1. I will always remember to write 2014 instead of 2013.

2. I will do less laundry this year and use more deodorant.

3. I will stop considering other people’s feelings when they so obvious don’t consider mine- if that unwashed fellow sits next to me again, I’ll tell him he stinks!

4. I will heed my doctor’s advice by doing more exercise this year in order to KEEP FIT. May God strengthen madam to be able to cope in the bedroom.

5. I will not sit in my living room all day in my nightdress. I will move my computer table to the bedroom.

6. I will not post anything that will threaten the unity of my country or is considered anti-government. I will only share the status of Asari Dokubo, el Rufai, Lai Mohammed, Edwin Clark, Tunde Bakare et al.

7. I will heed madam plea by spending less time on my LAPTOP at home. I will only use desktop, i-pad, android and blackberry..

8. I will watch less of sport this year. I will only watch Premier League, FA Cup, UEFA Champions League, 2014 World Cup, Tennis and athletics.

9. I will not bore my boss with the same excuse for taking leave. I will think of some more creative excuses.

10. As a Chelsea fan, I will support and pray for the success of all European football clubs this year........... [s]except Arsenal, Man United, Man City, Liverpool, Bayern Munich, Barcelona, Real Madrid and Atletico Madrid[/s]

So help me God.