*picks pen*

I want you to do something for me, close ya eyes for a moment and imagine Adam and Eve were nigerians.

Please before I continue, I will advise that you shouldn't try this imagination session if you are not yet up to 18. The last time I checked anybody below 18 is banned from watching 18 rated movies - weather for your mind o, or on a TV screen.

With that said, let's continue

Now close one of your eyes and continue reading with one open eye; imagine Adam and Eve as Nigerians. As in, all black everything.

Of course Eve, as a confirm Niaja babe who is in a relationship with the only man on earth, will always count Adam's ribs first thing every morning - just to make sure another woman wasn't created when she was crashing.
Assuming one was, by mistake, created while she was asleep then she would be snopping under Adam's Facebook account to know which babe is liking his picture or commenting "cutie" under his profile pictures.
Of course kwa, Eve would have been so demanding that she would have always demanded that God creates a new iphone or that Adam takes her sightseeing in Haven.

*oya, lemme not bring God into this post. Their is a thin line between blasphemy and the other side*

Of course, if Eve was a niaja babe, when she first gets approached by the serpent - quickly, she will drag the serpent to the finest tree in the garden, pose in front of it with the snake by her side, raise her Iphone and pouts then snaps a selfie of her and the snake.
Do I need to add that she will upload it on Facebook then tag Adam, the serpent and maybe one of her favourite animals. Above the picture she would caption it something like: "OMG, just met #Stubborn_troublesome_duperslekky_serpent. #starstruck. #gardenofEden.#haven_rebel". Or maybe something like: #teamSerpent_and_Eve. #Chilling_in_the_garden #team_trees_as_background_rocks.

That's by the way.

Of course, Adam will immediately ping her from wherever he was - maybe settling a quarrel between Lion and Rabbit or something, and warn her to stop hanging out with serpent. Like a typical niaja girl who always thinks her man makes such a request only when he is jealous, she will ping back: "Calm down boo, he's just a friend".
Then Adam, sharp naija guy who is waiting for God to create another woman so he would start cheating, will murmur something like: "Mumu, she thinks I'm jealous of that lepka serpent. The nigger looks gay sef".
Then he will ignore Eve and continue to settle the quarrel between lion and rabbit.

Sure thing, serpent go be ladies, man so the nigger will start with something like.
"Babe, nice weavon you have there sha".
And Eve will laugh like one mumu and go like:
"Actually, it's brazillian"
Sharply, the serpent will move closer, smile then say something like:
"Which cream do you use, I heard that the forbidden apple bleaches well, plus the effect is uniform sha, no coke leg and fanta face things"

Mumu Nigerian Eve, her eye will shine and she will be like:
"Is a lie!"
And snake will go like:
"Is a true. Just try it"

As a naija babe na, she must play hard to get. Then when the serpent starts ignoring her she will go on nairaland or sexlife in 9ja and post something like:

"Please admin hide my Id and tell me when you post, I need your advise, pals. There is this guy that is asking me to do something. I played hard to get and now he is ignoring me. What will I do. Mature comments only, insults are allowed"

Nigerian Adam go dey for one corner, read the post finish and comment something like: "Just passing" or maybe something like: "Brb, lemme ask amadioha" or maybe: "yeahhh, first to comment. Brb"

Finally, Eve will make amends with serpent and eat the apple then her eyes will shine and when Adam returns from work, she will look at his "you know now" and post something like this on sex life in 9ja.

"Please hide my ID. I love my husband but his 'you know now' is too small. What will I do, I don't want to leave him. Mature comments only"

Of course, Adam will recognise the half eaten forbidden fruit in Eve's hand when he sees her, because him sef don dey eye that tree since.

His eye will shine:

"Heeei! Eve, You don chop the apple"

And Eve, typical niaja woman who knows her powers, will be like:
"Adam, if you don't chop this apple I won't give you do this night"

Mumu nigerian Adam who likes 'Do' pass instruction wey dey give am will chop the apple then as an igbo man, start strategizing how he will start exporting them.

Then, they go come cash them and plan will scatter.

*drops pen*