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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / What If Spouses Demand Less From Each Other? (5285 Views)
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Re: What If Spouses Demand Less From Each Other? by deols(f): 4:06pm On Dec 05, 2013 |
Fulaman198: People should not marry one another based on material things and tangibles. By doing so, you are indirectly setting yourself up for failure. Just because someone is rich one day, doesn't mean they will always be rich. We can't take the things God gives to us for granted. I only portrayed the most extreme circumstance. It can never be ideal. |
Re: What If Spouses Demand Less From Each Other? by Nobody: 4:06pm On Dec 05, 2013 |
@deols,your money can never be for you alone when you are married,unless of course you don't mind making fresh fish pepper soup at 2.pm if the man demands it. |
Re: What If Spouses Demand Less From Each Other? by deols(f): 4:10pm On Dec 05, 2013 |
chaircover: deols marriage isnt that complicated . . .or it shouldn't be anyway and its def not a one plus one is equal to 2 affair. Yh..flexibility. I have seen rigid too many times though. I have the idea of prenups but changing my thoughts on it. prenups only become useful in divorce anyway. So why not just live rather than living on set rules and being careful not to break them? 1 Like |
Re: What If Spouses Demand Less From Each Other? by deols(f): 4:10pm On Dec 05, 2013 |
pickabeau1: In addition, marriage no be by force... which kin talk be this. Not for this thread pls. |
Re: What If Spouses Demand Less From Each Other? by Nobody: 4:12pm On Dec 05, 2013 |
Deols,better marry someone very modern,old school guys are disconnected from 21st century network, they definitely ll need constant wifey pounded fufu to keep their archaic selves moving. |
Re: What If Spouses Demand Less From Each Other? by deols(f): 4:14pm On Dec 05, 2013 |
TV01: @OP, I believe a proper understanding off what the dynamic of marriage should be would lead to a better phrasing of your poser thus; No. People talk too much about sacrifice. The condition you are trying to meet is thus high and it becomes harder for each person cos each is demanding sacrifice from the other. what if we just demand less? and not expect too much from the other person? |
Re: What If Spouses Demand Less From Each Other? by deols(f): 4:15pm On Dec 05, 2013 |
onegig: Thats the point. demanding less. Not in the attributes but in what they offer. |
Re: What If Spouses Demand Less From Each Other? by Nobody: 4:18pm On Dec 05, 2013 |
deols: There must be sacrifice for a marriage to work,there just have to be. |
Re: What If Spouses Demand Less From Each Other? by deols(f): 4:20pm On Dec 05, 2013 |
dayokanu: I agree with OP. People expect too much from their partner like they married Superman or superwoman You did capture my thoughts. I used to think of it in the way of what I can get that I must get. It could not work if I want all my 'rights' and expect understanding when he cannot get all his. |
Re: What If Spouses Demand Less From Each Other? by deols(f): 4:22pm On Dec 05, 2013 |
tpia@: It is a bad thing if you demand it in a particular way and expect that person to give it to you in no other way. It is like getting on their nerves. I am a good cook for example but i cant always give myself that. So suddenly, I'd be married and instantly turn to a Cooker that is everly ready to cook? |
Re: What If Spouses Demand Less From Each Other? by deols(f): 4:24pm On Dec 05, 2013 |
byvan: Yes. I only said that in relation to his post on needing to change the topic This one is not on sacrifice but sacrifice does happen but should be minimal |
Re: What If Spouses Demand Less From Each Other? by deols(f): 4:25pm On Dec 05, 2013 |
Fulaman198: protect her with your life. That sounds exotic |
Re: What If Spouses Demand Less From Each Other? by deols(f): 4:25pm On Dec 05, 2013 |
byvan: The typical Naija marriage is exhausting.i have a friend whose husband ll not touch food that is not fresh from fire.He comes home as late as 1.am,thats when she starts preparing his food,he doesn't eat anything preserved like dry pepper or dry fish, he eats everything fresh.He kept up his part of whatever deal they made by making sure she doesn't lack cash. This man na killer o..hahahhaha!! I wont do that. never. I think the sacrifice has limitations. |
Re: What If Spouses Demand Less From Each Other? by deols(f): 4:36pm On Dec 05, 2013 |
pickabeau1: hope u get what u want I hope u dont think it is hard to get |
Re: What If Spouses Demand Less From Each Other? by deols(f): 4:37pm On Dec 05, 2013 |
Toyinletstalk: When you marry for the things you hope to get from the other person, the marriage becomes a hole that your expectations when received fills the hole, when you don't receive what you want, the hole is there and every other way to fill it up with other things, won't just work. women have more respon what?? lol both have the responsibility jorhh. If u are a man, na ur type i go run away from |
Re: What If Spouses Demand Less From Each Other? by deols(f): 4:38pm On Dec 05, 2013 |
prissyluv: I think d first thing we should ask ourselves here is why do people get married? if I start to list why? the first reason gan gan sef..It is worthwhile. |
Re: What If Spouses Demand Less From Each Other? by deols(f): 4:38pm On Dec 05, 2013 |
byvan: Yes. I agree. friendship before and after marriage.na d best thing be that. |
Re: What If Spouses Demand Less From Each Other? by deols(f): 4:42pm On Dec 05, 2013 |
byvan: Deols,better marry someone very modern,old school guys are disconnected from 21st century network, they definitely ll need constant wifey pounded fufu to keep their archaic selves moving. Old school is like my grandpa's generation. Ere tete..lol Hmmmn. |
Re: What If Spouses Demand Less From Each Other? by baba11(m): 9:20pm On Dec 05, 2013 |
Fulaman198: |
Re: What If Spouses Demand Less From Each Other? by baba11(m): 9:30pm On Dec 05, 2013 |
deols: |
Re: What If Spouses Demand Less From Each Other? by pickabeau1: 10:27pm On Dec 05, 2013 |
deols:( I hope not... but a lot of posters here are so idealistic... |
Re: What If Spouses Demand Less From Each Other? by deols(f): 4:46am On Dec 06, 2013 |
pickabeau1: (He is a Fulani man. He will more likely get her a virgin. The pure heart part must be the big distinguishing factor. That is like the ideal if he is still connected to his roots. |
Re: What If Spouses Demand Less From Each Other? by pickabeau1: 5:15am On Dec 06, 2013 |
deols: Thats good.... Every human to their self |
Re: What If Spouses Demand Less From Each Other? by dayokanu(m): 6:18am On Dec 06, 2013 |
Whats wrong with traditional men? So all babes here prefer modern men who demand for open marriages, Annall sexx, who wears red jeans and metrosexual whose communication is via text messages and facebook etc Or whats the definition of a modern man |
Re: What If Spouses Demand Less From Each Other? by deols(f): 6:48am On Dec 06, 2013 |
dayokanu: Whats wrong with traditional men? Lai lai.thats not it. red jeans?? hahaha..lol |
Re: What If Spouses Demand Less From Each Other? by Toyinletstalk(f): 8:45am On Dec 07, 2013 |
deols: Lol I know. But women truly do have more work. I used to think that way till I got married and even after I did, life became better for me when I just accepted my responsibilities. It is easier. You will be surprised, it is a woman that will do all the praying, because you want your home and kids to be a success, some men are hardcore prayer warriors, while others are cold until they are"called". Men who help with chores are also few, you will be glad to marry someone who has been really trained by their parents to take up "cleaning the house" responsibility or sharing it. And if you can't stay in a dirty environment, you don't have a choice but to clean it. Child birth, if you live in a country where they allow the men into the labor room then better to an extent, still they don't have an idea on what the women are going through. What of Nigeria that say "men cannot enter the labor room" for what I don't know. Maybe if they did, there would be more empathy. I think there should be a peaceful demonstration on that. 1 Like |
Re: What If Spouses Demand Less From Each Other? by Nobody: 11:32am On Dec 07, 2013 |
Re: What If Spouses Demand Less From Each Other? by deols(f): 9:03pm On Dec 08, 2013 |
Toyinletstalk: I dont even know what to say. You are living the life..Nothing I say can change that |
Re: What If Spouses Demand Less From Each Other? by pickabeau1: 9:47pm On Dec 08, 2013 |
Where in naija men cannot enter labour room or note importantly will not enter the room to witness their own child being born Is there a vehement campaign to blackball naija males anyway Those that love us love us Toyinletstalk: |
Re: What If Spouses Demand Less From Each Other? by MMotimo: 3:51am On Dec 30, 2013 |
Another example. Look at the bolded If the foundation is faulty, what do you expect? |
Re: What If Spouses Demand Less From Each Other? by Nobody: 10:59am On Jan 30, 2018 |
Brilliant Thread |
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