https://www.nairaland.com/1474833/what-hurdles-challenges-faced-before

https://www.nairaland.com/1534628/need-serious-advice-urgently

In regards to my previous posts, it is almost 3 months now that he has refused to at least talk to me or let know why this matter was handled this way. We were supposed to get married in less that 3 weeks. There is nothing I haven't done to apologize for my own side, gone there, sent messages, went to even talk to the mum. Infact, the last my folks and I heard from them, we did not even come to any conclusion, nothing as such. Just totally blanked us.

Just reading through all your posts... ℓ̊ feel like crying..

Am going through a heart break right now, so ℓ̊ know how hard it is to heal completely but you will surly pull through. Just as my mum will always say 'Ayinke, whatever you have lost isn't yours and whatever is yours you won't lose'

It is well with you sis.

Your last post on the previous thread says you have moved on

Cosmass:

I remembered the written sentence in bold. The friend called me today, but I ignored and not even thinking of returning the call. Stronger than before, would have entertained the call but NO MORE!

But now you are still waiting for his call, still apologizing still begging

Maybe you should force him to marry you then or pay him to marry you

It's better to marry by mutual desire than as a result of one person continually pleading and pressurizing
If he wants to marry you, he knows where to find you though I would suggest you both seriously re-evaluate the relationship first

.

Thought you moved on
You have to be strong girl,this life aint for softies
See when i was in school i was dating a senior in my profession,i was in 500 and he was already a Doc.words cant explain how useful he was in my studies
To me,perfect match was the right word to use.
He got a better job which he kept mute about
He relocated out of Nigeria for the job without letting me know
Got married to his childhood friend and i was notified through Facebook
I even saw him the day he was to relocate but never mentioned anything to me
He only said he was going for a seminar
It was hurtful tho,wont lie to you but i just had to be strong and tell myself that he wasnt a nice person and very inmature
I didnt place any blame on myself
A year later he called saying he was sorry and how he wouldnt have listened to his parents about marrying his wife
I told him to F^ck off
Cosmass even thou wedding date was fixed in your own case but please move on and Be strong
Tell yourself you can do it

Hmmmm


Familiar territories.

You've heard it all sis, move on and stop waiting, he never loved you and LOVE CAN'T BE FORCED!

You obviously don't handle disappointments well, so I'd advise you don't rush into a new relationship now; find something you enjoying doing to keep you busy and forget him. If I were you, I'll so forget him that even if he comes crawling I won't take him back.

While you are at it though, try working on yourself so that in your next relationship you won't come across as too needy and desperate; it's a turn off! BOL.

Love sometimes involves letting go.... When it is a matter of marriage, you will only set yourself up for future pains and regrets if you beg a man to marry you. Once a man says no, please move on with your life, another will come. Nobody's destiny is attached permanently to a person for marriage.


You were advised thoroughly in those two threads, yet you are still here lamenting over spilled milk. Why are you bent on dying there? Is there something with the guy you think you can't live without? Sincerely, If I were your dad, my blessings will not be on this union even if the guy changes his mind due to your relentless begging. I wouldn't allow my daughter turn herself to a cheap commodity to any man who wouldn't value her...

Abeg don't sell yourself cheap. However, you can keep begging if you think you are hopeless and he is the only hope left for you.

I wish you well.............

bellong:
Love sometimes involves letting go.... When it is a matter of marriage, you will only set yourself up for future pains and regrets if you beg a man to marry you. Once a man says no, please move on with your life, another will come. Nobody's destiny is attached permanently to a person for marriage.


You were advised thoroughly in those two threads, yet you are still here lamenting over spilled milk. Why are you bent on dying there? Is there something with the guy you think you can't live without? Sincerely, If I were your dad, my blessings will not be on this union even if the guy changes his mind due to your relentless begging. I wouldn't allow my daughter turn herself to a cheap commodity to any man who wouldn't value her...

Abeg don't sell yourself cheap. However, you can keep begging if you think you are hopeless and he is the only hope left for you.

I wish you well.............

They always like to set themselves up with pain and agony. I dont just know why some ladies like behaving like people without self esteem and worth.

Am sorry, a guy you keep begging would hardly respect you if eventually he marries you.

We can only wish her well just like you said.

Why are you doing this to yourself? Do you want to kill yourself because of a man that doesn't even know you exist. Pls move on with your life. He does not worth the stress you are putting yourself through.
Another man that will truly love, cherish and value you will come your way. Pls try and put yourself together.

Love also means not lying to someone that u love him/ her so dearly when u know u don't. Telling people the truth even when it hurts is also a tribute of love. This guy through his actions has revealed to that u two of u cannot stay married (even if u get married), why are u not getting it? You want him to fake it and lie to u? naija sistas una dey fall my hand sometimes for all this 'u must marry me craze'. Haba!.

@ OP the only way one can give you good advice is if you tell us exactly what happened. I will not advice leaving him until I hear what happened between both of you. The fact that you have been begging seems to me that you are the offender. I do not support your fiances approach to the whole matter but it could be as a result of the fact that maybe you have been repeating that particular vice. So tell us exactly why he stopped talking to you...then we will be in a better position to advice.

Aren't you the one sisikill lashed with tough love advice lately?

Sisi_Kill: How many times will he tell you to move on....you ask? Errr......Maybe if you aren't giving his silly friend an audience, going on about God will fight for you instead of telling the dude to mind his business, you won't be getting text messages telling to move the eff on.

Seriously, has it occurred to you that this close friend of his whose calls you wait for with bated breath to gist you about you ex's life could be telling your ex about the calls but instead of telling him he initiates the calls, he says you do? Did that not cross your mind at all?!!!

[b]Two men have decided to use your head to play and you are still asking silly questions. [/b]The next time that eejit calls and you don't slam the phone down after telling thanks but no thanks....then you deserve whatever you get.

I have children of my own and lord know I'd give same advice up there ( God forbid) .

You're on your own oh

OP, with this kind of desperation, If I were your fiancé I will RUN o. Before you choke me to death.

I know you are the type that will stalk someone to his death. Opkari.
Go and get busy, you have been dumped! You not the first and won't be the last.
This kin love fit choke person to death.

Chilli I didn't wanna sound mean , reason I erased the same advice you wrote up there before I posted my previous post.

( At this point, I will file a restraining order against you if the guy is my son) Hian na so so men no dey reach?

My dear, next she will start stalking him, maybe threatening any girl he decide to settle with, flashing and calling with unknown no.
You never know what desperation can cause.

You go receive unknown no for your phone tire, killing your battery. You know it's that person but he/she can't let go.

OP, I hope he has blocked your no. Don't worry he will come back to you when he is married.

This story is a wind-up. Probably some Arts and Theatre Drama student working on her first storline.

Theme: Obsessive Love.

Jide, I'm surprised you have't sussed her/him out. Nollywood tinz...

Chillisauce: My dear, next she will start stalking him, maybe threatening any girl he decide to settle with, flashing and calling with unknown no.
You never know what desperation can cause.

You go receive unknown no for your phone tire, killing your battery. You know it's that person but he/she can't let go.

OP, I hope he has blocked your no. Don't worry he will come back to you when he is married.

Men...see fresh plots!

emotional and domestic violence
using my 'dyke' on anoda woman
ignoring/neglecting me.
joins a cult
uses my child for rituals.
etc

Double post!

@op, apology, but this is the bitter truth..............your obsession is what scared the guy away. Guys appreciate ladies who are themselves, ladies who are not obsessive, ladies who free them, ladies who doesn't send them, ladies who knows her true worth.



Do you want the guy? If yes, give him some freedom and move on with your life, if you two are destined to be husband and wife, nature has a way of bringing you two together again. If he doesn't come back, a better guy will come your way, but never try to be obsessive like this guy's case.


Anything anyone gets out of desperation do not usually have happy ending.

It is well.

Cosmass must marry the dude,whether Ekwensu likes it or not,nah by fire by force, the wedding must hold .

Efemena_xy: This story is a wind-up. Probably some Arts and Theatre Drama student working on her first storline.

Theme: Obsessive Love.

Jide, I'm surprised you have't sussed her/him out. Nollywood tinz...

Annoying I tell ya

Oh my! Guys LOL! A lot of harsh messages. I'm not contacting him or contacted him since. I am only asking on here 'cos I wonder sometimes, what would have made someone after 2 years, wedding date set etc suddenly turn around and not just that, the manner he used was very mean, degrading, belittling and of no value. I did not cheat on him. I just wanted to hear from the men, even after pleading like a fool, talking to the mum etc, he refused to at least respect me a bit to tell me to my face, why, the issues etc and leave on a clean slate.
I have been moving on guys.

dinachi: @ OP the only way one can give you good advice is if you tell us exactly what happened. I will not advice leaving him until I hear what happened between both of you. The fact that you have been begging seems to me that you are the offender. I do not support your fiances approach to the whole matter but it could be as a result of the fact that maybe you have been repeating that particular vice. So tell us exactly why he stopped talking to you...then we will be in a better position to advice.

I wrote it in my previous post. We had an argument 'cos he kept ignoring me and so I took the laptop he was working with and struggled. He called his mum, who came over to the place and reported me to her. I do not know why he stopped talking to me. I have pleaded and done every single thing like a fool. He did not tell me anything.

Waste of breath

Cosmass: Oh my! Guys LOL! A lot of harsh messages. I'm not contacting him or contacted him since. I am only asking on here 'cos I wonder sometimes, what would have made someone after 2 years, wedding date set etc suddenly turn around and not just that, the manner he used was very mean, degrading, belittling and of no value. I did not cheat on him. I just wanted to hear from the men, even after pleading like a fool, talking to the mum etc, he refused to at least respect me a bit to tell me to my face, why, the issues etc and leave on a clean slate.
I have been moving on guys.
I wrote it in my previous post. We had an argument 'cos he kept ignoring me and so I took the laptop he was working with and struggled. He called his mum, who came over to the place and reported me to her. I do not know why he stopped talking to me. I have pleaded and done every single thing like a fool. He did not tell me anything.

I think the situation bothers on disrespect and different personalities. This is what i deduced.

Your Fiance is..
1, An introvert

2, Too close to his mum and family ( A man needs to emotionally and physically separate from his family before he can build a new home)

3, He is the type that takes perceived slights very serious and do not forgive easily sometimes.

4, He has warned you about this particular attitude of nonchalance from you several times to no avail, therefore he now thinks that you take him for granted.

5, He is a careful meticulous person

You on the other hand are...

1, An extrovert..

2, Carefree playful person

3, You are taking him for granted without knowing it.


Here's my advice....


First, decide with all these difference in personality whether you can marry such a person and live with him for the rest of your life.

Secondly, Find out why you are attracted to him. What are those qualities you love about him . This call for serious soul searching.

Thirdly, after you have successfully navigated through the second point , then make up your mind whether you should go for him or not considering that it it not going to be easy. If he is a serious christian, approach his pastor and pour out your heart.

If he is not a serious christian , approach anyone (not his family members) who he has a lot of respect for and pour out your heart.

After that make your appeal to him face to face......in all this make sure you really love him before you embark on all this if not when he finally takes you back you may find yourself resenting him.

And avoid repeating same mistakes with him.


Finally, follow your love....don't mind what you hear on the forum here.....many of them are wimps in real life.

GOODLUCK!

dinachi:
I think the situation bothers on disrespect and different personalities. This is what i deduced.
Your Fiance is..
1, An introvert
2, Too close to his mum and family ( A man needs to emotionally and physically separate from his family before he can build a new home)
3, He is the type that takes perceived slights very serious and do not forgive easily sometimes.
4, He has warned you about this particular attitude of nonchalance from you several times to no avail, therefore he now thinks that you take him for granted.
5, He is a careful meticulous person
You on the other hand are...
1, An extrovert..
2, Carefree playful person
3, You are taking him for granted without knowing it.
Here's my advice....
First, decide with all these difference in personality whether you can marry such a person and live with him for the rest of your life.
Secondly, Find out why you are attracted to him. What are those qualities you love about him . This call for serious soul searching.
Thirdly, after you have successfully navigated through the second point , then make up your mind whether you should go for him or not considering that it it not going to be easy. If he is a serious christian, approach his pastor and pour out your heart.
If he is not a serious christian , approach anyone (not his family members) who he has a lot of respect for and pour out your heart.
After that make your appeal to him face to face......in all this make sure you really love him before you embark on all this if not when he finally takes you back you may find yourself resenting him.
And avoid repeating same mistakes with him.
Finally, follow your love....don't mind what you hear on the forum here.....many of them are wimps in real life.
GOODLUCK!

Sent you an email.

From frying pan to fire!

Very shameful.
No wonder men treat some ladies like trash. They deserve it.

We r waiting for another thread.
Oh, this might be d last cos I can c u finally wanna move on with a new admirer.
All d best to u 2.

ypepe: From frying pan to fire!
Very shameful.
No wonder men treat some ladies like trash. They deserve it.
We r waiting for another thread.
Oh, this might be d last cos I can c u finally wanna move on with a new admirer.
All d best to u 2.

What is the benefit of being harsh? What is about this thread that would make you/others harsh? Did I post about reconciling with him or begging or what Also who is the new admirer? Is it because I said I sent a poster an email. I sent in regards to what he was asking about the relationship, didn't not want to write another long story on here.

ypepe: From frying pan to fire!

Very shameful.
No wonder men treat some ladies like trash. They deserve it.

We r waiting for another thread.
Oh, this might be d last cos I can c u finally wanna move on with a new admirer.
All d best to u 2.

Oyinbo pepper Yellow pawpaw na you be this?
Asanwa

@all please you guys should leave her alone. Some humans need to experience life before they can learn. From what i can gather she is young so she needs to be heartbroken more before she understands what you are telling her. It is her type that end up being a relationship expert after so many heart-breaks. She really wants (needs) that guy, so she would not listen to those of you that are against him, but someone like dinachi. Come to think of it, that guy is really missing out on her, she really loves (loved) him.

Cosmass:
What is the benefit of being harsh? What is about this thread that would make you/others harsh? Did I post about reconciling with him or begging or what Also who is the new admirer? Is it because I said I sent a poster an email. I sent in regards to what he was asking about the relationship, didn't not want to write another long story on here.

My dear please don't mind them! These are the fake nairaland feminists who do not believe in the institution of marriage. It pains them to no end that you DARE say that you love your fiance. How dare you love him when they are available! If you want to ever settle down, stay far away from their kind. Shalom