MARRIAGE LINKS US TO ANOTHER,BUT IT'S UP TO US TO DECIDE HOW WE WILL USE THAT LINK.IF WE CHOOSE,WE CAN TURN THAT LINK INTO A TUG-OF-WAR.ALL WE NEED TO DO IS FACE EACH OTHER,DIG OUR HEELS INTO THE DIRT,AND PIT ALL OUR STRENGTH AGAINST THE OTHER PERSON.THERE ISN'T MUCH FORWARD MOTION,BUT WHAT LITTLE MOTION THERE IS WILL DRAG SOMEONE INTO THE MUD.THE SAD THING IS, IN THE END THE WINNER STANDS ALONE.BUT MARRIAGE DOESN'T HAVE TO BE THAT WAY.WE CAN JOIN HANDS ACROSS THE LINK OF MARRIAGE AND FORM A PARTNERSHIP. WE CAN MARCH FORWARD TOGETHER AND PUT OUR UNITED STRENGTH INTO THE JOB AT HAND.AS A TEAM,TWO STRONG PEOPLE CAN DO A POWERFUL LOT OF WORK AND THEY FINISH TOGETHER.
IT ALL BEGAN WHEN GOD LOOKED AT THE THEN-PERFECT PERSON HE HAD MADE AND SAID,"IT ISN'T GOOD FOR THE MAN TO LIVE ALONE"(GENESIS 2:18).SO GOD CREATED WOMAN AND WITH HER THE CONCEPT OF MARRIAGE.

I think this a quite an interesting topic to be discussed, and one which almost everyone is welcome to participate in – whether married, divorced, bachelors and spinters. I’m sure we all have something to say as to how we envisage what a healthy marriage should look like.

Even though a few folks like myself do not have so much practical experience in this matter, at least we could say a few things. A successful marriage should have true love and common shared interests between the couple. We are all different in our ways as men and women; but a man and a woman entering into marriage would understand that they are sharing a common life together for the rest of their experiences on earth.

Love, trust, respect and commitment are some of the commonly shared interests we all desire to have in our marriages – but it is the realty of life that challenge the true value of these interests and show us who we really are in a marriage.

Oya, over to others – make una say something!

Is like paradise on earth. It is what you make out of it too two poeple coming from different background building a home

Two best friends, sharing, caring, loving and growing together in grace and the love of Christ.

Basically, what god has put together, no one shall (and can) put asunder. This is what it is about.

Marriage is nothing like paradise on earth - please dont think that way so that you wont be disappointed.
It is not as easy and blissful as some like to paint it. It could be very frustrating especially at the beginning but it gets better with time especially if both parties are of one accord and they have unity of purpose and vision. It takes more than what we call love for marriage to work successfully. A lot of patience has to be exercised and it will turn out right.

In my opinion, it's extremely important that both partners have singleness of purpose, vision and beliefs. It helps to keep both parties having same focus and singleness of mind.

It's one of the reasons I advise people not to enter into inter-racial marriages because there'll come a time when that great difference will rear it's head and the partners will not be able to deal with it because they see things differently. it will sound unreal to most people until they get into the marriage and they regret it - I have seen it happen too many times.

I am not disputing the fact of what you have just explained but my key point is that if one can happily say in the mist of it all I will still choose this same man/woman over and over again that is paradise for me on earth

rubi:

I am not disputing the fact of what you have just explained but my key point is that if one can happily say in the mist of it all I will still choose this same man/woman over and over again that is paradise for me on earth

I concur.

Paradise. . || . . frustrations.

That's a case of sweet-bitter.


How do we set about fostering a healthy, successful marriage in the experience of life's difficulties? I mean, some people start out in love, enjoy the marriage for a while, and it seems like the last train station was missed along the way. Money? Ego? Compromises? Choices and tastes? How do couples tackle such practical issues - especially when the global credit crunch has really come home to some marriages?

Yes I understand you all I can say is that the devil is at work like the bible exposed him that he only came to kill still and detroy but as human beings we need to be a little bit more alert to his devices. Again as I encourage people grab

as much information as possible to the one whom you want to marry although you don't know people very well but there are basic things that you can hold unto that does not fade away easily in people

You can't tell a marriage is successful until after years of being together when both couples have the opportunity to look back, reflect and ponder on thier marriage/relationship and can actually tell stories about thier experiences.

You can however, telll a marriage is healthy when both husband and wife look fresher and younger everyday.

Actually, women and men who stay in unhealthy marriage look older and stressed quickly, more likely to show evident signs of mental illness/delusions.

So I suggest, take your time examining your mate. Don't rush or even better, don't get married as Paul advises in the book of corithians.

A healthy marriage starts at courtship.
You must know the person you're getting into a relationship with.
I don't mean knowing him in the biblical sense but being open to one another.
Talk
what are your plans
what are your expectations
what are your weaknesses?
Can you sincerely say you love this individual enough to spend the rest of your life with them?
Do you love him in his/her situation right now or for what you're expecting him/her to become?
Getting into marriage with projected financial expectations is disastrous
It's the cause of many a frustration.
we all know that financial stress is up there in reasons for divorce

marrying a woman hoping she'll become a nurse in the USA
Or marrying a man with an expectation that his business deals will soon produce millions.
Then you later find out she hates the smell of hospitals or he loses all he has in the business venture.
Are you ready to tough it out at those unpleasant times?

In response, I don't think that there is particular way to guage a healthy marriage before the marriage even starts.

I know people who did everything you describe yet did not marry each other or even worse, got and are now divorced.
Marriage is about luck and willingness to be selfless, people change and often times realize that they can deal with many of the problems/issues as no marriage is perfect.

But as I stated previously, there is an apparent way to guage a succesfull marriage and that is after years of being together. When the couples have the opportunity to reflect on thier expereinces.

OBVIOUS:

In response, I don't think that there is particular way to guage a healthy marriage before the marriage even starts.

I know people who did everything you describe yet did not marry each other or even worse, got and are now divorced. Marriage is about luck and willingness to be selfless, people change and often times realize that they can deal with many of the problems/issues as no marriage is perfect.

But as I stated previously, there is an apparent way to guage a succesfull marriage and that is after years of being together. When the couples have the opportunity to reflect on their expereinces.

If they didn't marry praise God.That's what courtship is supposed to do,to open ones's eyes and make him/her make an informed decision.
Regarding the later part,of course you don't expect a 2 paragraph post to define causes of divorce.
Take it or leave it,a good marriage starts from courtship.I happen to be speaking from experience,I have no idea what makes you think your barometer for measuring marriage is the right one.
Are you married?
The thread asks what a healthy marriage is like and you're telling us it takes donkey years to determine if a marriage is a good one or not.
So someone married for say 3 or 5 years is still in a limbo stage since the marriage has not reached the point of determining where it stands?
abeg

Looking at amazing couples I have met, although I am inexperienced in this area but I like to think that Marriage like life is a journey one that is traveled better with a loving and willing partner, a journey with roads that have the bumps of the benin-lagos highway but also a lot of the bliss you can find on the Lokoja Abuja highway.

Both couples understand what it means to rise from the ashes because THAT is what builds the greatest character. They see and appreciate the good that always comes in spite of the bad, know how to pick their battles and can discern the important things from the trivial ones. They know how important it is to forgive and to be forgiven because there's no crystal ball that tells us ahead of time which of the two partners in crime will need the support the most.

Like my parents I think that a healthy and successful marriage is one where the couples know that difficult times in this life are far better hurdled when you have a true team synergy to draw from - the strongest of which should be a solid, faith in their capacity to excel as a couple.

good points Chris.

Hence my argument in your concluding statement. I think that a healthy and successful marriage is one where the couples know that difficult times in this life are far better hurdled when you have a true team synergy to draw from - the strongest of which should be a solid, faith in their capacity to excel as a couple.

You couldn't have measured this without years of experience of being together.

Intimate (and I'm not refering to sexual intimacy, even thoughit is very essential too )


intimacy between both parties (whom I prefer to refer to as lovers) is what makes a successful marriage.