DEAR AMERICAN:

THIS LETTER MIGHT COME TO YOU AS A SURPRISE SINCE WE HAVE NOT KNOWN OURSELVES BEFORE.

MY NAME IS HENRY PAULSON, AND I AM MINISTRY OF THE TREASURY OF THE REPUBLIC OF AMERICA. IT IS WITH BELIEF AND TRUST THAT I SEND YOU THIS OBVIOUS AND SENSITIVE BUSINESS PROPOSAL TO ENABLE ME AND MY COLLEAGUES REMIT THE SUM OF USD$700 BILLION (SEVEN HUNDRED BILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS ONLY) INTO YOUR ACCOUNT. HOWEVER, I WOULD WISH TO RECEIVE YOUR PERSONAL ASSURANCE THAT YOU WOULD NOT SIT ON THE MONEY WHEN IT GOES INTO YOUR ACCOUNT. MORE IMPORTANTLY, YOU KEEP CONFIDENTIAL THIS TRANSACTION, IN ORDER NOT TO TARNISH THE CONFIDENCE REPOSE IN THE OFFICIALS INVOLVED IN THIS TRANSACTION.

MY COUNTRY HAS HAD A CRISIS THAT HAS CAUSED THE IMMEDIATE NEED FOR LARGE TRANSFER OF FUNDS OF 700 BILLION DOLLARS US. IF YOU WOULD ASSIST ME IN THIS TRANSFER, IT WOULD BE MOST PROFITABLE TO YOU.

I AM WORKING WITH MR. PHIL GRAMM, LOBBYIST FOR UBS, WHO WILL BE MY REPLACEMENT AS MINISTRY OF THE TREASURY IN JANUARY. AS A SENATOR, YOU MAY KNOW HIM AS THE LEADER OF THE AMERICAN BANKING DEREGULATION MOVEMENT IN THE 1990S.

THIS TRANSACTION IS GUARANTEED 100% SAFE. NOW WE HAVE FINANCIALLY AGREED, MY COLLEAGUE AND I TO ARRANGE WITH YOU AS A RELIABLE PARTNER WHO WILL ASSIST US BY CLAIMING THIS $700 BILLION. OUR SUCCESS WILL DEPEND GREATLY ON YOUR READINESS AND WILLINGNESS TO BE STRAIGHTFORWARD, SINCERE AND RELIABLE ALL THROUGH THIS TRANSACTION. I AM HOPING THAT YOU WILL NOT DISAPPOINT ME NOW OR IN THE FUTURE.

THIS IS A MATTER OF GREAT URGENCY BECAUSE WE NEED THE FUNDS AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE. WE CANNOT DIRECTLY TRANSFER THESE FUNDS IN THE NAMES OF OUR CLOSE FRIENDS BECAUSE BY LAW WE ARE PRECLUDED FROM DIRECTLY CLAIMING ANY OF THIS MONEY OURSELVES WHILE IN SERVICE. WE ARE ALSO CONSTANTLY UNDER SURVEILLANCE. MY FAMILY LAWYER ADVISED ME THAT I SHOULD LOOK FOR A RELIABLE AND TRUSTWORTHY PERSON LIKE YOU WHO WILL ACT AS OUR AGENT SO THE FUNDS CAN BE TRANSFERRED.

ON RECEIPT OF THIS MAIL, REACH ME IF YOU ARE WILLING TO DO THIS WITH ME. PLEASE REPLY WITH YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER AND ALL OF YOUR BANK ACCOUNT, IRA AND COLLEGE FUND ACCOUNT NUMBERS AND THOSE OF YOUR CHILDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN AND GREAT-GRANDCHILDREN TO WALLSTREETBAILOUT@TREASURY.GOV SO THAT WE MAY TRANSFER YOUR COMMISSION FOR THIS TRANSACTION. AFTER I RECEIVE THAT INFORMATION, I WILL IN TURN RESPOND WITH DETAILED INFORMATION ABOUT SAFEGUARDS THAT WILL BE USED TO PROTECT THE FUNDS AND GIVE YOU FURTHER DETAILS ON MODALITIES TO ENSURE A HITCH-FREE TRANSFER.

YOURS FAITHFULLY MINISTER OF TREASURY PAULSON

*note: Caps lock intentional for effect, original by Midwesterner in NYC*

I dont know whether to laugh or cry.

Damn FOOL!!!

SeanT21:

I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

Damn FOOL!!!

Haha, this is basically what the bailout is, an epic scam, the mother of all 419!