Inter-tribal, inter-racial, inter-religious, etc marriages should only be for people with tolerance and understanding. If you cannot tolerate other people's culture, languages, religion, etc, abeg stay in your zone. My father, an Esan man, also banned us from speaking Yoruba, but he woefully failed because we were all born in Osogbo. My mother, from Akoko-Edo, was born in Lagos and we always conversed with her in Yoruba.

I am not ashamed to say that I identify more with Yoruba people than Esan people. It is not my fault. I don't speak the language. Whenever I visit my village, I am a complete stranger and I rely on translators. So many people underestimate the power of language. It is hard and somewhat embarrassing to claim that you are from a tribe when you do not speak the language therein. Interestingly, I have a patent Edo name, but I act and speak like a Yoruba man.

kendraloops: I'm so so so very angry this evening. I've been having this issue with hubby for a while now, used to think he was kidding but this evening just confirmed it for me.

I'm Yoruba n he's Esan from Edo state. He speaks yoruba very very fluently even better than me, he teaches me proverbs n all sometimes sef. But anytime I speak yoruba to our baby, he gets irritated kind of n says' my son is an Esan man, stop speaking yoruba to him'.

We had a major row over it this evening again. Don't I count in the boy's life? What's the biggie in him learning how to speak yoruba?

Try to get him to go see a marriage counsellor, that my advice

kendraloops:

Thanks for the reassuring words. Yes we live in the south-west. Its so bad that we almost quarreled before I could put a yoruba name amongst his names on his birth certificate!

Your husband has no choice. Your son would eventually pick up the language as long as you live in the southwest.

Is there no Yoruba man out here to defend his sister?

Can you bear a man from another ethnic group bed your sister/daughter, and then prevent her from speaking/allowing her child to speak his/her language?

I can never allow anyone from my tribe to marry outside. Ill disown them.

TUFIAKWA!


SAY NO TO INTER-TRIBAL MARRIAGES!

LET US SAVE OUR KIDS FUTURES!

LET US SAVE OUR LANGUAGES, CULTURES AND TRIBES!

LET US DO OUR HUMAN DUTY!

luvable sam:

Yea......u made ur point........ur comments are senseless

As are the OP's husband's orders. Anything further?

Next!

My parents are igbo and yoruba.
I only know igbo, and I regret it.

Please ma'am.
Speak both languages to your son.

Human beings even at that tender age(or rather, especially at that tender age) are able to master two languages at a time[sometimes even three. The marvels of the human intellect. God be praised.]

If your child speaks both esan and yoruba, it will be a blessing to him in the future.

PAGAN 9JA:
Is there no Yoruba man out here to defend his sister?

Can you bear a man from another ethnic group bed your sister/daughter, and then prevent her from speaking/allowing her child to speak his/her language?

I can never allow anyone from my tribe to marry outside. Ill disown them.

TUFIAKWA!


SAY NO TO INTER-TRIBAL MARRIAGES!

LET US SAVE OUR KIDS FUTURES!

LET US SAVE OUR LANGUAGES, CULTURES AND TRIBES!

LET US DO OUR HUMAN DUTY!

What a waist

As others have stated, your husband is on point but he will lose the battle.

Look, your son is half-Yoruba living in Yorubaland, so naturally will be inclined to gravitate more towards that culture/people than that of his father.

And if your son "chooses" Yoruba over Esan, then essentially your husband's heritage has died with him.

Heck, I'm in the same exact position as your husband...almost all of the women I date are non-Yoruba, so it is pretty likely when I eventually get married and have kids that they'll view themselves as African American first before Yoruba.

Op, you don't need to sweat over it at all. very soon, your son will be teaching your husband how to speak yoruba. nor be south-west una dey stay; you will laugh last trust me.
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we never spoke bini to my kid bro when he was growing up. but today I can say he's an expert to some extent #though with funny intonation. I know it will get better#.

kendraloops: I'm so so so very angry this evening. I've been having this issue with hubby for a while now, used to think he was kidding but this evening just confirmed it for me.

I'm Yoruba n he's Esan from Edo state. He speaks yoruba very very fluently even better than me, he teaches me proverbs n all sometimes sef. But anytime I speak yoruba to our baby, he gets irritated kind of n says' my son is an Esan man, stop speaking yoruba to him'.

We had a major row over it this evening again. Don't I count in the boy's life? What's the biggie in him learning how to speak yoruba?

The man is trying to save his son. You should be very grateful. I hope you don't feed the child amala and oily soup as well. We don't need future rat poison drinkers.

chineloSA:

What a waist

you are trash yourself.

obi alfa:

The man is trying to save his son. You should be very grateful. I hope you don't feed the child amala and oily soup as well. We don't need future rat poison drinkers.

G-O-A-T!!!

ileobatojo:

As are the OP's husband's orders. Anything further?

Next!

U are boring...go to bed pls

ileobatojo: What a nauseating thread.

Who insists on such a thing because of some senseless ego trip? Anyway, to each his own, but this manner of disgusting nonsense will never fly with me.

Na so you go dey rake for every thread weh concern man and woman. who know whether you be sub for one woman beater self.

Joshthefirst: My parents are igbo and yoruba.
I only know igbo, and I regret it.

Please ma'am.
Speak both languages to your son.

Human beings even at that tender age(or rather, especially at that tender age) are able to master two languages at a time[sometimes even three. The marvels of the human intellect. God be praised.]

If your child speaks both esan and yoruba, it will be a blessing to him in the future.

The problem is not that the child cannot or wont be exposed to both languages. Their problem is marital peace because the wife neglect Eson. This little thing shakes their peace. The child will pick up Yoruba at school and around friends and his mom.

The child should embrace his identity first before his moms. For peace, wife should stop resisting and teach the child his language. Yoruba will definitely follow by virtue of their current location and little injection from the mom.

Joshthefirst: My parents are igbo and yoruba.
I only know igbo, and I regret it.

Please ma'am.
Speak both languages to your son.

Human beings even at that tender age(or rather, especially at that tender age) are able to master two languages at a time[sometimes even three. The marvels of the human intellect. God be praised.]

If your child speaks both esan and yoruba, it will be a blessing to him in the future.

It is hard to learn a language from a parent, especially if that parent is the only one who speaks that language in that environment. You learn a language from your environment: school, friends, TV, church, etc. Why do you think that most Nigerians born in diaspora do not speak any Nigerian languages? If you want your child to learn your language, then you have to provide the right environment for them. You cannot stop them from learning the prevalent language in their environment.

As much as i don't see anything wrong in you speaking Yoruba to your son but if your husband has a problem with it, you have to discuss it with him and his words should be final. Yes, you heard me. The reason why he's the head of the family is because he reserves the right to make the final decision when there's a conflict. I also think you went into marriage with a wrong mentality which is to bring federal character into your marriage. If you love your husband soo much then you should learn his Esan and speak it to your child. Any husband that allows you to give your child a name from your language to speak your language to the child is just being nice and nonchalant. These are things people should discuss before getting married.

chineloSA:

What a waist

Afam4eva: As much as i don't see anything wrong in you speaking Yoruba to your son but if your husband has a problem with it, you have to discuss it with him and his words should be final. Yes, you heard me. The reason why he's the head of the family is because he reserves the right to make the final decision when there's a conflict. I also think you went into marriage with a wrong mentality which is to bring federal character into your marriage. If you love your husband soo much then you should learn his Esan and speak it to your child. Any husband that allows you to give your child a name from your language to speak your language to the child is just being nice and nonchalant. These are things people should discuss before getting married.

backward thinking.

PAGAN 9JA:


you are trash yourself.

If you are Igbo,your parents didn't do any justice to our tribe.

chineloSA:

If you are Igbo,your parents didn't do any justice to our tribe.

Im not Igbo.

ekt_bear: Heck, I'm in the same exact position as your husband...almost all of the women I date are non-Yoruba, so it is pretty likely when I eventually get married and have kids that they'll view themselves as African American first before Yoruba.

So am I. Since I am now living in America, I have made my peace that my children will most likely not speak Yoruba. I have more chances of meeting non-Yoruba women than Yoruba ones. Even if I marry a Yoruba woman, it will still be hard to teach them the language because of our surroundings. I doubt that the children will want to learn a language that they can only use with two people.

"The person wey get head no get cap" am still planning how to marry hausa and employ ibo nani so my child can speak de 3 major language.

This issue is very sensitive and can destroy ur marriage(God 4bid) but my own advice is for u too talk to him and if he still continue to insist visit ur a marriage councillor or religious leader because either he likes it or not ur child will speak yoruba before speaking another local language considering his environment

My dear op, in my opinion you are overreacting.
You are not the first person going though this, neither would you be the last. It's not a complex thing your husband has. He just wants his kids to speak and understand his language, which is not bad, but very correct. Have you not met couples who don't give their kids English names Or kids who bear names from the man's tribe I personally know a yourba man married to an Ishan or is it Esan woman, and the man insists his kids learn yoruba. They take lessons in yoruba, have literature books in yoruba.
Better obey your husband. And then those times when you are alone with your kids speak your language to them. If u wanted so bad to influence your kids with your culture, why didn't you marry from your tribe?? My dear, use wisdom. Try to be supportive in your kids learning his Language, while teaching him your own language by the corner in those shared moments.
Don't fight your husband sha!! Na my own be that.
Enjoy!!!

gothrones:

So am I. Since I am now living in America, I have made my peace that my children will most likely not speak Yoruba. I have more chances of meeting non-Yoruba women than Yoruba ones. Even if I marry a Yoruba woman, it will still be hard to teach them the language because of our surroundings. I doubt that the children will want to learn a language that they can only use with two people.

stop all this dating c.rap.

tell your parents to get a nice Yoruba girl for you and settle down.

all the americans know is divorce.

it doesn't matter. Satan has shown me the future of your son: At 25 years old, he will naturalise as a ghanian citizen then 7 years later marry a sierra-leonan and I can assure you that the language they will be speaking in their family will be neither yoruba nor esan.

gothrones:

So am I. Since I am now living in America, I have made my peace that my children will most likely not speak Yoruba. I have more chances of meeting non-Yoruba women than Yoruba ones. Even if I marry a Yoruba woman, it will still be hard to teach them the language because of our surroundings. I doubt that the children will want to learn a language that they can only use with two people.

sir.
I believe if you start speaking the language to the child from a tender age, he'll pick it up. He'll also pick up the local language spoken in his environment. This has been proved in families I've seen.

obi alfa:

backward thinking.

Can you tell us what is not backward? Causing unnecessary confusion that will lead to divorce? It's because of people like you that the average human being now marries up to 5 times before they die(i made this up sha). When God created man, he apportioned roles to each of them. It's when one tries to take up the other person's role that problem starts and it can eventually lead to the end of the marriage.

luvable sam:

U are boring..

And yet, you continue to quote me.

Back to this nauseating story.....

Harddaysnight: Na so you go dey rake for every thread weh concern man and woman. who know whether you be sub for one woman beater self.

Bros that is the reality o! Most of these girls who act all powerful and feminist on Nairaland are actually being used as rags by men in real life. Some girls can be so fake.

Honestly, i find it this unbelievable, trust me... Your story is wack... Who on earth, doesnt appreciate Yoruba culture and names... Moreso, your name is Kendra, have never seen a yoruba bearing Kendra, you must be igbo...

PAGAN 9JA:



Im not Igbo.

Thank God