I MEAN I HAVE BEEN DATING THIS MAN FOR 1 YEAR NOW AND HE TOLD ME HE WAS MARRIED BUT HAS A LOT OF PROBLEMS WITH HIS WIFE AND SHE IS ASKING FOR A DIVORCE
THEY HAVE FILED THEIR CASE WITH THEIR RESPECTIVE LAWYERS BUT WAITING FOR THE PROCESS TO BEGIN
HE IS BEEN BEGGING ME TO STAY WITH HIM A BIT MORE - THAT EVERYTHING WILL BE FINALIZED SOON
AM A YOUNG GIRL AND DONT KNOW IF THIS IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO,I MEAN GETTING MARRIED TO HIM BECAUSE HE KEEPS BEGGING ME TO WAIT FOR HIM
SOMEONE PLEASE

Personally,NO AND A RESOUNDING NO,i wont and cant
1 kid,we going to have a talk.
2 kids,we are surely going to have a very long talk.
3 kids,no way,i go commot ma shoes tear race.

How Young are YOU?

If he is waaaaaaaaaaay too older than You, THEN HELL NO!!!

They have problems and yet they have 3kids! Wat if there were no problems? Girlfriend, think.

leave the man alone.
he already has a family.
problems in a relationship come and go.
let the children grow up with father and mother.

Ew No.

Look for less baggage.

do what you think is best for you with love all is possible.

Well it depends on what age i am.
If i am like in ma thirties and maybe have a kid or two already, i may consider the man.

However, if am just startin ma life - no way.
He is nearly divorced and he has three kids, no thats too many kids and when we do get married, he will be using part of our money to pay child maintenance am not saying its bad but thats just a bit much for me.

U've been with him for a year? and he's married? been with him as who? friend, lover? U're one of the reasons the marriage broke up. U're one of the reasons the woman is running away because u have made her husband disloyal.
you knew he's married and yet, u stuck with him for a year. Don't worry, the wife will soon leave for u to come in. Then, pasan ti won fi na iyaale nbe laja fun iyawo. hope u understand.

mohawkchic:

~The Answer lies within You!! It's certainly not a commitment to make if you have doubts of how much you'll willing to give selflessly. . not only will you be a part of the man's life,you'll have to be a part of his childrens life as well!! A challenging Decision no Doubt about it, but in the name of Love a lot worse has been conquered!!


~Do NOT however rush into marriage straight after his divorce!!!


~Do You Love this man enough to Love his children as well?You will be Expected To love & care for those kids as if they were your own!! have you met the kids before?


~Are the kids at that age where they'll blame you their parents Divorce?

@poster
think it ll do well for you and your future to read these comments and reflect n act upon it

Whilst many here cant see past themselves and the 3 kids, there's a very sensible post here.

zayhal:

You've been with him for a year? and he's married? been with him as who? friend, lover? You're one of the reasons the marriage broke up. You're one of the reasons the woman is running away because u have made her husband disloyal.
you knew he's married and yet, u stuck with him for a year. Don't worry, the wife will soon leave for u to come in. Then, pasan ti won fi na iyaale nbe laja fun iyawo. hope u understand.

God bless you zayhal.

yeye woman dey share another man husband. She will also never have a settled family because her home will be destroyed in the same way she destroyed another woman's home

Is he really getting a divorce cos things aint going well in his marriage, cos marriage, i blv is full of ups and downs, and most of the downs cld be dealth with, however, when one partner see another grass that "he thinks" is greener, then there are chances that he/she wouldn't wanna discuss the problem any further, and the only thing that will make sense to him at that point will be to leave, so sister, be sure, you are not the reason why he wanna leave and get a divorce.
The number of kids he has got has nothing to do with love, if you truely loves him and if you are not the reason why those kids will be going to bed every night without their father reasding them some bedtime stories.
But i am sure you know what to do, so do the right thing.
Good luck

@SeanT21
am 24 thanks a lot for your comment.

@mohawkchic the kids are 13,11,8
i am really confused,a month ago i made up my mind to dump him but he wept a lot and begged me so much to be patient,am gonna be okay with the kids cuz i have been taking them out once in a while and they seem to like me but am really not sure of what to do

@Gsawlah
i have been trying to think but its hardto dump this guy

You've been with him for a year? and he's married? been with him as who? friend, lover? You're one of the reasons the marriage broke up. You're one of the reasons the woman is running away because u have made her husband disloyal.
you knew he's married and yet, u stuck with him for a year. Don't worry, the wife will soon leave for u to come in. Then, pasan ti won fi na iyaale nbe laja fun iyawo. hope u understand.


i have been with him as a lover.i am not close to the reason why he is breaking up with his wife,they have had problems way before i met him.disloyalty is not a point as they do not even make love to themselves,they leave in seperate rooms and they are very okay with it
Its a strange union between them and writings can't finish explaining it but with all these am getting on nairaland,i think am going to take the bold step before this year runs out to let go of him.

Thank you to everyone who had something wise to say.Lets keep posting and keep nairaland moving.

Does the woman know that you take her kids out? If she does, does she know your relationship with her husband? How old are the kids? Are they old enough to know U're their mum's rival and yet like u anyway? If they've (the couple) been having problems before U came on the scene, don't you think their problem gets compounded with your presence? Instead of the man to look for solutins to his family problem, he jumps out to seek for succour. How'll d problem get solved then? Men like this are dangerous and'll never change. If U eventually marry him and a little problem arises, he'll go look for another sisi to cry to.
     It's a different case if U'd met him after the divorce took place but not before. It's a good thing u decide to let go of him. You should also advise him to go and make peace with the mother of his kids.   May God provide u with ur own man as soon as U want it.

Sexybabe, think very well before you enter into this hell marriage, men wud never tell u genuine reason why they are asking their wives to leave but the pity side of the whole story. But mind you, many of them go back to their wives in future. WHAT IS GOING TO BE UR GAIN?. Marriage is not for material things alone but is to be enjoying forever. Pray very well, God will open your eyes of understanding. Good luck

@teetee
thanks a lot dear,i will keep holding on and thanks a lot,i totally agree with you,i mean i have read over the posts
3 is a lot and i am not sure i will be able to cope with the kids fully
i will also keep praying

Oh double HELL NO, he's gonna leave me with a kid and divorce me still, NOPE i cant marry such a man, but if he has one, yes and never was married, yes

I say gal u is wasting yo time with this man, run and dont look back, if he's leaving his wife cos of u, wat makes u think he's not gonna do the same to u. RUuuuNn and dont look back, plus aint u ever heard dat a good husband never leaves his wife, he'll keep telling u ol sort of things and lies, and u will waste yo time and yrs with him waiting for da divorce, grow some sense and smell the coffee.

:

I MEAN I HAVE BEEN DATING THIS MAN FOR 1 YEAR NOW AND HE TOLD ME HE WAS MARRIED BUT HAS A LOT OF PROBLEMS WITH HIS WIFE AND SHE IS ASKING FOR A DIVORCE
THEY HAVE FILED THEIR CASE WITH THEIR RESPECTIVE LAWYERS BUT WAITING FOR THE PROCESS TO BEGIN
HE IS BEEN BEGGING ME TO STAY WITH HIM A BIT MORE - THAT EVERYTHING WILL BE FINALIZED SOON
AM A YOUNG GIRL AND don't KNOW IF THIS IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO,I MEAN GETTING MARRIED TO HIM BECAUSE HE KEEPS BEGGING ME TO WAIT FOR HIM
SOMEONE PLEASE

This is an old and tired story. Even if this man leaves his wife, he's going to have no respect for you whatsoever. I know several women doing (or have done) the same thing as you. It's always the same story of him just needing to do the paperwork. Waiting for the process? Does he have a court date? Even if he did, you are wrong backwards, forwards, up and down. A year from now he'll be singing the same tune. and if you think you're so lucky to have him, wait until the wife gets her share. If they're in America or Great Britain rest assured he won't just walk away.

That is Adultery and no one would like to displease God

@ Topic

No I can't but then again everyone isn't the same,. . , . . .

sexibabes:

@teetee
thanks a lot dear,i will keep holding on and thanks a lot,i totally agree with you,i mean i have read over the posts
3 is a lot and i am not sure i will be able to cope with the kids fully
i will also keep praying

praying for what?
you've been having trysts in the bed of a married man and you still want to "pray"? To who?

I wonder?
she my have already married the man and delivered triplets sef
The brady bunch

Lol. Yes funny how she put PRAY in there.

Please marry the man.
The next woman is waiting to take him away from you.
A few years later, you will go online and tell people how evil men are without mentioning what you also did in the past.

Women tend to reap what they sow

if u love him why not with love all things are possible but be very very i mean very ready for baby mama drama and stepkids if they are still very young unless they are grown up and moved out then its less complicated.how old are his kids?