My fellow Nlanders, I have noticed with horror how some women now view the Marriage institution with disdain. Just last week, a
TV star, one of my favorites, Khloe and Lamar ended their four year stint in the marriage institution. Our very own comedienne Princess has also done same. The culprit was no one else but the monster "irreconcilable differences."

Such utter disregard for this noble institution is not restricted to celebrities alone. All around us, this monster is wrecking havoc.

Personally, I have not seen it but I would sincerely love for us to seek it and destroy it wherever it lurks. That is if it exists. This brings me to my question: is there anything like irreconcilable differences in marriage?

Sure there is; in cases related to "infidelity" esp. on the part of the woman. It can be unforgivable; pls don't bother asking me why!

Hmmmm

@Samkevie: isn't that what forgiveness is all about? Methinks infidelity can be forgiven. Couples can reconcile inspite of such mistakes especially if the guilty party shows remorse.

My dear OP, marriage is not a day's thing... I believe a couple should date for atleast 5 years before marriage takes place... Those pple u listed have their problems... Like princess, I think she rushed into marriage due to desperation cos I didnt hear anything abt her dating d guy she married... All I heard was "Gbam! Female comedian sets to marry soon". I aint really her fan so I dnt follow up in her personal life... But the divorced whc shocked me d most was that of Lamar... with all indications, Lamar had nfn to do wif d divorce... It was all Khloe's idea... I think itz d issues of having kids tho... My point is, those who got divorced didnt seem to understand each other well before getting married... Marriage is a beautiful thing... Those who get divorced aint even divorced... Those signed divorce papers means nothing... They got married infront of God and now they are getting divorced in a court... I hope those reading this get my point...

If they view marriage with distain, it is only necessary to ask questions BEFORE CASTIGATING THEM!
As a PAMPERED, HAPPILY married woman myself. . . HALLELUJAH . . . .with several WEALTHY, HAPPILY-MARRIED AND SUPER-ENDOWED BOYFRIENDS OVER THE YEARS. . . . I particularly view the marriage institution with disdain ESPECIALLY IN PLACES LIKE NIGERIA AND AFRICA.

MARRIAGE HAS ABSOLUTELY NO VALUE IN NIGERIA. . . .
The only unfortunate thing is that YOU NEVER REALIZE IT UNTIL YOU ARE EYEBROW DEEP IN THE SHYTE!

The first step is to ask WHY. . .instead of sitting on a 'high horse' and passing judgment!


THE QUESTION YOU SHOULD ASK YOURSELF THE 'OP' IS WHY YOU WOULD WANT TO KILL 'THE MONSTER' IN OTHER PEOPLE'S MARRIAGES. . . WHEN YOU HAVE NOT CONFRONTED THEM YOURSELF?

Yes! there is something like irreconcilable differences IN MARRIAGE . . . the things A COUPLE DOES NOT WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW!
It is called THE RIGHT TO PRIVACY from gossippy mouths and BUSY BODIES!

It is a subtle way of couples telling you. . . NONE OF YA GADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDEM BUSINESS!

Still on the topic. . . the rumours have started flying. . . like in my own case o! THEM GO WAIT TAYA!



Only a couple KNOWS why there is a need to split. . . if they do not wish to disclose that. . . THEN ACCEPT IT AS JUST THAT AND FACE YOUR OWN LIFE!

Shikena!

The only ground for a marriage to be dissolved in a law court is when there are irreconcilable differences. Meaning u have tried everything from counselling to therapy, etc. Then, a judge can grant the divorce.

Where is the monster

Chillis: Where is the monster

kill it boy, before it ravages that peaceful home you live in!

Lol!

Chilli 'n Coldgate, una need help!

OP, marriages will continue to fail because people hold in contempt words like: "duty", "discipline", "honour" "responsibility" and "chastity" whilst loving words like: "freedom", "independence" "modernity" and "liberalism".

maclatunji: OP, marriages will continue to fail because people hold in contempt words like: "duty", "discipline", "honour" "responsibility" and "chastity" whilst loving words like: "freedom", "independence" "modernity" and "liberalism".

Mac.............it is much more than that from my observation.

Those who uphold terms you listed up there do have problems also. Most times it is very little things that one partner ignores that leads to divorce. That is why communication is very important. You should be able to talk to your partner when you are feeling they are doing something wrong and the partner must be willing to listen.

onegig:

Mac.............it is much more than that from my observation.

Those who uphold terms you listed up there do have problems also. Most times it is very little things that one partner ignores that leads to divorce. That is why communication is very important. You should be able to talk to your partner when you are feeling they are doing something wrong and the partner must be willing to listen.

Ah! A breath of fresh air!

Chillis: Where is the monster

Dat pikin is ready for war!

onegig:

Mac.............it is much more than that from my observation.

Those who uphold terms you listed up there do have problems also. Most times it is very little things that one partner ignores that leads to divorce. That is why communication is very important. You should be able to talk to your partner when you are feeling they are doing something wrong and the partner must be willing to listen.

And what makes you think communication is not one of the duties of spouses to each other?

maclatunji:

And what makes you think communication is not one of the duties of spouses to each other?

That is open to a debate.


Also my response wasn't solely based on that word. There were other keywords.

onegig:


That is open to a debate.


Also my response wasn't solely based on that word. There were other keywords.

Are you kidding or are just posting to argue? The primary duty of each couple is to effectively communicate with each other. Every other thing is dependent on this.

^^ you're spot on Mac. Active communication is the key and everything else follow.

maclatunji:

Are you kidding or are just posting to argue? The primary duty of each couple is to effectively communicate with each other. Every other thing is dependent on this.

When i said its open to debate, I thought you were trying to categorise communication underneath duties as stated in the first post. That post was basically talking about the structure and categorisation and not the importance of communication. I guess i misunderstood your question.

I believe communication is vey important thats why in my first post i advocated for the "talk" and "listen" gestures.

onegig:

When i said its open to debate, I thought you were trying to categorise communication underneath duties as stated in the first post. That post was basically talking about the structure and categorisation and not the importance of communication. I guess i misunderstood your question.

I believe communication is vey important thats why in my first post i advocated for the "talk" and "listen" gestures.

I 100% insist communication is a duty of spouses just as it is one of the duties of managers in the workplace.

The mistake you are making is believing the word "duty" only means monotonous labour/work.

I cannot begin a lecture about the duties of marriage here but if there are many people who think like you, one does not have to look far to see why marriages fail- people just do not understand the duties/responsibilities attached to it.

maclatunji:

I 100% insist communication is a duty of spouses just as it is one of the duties of managers in the workplace.

The mistake you are making is believing the word "duty" only means monotonous labour/work.

I cannot begin a lecture about the duties of marriage here but if there are many people who think like you, one does not have to look far to see why marriages fail- people just do not understand the duties/responsibilities attached to it.

I Am not mistaken.

I believe communication should occupy its own space and categorisation . Shows how important it is to me. You can always interpret it the way you want. Thats up to you.

Did hear you say lectures?

Oh really?

Come bring the lectures on. Am listening. So you can actually decide who fails in a marriage just based on semantics ? Am not suprised.

So anyone who has a contrary view to your assertions even if it were just based on structural differencies would run foul in the marriage institiution?

Mac, You can do better than the hogwash you wrote there.

Variety is the spice of life and i dont have to conform to YOUR standards or what you "THINK" to have a succesful marriage. Thank you

^I have never been afraid to make bold declarations based on evidence placed before me.

maclatunji: ^I have never been afraid to make bold declarations based on evidence placed before me.

And being courageous to state your so called "declarations" makes it a fact that people have to trudge on?

I am waiting for your lecture, you hear.

Let's see what you can come up with.

^You do not have to do anything, I have said what I said and you can take it or leave it. You are waiting for my lecture even when I have said I don't have the time? #Keeponwaiting #LOL