THE RIGHTS OF OBIDIKE PAUL C. TO BE IDENTIFIED AS THE AUTHOR OF THE WORK HAS BEEN ASSERTED BY HIM IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE COPYRIGHT LAWS.

APART FROM ANY USE PERMITTED UNDER NIGERIA COPYRIGHT LAW, THIS PUBLICATION MAY ONLY BE REPRODUCED, STORED OR TRANSMITTED, IN ANY FORM, OR BY MEANS, WITH PRIOR PERMISSION IN WRITING OF THE AUTHOR OR, IN THE CASE OF REPROGRAPHIC PRODUCTION, IN ACCORDANCE WITH THE TERMS OF LICENSES ISSUED BY THE COPYRIGHT LICENSING AGENCY.

ALL AND ONLY CHARACTERS IN THIS PUBLICATION ARE FICTITIOUS AND ANY RESEMBLANCE TO REAL PERSONS, LIVING OR DEAD, IS PURELY COINCIDENTIAL.

FOR COMPLAINTS, ENCOURAGEMENTS AND
"CORRECTIONS", CONTACT THE AUTHOR: paulsonbarrypaul@gmail.com

NB: SOME LOCATIONS STARTED IN THIS WRITE UP MAYBE FICTIONAL. BUT THE PLOT IS NON-FICTIONAL

AS A FINAL NOTE OF WARNING: *I bind anyone from
plagiarizing this write up, they are excerpts
from my journal. you stand a chance of
being sue and incarcerated if you plagiarize
without my conscent*

You are all welcome, pls take a seat.

I started this write up on the romance forum, but I thought it best to start and finish in the Lit forum. I will try as much as I can to post 2 updates a day.

Journal Page 1.


PROLOGUE


June-December

The year was 2012, I was through with high
school, I didn't enter the university that
year bcuz I already set out plans on how to
finish that year and going to school wasnt
part of it. The year was 2012. I had travelled
out of the country and came back, I went to
set paths and make necessary connections
for myself which will come in handy in a
few years to come. After several months of
virtually doing nothing, I picked up my
books and started studying for my utme.I
knew School was good but it wasn't
absolutely necessary but then I see myself
in a country were by without education you
are not regarded as a human and
sometyms even with education you still
being played like a ball. I had big plans
that's far much greater than being
educated but I still have to study since it
will be years b4 I burst open that definite
plan.
I never remembered ever registering for
lessons to take an exam of any kind.I never
fail an exam, I always pass but I read too,
it runs in my family. There are two type of
individuals in my family, the intelligent
ones and the brilliant ones. I heard back in
school that the difference is that intelligent
students pass exam without much reading
(30%) while the brilliant ones read but still
50% of everything. I was the brilliant one
among my siblings, others were intelligent.
I/we never needed lesson tutors and the
sort.
My utme exams were fast approaching, it
was december, I was studying but very
slowly because I was lazy. I never liked
school, I knew even if I dont study I will
pass but I had to read so I could get higher
grades. Because of my laziness, for the first
time I opted to register for utme prepping.I
waited another two months then i started,
the day was 14th of January 2013.


Journal Page 9


1. IN THE BEGINNING.
February-March
I had walk into the class, i was new to this
type of learning and i was a little bit shy.
We were few during the first few weeks
after i came, then we triple and then we
became a small crowd of people from
different parts of the country.
all the gurls thought I was fine (handsome
and intellectual), some wanted to have me,
some in bed and others in a relationship,
some I knew admired but were to shy to
even say hi but I rebuffed them all, I
already fell in love not even a crush with
someone right from the first day.
Two years before i'd stolen a gurl's
username from my. elder brother's 2go list.
Shes the gurl am talking of, Folashade
Olufemi.
After lessons one faithful day, I walked up
to her and told her we'd met b4. she said
maybe but I look very familiar, I asked her
2go? she had. almost screamed "Yes". I
knew she knows but wanted me to come to
her first. From that day we became frndz,
but I wanted more than that. I was sure
fate had brought us together after 2yrs of
pinging 2go.
I had four close frndz, Dave, Chris, CJ and
Dami, they also fell for one girl or the other
in that prep, I was like a ring leader, I held
a record then I've never been rejected by a
girl before (which was very TRUE). I gave
this my frndz tips and how to create
opportunities to woo their gurlz heart, 2
succeeded 1 almost did but had to travel to
Aba for the exams. Meanwhile, behind
closed doors my frndz didn't know I was
suffering rejection from someone in dat
prep, I decided to lay low and didn't tell
them their boss record has been broken by
one of the female prep attendees.
I liked Shade alot, she was funny, very
goodlookin, she was chubby though not fat (if i am to decide
my fate about marriage i will never marry a
skinny woman ), i loved the way she talks
but the most intriguing part was her
humility. i didnt have a half of what she's
worth materiallistically but yet I knew I was
a proud chap then, she was too humble
you'll not know except maybe cuz of her
mobile phone.
Now because I was so sure I will possess
her, I forgot the do's and donts about
courting. I got bounced, the thing shocked
me but I recovered and went a second time
for the kill. I got bounced again, I havnt
seen my mistake then i went again but this
time my pride has gone on a road, I
begged this time. again bounced!

***to be cont'd****

***Cont'd***
Bcuz i dont freak dat much for the opposite
sex, I had dated a few (very few ) number
of gurlz. The longest which had lasted a
coupla years, Uju was sweet but due to my
naivty and listening to what very jealous
people's talk i had lost her (2009-2011).
After uju there was 17yr old Sadika, the
fulani, the shy and beautiful princess . For
those who believe mermaids xisits and
believe they are beautiful then you have to
see Sadika, your marmaids aint as half as
pretty as her. She was a goddess. I
remembered a close frnd of mine back then
that beefed me bcuz he liked her too, after
losing her to me he had recoiled and went
for Sadika's frnd Hadiza another fine one,
we were still frndz through the beefing and
afterwards. I loved Sadika like crazy, but it
was very short, we just werent meant for
each other. I never broke up with her i
couldnt neither could she, something
happenend.
"She was to be married out." Hadiza had
told me. "To a lawyer, twice her age and a
few years more m, she is to be a second
wife to him." I couldn't believe my ears, I
was raged like a mad bull. I thought bout
suing her parents and the supposed
husband to be. [Lolz] walahi I forgot I was
in nigeria were 70% of the citizens dont
have rights and i was infact part of dat
pack. Sue? Who was I to sue, I dont hhave
rights and money. Sadika is big enough to
make her own decisions why would she
agree to marry someone old enough to be
her father? Hadiza had told if it was her
she will run away. I was confused then,
wad Sadika trying to get back at me for
months of ignoring her? was this some kind
of prank?.
I later confirmed this was real. I knew many
countries at 17 you can marry, it wad very
legal, that was one point down for me. And
then if I sue no one will listen to me, even
if they will I have just a few tens of
thousand naira as opposed to the
supposed husband who was a millionaire
and a sophisticated lawyer thats like 1000
points down for me... I had to let go, I did
and dat was it I never heard from her again
up til this moment. Hadiza gives updates
then bout how Sadika was fairing, I had to
stop her from telling me bout a married
woman. (2011- never said the word "broke
up."

Nice one...following

In d building, grabs a chair. Waiting 4 more updates.


Nice 1 doh

Journal Page 15


2. MY PLEA FOR A CHANCE


March- April


This time I had knelt down on a bad road
fill with gravel, my knees burnt that evening
not bcuz of fire but bcuz of the pains of
kneeling on those small gravel stones, I beg
Shade. Just give me a chance to prove
myself. all this time I hadn't given
meaningful thought to Y she was rejecting
me. She had told me to stop kneeling on
the road, and if I dont stand up she'll walk
away. I did, stood up like a defeated king,
shamefaced!


I dont know why I had fallen In love with
her, I was trying to place reasons. she was
very beautiful but dats not y, she wasnt
thin she's gat body but dat wasn't y, she
was funny, humble, kind and stuff, but I
didn't think dat was y it was far more. I just
loved her and had plans to marry if she will
just take me as a bf first. I was 19 then and
if I told anybody I want to marry de will
laugh, I planned to keep her and shower her my
affection till I turn 26 then i'll propose, I
always planned and I follow my formations till I achieve that set goal.

I asked a frnd of her's her name was Bella,
for the first time ever I had asked someone
to help me with advices on how to melt a
frozen heart. Yes Shade's heart was Iced
you could feel the chills a mile away. The
frnd's advice wasn't sound, it was flabby I
needed fire and she was giving me water.
We all know Fire/heat melts ice more faster
dan pouring it Good ol' H2O. I had
dumped her advice in the next trash can up
ahead.


I never begged a gurl b4, this was
becoming serious. I decided to give her
space, gurlz wer still flaunting over me,
maybe she was seeing those who knows? I
started isolating myself from some girls
and kept a few buddies, ofcourse my four
frndz are my closest. I kept them. they wer
happy with the results of my tip to woo
their girls. All this time I didn't know y
Folashade was falling my shade, not until
months latr I started putting pieces of the
puzzle together. my plans of marrying this
girl was still alive and well, She relocated
from my area. things got worse.

***to be cont'd ***

Shade nah "stubborn gal ever liveth"

Journal Page 24

3. HURT FROM THE PAST.

Long b4 Shade moved, She had told me
bout her previous relationship, it ended
painfully, she was hurt but yet you always
see this girl smile. The breakup wasn't even
up to 1/4 of a year, it was still fresh. The
guy was a big jerk, he never cared, he
already got a new gf that week after the
split and he showed her his new gf. Like
forreal, one on one he had introduced his
nnew gf to Shade. I was walking her home
the evenin she was narrating her past
relationship to me, after telling me all that
happened I noticed two things.
1. I cant have her, but if I must I have to go
extra miles not a mile but miles. I was
suspecting the wall thing gurls usually say
"de cant give their love to someone again,
de have built a wall around their heart"
which was usually bluff, but this girl's was
true, it look so impenetrable. I couldnt give
up, I had begged, I never beg. I still had
that pride though.
2. She still loves the dude.
... I kept on, we talked on whatsapp. She
hardly ans my mesgs, and when she does
she takes 1/2 an hr to ans hi.
I was becoming frustrated, I began going to
evening masses immediately after prep.
Maybe to cool of the frustration, there is
always solace in church. I still kept me four
frndz, we talked and laughed and pranked.
sometimes we drank after prep. 3 out of the
five of us wer at the top of the class,
nobody passed me in eng,math and physics
only one girl that was challenging too her
name was happiness. we played ball too,
imagine matured guys will go and borrowe
ball to play after prep, it was all fun. I
played well, i wasnt much of a scorer but i
could dribble and lay up 80% accurate
passes all through a game. the gurls
noticed me I dont know if Shade did all
those times. I remembered one day she
wanted to com down from a high place (3ft
down) I carried her, she was heavy (note
she is not fat, just a normal lady but not
thin), my waist nearly broke cuz I was a
slim dude, carried her down and smile at
her pretending, she smiled too and then
walked away while chatting with her frndz.
her skin is very soft i had thought. My frndz
wer noticing I ws in love and was being
bounced.
I kept on pushing, I was becoming tired,
then I finally relented. I had good grades in
my utme exams, b4 we disbanded from
prep we had a send-off party. As usually
she was stunning with a blue jean pant and
a black top. I was always attracted to her
simplicity, that evening, strangely she
became close. was she gonna miss me? oh
she just pitied me? by then she had
damaged my brains to think clearly and
understand girls motive like I usually do, I
could have simply understood why she
became close but my mind was not blank.
Some months before During valentine's
day I had,for the first time in the history of v day I bought gift, a necklace and a very
nice hand bangle (I even jealoused that
bangle) I gave them to her in a case, she
had refused and I insisted. she latr
accepted after much persuation. after
collecting them, she had said ( I remember
the exact words)
"the bangle is fine Sha." and that was it,
she didn't appreciate the necklace and I
'never' heard a thank you for those gifts.
On that send-off day she was told to give a
speech, so the day before, I wrote down a
sophisticated speech for her. She did well
on stage the next day, I was proud of her.
Like I said she was jus close to me dat day,
there were two DJs for the event and I was
one. she had come to sit with me were I
was busy with the stereo, we talked and
laughed as the event went on, she laughs
and places her hand on my laps atyms , as
for me she has broken me to the point I
shuddered when I mistakenly touch her. All
this positive signals wernt Wat I was tinkin I
thought I had lost her b4, I was fully
immersed in making the occasion a bomb.
Bw the event I gave her a pic of me, I cant
quite remember but I think she said
something dat angered me and I nearly
collected it back.
She went outside one time during the
event, i slipped a package into her bag
along with two others she already has, i
knew her little sisters i needed to complete
the package so it will be enough for her
and her lil sisters. After the party she had
walked up to me, I had boozed a lil. she
said she was going home, I had foolishly
said ok instead of walking her home one
last time maybe it could have been the big
break i was looking for, maybe because i
took a little wine,but like I said she has
damaged me den, anytin she does den i'll
had thought its out of pity. I never like
being pitied, I am a man. she walked away.
That was the last day I spoke to her, face to
face. I never saw her again after that week.

***to be cont'd ***

Journal Page 31


3. LETTING GO


April- June. September-December



6wks later I left for my post utme in Fed.
Uni. Tech in Minna, i aced it again. That
night I had called callec shade for the first
time after the send off night and the next
night after the post utme day I called again,
we reminisced bout life in prep I told her
bout the love i had for her (which still
existed though never mentioned it to her)
and how I was coping. I prevaricated that I
had a gf now but latr said I was joking.
in an attempt to forget her, which up til
this moment is not forthcoming, I had tried
asking a couple gurls out but got
"REJECTED", I saw the interest in their eyes
but yet de said NO. maybe they knew I was
looking for an escape route and knew if we
go into a relationship I will just make them
suffer bcuz I still love someone else's or
maybe I just lost the drive to date right now
or maybe am not so cool anymore after the
batter from Shade. Well I decided to lay
low, stay single and live free. Am still trying
to forget her, I have come a long way
concerning that and I am happy bout the
results.
I got to understand her reason for rejecting
me was fairly simple, I wasn't caring about
her present fragile state. she just broke up,
all she need was for me to sympathetize, to
give her a shoulder to cry on and for me to
wipe her tears. But I was too proud and
selfish to notice, not until months later.
I super limited our talking on social
network to once a month, and I must make
her laugh that once in 31days. I spoke to
her just last night, I definitely did make her
lol and then she started the 1/2 or 1/4 an
hour reply thing, I simply typed "Have a
good nite rest." she didn't reply, I smiled, I
didn't care anymore even if I still loved her
somehow. I logged out and said to myself
"i'll be speaking to u January 2nd, a month
after today." I slept, till dis moment she
hadn't replied the mesg I sent, I once told
her she was mean. I meant it.
And to my four frndz de all latr separated
from their gfs.
One is schooling in Varitas, another in
UNN, I in FUTminna, the fourth might leave
for the Gold coast, the 5th I havnt heard.
***to be cont'd***