RAPE ANY GIRL ON SIGHT – The Assam Rape Festival in India begins this week

Men in India are already beginning to celebrate as the annual Assam Rape Festival is just days away. Every non-married girl age 7-16 will have the chance to flee to safety or get raped.

Madhuban Ahluwalia who heads up the annual festival told reporters why the event is so important. “This is a long time tradition in Assam dating back thousands of years,” says Ahluwalia. “We rape the evil demons out of the girls, otherwise they will cheat on us and we will be forced to kill them. So it is necessary for everyone.”

The Assam Festival began in 43 BC when Baalkrishan Tamil Nadu raped everyone in his village of Doomdooma. Baalkrishan Tamil Nadu is remembered every year at this event, in fact the trophy given to the man with the most rapes is called “The Baalkrishan”.

24-year-old Harikrishna Majumdar told reporters that he has been training all year for this event. “I’m going to get the most rapes this year. I’ve been practicing all year. I rape my sister and her friends every day. I will be rape superstar number one! I will get the Baalkrishan prize this year for sure!”

12-year-old Jaitashri Majumdar told reporters she almost made it through last year’s festival without getting raped. “I came so close to not getting raped. I almost got to the ‘rape-free-zone’ at the edge of town, but at the last minute 9 men jumped on me and raped me. Luckily I am just recovering now so I can participate in this year’s events, otherwise I would be put to death by stoning.”

34-year-old Brian Barnett from Toronto who is visiting Assam on business told reporters he will be missing the festivities this year. “My company did not tell me anything about a rape festival happening while I was here. Are you serious, a rape festival? I’m getting the f*ck out of this backwards country tonight.”

India is second in reported rapes in the world only behind the United States, though critics are quick to point out that is only because most rapes in India go unreported.

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This is some real sh*t

Little wonder the high rate in rape cases!! Wtf is this man!! Devil hold this people for work abeg!! Tufia

What the hell?

The dragon they worship alongside the Chinese seems to be spreading its virus on them

Barbarism and primitiveness at it's zenith.

Like India, like Nigeria. Two shithole countries.

The two countries always drag the poverty capital positions in the world almost everytime.

Barbarism at it peak.

I can't believe this

jimetagambo:
Like India, like Nigeria. Two shithole countries.

The two countries always drag the poverty capital positions in the world almost everytime.

India is doing far better than Nigeria abeg

Shoot any rapist on side, should also be an order given to the military and security forces.

panafrican:
Shoot any rapist on side, should also be an order given to the military and security forces.

NOT REAL.

THIS WAS MEANT TO BE A SATIRE BUT IT WAS POORLY DONE.

THE STATE OF ASSAM IS ALREADY SEETHING WITH ANGER OVER THIS AND THE AMERICAN MEDIA THAT PUT THIS OUT IS LIKELY TO RETRACT IT.

this is bull sh**t. but indian is better than nigeria

Indians

This is fake news by a sarcastic site.

Igbo people