Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / NewStats: 3,194,672 members, 7,955,463 topics. Date: Sunday, 22 September 2024 at 06:40 AM |
Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / Akpors Commedy (6326 Views)
Best Nigerian Commedy And Jokes You Will Like / A Commedy Video Of Mr Ibu With Julius Agwu And Other Comedian Making It Funny / Commedy (2) (3) (4)
Akpors Commedy by Shegsvicky(m): 10:56am On Oct 29, 2013 |
AFRICAN PROVERBS THAT WILL CRACK YOUR RIBS 1. When a man is stung by a bee, he does not destroy all beehives (Kenya) 2. The man who marries a beautiful woman, and the farmer who grows corn by the roadside have the same problem (Ethiopia) 3. A short man is not a boy (Nigeria) 4. No matter how hot your anger is, it cannot cook yams (Nigeria) 5. It requires a lot of carefullness to kill the fly that perches on the scrotum (Ghana) 6. If the throat can grant passage to a knife, the anus should wonder how to expel it (Seychelles) 7. The frown on the face of the goat will not stop it from being taken to the market (Nigeria) 8. An old lady feels uneasy when dry bones are mentioned in a proverb (Ghana) 9. The same sun that melts the wax, hardens the clay (Niger) 10. If you don't know where you are going, any road will take you there (Uganda) 11. There is no virgin in a maternity ward (Cameroon) 12. A child can play with its mother's breasts, but not its father's testicles (Guinea) 13. He who goes to sleep with an itching anus wakes up with smelly fingers (Nigeria) ADD URS AND WHICH ONE IS YOUR FAVOURITE? Like www.facebook.com/4Qakpors for more jokes 1 Like |
Re: Akpors Commedy by Shegsvicky(m): 3:15pm On Oct 29, 2013 |
Akpos went to the police to report about his lost bicycle. AKPOS: My new bicycle has been stolen. POLICE: When did u notice? AKPOS: This morning POLICE: Do you have a suspect? AKPOS: Yes,my mum and dad. POLICE: why do u suspect them? AKPOS: yesterday at midnight i heard mum say make it stand well so I can seat on it very well ''and dad said ''climb up fast before it falls .and mum said ''push slowly slowly dont hurt me.......police hahaha o boy na senior bicycle be that oooo for more like www.facebook.com/4Qakpors/154298284754070 or search for Akpors commedy on www.facebook.com 2 Likes |
Re: Akpors Commedy by Shegsvicky(m): 4:27pm On Oct 29, 2013 |
Akpors fell into a well and he was screaming for help. His wife Ekaete came with a rope to help: AKPORS: How much did you buythe rope? EKAETTE: NGN 1000. AKPORS(Still inside the well about to drown, shouted): What! Return it now now, go to papa Ochuko at the fourth street he sells it for NGN 250. Hurry up before I die here oh! For more like www.facebook.com/4Qakpors |
Re: Akpors Commedy by Shegsvicky(m): 11:34pm On Oct 29, 2013 |
Akpors' father accompanied him to his school end of the year award party. As they sat watching and amidst great shouts and loud ovations, the beneficiaries were called to the podium for their award presentation. The following conversation ensued: Announcer: Best student in sciences, the winner is Inem. Father: (Applause and eyes Akpors scornfully) see correct children! Announcer: Best student in commercial studies, the winner is Ajoke. Father: (Hisses and eyes Akpors) see correct children. Announcer: Best student in Arts and the winner is Helen. Father: (fuming with anger) See correct children!!. And so, all the awards were presented without any going to Akpors. At the end of the event, they left and went to the car park but as his dad made to start the car, the engine refused to respond. He opened the bonnet and touched a few things but all to no avail. Then they resorted to pushing and just as they got to the exit of the school the rickety car parked up. Exhausted and profusely sweating, Akpors rested on the gate just as his mates were driving off with their parents in Hummer jeep, Sequia, Infinity, Escalade, Bentley, Lincoln Nav and other exotic cars. All of a sudden, Akpors burst into laughter. His puzzled father asked,'what's so funny?' Amidst teary eyes Akpors responded 'SEE CORRECT FATHERS!'. www.facebook.com/4Qakpors |
Re: Akpors Commedy by sweetiePe(f): 12:46am On Oct 30, 2013 |
Akpos IN COURT Judge: now then,please tell me what are the charges against you ??. Akpos: i was caught shopping very early ... Judge: That doesnt seem like an offence to me..what do you mean by "very early"?? Akpos: Well your Honour , it was before the shop was open.. describe Akpors More Akpors Jokes: www.rosyside.com/discussion.htm 1 Like |
Re: Akpors Commedy by Shegsvicky(m): 5:35am On Oct 30, 2013 |
ALPHABET... A= ka, B=tu, C=mi, D= te, E=ku, F=lu, G= ji, H= ri, I=ki, J=zu, K= me,L= ta, M= rin, N= to, O= mo, P= no, Q= ke, R= shi, S= ari, T = chi, U= do, V=ru, W=mei, X= na, Y= fu, Z= zi. Send your name in Japanese Alphabet...have some laff=D. www.facebook.com/4Qakpors ;DALPHABET... A= ka, B=tu, C=mi, D= te, E=ku, F=lu, G= ji, H= ri, I=ki, J=zu, K= me,L= ta, M= rin, N= to, O= mo, P= no, Q= ke, R= shi, S= ari, T = chi, U= do, V=ru, W=mei, X= na, Y= fu, Z= zi. Send your name in Japanese Alphabet...have some laff=D. www.facebook.com/4Qakpors |
Re: Akpors Commedy by Shegsvicky(m): 11:24pm On Oct 30, 2013 |
AKPOS RIDDLE THAT'LL KILL YOUR BRAIN! This is going to make you so MAD! There are three words in the English language that end in "gry". ONE is angry and the other is hungry. Everyone knows what the third ONE means and what it stands for. Everyone uses them every day, and if you listened very carefully, I've given you the third word. What is it? _______gry? |
Re: Akpors Commedy by Shegsvicky(m): 11:45pm On Oct 30, 2013 |
A fat man saw advertisement "lose 5kg in a week". He called & said I would like to join! The lady in charge said to him Lady: Ok! Be ready tomorrow at 6am. Next morning, the fat man gets to the office and he was taken to a room. He opens the door & finds a hot babe with shoes, underpants & shirt saying, "If u catch me u can sleep with me!" and the girl starts running. The Man starts running after her but couldn't catch her. So, during the whole week exercise, he tried to catch her but couldn't & lost 5kg. He then asks for the 10kg program. Next morning at 6am, he opens the door & saw even hotter babe in bikini saying if u catch me u can sleep wit me. Still he couldn't catch her. He lost 10kg that week. So, he thought this program is awesome! Lets try 25kg program. The lady in charge said "are you sure? Its really tough!!" "Why not" said the fat man Next day at 6am he opens the door expecting to see a Unclad babe but finds a Unclad mad man saying, "If I catch u, I will sleep with u!!" On seeing this The man run Run Run Run Run Run Run Run Run Run Run Run Run Run Run Run Run Run Run Run and run........ That week, he lost 40kg 3 Likes |
Re: Akpors Commedy by Lindajohn(f): 2:35am On Oct 31, 2013 |
Nice jokes bro, kip it up |
Re: Akpors Commedy by Nobody: 7:11am On Oct 31, 2013 |
Shegs vicky: AKPOS RIDDLE THAT'LL Badagry |
Re: Akpors Commedy by Shegsvicky(m): 11:44am On Oct 31, 2013 |
A woman came out of her house and saw 3 old men with long white beards sitting in her front yard. She did not recognise them. She said 'I don't think I know you, but you must be hungry. Please come in and have something to eat.' 'Is the man of the house home?', they asked. 'No', she replied. 'He's out.' 'Then we cannot come in', they replied. In the evening when her husband came home, she told him what had happened. 'Go tell them I am home and invite them in!' The woman went out and invited the men in' 'We do not go into a House together,' they replied.. 'Why is that?' she asked. One of the old men explained: 'His name is Wealth,' he said pointing to one of his friends, and said pointing to another one, 'He is Success, and I am Love.' Then he added, 'Now go in and discuss with your husband which one of us you want in your home.'The woman went in and told her husband what was said. Her husband was overjoyed.. 'How nice!!', he said. 'Since that is the case, let us invite Wealth. Let him come and fill our home with wealth!' His wife disagreed. 'My dear, why don't we invite Success?' Their daughter- in-law was listening from the other corner of the house. She jumped in with her own suggestion: 'Would it not be better to invite Love? Our home will then be filled with love!' 'Let us heed our daughter-in- law's advice,' said the husband to his wife. 'Go out and invite Love to be our guest.' The woman went out and asked the 3 old men, 'Which one of you is Love? Please come in and be our guest.' Love got up and started walking toward the house.. The other 2 also got up and followed him..Surprised, the lady asked Wealth and Success: 'I only invited Love, Why are you coming in?' The old men replied together: 'If you had invited Wealth or Success, the other two of us would've stayed out, but since you invited Love, wherever He goes, we go with him. Wherever there is Love, there is also Wealth and Success!!!!!!' MY WISH FOR YOU... - Where there is pain, I wish you peace and mercy. -Where there is self-doubting, I wish you a renewed confidence in your ability to work through it. -Where there is tiredness, or exhaustion, I wish you understanding, patience, and renewed strength. -Where there is fear, I wish you love, and courage.. A woman came out of her house and saw 3 old men with long white beards sitting in her front yard. She did not recognise them. She said 'I don't think I know you, but you must be hungry. Please come in and have something to eat.' 'Is the man of the house home?', they asked. 'No', she replied. 'He's out.' 'Then we cannot come in', they replied. In the evening when her husband came home, she told him what had happened. 'Go tell them I am home and invite them in!' The woman went out and invited the men in' 'We do not go into a House together,' they replied.. 'Why is that?' she asked. One of the old men explained: 'His name is Wealth,' he said pointing to one of his friends, and said pointing to another one, 'He is Success, and I am Love.' Then he added, 'Now go in and discuss with your husband which one of us you want in your home.'The woman went in and told her husband what was said. Her husband was overjoyed.. 'How nice!!', he said. 'Since that is the case, let us invite Wealth. Let him come and fill our home with wealth!' His wife disagreed. 'My dear, why don't we invite Success?' Their daughter- in-law was listening from the other corner of the house. She jumped in with her own suggestion: 'Would it not be better to invite Love? Our home will then be filled with love!' 'Let us heed our daughter-in- law's advice,' said the husband to his wife. 'Go out and invite Love to be our guest.' The woman went out and asked the 3 old men, 'Which one of you is Love? Please come in and be our guest.' Love got up and started walking toward the house.. The other 2 also got up and followed him..Surprised, the lady asked Wealth and Success: 'I only invited Love, Why are you coming in?' The old men replied together: 'If you had invited Wealth or Success, the other two of us would've stayed out, but since you invited Love, wherever He goes, we go with him. Wherever there is Love, there is also Wealth and Success!!!!!!' MY WISH FOR YOU... - Where there is pain, I wish you peace and mercy. -Where there is self-doubting, I wish you a renewed confidence in your ability to work through it. -Where there is tiredness, or exhaustion, I wish you understanding, patience, and renewed strength. -Where there is fear, I wish you love, and courage.. A woman came out of her house and saw 3 old men with long white beards sitting in her front yard. She did not recognise them. She said 'I don't think I know you, but you must be hungry. Please come in and have something to eat.' 'Is the man of the house home?', they asked. 'No', she replied. 'He's out.' 'Then we cannot come in', they replied. In the evening when her husband came home, she told him what had happened. 'Go tell them I am home and invite them in!' The woman went out and invited the men in' 'We do not go into a House together,' they replied.. 'Why is that?' she asked. One of the old men explained: 'His name is Wealth,' he said pointing to one of his friends, and said pointing to another one, 'He is Success, and I am Love.' Then he added, 'Now go in and discuss with your husband which one of us you want in your home.'The woman went in and told her husband what was said. Her husband was overjoyed.. 'How nice!!', he said. 'Since that is the case, let us invite Wealth. Let him come and fill our home with wealth!' His wife disagreed. 'My dear, why don't we invite Success?' Their daughter- in-law was listening from the other corner of the house. She jumped in with her own suggestion: 'Would it not be better to invite Love? Our home will then be filled with love!' 'Let us heed our daughter-in- law's advice,' said the husband to his wife. 'Go out and invite Love to be our guest.' The woman went out and asked the 3 old men, 'Which one of you is Love? Please come in and be our guest.' Love got up and started walking toward the house.. The other 2 also got up and followed him..Surprised, the lady asked Wealth and Success: 'I only invited Love, Why are you coming in?' The old men replied together: 'If you had invited Wealth or Success, the other two of us would've stayed out, but since you invited Love, wherever He goes, we go with him. Wherever there is Love, there is also Wealth and Success!!!!!!' MY WISH FOR YOU... - Where there is pain, I wish you peace and mercy. -Where there is self-doubting, I wish you a renewed confidence in your ability to work through it. -Where there is tiredness, or exhaustion, I wish you understanding, patience, and renewed strength. -Where there is fear, I wish you love, and courage.. 3 Likes |
Re: Akpors Commedy by Shegsvicky(m): 2:06pm On Oct 31, 2013 |
UNCLE Akpos: Ah! Joba long time! how re U doing? Joba: Am ok tank u. I came to look for admission to realize my dream of becoming a Doctor! I hope u can help? UNCLE Akpos : o I see, how was ur O'level? Joba: Fine O! 2 credits Sir, Yoruba & Agric. UNCLE Akpos: Laughing That is a Good Result My Borther!! ! U can still be a Doctor but a native Doctor. Use ur credit in Agric to look for Herbs & ur credit in Yoruba for incantations. |
Re: Akpors Commedy by Shegsvicky(m): 9:55pm On Nov 04, 2013 |
Akpors visited his friend Eazy. Eazy called his wife and asked her to serve them drinks. when the wife was done with the serving, she sat down right opposite Akpos with her legs open. Akpors could not control himself so he enjoyed the view. when Eazy went inside the house, Eazy's wife said to Akpors, "do you like what you see"? Akpos said YES. Eazy's wife said , "you can have it, but it will only cost you N10,000, and Akpos agreed so they fixed a time, 12pm the next day when the husband Eazy, will be at work. So the next day, Akpors came over at the exact time and they enjoyed themselves then he paid her. When Eazy came back, this was what transpired btw dem; EAZY: honey was Akpors here today? WIFE: [AFRAID] yes EAZY : at 12pm right ? WIFE : [ALMOST FAINTING ] yes EAZY : OHH, Akpos my good friend, always keeping time ... WIFE : Honey, why do you ask? EAZY : he came over to my office this morning and borrowed N10,000 from me promising to bring it back to you at the house by 12pm, so did he bring it ? The wife FAINTED!!!! |
Re: Akpors Commedy by Shegsvicky(m): 10:52am On Nov 05, 2013 |
TRY IT AND ANSWER IN 5 SECS. You'd be amazed at the different answers. 888888888888388 888888888888888 888888888888888 888888888888888 883888888888888 888888888888888 888888888888888 888888838888888 888888888888888 888888888888388 888888888888888 888888888838888 888888888888888 888388888888888 888888838888838 888888888888883 888888888888888 838888888888888 How many "3" (s) can you see? |
Re: Akpors Commedy by Shegsvicky(m): 1:06pm On Nov 06, 2013 |
SEE GOBE: A prostitute waves to you from other side of d road and shout "CUSTOMER" during an "EVANGELISM" what will you do if you're the victim? likes and comment!! 2 Likes |
Re: Akpors Commedy by Shegsvicky(m): 2:20pm On Nov 12, 2013 |
Chichi: Do you smoke? Akpos: Yes.... Chichi: How many packs a day? Akpos: 3 packs. Chichi: How much per pack? Akpos: N200. Chichi: And how long have you been smoking? Akpos: For 15 years. Chichi: So, one pack costs N200, and you have 3 packs a day, which puts your spending each month at N18,000. In one year, it would be N216,000 correct? Akpos: Correct. Chichi: If in one year you spend N216,000 not accounting for inflation, the past 15 years puts your spending at over N3,000,000 correct? Akpos: Correct. Chichi: Do you know that if you hadn't smoked, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 15 years, you could have now easily bought a brand new Range Rover HSE Sport? Akpos: Do you smoke? Chichi: No. Akpos: So where's your Range Rover HSE Sport then? |
Re: Akpors Commedy by Shegsvicky(m): 1:34pm On Nov 18, 2013 |
Akpors radio got spoild and he kept it for 5years, without touching it. One day he decided to go and repair it. He took it to a radio repairer, The repairer told him to pay 500 naira, and akpors priced 150. They leta agreed on 250 naira, The repairer unscrewed (open) the radio.............hmmm.......immediatly two cockraoch just ran out of the radio. Akpors saw the two cockraoch and shouted........"catch them.....catch them,....the news casters are escaping...oooooooo" Hahahahah give akpors one funny word. |
Re: Akpors Commedy by Shegsvicky(m): 1:36pm On Nov 18, 2013 |
*Akpos The Taxi Driver* A Japanese tourist hailed a taxi in Nigeria and asked to be taken to the Ahmadu Bello Airport. On the way, a car zoomed by and the tourist responded, "Oh! Toyota - Made in Japan! Very fast!" Not too long afterward, another car flew by the taxi. "Oh! Nissan - Made in Japan! Very fast!" Yet another car zipped by, and the tourist said, "Oh! Mitsubishi - Made in Japan! Very fast!" Akpos, who is 100% Nigerian, was starting to get a little annoyed that the Japanese made cars were passing his taxi when another car passed the taxi as they were turning into the airport. "Oh! Honda - Made in Japan! Very fast!" Akpos stopped the car, pointed to the meter, and said, "That'll be 5000 naira ." The tourist exclaimed "5000 naira? It was short ride! Why so much?" Akpos smiled as he replied, "Meter - Made in Nigeria. Very fast!" One word for Akpos |
Re: Akpors Commedy by Shegsvicky(m): 8:55pm On Nov 21, 2013 |
TEACHER : Who Created the Earth.? (Akpos pokes a girl’s back with a pencil) GIRL : Oh God.! TEACHER : Good.. Correct answer.!! TEACHER : Who was Born on 25 Dec.? (Akpos again pokes the girl’s back) GIRL : Oh Jesus.!! TEACHER : Very good.. Correct answer.. TEACHER : What did Eve tell Adam when they had their 17th Baby.?? (Akpos pokes the girl’s back yet again.) GIRL : If you Stick that ‘Thing’ on Me Öne More Time, I’m going to Break It into Half.. Teacher fainted.!! Like or Comment if u Really get it |
Re: Akpors Commedy by bosslife850: 4:37am On Nov 23, 2013 |
I'm 26 a smart average body, good looking, fun guy, a final year student of electrical electronics engineering. I'm a simple person so i hate drama i love to travel hangout with friends cook listen to music watch movies and i love the internet. I am here to date a with a woman older than me because they are more understanding caring and matured. If you know you are above 32 and you would like to hangout with me please do not hesitate to contact me, do not be shy okay. Please you should go straight to the point when contacting okay. You can call text or add me on bbm... 08065099377, 08167950172, 21CAD793.. Any location in Nigeria. 1 Like |
Re: Akpors Commedy by Shegsvicky(m): 10:24am On Dec 04, 2013 |
Akpors was caught red handed by his principal writing "MAY GOD PUNISH MY PRINCIPAL" PRINCIPAL: What nonsense are you writing? [about to Slap Akpors]. AKPORS: Sir, I have not finished writing it. PRINCIPAL: [angry] What do you mean. You are insulting me and you are telling me that you have not finished? AKPORS: This is not what I want to write. PRINCIPAL: So what did you want to write? AKPORS: I wanted to write "MAY GOD PUNISH MY PRINCIPAL'S ENEMIES" |
Re: Akpors Commedy by Shegsvicky(m): 12:13pm On Dec 05, 2013 |
A married lawyer had sex in his car and forgot the girl's panties on the car seat. His wife found the panties in the back seat, and tore it apart screaming! "What is this?". He calmly replied, "you just destroyed the evidence of a rape case which was worth millions of dollars that I am handling". She quickly went on her knees apologizing "babe, I'm sorry".... What do you call him: 1. Smart, 2. A good lawyer or 3. A damn good liar? |
Re: Akpors Commedy by Shegsvicky(m): 12:14pm On Dec 05, 2013 |
A CANDID ADVICE TO MY YOUNG GIRLS: With all SINCERITY Young girls, you truly look PRETTY But i have to warn you not to loose your VIRGINITY. Don't allow what you see in your VICINITY To break your wall of SECURITY.. Your VIRGINITY is your DIGNITY, Protect it and make it your number One PRIORITY. Don't allow error of PROXIMITY to lead you into IMMORALITY. Some of your friends call youMINORITY Bcause you don't follow their PARTY OF MAJORITY, They show off their body as PUBLICITY for money And also committing ATROCITY.. Now you are feeling PITY for yourself and a sense of INSECURITY, And thinking of embracing their INSANITY. But listen to me dear, Dont listen to them Because all is VANITY upon VANITY My Sweety With Baba GOD the ruler of ETERNITY you have a true IDENTITY And you are covered by divine IMMUNITY. Leave them to PARTY in their IRASCIBILITY Because in REALITY The end is CALAMITY. They will also become HIV CASUALTY. If you have lost ur VIRGINITY already, Don't worry, GOD can still give you a new IDENTITY. HIS DIVINITY will help your HUMILITY But you have to stop all IMMORALITY So that you can get access into the beautiful CITY prepared by the Almighty...... Please dont Loose your INTEGRITY And Bring Shame To The GODOf INFINITY. I rest my case With all Honesty. |
Re: Akpors Commedy by Shegsvicky(m): 12:15pm On Dec 05, 2013 |
Akpos knocked on the gate of a brothel in a red light district. The madam opened the brothel door to see a young man called Akpos. His clothes were all tattered and he looked needy. Can I help you? the madam asked. I want Jane. said Akpos. The madam said; Young Man, Jane is one of our most expensive ladies, perhaps someone else. No, I must see Jane. Akpos insisted. Just then Jane appeared and announced to Akpos that she charges 50,000 Naira per visit. Akpos didn't blinked but reached into his pocket and handed her fifty pieces of 1,000 Naira notes. The two went up to a room for an hour whereupon Akpos calmly left. The next night he appeared again demanding Jane. Jane explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row and that there were no discounts. It was still 50,000 Naira. Again, Akpos took out the money. The two went up to the room and he calmly left an hour later. When Akpos showed up the 3rd consecutive night, no one could believe it. Again, he handed Jane the money and up to the room they went. At the end of the hour Jane questioned Akpos; No one has ever used my services three nights in a row. Where are you from?. Akpos replied; I'm from Warri. Really? said Jane, I have a brother who lives there and does business. Yes, I know! Akpos replied. He gave me 150,000 Naira to give to you. 1 Like |
Re: Akpors Commedy by Shegsvicky(m): 12:16pm On Dec 05, 2013 |
Hahahahahaha! Do u know why I'm laughing? I just remembered some funny names we (I and my classmates) used to call our teachers when we were in secondary school. Mehn! It was fun. Sometimes when those memories flash back to my brain, I feel like going back to school. Let me give you the breakdown of some funny names we called our teachers (can't remember all, though). CHEMISTRY teacher = OXYGENATOR (Reason: He always talks about oxygen). BIOLOGY teacher = OSMOSIS (Reason: He love teaching osmosis). AGRIC teacher = BEAUTY (Reason: Dis man ugly pass devil). ACCOUNT teacher = BULALA (Reason: If dis man flog u, you go hate school). MATHS teacher = ALGEBRA. C.R.K teacher = GOOD SAMIRITAN (Reason: Very stingy man). GOVERNMENT teacher = PDP (Reason: He always talk politics) These are some I can remember. What about you? Did you give funny names to all/ some ofyour teachers? Please tell us. Let's enjoy the thread! |
Re: Akpors Commedy by Shegsvicky(m): 12:17pm On Dec 05, 2013 |
When I came home in the Rain- Father asked: "why didn't u take an umbrella??"-Sister advised: "why didn't u wait till the rain stopped??"- Brother angrily warned: "Only after getting a cold u will realize!!"-But Mother, while drying my hair, said:"Stupid Rain! Couldn’t it wait till my child came home...?? That's why! All mothers are special, GOD bless them.Be proud to comment how much you love your Mom. 1 Like |
Re: Akpors Commedy by Shegsvicky(m): 7:01am On Dec 06, 2013 |
If you Caught your partner inbed with another person, WHAT WOULD YOU SAY FIRST? 1. OMG! 2. HAHAHAHA! 3. I KNEW IT.. 4. UUUUWIII 5. WHAAT! 6. CAN I JOIN 7. Al KILL BOTH OF U 8. IT'S OVER 9. WTF! 10. Ha! 11. AM I DREAMING! 12. OH! NOOO.. 13. WE NEED TO TALK 14. WHAT STYLE IS THAT!!!? 15. KEEP QUIET 16. ___Other(specify) |
Re: Akpors Commedy by Shegsvicky(m): 7:01am On Dec 06, 2013 |
Akpos slept on d same bed with his girlfriend (ekaitte). In the morning when he woke up, he decided 2 sing a love song for his girlfriend. When he was singing d song, his girlfriend started crying... Akpos said, Eyah!! "I no know say u love me like dis ooo... Now i know u truely love me. The girl replied, "Love ke?? 'its not ur song that is making me cry o, "its d odour 4rm ur mouth that is peppering my eyes.. |
Re: Akpors Commedy by Shegsvicky(m): 7:01am On Dec 06, 2013 |
Akpos returns a missing purse to the owner in a market. The lady was so grateful but when she looked inside the purse, she got confused and said, "but I had just a single note of N1000 but, now there are ten notes of N100, how come?" Akpos said "na me change am, because the last time I help person find purse she say she for give me something but change nodey! So I changed it" HOW MANY LIKES and SHARE FOR AKPOS ? |
Re: Akpors Commedy by Shegsvicky(m): 7:02am On Dec 06, 2013 |
Akpos died and went to Heaven. As he stood in front of the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, 'Why all the clocks?' St. Peter answered, Those are Lie- Clocks. Everyone who has ever been on earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie, the hands on your clock move. Oh, said akpos. 'Whose clock is that?' 'That's Mother Teresas', replied St.Peter. 'The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.' 'Incredible', said akpos. 'And whose clock is that one? St. Peter responded, 'That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved Twice, telling us that Abraham told only two lies in his entire life.' 'Where's our politician's clock?' asked akpos. St Peter replied, they r in the office. We're using them as ceiling fans.' Hit Like if u understand. 2 Likes |
Re: Akpors Commedy by Shegsvicky(m): 10:53am On Dec 14, 2013 |
Akpos in a hurry used the ladies 'toilet in a posh hotel'.. He sat down and noticed four buttons - WW, WA, PP & APR. Curious, he pressed WW & his butt was gently sprayed with WARM WATER, he loved it so much! He then pressed WA & a blast of WARM AIR dried him up. Still loving it, He pressed PP & a POWDER PUFF to make him smell fresh. Feeling pampered, he decided to press the last button APR. He later woke up in a hospital. A nurse smiled & said to him, Sir, APR means AUTOMATIC PAD REMOVER. When the machine couldn't find a pad on you, it went for your balls. Your balls are in the jar over there! Y |
Re: Akpors Commedy by Shegsvicky(m): 10:53am On Dec 14, 2013 |
SANDS OF FORGIVENESS A story tells that two friends were walking through the desert. During some point of the journey they had an argument, and one friend slapped the other one in the face. The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand: TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE. They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved him. After he recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone: TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE. The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him, "After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone, why?" The other friend replied "When someone hurts us we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it." LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND AND TO CARVE YOUR BENEFITS IN STONE |
Grandma Gamble / Top 10 Funny Exam Answers / My Jokes: Not Allowed To Enter
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 96 |