed our
daughter-in- law's
advice,'
said the husband to his
wife. 'Go out and
invite Love to be our
guest.' The woman
went
out and asked the 3 old
men, 'Which one of
you is Love? Please
come in and be our
guest.'
Love got up and started
walking toward the
house.. The other 2 also
got up and followed
him..Surprised, the lady
asked Wealth and
Success: 'I only invited
Love, Why are you
coming in?' The old men
replied together: 'If
you had invited Wealth
or Success, the other
two of us would've
stayed out, but since
you
invited Love, wherever
He goes, we go with
him. Wherever there is
Love, there is also
Wealth and Success!!!!!!'
MY WISH FOR YOU... -
Where there is pain, I
wish you peace and
mercy. -Where there is
self-doubting, I wish
you a renewed
confidence in your ability
to
work through it. -Where
there is tiredness, or
exhaustion, I wish you
understanding,
patience, and renewed
strength. -Where there
is fear, I wish you love,
and courage.. A woman came
out of her house and
saw 3 old men with
long white beards
sitting in her front yard.
She did not recognise
them. She said 'I don't
think I know you, but
you must be hungry.
Please come in and have
something to eat.' 'Is
the man of the house
home?', they asked.
'No', she replied. 'He's
out.' 'Then we cannot
come in', they replied. In
the evening when
her husband came
home, she told him
what
had happened. 'Go tell
them I am home and
invite them in!' The
woman went out and
invited the men in' 'We
do not go into a
House together,' they
replied.. 'Why is that?'
she asked. One of the
old men explained: 'His
name is Wealth,' he said
pointing to one of
his friends, and said
pointing to another one,
'He is Success, and I am
Love.' Then he added,
'Now go in and discuss
with your husband
which one of us you
want in your home.'The
woman went in and told
her husband what
was said. Her husband
was overjoyed.. 'How
nice!!', he said. 'Since
that is the case, let us
invite Wealth. Let him
come and fill our home
with wealth!' His wife
disagreed. 'My dear,
why don't we invite
Success?' Their
daughter-
in-law was listening
from the other corner
of the house. She
jumped in with her own
suggestion: 'Would it not
be better to invite
Love? Our home will
then be filled with love!'
'Let us heed our
daughter-in- law's
advice,'
said the husband to his
wife. 'Go out and
invite Love to be our
guest.' The woman
went
out and asked the 3 old
men, 'Which one of
you is Love? Please
come in and be our
guest.'
Love got up and started
walking toward the
house.. The other 2 also
got up and followed
him..Surprised, the lady
asked Wealth and
Success: 'I only invited
Love, Why are you
coming in?' The old men
replied together: 'If
you had invited Wealth
or Success, the other
two of us would've
stayed out, but since
you
invited Love, wherever
He goes, we go with
him. Wherever there is
Love, there is also
Wealth and Success!!!!!!'
MY WISH FOR YOU... -
Where there is pain, I
wish you peace and
mercy. -Where there is
self-doubting, I wish
you a renewed
confidence in your ability
to
work through it. -Where
there is tiredness, or
exhaustion, I wish you
understanding,
patience, and renewed
strength. -Where there
is fear, I wish you love,
and courage..

UNCLE Akpos: Ah! Joba
long time! how re U
doing?
Joba: Am ok tank u. I
came to look for
admission to
realize my dream of
becoming a Doctor! I
hope u can
help?
UNCLE Akpos : o I see,
how was ur O'level?
Joba: Fine O! 2 credits
Sir, Yoruba & Agric.
UNCLE Akpos: Laughing
That is a Good Result
My
Borther!! ! U can still be
a Doctor but a native
Doctor.
Use ur credit in Agric to
look for Herbs & ur
credit in
Yoruba for incantations.

Akpors visited his friend
Eazy.
Eazy called his wife and
asked her to serve
them
drinks.
when the wife was
done with the serving,
she sat
down right opposite
Akpos with
her legs open. Akpors
could not control
himself so he enjoyed
the view. when Eazy
went inside the
house, Eazy's wife said
to
Akpors, "do you like
what you see"?
Akpos said YES. Eazy's
wife said , "you can
have it, but
it will only
cost you N10,000, and
Akpos agreed so they
fixed a time, 12pm the
next day
when the husband Eazy,
will be at
work.
So the next day, Akpors
came over at the
exact time
and they enjoyed
themselves then he
paid
her.
When Eazy came back,
this was what
transpired btw dem;
EAZY: honey was
Akpors here today?
WIFE: [AFRAID] yes
EAZY : at 12pm right ?
WIFE : [ALMOST
FAINTING ] yes
EAZY : OHH, Akpos my
good friend, always
keeping time ...
WIFE : Honey, why do
you ask?
EAZY : he came over to
my office this
morning and
borrowed N10,000 from
me promising to
bring it
back to you at the
house by 12pm, so did
he
bring
it ? The wife
FAINTED!!!!

TRY IT AND ANSWER IN
5 SECS.
You'd be amazed at the
different answers.
888888888888388
888888888888888
888888888888888
888888888888888
883888888888888
888888888888888
888888888888888
888888838888888
888888888888888
888888888888388
888888888888888
888888888838888
888888888888888
888388888888888
888888838888838
888888888888883
888888888888888
838888888888888
How many "3" (s) can
you see?

SEE GOBE: A prostitute
waves
to you from other side
of d road and
shout "CUSTOMER"
during an
"EVANGELISM" what will
you do if you're the
victim? likes and
comment!!

Chichi: Do you smoke?
Akpos: Yes....
Chichi: How many packs
a day?
Akpos: 3 packs.
Chichi: How much per
pack?
Akpos: N200.
Chichi: And how long
have you been
smoking?
Akpos: For 15 years.
Chichi: So, one pack
costs N200, and you
have
3 packs a day, which
puts your spending each
month at N18,000. In
one year, it would be
N216,000 correct?
Akpos: Correct.
Chichi: If in one year you
spend N216,000 not
accounting for inflation,
the past 15 years
puts your spending at
over N3,000,000
correct?
Akpos: Correct.
Chichi: Do you know that
if you hadn't
smoked, that money
could have been put in a
step-up interest
savings account and
after
accounting for
compound interest for
the
past 15 years, you could
have now easily
bought a brand new
Range Rover HSE Sport?
Akpos: Do you smoke?
Chichi: No.
Akpos: So where's your
Range Rover HSE
Sport then?

Akpors radio got spoild and he kept it for 5years, without touching it.
One day he decided to go and repair it.
He took it to a radio repairer,
The repairer told him to pay 500 naira, and akpors priced 150.
They leta agreed on 250 naira,
The repairer unscrewed (open) the radio.............hmmm.......immediatly two cockraoch just ran out of the radio.
Akpors saw the two cockraoch and shouted........"catch them.....catch them,....the news casters are escaping...oooooooo"
Hahahahah give akpors one funny word.

*Akpos The Taxi Driver*
A Japanese tourist hailed a taxi in Nigeria and asked
to be taken to the Ahmadu Bello Airport.
On the way, a car zoomed by and the tourist
responded, "Oh! Toyota - Made in Japan! Very fast!"
Not too long afterward, another car flew by the taxi.
"Oh! Nissan - Made in Japan! Very fast!"
Yet another car zipped by, and the tourist said, "Oh!
Mitsubishi - Made in Japan! Very fast!"
Akpos, who is 100% Nigerian, was starting to get a
little annoyed that the Japanese made cars were
passing his taxi when another car passed the taxi as
they were turning into the airport. "Oh! Honda - Made
in Japan! Very fast!"
Akpos stopped the car, pointed to the meter, and said,
"That'll be 5000 naira ."
The tourist exclaimed "5000 naira? It was short ride!
Why so much?"
Akpos smiled as he replied, "Meter - Made in Nigeria.
Very fast!"
One word for Akpos

TEACHER : Who Created
the Earth.?
(Akpos pokes a girl’s
back
with a pencil)
GIRL : Oh God.!
TEACHER : Good..
Correct answer.!!
TEACHER : Who was
Born
on 25 Dec.?
(Akpos again pokes the
girl’s back)
GIRL : Oh Jesus.!!
TEACHER : Very good..
Correct
answer..
TEACHER : What did Eve
tell Adam when they
had their 17th Baby.??
(Akpos pokes the girl’s
back yet again.)
GIRL : If you Stick that
‘Thing’ on
Me
Öne More Time,
I’m going to
Break It into Half..
Teacher fainted.!!
Like or Comment if u
Really get it

I'm 26 a smart average body, good looking, fun guy, a final year student of electrical electronics engineering.
I'm a simple person so i hate drama i love to travel hangout with friends cook listen to music watch movies and i love the internet.
I am here to date a with a woman older than me because they are more understanding caring and matured.
If you know you are above 32 and you would like to hangout with me please do not hesitate to contact me, do not be shy okay. Please you should go straight to the point when contacting okay.
You can call text or add me on bbm... 08065099377, 08167950172, 21CAD793.. Any location in Nigeria.

Akpors was caught red handed by
his principal writing
"MAY GOD PUNISH MY PRINCIPAL"
PRINCIPAL: What nonsense are you
writing? [about to
Slap Akpors].
AKPORS: Sir, I have not finished
writing it.
PRINCIPAL: [angry] What do you
mean. You are
insulting me and you are telling me
that you have not
finished?
AKPORS: This is not what I want to
write.
PRINCIPAL: So what did you want
to write?
AKPORS: I wanted to write "MAY
GOD PUNISH MY
PRINCIPAL'S ENEMIES"

A married lawyer had sex in his car and forgot the girl's panties on the car seat. His wife found the panties in the back seat, and tore it apart screaming!
"What is this?".
He calmly replied, "you just destroyed the evidence of a rape case
which was worth millions of dollars that I am handling".
She quickly went on her knees apologizing "babe, I'm sorry"....
What do you call him:
1. Smart,
2. A good lawyer or
3. A damn good liar?
‪

A CANDID ADVICE TO MY YOUNG GIRLS:
With all SINCERITY
Young girls, you truly look PRETTY
But i
have to warn you not
to loose your VIRGINITY.
Don't allow what
you see in your
VICINITY
To break your wall of
SECURITY..
Your VIRGINITY is your DIGNITY,
Protect it and make it your
number One PRIORITY.
Don't allow error
of PROXIMITY to lead you
into IMMORALITY.
Some of your friends call youMINORITY
Bcause you don't follow their PARTY OF
MAJORITY,
They show off their body as PUBLICITY for
money
And also committing ATROCITY..
Now you are feeling PITY for yourself and a
sense
of INSECURITY,
And thinking of
embracing their INSANITY.
But listen to me dear,
Dont listen to them
Because all is VANITY upon VANITY
My Sweety
With Baba GOD the ruler of ETERNITY you
have a
true IDENTITY
And you are covered by
divine IMMUNITY.
Leave them to
PARTY in their IRASCIBILITY
Because in
REALITY
The end is CALAMITY.
They will also become HIV CASUALTY.
If you have lost ur VIRGINITY
already,
Don't worry,
GOD can still give you a new IDENTITY.
HIS DIVINITY will help your
HUMILITY
But you have to stop
all IMMORALITY
So that you can get access into the beautiful
CITY
prepared by the Almighty......
Please dont Loose your INTEGRITY
And Bring Shame To The GODOf INFINITY.
I rest my case
With all Honesty.

Akpos knocked on the gate of a brothel in a
red light district.
The madam opened the brothel door to see a
young man called Akpos.
His clothes were all tattered and he looked
needy.
Can I help you? the madam asked.
I want Jane. said Akpos.
The madam said; Young Man, Jane is one of
our most expensive ladies, perhaps someone
else.
No, I must see Jane. Akpos insisted.
Just then Jane appeared and announced to
Akpos that she charges 50,000 Naira per visit.
Akpos didn't blinked but reached into his
pocket and handed her fifty pieces of 1,000
Naira notes.
The two went up to a room for an
hour whereupon Akpos calmly left.
The next night he appeared again demanding
Jane.
Jane explained that no one had ever come
back two nights in a row and that there were
no discounts. It was still 50,000 Naira.
Again, Akpos took out the money.
The two went up to the room and he calmly
left an hour later.
When Akpos showed up the
3rd consecutive night, no one could believe it.
Again, he handed Jane the money and up to
the room they went.
At the end of the hour Jane questioned
Akpos; No one has ever used my services
three nights in a row. Where are you from?.
Akpos replied; I'm from Warri.
Really? said Jane, I have a brother who lives
there and does business.
Yes, I know! Akpos replied. He gave me
150,000 Naira to give to you.

Hahahahahaha!
Do u know why I'm
laughing? I just
remembered some funny
names we (I and my
classmates) used to call
our teachers when we
were in secondary school.
Mehn! It was fun.
Sometimes when those
memories flash back to
my brain, I feel like going
back to school.
Let me give you the
breakdown of some funny
names we called our
teachers (can't remember
all, though).
CHEMISTRY teacher =
OXYGENATOR (Reason: He
always talks about
oxygen).
BIOLOGY teacher =
OSMOSIS (Reason: He love
teaching osmosis).
AGRIC teacher = BEAUTY
(Reason: Dis man ugly
pass devil).
ACCOUNT teacher =
BULALA (Reason: If dis
man flog u, you go hate
school).
MATHS teacher = ALGEBRA.
C.R.K teacher = GOOD
SAMIRITAN (Reason: Very
stingy man).
GOVERNMENT teacher =
PDP (Reason: He always
talk politics)
These are some I can
remember.
What about you? Did you
give funny names to all/
some ofyour teachers?
Please tell us.
Let's enjoy the thread!

When I came home in the Rain-
Father asked: "why didn't u take
an
umbrella??"-Sister advised: "why
didn't u
wait till the rain stopped??"-
Brother angrily warned: "Only after
getting
a cold u will realize!!"-But Mother,
while
drying my hair, said:"Stupid Rain!
Couldn’t
it wait till my child came home...??
That's
why! All mothers are special, GOD
bless
them.Be proud to comment how much you love your Mom.

If you Caught your partner inbed
with another person,
WHAT
WOULD YOU
SAY FIRST?
1. OMG!
2. HAHAHAHA!
3. I KNEW IT..
4. UUUUWIII
5. WHAAT!
6. CAN I JOIN
7. Al KILL BOTH OF U
8. IT'S OVER
9. WTF! 10. Ha!
11. AM I DREAMING!
12. OH! NOOO..
13. WE NEED TO TALK
14. WHAT STYLE IS THAT!!!?
15. KEEP QUIET
16. ___Other(specify)

Akpos slept on d same bed with his girlfriend (ekaitte).
In the morning when he woke up, he decided 2 sing a love song for his girlfriend.
When he was singing
d song, his girlfriend started crying...
Akpos said, Eyah!! "I no know say u love me
like dis ooo... Now i know u truely love me.
The girl replied, "Love ke?? 'its not ur song that is making me cry o,
"its d odour 4rm ur mouth that is peppering
my eyes..

Akpos returns a missing purse to the owner in a market. The lady was so grateful but when she looked inside the purse, she got confused and said, "but I had just a single note of N1000 but, now there are ten notes of N100, how come?" Akpos said "na me change am, because the last time I help person find purse she say she for give me something but change nodey! So I changed it"
HOW MANY LIKES and SHARE FOR AKPOS ?

Akpos died and went to Heaven. As he
stood in front of the Pearly Gates, he
saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.
He asked, 'Why all the clocks?'
St. Peter answered, Those are Lie-
Clocks. Everyone who has ever been
on earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time
you lie, the hands on your clock move.
Oh, said akpos. 'Whose clock is that?'
'That's Mother Teresas', replied
St.Peter. 'The hands have never
moved, indicating that she never told a
lie.'
'Incredible', said akpos. 'And whose
clock is that one?
St. Peter responded, 'That's Abraham
Lincoln's clock. The hands have
moved Twice, telling us that Abraham
told only two lies in his entire life.'
'Where's our politician's clock?' asked
akpos.
St Peter replied, they r in the office.
We're using them as ceiling fans.'
Hit Like if u understand.

Akpos in a hurry used the ladies
'toilet in a posh hotel'..
He sat down and noticed four
buttons - WW, WA, PP & APR.
Curious, he pressed WW & his butt
was gently sprayed with WARM
WATER, he loved it so much!
He then pressed WA & a blast of
WARM AIR dried him up.
Still loving it, He pressed PP & a
POWDER PUFF to make him smell
fresh.
Feeling pampered, he decided to
press the last button APR.
He later woke up in a hospital.
A nurse smiled & said to him, Sir,
APR means AUTOMATIC PAD
REMOVER. When the machine
couldn't find a pad on you, it went
for your balls.
Your balls are in the jar over
there!
Y

SANDS OF FORGIVENESS
A story tells that two friends were walking through the desert. During some point of the journey they had an argument, and one friend slapped the other one in the face.
The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand:
TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE.
They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved him.
After he recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone:
TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE.
The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him, "After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone, why?"
The other friend replied "When someone hurts us we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it."
LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND AND TO CARVE YOUR BENEFITS IN STONE