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Nashville: Back to the topic, stereotyping women is not only in Nigeria. Even Mitt Romney was accused several times of doing this during the last American elections when he made statements like - "women have to go home to cook every night" and "he has binders full of women". This happens more amongst older people. In the UK you hear people talking about dumb blonde girls whose life ambition is to become WAGs.

But the truth is that each of us need to know what we want out of life. Marriage is very desireable, and[b] I have noticed that most of the people who criticise the marriage institution are just jealous either because they have never been married or they had failed marriages.[/b] Check every single one of them and you will see that any woman that expressly criticises the marriage institution will fall into on of the two categories i described. Sorry but why should anyone take Cossy seriously. She doesnt even deserve a response in my opinion so her words should carry no weight.

Marriage is very honourable and comes with it a certain amount of responsibility. It also even implies that someone has considered you worthy enough to want to spend the rest of their lives with you. How can that be bad? Raising children and managing in-laws isnt for lazy people at all, on the contrary, marriage actually makes you alot more responsible.

How ignorant is the bolded. Are you saying people who plan and want other things for their lives rather than follow the rules society has placed for them way before they were born is because they are jealous or have failed marriages. Unless, you want to go back and live during the times of your grandmothers, marriage is very different to what it was today and so are humans. You cannot expect a divorcee not to criticise the marriage institution, for christ's sake she has been there and done that. To those who haven't but criticise it, it's like someone who criticise drugs but never done it. Do you have to do drug to criticise it? Not every woman who takes the bus of life wants their last stop to be marriage.

Many of these women against career women will be the same ones crying everynight because their husbands treat them like shyt. The men will be the same ones treating their women like shyt because they feel like the woman does nothing but stay at home and eat his money. These are the same men who insult women who eat men's money, call them golddiggers and all that nonsense. Erm, well wtf do you want if you don't want a woman who also brings home.

Many women still manage to juggle their career and children and build their family. A man should be looking for a career woman who is willing to build a life and family together and trust me, your life will be much easier.

Get out of that bullshyt mentality. You cannot have it both ways. If you want just a housewife go marry an illiterate. To women, if you are against career women why bother learning to be doctors or bankers. You are wasting money, na.

Even your ancestors were not just sitting at home and cooking and cleaning. They were also at the market all day long selling to bring money for the house. If you did not realise, that was a bloody career.

coogar:

if she wants to raise children, she should leave her career. if she's not interested in having kids then she can pursue her career aggressively. matter of fact, i will support her morally & financially in getting more certifications to rise to the very top.

am i an understanding hubby or not?

Why don't you be a stay at home father?

kandiikane:
Why don't you be a stay at home father?

would that be because i have mammary glands to feed my baby with? see her mouth like stayathome?

coogar:

would that be because i have mammary glands to feed my baby with? see her mouth like stayathome?

Well, yes. they have portable ones for stay at home dads in Asda. Your wife can pump bweast milk every morning before going to work and you can use formula for the rest of the day.

kandiikane:
Well, yes. they have portable ones for stay at home dads in Asda. Your wife can pump bweast milk every morning before going to work and you can use formula for the rest of the day.

i earn considerably higher than my partner so there's no economic sense in me staying at home. you need to learn some economics & take your sexist views to a public loo.

besides, how do stayathome dads cope with other mums in the nursery school. a man would generally be an outcast singing nursery rhymes with other mums.

the roles are not interchangeable until men start giving birth to babies. the innate ability to care & nurture is exclusive to women. from feeding to cleaning to speech development of the child.

LOL! Oh i am sexist? Go look at the definition and then look in the mirror. I believe you need to learn some economics and not me. One parents salary isn't enough in these times and economy we are in. Get that through your head. Is it the parents who look after the kids in nursery? Again, another ignorant comment, are you saying fathers are unable to care and nurture for their children naturally? So, i am guessing gay parents, stay at home fathers or single fathers are doing a phucked up job in raising their children, right? I don't know but I have certainly seen many fathers feeding their babies.

kandiikane: LOL! Oh i am sexist? Go look at the definition and then look in the mirror. I believe you need to learn some economics and not me. One parents salary isn't enough in these times and economy we are in. Get that through your head. Is it the parents who look after the kids in nursery? Again, another ignorant comment, are you saying fathers are unable to care and nurture for their children naturally? So, i am guessing gay parents, stay at home fathers or single fathers are doing a phucked up job in raising their children, right? I don't know but I have certainly seen many fathers feeding their babies.

fathers cannot do it as excellent as mums. coping is different from thriving. i cannot imagine having to raise my daughter all by myself - instead of reading to her & building legos, it would be arm wrestling & cops & robbers.

then what about speech development - women because of their natural disposition to talk & sing helps kids pick words while men don't necessarily talk until there's something to say. it then means my child would be slower than her peers in learning words.

it's not going to happen - let mothers do their traditional role of nurturing while fathers do their traditional role of bringing home the bacon. the roles are not completely interchangeable.

coogar:

fathers cannot do it as excellent as mums. coping is different from thriving. i cannot imagine having to raise my daughter all by myself - instead of reading to her & building legos, it would be arm wrestling & cops & robbers.

then what about speech development - women because of their natural disposition to talk & sing helps kids pick words while men don't necessarily talk until there's something to say. it then means my child would be slower than her peers in learning words.

it's not going to happen - let mothers do their traditional role of nurturing while fathers do their traditional role of bringing home the bacon. the roles are not completely interchangeable.

What? At this point I think you will just say anything

coogar:

fathers cannot do it as excellent as mums. coping is different from thriving. i cannot imagine having to raise my daughter all by myself - instead of reading to her & building legos, it would be arm wrestling & cops & robbers.

So what of when you have sons would your wife be doing arm wrestling And cop & robbers

dayokanu:

So what of when you have sons would your wife be doing arm wrestling And cop & robbers

mothers are not naturally disposed to make kids become reckless risk takers that would whack other kids in the playgrounds or jump off a swing. these things are better handled by moms than dads.

coogar:

mothers are not naturally disposed to make kids become reckless risk takers that would whack other kids in the playgrounds or jump off a swing. these things are better handled by moms than dads.

Wont the mother grooming your son turn him into a doll loving, barbie adoring, lullaby singing wuss?

dayokanu:
Wont the mother grooming your son turn him into a doll loving, barbie adoring, lullaby singing wuss?

nah - mothers know better than making their sons effeminate. men however forget these fine margins & make their daughters boisterous.

coogar:

nah - mothers know better than making their sons effeminate. men however forget these fine margins & make their daughters boisterous.

Stop talking out of your azz.

Coogar, you will be the same one looking down on single mothers. What is the point of having a man in your life then if he is unable to bring up his children too? If bringing up a child is for the mother, why the hell do we chastise single mothers? I mean, apart from those living on the dole, many are working and raising their children so there is no need to have a man around since women are more efficient in bringing up a child, yes? If one salary is ok to you, then being a single parent is not a bad way to go, no? I am sure many would rather that than have a man who does nothing to contribute to the upbringing of his children. Your 8hour salary won't bring up your child.

kandiikane:
Stop talking out of your azz.

oh shut up with your council flat language. where do you think you are, you old cargo?

kandiikane: Coogar, you will be the same one looking down on single mothers. What is the point of having a man in your life then if he is unable to bring up his children too? If bringing up a child is for the mother, why the hell do we chastise single mothers?

who chastises single mothers? biko, speak for yourself......

you must have been born in the wrong century. women with feminist views have long figured this out & they have concluded a woman needs a man in the same capacity as a fish needs a bicycle. you are behind the curve.

I mean, apart from those living on the dole, many are working and raising their children so there is no need to have a man around since women are more efficient in bringing up a child, yes? If one salary is ok to you, then being a single parent is not a bad way to go, no?

what kinda gutter reasoning is this?
so regardless of the amount a man is making, he cannot tell his wife to stop working & take care of the home front? why won't you think like this when the majority of the men you roll with are on minimum wage?

listen to me & listen good....
some men make twice or thrice as much as the national average. it makes no economic sense to them that their wife that's making less than £25k per annum is working. what she brings in is too little to justify her absence from home & let some thai woman do the child care. if a woman earns considerably higher than her hubby then same rules also apply.

I am sure many would rather that than have a man who does nothing to contribute to the upbringing of his children. Your 8hour salary won't bring up your child.

a family ideally = a man + a woman + children. the issue of money has nothing to do with this equation. i mean, what mathematical expression says a high earning husband needs no wife or a high earning wife needs no husband? are you high on amphetamines?

This whole 'debate' is somewhat senseless. Esp on the first page when a poster(coogar) said "career women" shouldn't get married.
what?? are we in the 1960s?? remembering those days when PhD used to stand for "Put Husband Down" when women were forced to choose between getting an education or getting married.(does anyone remember WEEK - Women Education End in the Kitchen).

Newsflash! This is 2013 for christsake. Anybody who lives abroad in a country like USA knows that career women are actually MORE likely to get married than the lower class or uneducated women who end up as baby mamas. If you look at who make up the middle class,it consists of two working parents. In fact, increasingly, women are the breadwinners (ie there is an increase in the number of families where women earn more than their husbands). Most men in developed world have wizened up to the simple fact that marriage is actually less burdensome when the wife has a career. That is unless the man is someone who still believes in the idea that women should be "submissive" rotflmao then in that case, such a man should forget about marriage unless he happens to be rolling in dollars to sustain a stay at home, "submissive" wife and family. I put submissive in quotation because technically you can't physically abuse her (to force her into submission) or deprive her. you might end up in jail or divorced. so you need to actually be financially secure as a male to marry a stay at home wife!! How many men are financially secure? Hence why having a woman to contribute is very helpful.
It's going to take Nigeria a few years or decades to catch up to this way of life but catch up,we will.

Coogar, I really don't know what lala-land you are living in. Even your posts on this page are just borderline ludicrous. Almost seems like you are posting rubbish just to amuse yourself in riling us up. Please stop it.

coogar:

oh shut up with your council flat language. where do you think you are, you old cargo?

Lol, what? Like I said stop speaking out of your azz.

who chastises single mothers? biko, speak for yourself......

Well, pardon me if I assumed you are a hypocrite.

you must have been born in the wrong century. women with feminist views have long figured this out & they have concluded a woman needs a man in the same capacity as a fish needs a bicycle. you are behind the curve.

Why don't you read once in a while rather than makeu up nonsense from hearsay

what kinda gutter reasoning is this?
so regardless of the amount a man is making, he cannot tell his wife to stop working & take care of the home front? why won't you think like this when the majority of the men you roll with are on minimum wage?

Stop making up shyt! I don't 'roll' with men. I roll with myself. I am going to point out where you contradicted yourself later on. Why would any sensible man tell his wife to stop working and stay at home? Only a control freak and a thoughless man will say such a thing. Hell, i am sure even bill gates made sure his wife had something going for herself because he knows he isn't really going to leaving his hard earned money for her.

listen to me & listen good....
some men make twice or thrice as much as the national average. it makes no economic sense to them that their wife that's making less than £25k per annum is working. what she brings in is too little to justify her absence from home & let some thai woman do the child care. if a woman earns considerably higher than her hubby then same rules also apply.

Ok, wait, are you for or against a career woman? A man should stay at home to look after the kids if the wife earns more than him? Are you confused? Wasn't your argument against women working?

a family ideally = a man + a woman + children. the issue of money has nothing to do with this equation. i mean, what mathematical expression says a high earning husband needs no wife or a high earning wife needs no husband? are you high on amphetamines?

Then why the hell are you arguing? See your contradiction? If the issue isn't about money why should a husband tell the wife to stop working? Naah, i think you are the one high on dog shyt. If a family is equal to man+woman+child then what is your problem with a career woman? She is part of the equation, na or is she not a woman? As you rightfully wrote, it isn't about the money but the sense of self worth even if the husband was making 10times more than average salary! Unless, you were born with a vagina, you can't say nada. Your type will be the same man who will look down on a woman who isn't working. Listen many women have tried this housewife nonsense and they suffered severely for it. I am sure we all saw the thread a while back of a nigerian governor in American who one day decided to kick his wife out of his mansion along with his kids. I don't blame him but the useless wife who felt like because she was married to man with a mansion she could live comfortably by just sitting at home doing nothing but enjoying the wealth she accumulated through marriage. Nonsense! To all the wannabe housewives on here, make sure you enjoy that more than average salary your hubby is making ohh because when he is ready, you will be frying plantain by the road side like you use to.

Coogar, please, when you have your daughters make sure you don't take them to school ohh. You don't want them becoming career women and defying what you stand for by working hard for themselves and making more than average salary. Make sure you keep them locked up and marry them as quickly as possible so to avoid the embarrassment of them looking after you when your pubes have turned grey and you are on your deathbed. You don't want them using money on you, noo, you want them to be housewives. Feeding children and cleaning because that is what you brought them in this world to do.

kandiikane:
Lol, what? Like I said stop speaking out of your azz.

you belittle yourself when you talk this way. I didn't give you much before though but then this has plunged you deeper in the sewers - keep at it!

Well, pardon me if I assumed you are a hypocrite.

assumptions could get you killed - stop assuming every man you come across share the same ideology as your bubblegum bedmates

Why don't you read once in a while rather than makeu up nonsense from hearsay

i am quoting what a hardline feminist said about men & you are saying it's nonsense. at least, verify the quote instead of making yourself look like a clueless dingbat!

Stop making up shyt! I don't 'roll' with men. I roll with myself. I am going to point out where you contradicted yourself later on. Why would any sensible man tell his wife to stop working and stay at home? Only a control freak and a thoughless man will say such a thing. Hell, i am sure even bill gates made sure his wife had something going for herself because he knows he isn't really going to leaving his hard earned money for her.

he would tell his wife to stop working & stayathome to nurture the kids. marriage is partnership(division of labour) so as to achieve the highest productive output humanly possible. that's how nature designed it to be. however, on the off chance that the wife earns a considerably higher income than the hubby then the husband should stay at home.

the key is having one parent stay at home...

Ok, wait, are you for or against a career woman? A man should stay at home to look after the kids if the wife earns more than him? Are you confused? Wasn't your argument against women working?

stop plumbing the depths of idiocy.
i am neither for/against career women. i said a woman that intends to chase her career aggressively should not bother having kids.

Then why the hell are you arguing? See your contradiction? If the issue isn't about money why should a husband tell the wife to stop working? Naah, i think you are the one high on dog shyt. If a family is equal to man+woman+child then what is your problem with a career woman? She is part of the equation, na or is she not a woman? As you rightfully wrote, it isn't about the money but the sense of self worth even if the husband was making 10times more than average salary!

you must be related to blind bartimeaus...
show me where i mentioned anything remotely close to sense of selfworth? so a woman who chooses to sacrifice her career for few years to nurture her kids has no self-worth?

a million apologies - i have clearly overestimated your intelligence.

Unless, you were born with a vagina, you can't say nada. Your type will be the same man who will look down on a woman who isn't working. Listen many women have tried this housewife nonsense and they suffered severely for it. I am sure we all saw the thread a while back of a nigerian governor in American who one day decided to kick his wife out of his mansion along with his kids. I don't blame him but the useless wife who felt like because she was married to man with a mansion she could live comfortably by just sitting at home doing nothing but enjoying the wealth she accumulated through marriage. Nonsense! To all the wannabe housewives on here, make sure you enjoy that more than average salary your hubby is making ohh because when he is ready, you will be frying plantain by the road side like you use to.

another idiotic assertion.
we should all stop getting on a plane then since airplanes have taken considerable number of human lives all over the planet. what has an idiotic nigerian governor gotta do with this?

are you saying this governor couldn't have kicked the wife out even if she's working? do women still not get the house & 50% of their husband's assets in a divorce? so what has the employment status of a woman gotta do with her being kicked in or kicked out?

once again, you have shown this topic is intellectually out of your league.

Coogar, please, when you have your daughters make sure you don't take them to school ohh. You don't want them becoming career women and defying what you stand for by working hard for themselves and making more than average salary. Make sure you keep them locked up and marry them as quickly as possible so to avoid the embarrassment of them looking after you when your pubes have turned grey and you are on your deathbed. You don't want them using money on you, noo, you want them to be housewives. Feeding children and cleaning because that is what you brought them in this world to do.

clap for yourself for showing up show clueless you are in cognitive reasoning. so the temporary 4-5 years a woman takes out to nurture her kids is a good enough reason for her to shun formal education wholeheartedly?

you have the brain power of a pubic louse...

coogar.. good debating prowess but you have to make your premise realistic

How many people can afford to live a normal life on one income immediatelyafter marriage and this is not about the Joneses...

The UK is a bit better and a no brainer because childcare costs more or less offset the cost of one partner working

I get your points but you need to be more realistic

lynk106: This whole 'debate' is somewhat senseless. Esp on the first page when a poster(coogar) said "career women" shouldn't get married.
what?? are we in the 1960s?? remembering those days when PhD used to stand for "Put Husband Down" when women were forced to choose between getting an education or getting married.(does anyone remember WEEK - Women Education End in the Kitchen).

it seems you need a high dose of yeast in your food. i said a career woman should forget about raising children. where did i say a career woman shouldn't marry? if she marries & decides not to raise kids, how does that scenario threaten her career?

Newsflash! This is 2013 for christsake. Anybody who lives abroad in a country like USA knows that career women are actually MORE likely to get married than the lower class or uneducated women who end up as baby mamas. If you look at who make up the middle class,it consists of two working parents. In fact, increasingly, women are the breadwinners (ie there is an increase in the number of families where women earn more than their husbands). Most men in developed world have wizened up to the simple fact that marriage is actually less burdensome when the wife has a career.

the above is bunkum....
career women are more likely to be unhappy when married. getting married is the easiest, making the marriage work is the real mccoy of this discourse so rethink your points before you go on with your epistle.

That is unless the man is someone who still believes in the idea that women should be "submissive" rotflmao then in that case, such a man should forget about marriage unless he happens to be rolling in dollars to sustain a stay at home, "submissive" wife and family. I put submissive in quotation because technically you can't physically abuse her (to force her into submission) or deprive her. you might end up in jail or divorced. so you need to actually be financially secure as a male to marry a stay at home wife!!

what has submission gotta do with the sacrifice a woman makes to raise her own children? who should do it for her? you??

How many men are financially secure? Hence why having a woman to contribute is very helpful. It's going to take Nigeria a few years or decades to catch up to this way of life but catch up,we will.

everywhere you look, men generally make more money than women so there are plenty of financially secure men. women still marry up, the average caucasian female or nigerian female is hypergamous or are you dating a gateman?

Coogar, I really don't know what lala-land you are living in. Even your posts on this page are just borderline ludicrous. Almost seems like you are posting rubbish just to amuse yourself in riling us up. Please stop it.

you are the one writing balderdash in the name of getting yourself noticed. you said "this is 2013...." - that's you shooting your own foot in this debate. so what has been the rate of divorce in 2013 as opposed to 50 years ago when men were expected to get the bacon & women stayed at home?

pickabeau1: coogar.. good debating prowess but you have to make your premise realistic

How many people can afford to live a normal life on one income immediatelyafter marriage and this is not about the Joneses...

The UK is a bit better and a no brainer because childcare costs more or less offset the cost of one partner working

I get your points but you need to be more realistic

then these people should not start raising children immediately. save some money, work hard, dabble into businesses that fetch income. what's the essence of bringing kids into the world only to abandon them for people who might abuse them?

if it means storing his sample in a spërm bank or freezing her eggs then so shall it be. the nigerian scenario is even better cos you have grandmas who can fill in for the wife but i still insist mothers should have time for their kids.

coogar:

then these people should not start raising children immediately. save some money, work hard, dabble into businesses that fetch income. what's the essence of bringing kids into the world only to abandon them for people who might abuse them?

if it means storing his sample in a spërm bank or freezing her eggs then so shall it be. the nigerian scenario is even better cos you have grandmas who can fill in for the wife but i still insist mothers should have time for their kids.

hmm... i agree that its a bit tough havings kids bat right into the institution
Grandmas are not so easy to rope in nowadays as they themselves are working and sometimes are stretched across 3 - 4 grandkids
What is clear from this discourse so far is that one has to plan well before parenting
This can include part time work, au pairs, spacing to have time

May God help us

You can have it all.
Career, family, money, husband, kids, boyfriends....if you want .

Some ppl love Being stay at home mums, or dads...others wants a career.
Someone who respect you will respect you, with or without money involved.

pickabeau1:
hmm... i agree that its a bit tough havings kids bat right into the institution
Grandmas are not so easy to rope in nowadays as they themselves are working and sometimes are stretched across 3 - 4 grandkids

What is clear from this discourse so far is that one has to plan well before parenting
This can include part time work, au pairs, spacing to have time

May God help us

may heaven reward you for this bit....
however, the modern woman will not agree with you concerning working part time or stayathome because her first reaction would be the suspicion that her hubby is trying to cage her.

the modern woman is now self-centred. all she's thinking about is herself & herself alone. the only reason she wants to work is to have a safety net in case a divorce ensues. it then begs the question - why marry at all if the focus is more on post-divorce than the marriage itself?

coogar:

may heaven reward you for this bit....
however, the modern woman will not agree with you concerning working part time or stayathome because her first reaction would be the suspicion that her hubby is trying to cage her.

the modern woman is now self-centred. all she's thinking about is herself & herself alone. the only reason she wants to work is to have a safety net in case a divorce ensues. it then begs the question - why marry at all if the focus is more on post-divorce than the marriage itself?

Deep.... You are right on the bolded.....

@Topic
Absolutely nothing

@ Coogar, I'm curious.
Have you found a woman who shares your views
Is she Nigerian?
Is/was her Mom financially independent and/or career focused?
In your world, are there stay at home Moms?

Pardon me if I'm being intrusive. I ask these questions because of certain observations I have made about Nigerians and the topic of stay home Moms , you could say it is part of my "research."

I have been a stay home Mom before, after tge second child came (not affordable after the first one) but some things don't last forever because as needs rise, income is needed too. I cannot count the number of stay home Moms in my world - my boss' wife, my sis-in-law, colleagues' wives, my BFF, acquaintances, friends, neighbors, teachers' wives, etc so I have first as well as second hand accounts and no, it is not like Nollywood nor is it like what happens in homes where it is not an affordable choice.

I probably won't be back here till the evening but I would appreciate a response to the questions up there
For now, all the stay home Moms feeling a need to hide because you do not want to be ridiculed - ponder this, the person who claims to be a career woman and is ridiculing you might just be a money launderer for proceeds of her husband's 419 crimes. Keep your head up!

coogar:

may heaven reward you for this bit....
however, the modern woman will not agree with you concerning working part time or stayathome because her first reaction would be the suspicion that her hubby is trying to cage her.

the modern woman is now self-centred. all she's thinking about is herself & herself alone. the only reason she wants to work is to have a safety net in case a divorce ensues. it then begs the question - why marry at all if the focus is more on post-divorce than the marriage itself?

And if something happens to the husband and she has sat her butt home for 15 years then what happens to her and the kids. She starts all over again or hurriedly marries whatever man comes next because according to you that is how women should plan their lives? Around the careers of their husbands? SMH. The fact is that you really will not care. Your pride and I cannot even call it pride. Your "whatever it is you are feeling" is more important to you that your wife and kids living their lives to their full potential. Both my parents are in their 60's and always worked. They both have established careers and so do most of my family members. There are no people running to divorce courts everyday. Your posts just reek of selfishness. A poor trait in someone who claims to be the head of a home. With that mentality you can very easily cripple everybody in your family all in the name of "whatever it is you are feeling".

Chillisauce: You can have it all.
Career, family, money, husband, kids, boyfriends....if you want .

Some ppl love Being stay at home mums, or dads...others wants a career.
Someone who respect you will respect you, with or without money involved.

According to Coogar, you can't

Why do we always equate 'career' to money making?

Why does it not occur to us that some people work or do what they do because they want to?

Have we not seen people who will do what they do for free?

soul_glo:

And if something happens to the husband and she has sat her butt home for 15 years then what happens to her and the kids. She starts all over again or hurriedly marries whatever man comes next because according to you that is how women should plan their lives? Around the careers of their husbands? SMH.

why must we all think something would happen to the husband? then who mentioned sit at home for 15 years? i keep reiterating this is a temporary measure for the kids to bond with the parents instead of leaving them in the hands of strangers. the society is what it is today because majority of today's kids were trained by ekaettes.

The fact is that you really will not care. Your pride and I cannot even call it pride. Your "whatever it is you are feeling" is more important to you that your wife and kids living their lives to their full potential. Both my parents are in their 60's and always worked. They both have established careers and so do most of my family members. There are no people running to divorce courts everyday.

so because it worked with your parents means it would work with everyone else? get out of here with your tunnel vision. there's a difference between coping with a situation & thriving in a situation. for instance, loads of nigerian students passed exams reading with candle lights......that they coped with such does not mean it should be the standard situation.

Your posts just reek of selfishness. A poor trait in someone who claims to be the head of a home. With that mentality you can very easily cripple everybody in your family all in the name of "whatever it is you are feeling".

you need to learn the meaning of being selfish. a husband that wants to go it alone so the wife can manage the kids for the time being is selfless - same as the woman who's ready to sacrifice her career as a temporary measure to bond with her kids in their formative years.

i won't even waste words with a brainwashed specimen like you. you are a slave of the system:where working 9-5 is seen as liberation at the expense of innocent children. your 3 year-old daughter is probably at home now watching SAW 3 with the housemaid.

MMotimo: @Topic
@ Coogar, I'm curious.
Have you found a woman who shares your views

every woman i have been with shares my views. it was explained to them that more value should be placed on affectionate bonds than materialistic economic bond.

Is she Nigerian?

yes...

Is/was her Mom financially independent and/or career focused?

her mum left her high paying job to take up a flexible job closer to home so she can monitor her kids.

In your world, are there stay at home Moms?
Pardon me if I'm being intrusive. I ask these questions because of certain observations I have made about Nigerians and the topic of stay home Moms , you could say it is part of my "research."

in my world, i would say it's 50-50. even my friends with wives who work are the ones still footing all the bills. they refused to hand over their primary responsibility to their wives. a man should be a man.

I have been a stay home Mom before, after tge second child came (not affordable after the first one) but some things don't last forever because as needs rise, income is needed too. I cannot count the number of stay home Moms in my world - my boss' wife, my sis-in-law, colleagues' wives, my BFF, acquaintances, friends, neighbors, teachers' wives, etc so I have first as well as second hand accounts and no, it is not like Nollywood nor is it like what happens in homes where it is not an affordable choice. I probably won't be back here till the evening but I would appreciate a response to the questions up there.

i'll be expecting you later then....

For now, all the stay home Moms feeling a need to hide because you do not want to be ridiculed - ponder this, the person who claims to be a career woman and is ridiculing you might just be a money launderer for proceeds of her husband's 419 crimes. Keep your head up!

there's no shame in being a stayathome mom - the government through the media & the hardline feminists are the people demonising stayathome moms. i have a huge respect for women who forsake their career to raise their kids.....

coogar:

why must we all think something would happen to the husband? then who mentioned sit at home for 15 years? i keep reiterating this is a temporary measure for the kids to bond with the parents instead of leaving them in the hands of strangers. the society is what it is today because majority of today's kids were trained by ekaettes.



so because it worked with your parents means it would work with everyone else? get out of here with your tunnel vision. there's a difference between coping with a situation & thriving in a situation. for instance, loads of nigerian students passed exams reading with candle lights......that they coped with such does not mean it should be the standard situation.




you need to learn the meaning of being selfish. a husband that wants to go it alone so the wife can manage the kids for the time being is selfless - same as the woman who's ready to sacrifice her career as a temporary measure to bond with her kids in their formative years.

i won't even waste words with a brainwashed specimen like you. you are a slave of the system:where working 9-5 is seen as liberation at the expense of innocent children. your 3 year-old daughter is probably at home now watching SAW 3 with the housemaid.

@bolded,

1. How long should the wife stay at home considering the fact that 0 - 5yrs is crucial and they might not have 1 kid and the wife has to stay at home till the last kid is 5?

2. If the society is what it is because Ekatte's raise the kids, who raised the parents who now use Ekattes to raise their kids? Do you mean that the youth and kids now are worse than the adults (who were 'Mama' raised?)

Will appreciate answers to my questions without long story

Thanks in advance