Ok so I introduced ma boyfriend to ma mom and she absolutely flipped because' he comes from an Islamic background and we are ardent christians. She will absolutely not hear about us but we're really in love andplan to get married someday.

What do I do now? Somebody please!

My friends often say that love is more magnetic than the earth's centripetal force!

Food for thought:

Religion or not, it all boils down to just one thing: YOU! Whether your parents, friends or other close contacts advise you one way or the other, you'll find this romantic "love" more compelling as the driving force in whatever decision you make.

There are lots you and I as Christians don't understand about Islam. The Bible urges that we get married to Christians; but it is understandable that in Islam, Muslim men are permitted and encouraged to marry Christian women; but Muslim women are not permitted to marry Christian men. At the cross-roads is the pivotal question: who and what really matters the most to you - Christ the Saviour or Muhammad? If Jesus doesn't matter that much, girl do your thing. Your boyfriend is not pushing you to renounce your faith, I guess; and it's up to you to handle the future that follows your getting married to him.

One friendly note: getting married to someone you dearly have fallen in love with, but who doesn't follow your religious convictions, will NOT send you to hell (as long as he's not asking you to renounce Christ - that is what will fetch the big trouble). The Bible doesn't promise, however, that such a marriage will be happy and trouble-free, and costly sacrifices will be encountered in such connections. Anyway, don't let this scare you - just think deeply about this most important issue; and may I encourage you to evaluate your relationship with Jesus, and consider if it does not matter in any decision you make in life.

My prayers are with you.

I don't think religion should be a disturbing factor in getting married to the one you truly love.

Well it depends on the people. How important is religion (& spirituality) to them? If you're dating, ahhh, no biggie!

But if you're talking marriage both partners should be open, honest, even forward about issues such as food/diet, lifestyle, pets & children.

For instance, is your honey gonna freak if you try & own a cat? (I have Muslim friends who are staunchly anti-pet.)
What will the kiddies be named? What is their religion?
Will the go to Catholic school? Or is this unacceptable?
And so forth. . .

There are some pages on NL about this issue. I'd read them just to learn more about successful & unsuccessful experiences.

But since you brought it up, are you strong enough (as in a stubborn, loner enough) to withstand parental pressure? Is he? Good luck!

religion is really important. you guys might act like it aint nothing but the minute you get married. the coin turns its other side. it is either he says y'all will be muslim cuzz he is the head or you will say you want y'all to be xtian cuzz u went against your parents will. and whatever you do, try not to make your peps curse u cuzz of the unhappiness. no matter what, i believe they have a reason for saying no cuzz of his religion. maybe they have seen some experiences and how it usually end up. he might tell you he is cool with it but the minute u say "i do", there aint no going back. if he insists you will be muslim, are you ready to do dat?

bear in mind that dating and marriage are a different ball game altogether. sometimes it aint all about love, the future matters alot when it comes to marriage. are you ready to be ronaldo( and play offensive) or roberto(and play defensive). your choice, your chase.

It is unfortunate, but religion cannot but be part of a relationship. If the wife is religious and the husband is not, there's no problem. But if the husband is religious and the wife is not or has a different religion, as the "head of the family" he will try to impose his religion on her. If she's ready to convert herself to his religion, no problem. Or else!

There's a Christian lady on Nairaland who is getting married to a muslim. She's going to convert to Islam. Wow!

atlest she agreed to be a muslim, her own case is easy. but if Mer-c doesnt wann@ be a muslim, then there is fire on the mountain.

The thing is, he's nat religious. He only comes from an Islamic background.
He even goes to church much more than he's ever been to a mosque.
Most of his extended family members are christians (just a few others and his family are muslims).
We've talked at length about it and he's ready to convert. He's REALLY willing.
But I can't seem to convince ma mom on that. She's believes that even if he converts now,
There might be a problem in the future; if not a problem with a him, a big problem with his family.
Ya kno, naming the kids, what religion they'll be, etc, (jus like Chinani said)

religion is important o.

I guess so yeah,
It's hard for me to tell him "hey dis ain't gunno work" tho.
How shud I approach it?

Do we know that the idea of religion being a barrier to a successful marriage is only isolated to countries like Nigeria?

Mer-C:

It's hard for me to tell him "hey this ain't gunno work" tho.
How should I approach it?

What are you planning to do?? Break the poor fellow's heart?

The guy goes to church much more than he does Mosques - you said sm'thing like that before, yes? I didn't know that earlier, and from that I presume there's a good chance you both can stick together in good faith. The heat from parents are hard to take, I know; but give it time - I guess your parents need time to see who he really is. Please, try not to let this love between ya both to just dissolve like that. Don't just gee-up like that. . . you both need time to sit and talk, understand the issues before you, find a possible way to plot your graph for the future. . . and if the equation doesn't add up, then let it go. Look at the guy much more than our public comments, please, please and please (both my hands are clasped in entreaty).

Well, at the end of the day - it's your thing dearie. BTW, I like your pix on your profile page. Just give this issue some more thought and see how it goes.

Thanks syrup! Will do jus that

I personally am not bothered by my future partner's religion as long as they don't ram it down my throat.
I'm a theist but I live happily and a secular humanist and I like it that way. I don't want their religion to infringe upon my life such as them trying to indoctrinate me.

@ lunafish
Well, I'm what y'all will call religious so
doesn't work for me does it?

Mer-c,

I suggest that you break it off with this person.

Listen to your parents.

Save yourself a lot of headaches.

You do not need a person to be your twin before you go with them but some things are just going to lead to big misery down the road.

Religion is one of them, despite all the promises of youth and love that it will never happen between you two.

iight Drusilla.
I'll give that some thought.
I wish all that u listed below was izy-pizy to do.
Man it ain't, it's definately easier said than done,

Mer-c,

Yeah, I understand that too.

yeah but I gotta do what I gotta do rite
poor guy *sigh*

Mer.C i am presently in the same situation as you are, but mine is a lot more worse. The guy is a muslim and a devouted one at that (prays 5 times, fast e.t.c). We both love each other dearly but his mum would hear nothing of him marrying anyone who is not a muslim cos he is the only son.

He still wants to go ahead and marry me, but i've told him dat won't be possible cos i do not want to be the reason he would disobey his mum and don't want be in the black books of 'my in-laws'.

I love him dearly and i so much want to marry him, but i won't cos religion is a fundamental issue in marriage (except of course both of you are atheists). No matter the depth of love u both have for each other, when the consequences of different religions start rearing its head, the love earlier professed would disappear like mist.

So my advice dear, listen to your mum, whether we like to admit it or not, they are always wiser than us. You'll meet sumone else and there would be no barrier to your getting married to each other.

Cheers gal!

Your muslim boyfriend's mum is not wiser than you, she's just prejudiced against you.

oh vinna, thanks gurl.
maybe I shuda put up that
we jus had a tete-a-tete, me and ma man
and decided that we should end things
now b4 things get outa hand.
now we jus friends but ma sista, it's nat
easy. We simply can't be just friends.
It's TOO hard! and he's beginning to hurt himself  
The story is long and complicated.
I would love to write it on here but it's too long.
Holla if u wunna know about it.  

cheers to u too!  

As much as love is an integral part of a relationship, so do spiritual and emotional compatibility.
A husband and wife that are spiritually on the same plane and pray together is 100x more likely to last longer. Apart from the christian-muslim divide, a relationship btw a devoted christian and a nominal christian is also likely to run into problems. Love does not last forever, it will either mature into genuine affection and companionship or depreciate with time. Factors that will determine the direction your love will take are these seemingly small problems of today:
He is a christian, i'm a muslim
He loves church, i attend only at easter and christmas
he is the tidy type, i don't care how the house looks
and other tiny little foxes that spoil the vine.

Genuine parents who care will NOT allow their children to marry outside their religion, they have better insight than we give them credit for. They have been married, we are just starting, they have seen what love can turn into, they have seen the cat fights and problems that marriage brings and they know that a couple with similar outlook to life are more likely to withstand the pressure. We have no idea what they are talking about, we think "love" can conquer all, maybe maybe not. Love will need the full complement of other factors to make it thrive. Water alone is not the sole requirement of a plant's growth.

Only love matters in a relationship.Every other element - including religion - is secondary.True love conquers all.

I believe so to jagunlabi.
I've tried being without him for jus a week
and it's PURE pain!!!
Can't do it NO MORE!!!

it is important,
a family that prays together , stays together,

Its importance cannot be overestimated i tell y'all.
Diddy n davidlyan have said the plain truth.
Hunnie, his going to church more than he does go to the mosque don't mean a thing, *do you think that'll continue after u both say 'i do?'*
unless u are want to change to islam, or he genuinely embraces Christ, there's gonna be a lot of friction.

Think deeply.

yes it is. It could be a source of conflict or unity later on in the relationship.

Faith is very important. Muslims and Christians have a completely differen't background so it can't work. God made marriage to be in his presence to ask him permission, and once you have married you have become one body which therefore means you should both be Christian. Also, if you marry or are with a non-christian, how can you encourage eachother to please the lord? you can easily get distracted, marriage and relationships distracts you enough from the lord.

A Xtian just cant marry a muslim it`s nt going 2 work but can at least date.What would b d names and religion of their kids,Mohamed or Emmanuel,Aisha or Mary,church or mosque?except one party is ready 2 convert to the other.

Religion matters alot don't want your children torn between choosing their father,s religion and their mother's

true talk, sooner or later, ne thing can happen as a result of differences in religion. Think twice!