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How To Treat A Cheating Spouse - Family - Nairaland

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How To Treat A Cheating Spouse by nnachichi(f): 12:54pm On Nov 07, 2013
The best way to treat an unfaithful spouse is to heap 'coals of fire' on his/her head. Ok,not literal fire,but behaving in an entirely opposite way from how u would have been expected to behave.That includes being extremely nice and kind,and sometimes silence does the magic than confrontation,esp when your spouse knows you are aware of his/her extramarital affairs. You also need God to guide you on your course of action during this sensitive period. More points are welcome.
Re: How To Treat A Cheating Spouse by Nobody: 1:09pm On Nov 07, 2013
i am sorry to say that this would simply send the wrong message to that person.......and will have them continue the disrespectful act they were indulging in. if your partner is doing something wrong you MUST communicate with them and let them know how it affects YOU, your R/SHIP so that they can stop. if you are aware they are cheating and say absolutely NOTHING then chances are it will NEVER change.

as for God, if he couldnt stop that partner from cheating, i doubt God can do anything about them now. you deluded people should stop bringing God and prayers into these flimsy topics. look around you, there are MANY evils happening AS WE SPEAK, and as much as the whole world may pray about it, nothing will change. so take responsibility for your actions and life instead of foolishly bringing God and prayer into these nonsense matters, as if it will change anything.

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Re: How To Treat A Cheating Spouse by ireneidiva(f): 1:18pm On Nov 07, 2013
Story
Re: How To Treat A Cheating Spouse by nnachichi(f): 2:19pm On Nov 07, 2013
MRbrownJAY: i am sorry to say that this would simply send the wrong message to that person.......and will have them continue the disrespectful act they were indulging in. if your partner is doing something wrong you MUST communicate with them and let them know how it affects YOU, your R/SHIP so that they can stop. if you are aware they are cheating and say absolutely NOTHING then chances are it will NEVER change.

as for God, if he couldnt stop that partner from cheating, i doubt God can do anything about them now. you deluded people should stop bringing God and prayers into these flimsy topics. look around you, there are MANY evils happening AS WE SPEAK, and as much as the whole world may pray about it, nothing will change. so take responsibility for your actions and life instead of foolishly bringing God and prayer into these nonsense matters, as if it will change anything.
well, i dont knw y God should be kept out of an institution He originated.If u must enjoy real joy,peace and satisfaction,then u nid God's help.BTW,U speak lyk u have some score to settle with God,maybe u shld face Him wit ur grivence instead of pouring it out here.As 4 me,GOD has been gud n faithful,n i wil serve Him 4eva.

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Re: How To Treat A Cheating Spouse by Nobody: 2:34pm On Nov 07, 2013
^^^ you should stop confusing life with God. if a spouse cheats then blame either him or yourself but leave God out of this. if you fail at marriage then stop blaming God and instead better yourself as a person. the solution to any of the problem is NOT with God, it is with YOU and YOUR partner. ....as if God had anything to do with your partner being unfaithful, or not.

i have tons of score to settle with deluded people who are quick to think that praying to God will solve their miserable lives, while they do absolutely NOTHING themselves. the only way a partner will change is if YOU as a partner make it happen. if you foolishly believe that praying will "miraculously" change that person, then you better wake up and smell the coffee.

many people such as your self call yourself religious but have no idea about that Bible you read and are only blinded sheep who will just follow what any dumb aass priest will tell you to do. READ THAT BIBLE CAREFULLY, EDUCATE YOURSELF, and then come here with proper advices.

btw: if you'd use your brain wisely and read that bible, you will understand that, unless someone repent from their sins, there is no way they can be saved by God. so none of your prayers would make any sense if you did absolutely nothing to make that man understand that he is doing something wrong (and thus repent), duh! you certainly do not serve God by expecting him to do you damn job.

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Re: How To Treat A Cheating Spouse by EfemenaXY: 2:51pm On Nov 07, 2013
^^ Lol! I daresay someone's on fire here - literally cheesy

nnachichi: The best way to treat an unfaithful spouse is to heap 'coals of fire' on his/her head. Ok,not literal fire,but behaving in an entirely opposite way from how u would have been expected to behave.That includes being extremely nice and kind,and sometimes silence does the magic than confrontation,esp when your spouse knows you are aware of his/her extramarital affairs. You also need God to guide you on your course of action during this sensitive period. More points are welcome.

@OP: Judging from the quality of your posted replies - this writeup obviously isn't yours. Source pls.

That aside, I can pick several holes with the message you're trying to relay to us.

~ First of all, is this advice also for men married to cheating wives? Should the man, on noticing that his wife's playing the fiddle, then be extremely nice, avoid confrontation and just remain silent?

~ Secondly, are you aware that there are serious health risks involved? Should the partner being cheated on carry on as though normal, until he / she is passed the deadly HIV or other STD nasties?

~ Thirdly, your advice of being extremely nice is simply rewarding bad behaviour. Keeping silent and ignoring the cheating spouse is sweeping their matrimonial issues under the carpet. Avoiding a problem won't make it go away. Even children know that.

~ And if you're going to look at it from the biblical angle, I think you should go back and find out what the bible says about adultery and the grounds for divorce.

Finally, I think you should lay off African Magic and stop dishing out Nollywood advice (ignore am, e go tire...). That mentality is for cheap and tacky low-budget movies and has nothing to do with real life.

3 Likes

Re: How To Treat A Cheating Spouse by nnachichi(f): 3:45pm On Nov 07, 2013
You'l agree with me that sometimes confrontation wen nt wisely done does more harm dan good in settling this type of problem,if u read my post well,i was lyk d both of u r aware of wat he/she is into.Now,there r so many strategies u can adopt 2 come out a winner here,4 some, open confrontation may work,4 some,it doesnt,howeva if u r not meticulous enof 2 channel ur confrontation well,it might jus backfire.4 most,wen ur spouse knows u knw what he is into,and yet u show him/her greater love like nothing happened,u'r working on him/her psychologically and i tell u it works.Sometimes it d unfaithful spouse that will caution himself and turn around.4 anti-God peeps, thats whr it might get difficult cos God can give u d patience and love u nid 2 pull this off. God's reach can get to where ur talking cant get to. U could talk,nag,struggle and yet d spouse might just get worse. For the record,u dont have 2 insult and trample on others to drive home a point. I believe and i know that God can play a major role in ur marriage if u let Him,if u kip Him out, He'll stay out.PERIOD!
Re: How To Treat A Cheating Spouse by byvan(f): 10:08pm On Nov 07, 2013
Butter him,cream him,bathe him,kiss him ,love him,be nice, smile,all these as a reward for a cheating spouse?i wonder what the reward ll be for a faithful spouse, Nigerian advisers I hail una!!!!! undecided

1 Like

Re: How To Treat A Cheating Spouse by Sunglow: 12:18am On Nov 08, 2013
byvan: Butter him,cream him,bathe him,kiss him ,love him,be nice, smile,all these as a reward for a cheating spouse?i wonder what the reward ll be for a faithful spouse, Nigerian advisers I hail una!!!!! undecided
I know what the reward will be-For a faithful wife beat her,slap her,turn her into a punching bag.For a faithful hubby,starve him of food,s.x,and refuse to have his children. cool cool cool

1 Like

Re: How To Treat A Cheating Spouse by byvan(f): 9:43am On Nov 08, 2013
;Di think you are right!
Re: How To Treat A Cheating Spouse by ochallo: 11:42am On Nov 08, 2013
here is a detailed post on how to handle a cheater.


http://www.elijahforce.blogspot.com/2013/10/how-to-handle-cheater.html
Re: How To Treat A Cheating Spouse by Kanwulia: 11:15pm On Nov 08, 2013
Not important in the grand scheme of things. I have other things to worry about than when a man or woman decides to exercise a FREE WILL! kiss
The only thing I will NEVER tolerate from ANY HUMAN BEING. . .MAN OR WOMAN IS PHYSICAL, VERBAL OR EMOTIONAL ABUSE! kiss

Whatever he or she chooses to do with his or her gaddem PRIVATES, is none of my gaddem bizz! kiss
Re: How To Treat A Cheating Spouse by donroxy(m): 4:54am On Nov 09, 2013
Op, Cheating is the beginning of failure in Marriage, It either take the hubby away or takes the wife away !!

There is no amount of psychological manipulation you can administered to a born2Cheat, unless it is a Life threatening one, Cheaters don't easily succumb since it is part of their existence and what make their Life rocks !!


Cheaters are in category, what I classified as Natural-Cheaters (Born2Cheat), don't easily succumb to manipulations, infact, If U disengaged them from cheating , they would become a useless patner @home with odd characters !!!


An Artificial cheater who cheats due to some Unsatisfactory circumstances with the Wife or present of some undue advantages are those that can be Psychologically manipulated through re-convincing them !!



I once heard a man who says, Cheating is what keeps his Matrimonial home strong, He love,respect,regard and care for his wife only cuz He cheats ..... He may loose it @ home-front if he stops !!!

1 Like

Re: How To Treat A Cheating Spouse by greatgod2012(f): 9:21am On Nov 09, 2013
byvan: Butter him,cream him,bathe him,kiss him ,love him,be nice, smile,all these as a reward for a cheating spouse?i wonder what the reward ll be for a faithful spouse, Nigerian advisers I hail una!!!!! undecided


these are also my question.

1 Like

Re: How To Treat A Cheating Spouse by nnachichi(f): 6:51pm On Nov 09, 2013
donroxy: Op, Cheating is the beginning of failure in Marriage, It either take the hubby away or takes the wife away !!

There is no amount of psychological manipulation you can administered to a born2Cheat, unless it is a Life threatening one, Cheaters don't easily succumb since it is part of their existence and what make their Life rocks !!


Cheaters are in category, what I classified as Natural-Cheaters (Born2Cheat), don't easily succumb to manipulations, infact, If U disengaged them from cheating , they would become a useless patner @home with odd characters !!!


An Artificial cheater who cheats due to some Unsatisfactory circumstances with the Wife or present of some undue advantages are those that can be Psychologically manipulated through re-convincing them !!



I once heard a man who says, Cheating is what keeps his Matrimonial home strong, He love,respect,regard and care for his wife only cuz He cheats ..... He may loose it @ home-front if he stops !!!
Thats where God comes in.There are cases of people that cant be talked out of cheating,no matter how hard you try,you'll just get frustated and the guy is off doing his thing.You cannot change a person,only God can.God should be given the chance to heal such marriages,thats what i can say. 4 the artificial cheaters,u 2 can talk it 2ru and understand why he/she is unfaithful,still the place of prayers cant be neglected.

1 Like

Re: How To Treat A Cheating Spouse by spicyv1(f): 8:15pm On Nov 09, 2013
MRbrownJAY:
as for God, if he couldnt stop that partner from cheating, i doubt God can do anything about them now. you deluded people should stop bringing God and prayers into these flimsy topics. look around you, there are MANY evils happening AS WE SPEAK, and as much as the whole world may pray about it, nothing will change. so take responsibility for your actions and life instead of foolishly bringing God and prayer into these nonsense matters, as if it will change anything.

It is NOT Gods responsibility to STOP any evil from happening, it is the responsibility of man to align with HIS will, submit to HIM and resist the Devil.

And, we cannot stop bringing God into the picture because He is full of tender mercies and is ABLE to restore peace and order. It is by praying that we can draw strength and find wisdom to handle matters sanely.
Re: How To Treat A Cheating Spouse by lolaluv1(f): 8:21pm On Nov 09, 2013
So many valid points here. Mr Brown Jay! You sir are so on point.

Bvan and Efemena, nice ones.

1 Like

Re: How To Treat A Cheating Spouse by jeffizy(m): 8:45pm On Nov 09, 2013
Kanwulia:
The only thing I will NEVER tolerate from ANY HUMAN BEING. . .MAN OR WOMAN IS PHYSICAL, VERBAL OR EMOTIONAL ABUSE! kiss

Whatever he or she chooses to do with his or her gaddem PRIVATES, is none of my gaddem bizz! kiss
What greater source of emotional abuse is greater than a spouse doing 'things with their PRIVATES' ?

@op, such approach is very out of this world. Maybe such will work in a situation where the hubby cannot 'get it up' at all or the wifey is sterile.
Re: How To Treat A Cheating Spouse by carefreewannabe(f): 8:52pm On Nov 09, 2013
donroxy: Op, Cheating is the beginning of failure in Marriage, It either take the hubby away or takes the wife away !!

There is no amount of psychological manipulation you can administered to a born2Cheat, unless it is a Life threatening one, Cheaters don't easily succumb since it is part of their existence and what make their Life rocks !!


Cheaters are in category, what I classified as Natural-Cheaters (Born2Cheat), don't easily succumb to manipulations, infact, If U disengaged them from cheating , they would become a useless patner @home with odd characters !!!


An Artificial cheater who cheats due to some Unsatisfactory circumstances with the Wife or present of some undue advantages are those that can be Psychologically manipulated through re-convincing them !!



I once heard a man who says, Cheating is what keeps his Matrimonial home strong, He love,respect,regard and care for his wife only cuz He cheats ..... He may loose it @ home-front if he stops !!!

Enlightening!

Watch out you don't marry a Born2CHEAT!
Re: How To Treat A Cheating Spouse by carefreewannabe(f): 8:52pm On Nov 09, 2013
jeffizy: What greater source of emotional abuse is greater than a spouse doing 'things with their PRIVATES' ?

@op, such approach is very out of this world. Maybe such will work in a situation where the hubby cannot 'get it up' at all or the wifey is sterile.

Exactly!
Re: How To Treat A Cheating Spouse by Kanwulia: 11:41am On Nov 10, 2013
jeffizy: What greater source of emotional abuse is greater than a spouse doing 'things with their PRIVATES' ?

Not in my world o. kiss
More like stoopid mind games. kiss
My opinion. Glad you have yours.
My emotions do not dwell inside my toto!
Thank you! kiss
Re: How To Treat A Cheating Spouse by Nobody: 2:20pm On Nov 10, 2013
Orisirisi

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