Hmm, all I can say is it is well with you!

On second thoughts, if two of you have become one flesh, there ought to be NO barriers. Both languages/cultures should be adopted together as a couple who have been joined together as ONE and each party MUST learn to accomodate the other. Nothing like your language, my language, my son! No my, my, my.. It is now ours, ours, ours...

But then, this is from the christian perspective.

chineloSA:

Continue luv. Stop resisting as well. You cant divorce because of this

Thanks jare. I'll keep it up. Divorce is not an option at all, God forbid.

What a nauseating thread.

Who insists on such a thing because of some senseless ego trip? Anyway, to each his own, but this manner of disgusting nonsense will never fly with me.

chineloSA:
Personally, how I would treat this is, my child has to know all his father culture, language etc before mine.

Though I do not think the guy may have meant bad, but he meant it. The son is his son hence he bears his surname.

I think you overreacted, since you said the child can still learn Yoruba either way. Teach your son all his fathers culture before yours. Your son may blame you when he does not fit in, in future. Your son is not Yoruba, he is Esan.
Even with names, he has a right to deny you to give your son a Yoruba name, its his Esan son, not Yoruba son, so you were just pushing your luck.

Are you sure you are not pregnant again

You really spoke my mind....God bless u...

I wud always rep my Language first b4 adapting other cultures...its not a matter of insecurity on d part of OP's huby...


OP...WHAT Language did ur huby say u shld speak to him instead?

This is minor stuff

Don't fret it. Shebi YOU shouldn't speak yoruba to him directly ni ? comply. Do you speak English at home all the time? If the answer is no, then baby will pick it up.

Even if hubby bans you totally from speaking yoruba when the boy is there, don't worry, nothing spoil- several ways to skin a cat dear - will the boy not go to school? Go to your relatives, grandma etc for visiting, even your location help your cause.

ileobatojo: What a nauseating thread.

Who insists on such a thing because of some senseless ego trip? Anyway, to each his own, but this manner of disgusting nonsense will never fly with me.

Abeg, stop being condescending to her hubby. Its still her hubby. We are trying to fix things here and you come with your bad attitude.

Households have different surnames because they are different. I the Ileobatojo does it in a certain way does not mean the Achebes have to do the same.

Go sleep jare.

chineloSA:
Personally, how I would treat this is, my child has to know all his father culture, language etc before mine.

Though I do not think the guy may have meant bad, but he meant it. The son is his son hence he bears his surname.

I think you overreacted, since you said the child can still learn Yoruba either way. Teach your son all his fathers culture before yours. Your son may blame you when he does not fit in, in future. Your son is not Yoruba, he is Esan.
Even with names, he has a right to deny you to give your son a Yoruba name, its his Esan son, not Yoruba son, so you were just pushing your luck.

Are you sure you are not pregnant again

are you sure you are not sick again? Op, he can learn both languages at the same time. Just talk to your hubby. The baby is ur kid too.

luvable sam:

You really spoke my mind....God bless u...

I wud always rep my Language first b4 adapting other cultures...its not a matter of insecurity on d part of OP's huby...


OP...WHAT Language did ur huby say u shld speak to him instead?

You'd always rep ur language first n ur wife can't also? 'Head' of the home doesn't mean u subdue ur wifey or does it?

To ur question, english of course!

ireneidiva:
are you sure you are not sick again? Op, he can learn both languages at the same time. Just talk to your hubby. The baby is ur kid too.

If you refering to me being sick, No. But I was thinking you may be sick

greatgod2012: When this man knew he wouldn't want his child speak Yoruba, why did he marry a Yoruba woman.
Can we say he's suffering from inferiority complex or is he just insecure or is he a tribalist?

To settle this, @op, sit him down and discuss gently and humbly with him, let him realise that, even if you dont speak this Yoruba language with d kid, he will still eventually pick it up in the enviroment while growing up. Or betterstill, tell him to communicate with his kid in his language while you also speak with him in your language, afterall, you also have half of your gene in your kid.

What is good for the goose is also good for the gander.

I av always read n listened to most 'family section' women cause confusion in peoples homes based on ur illmannerd advices u keep giving to other women who seek advice here...

How can u call the OP's huby 'insecure' when am so sure u don't know half of the OPs hubys reason for him not wanting her to speak her yoruba to the son...

In ur little minds u dish out advices without asking questions...

y didn't u ask her what Language he wants her to speak to him n y??

Most Women here are misleading...its just pathetic realy..

I pity women who come here for advice...its never a wise decision

chineloSA:

Abeg, stop being condescending to her hubby. Its still her hubby. We are trying to fix things here and you come with your bad attitude.

Households have different surnames because they are different. I the Ileobatojo does it in a certain way does not mean the Achebes have to do the same.

Go sleep jare.

Nauseating shyte.

But like I said, to each his own.

lola.luv:
Na real wa. Insecurity at Its peak! No offence ma'am but I just find this ludicrous.
Your child will pick Yoruba anyway, from his environment.

Wrong!! My brothers and I, even cousins were born and bred in Lagos, we don't speak Yoruba. Anyway, these are part of the challenges of inter-ethnic marriages. Its just safest to marry from your tribe irrespective of what people think. I won't use my marriage to unite Nigeria abeg. Let Jonah and Co do that!!

ednut1: No one force u to marry him, bear it alone abeg

this dude is sick

To some of us saying the guy has a complex problem, I wonder why such comment. I hv seen igbo, yoruba, edo, or rivers men insist their kids learn their language first.
It also depends on where d couple resides. If its lagos, he don't need his mum to teach him yoruba language. His mum being yoruba is an added advantage.
If u both r outside the country, I wonder which language u will teach him honestly.
An igbo lady friend of mine is havin problem right now over this same issue cos the children speaks only ibo.Hubby is yoruba. She takes the kids to her hometown but never d hubby's. The day I asked the son where he came from and he mentioned umuahia, I then knew she has over done it. Hubby is d cool type but has been complaining, that's how it starts .small small.

Duke_Nija:

Wrong!! My brothers and I, even cousins were born and bred in Lagos, we don't speak Yoruba. Anyway, these are part of the challenges of inter-tribal marriages. Its just safest to marry from your tribe irrespective of what people think. I won't use my marriage to unite Nigeria abeg. Let Jonah and Co do that!!

kendraloops:

You'd always rep ur language first n ur wife can't also? 'Head' of the home doesn't mean u subdue ur wifey or does it?

To ur question, english of course!

Thanx lady...so it wasn't even his Language he wanted....ask urself dis....who wants a toodler dat does chun out English words dis days?

or do u want ur family frnds to come visiting n they wud ask ur kid ...How ar u? n he wud just sit n stare?? or better still says ma mi kini won so??
Classic isn't it?

ileobatojo: What a nauseating thread.

Who insists on such a thing because of some senseless ego trip? Anyway, to each his own, but this manner of disgusting nonsense will never fly with me.

You never jam!!!

What is ironic is that he has no problem with the kid learning the whiteman's English even outside school before Esan but the Yoruba (his mother's language) is the problem. If you're not careful the child will end up not learning to speak either languages well and you will keep communicating in English. Most children spend more time with their mothers, so except your husband dedicates himself to teaching your son he will only learn bits and pieces from the Grandparents when they visit. This is how we end up with kids who can't speak any Nigerian language fluently and for those saying if you live in say Lagos he will still learn the Yoruba that isn't true. I know so many people even Yorubas who grew up in Lagos and can't speak it.

In this case the husband is the wife and the wife is the husband.

He is basically married to the woman.

,

yellowpawpaw: To some of us saying the guy has a complex problem, I wonder why such comment. I hv seen igbo, yoruba, edo, or rivers men insist their kids learn their language first.
It also depends on where d couple resides. If its lagos, he don't need his mum to teach him yoruba language. His mum being yoruba is an added advantage.
If u both r outside the country, I wonder which language u will teach him honestly.
An igbo lady friend of mine is havin problem right now over this same issue cos the children speaks only ibo.Hubby is yoruba. She takes the kids to her hometown but never d hubby's. The day I asked the son where he came from and he mentioned umuahia, I then knew she has over done it. Hubby is d cool type but has been complaining, that's how it starts .small small.

I get you ma'am. I've never insisted that the baby will speak just yoruba or say he's not from Edo. I'd NEVER do that. All I'm wondering is why is it such a big deal to him. To me, it'll be an added advantage to the child.

Hubby says he's scared of baby developing funny yoruba accent as a result of speaking the language of which I've assured him such will never happen lailai.

yellowpawpaw: To some of us saying the guy has a complex problem, I wonder why such comment. I hv seen igbo, yoruba, edo, or rivers men insist their kids learn their language first.
It also depends on where d couple resides. If its lagos, he don't need his mum to teach him yoruba language. His mum being yoruba is an added advantage.
If u both r outside the country, I wonder which language u will teach him honestly.
An igbo lady friend of mine is havin problem right now over this same issue cos the children speaks only ibo.Hubby is yoruba. She takes the kids to her hometown but never d hubby's. The day I asked the son where he came from and he mentioned umuahia, I then knew she has over done it. Hubby is d cool type but has been complaining, that's how it starts .small small.

u are one of the most sensible Women I have come across on NL I swear...

aome just comment to complete the numbers or better still seek CHEAP attention

yellowpawpaw: To some of us saying the guy has a complex problem, I wonder why such comment. I hv seen igbo, yoruba, edo, or rivers men insist their kids learn their language first.
It also depends on where d couple resides. If its lagos, he don't need his mum to teach him yoruba language. His mum being yoruba is an added advantage.
If u both r outside the country, I wonder which language u will teach him honestly.
An igbo lady friend of mine is havin problem right now over this same issue cos the children speaks only ibo.Hubby is yoruba. She takes the kids to her hometown but never d hubby's. The day I asked the son where he came from and he mentioned umuahia, I then knew she has over done it. Hubby is d cool type but has been complaining, that's how it starts .small small.

In this case the husband is the wife and the wife is the husband.

He is basically married to the woman.

luvable sam:

Thanx lady...so it wasn't even his Language he wanted....ask urself dis....who wants a toodler dat does chun out English words dis days?

or do u want ur family frnds to come visiting n they wud ask ur kid ...How ar u? n he wud just sit n stare?? or better still says ma mi kini won so??
Classic isn't it?

I'm to speak English to him cos I obviously can't speak Esan.

ileobatojo: What a nauseating thread.

Who insists on such a thing because of some senseless ego trip? Anyway, to each his own, but this manner of disgusting nonsense will never fly with me.

U are basically one of those I was refering to when I said "some just complete the numbers here"...

well its the OP IS blame for allowing a junkie call her huby 'senseless'.....

U need help n fast

[size=28pt]THIS IS THE PROBLEM WITH INTERTRIBAL MARRIAGES!

ALL TIS UNNECESSARY CONFUSION!

MARRY WITHIN YOUR OWN TRIBE! [/size]

luvable sam:

U are basically one of those I was refering to when I said "some just complete the numbers here"...

well its the OP IS blame for allowing a junkie call her huby 'senseless'.....

U need help n fast

Abeg who are you and who gives a crap what you have to say? What is senseless is senseless. Fullstop.

kendraloops:

I get you ma'am. I've never insisted that the baby will speak just yoruba or say he's not from Edo. I'd NEVER do that. All I'm wondering is why is it such a big deal to him. To me, it'll be an added advantage to the child.

Hubby says he's scared of baby developing funny yoruba accent as a result of speaking the language of which I've assured him such will never happen lailai.

Funny yoruba accent?I'm right for saying your husband's got a complex.He speaks esan and he doesn't think the Esan accent is deep too?I have friends who are Esan and the accent is just as deep as yoruba.

PAGAN 9JA:
[size=28pt]THIS IS THE PROBLEM WITH INTERTRIBAL MARRIAGES!

ALL TIS UNNECESSARY CONFUSION!

MARRY WITHIN YOUR OWN TRIBE! [/size]

Esan ppl head hot no be small.

kendraloops:

I get you ma'am. I've never insisted that the baby will speak just yoruba or say he's not from Edo. I'd NEVER do that. All I'm wondering is why is it such a big deal to him. To me, it'll be an added advantage to the child.

Hubby says he's scared of baby developing funny yoruba accent as a result of speaking the language of which I've assured him such will never happen lailai.

Forget whatever his reasons were and teach him his father's language. This shouldn't be an issue at all. Like I said, u r still with ur baby. U will be chipping in ur language and baby will be picking small small. U can sing in ur language too abi is it forbidden?
Honestly speaking, its small small molehills like this that becomes mountain if not put in check.
Talk is cheap. Some of us will give advice that will spark fire and still go and jejely manage their own homes very well.
Be wise madam.
Thanks.

ileobatojo:

Abeg who are you and who gives a crap what you have to say? What is senseless is senseless. Fullstop.

Yea......u made ur point........ur comments are senseless