Chapter One: Who am I to Love?

This chapter will on a journey into discovering who we are how much we are capable of loving those around us. We will be taken through the importance of expressing our love to our partners and others around us for their maximization.

Love is a very strong controversy. It has many definitions and words might just not be big enough to really sum up what it means. Love is a word that means the most ridiculous things to a diverse number of people. What I call love might not be what you will see as love. So the question is; what is love? What do we understand as love? What can we really get from having it in our life?

American Heritage Dictionary describes love as a deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.

In your own understanding and experience, would you totally agree with the definition above?  It says love is “A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance.” Are all these true and applicable to everyday living according to His ordinances?

Love makes living a great life hard at times. Love makes things complex and sometimes simpler than it really is. Love is a simple four letter word but it is a complex emotion that one doesn’t totally understand. There are people that have tried to share what they know as love as simple as they can but it ends up turning into this huge emotion that consumes us and makes us what we are not most times. 

Relationships are built out of this emotion called love. Friendships put its essence on the emotion. Family and friends have based their existence on this emotion and God trusts us to do things with relation to this emotion. Many have tried to run away from it and any ignore it only to end up in its clutch when they least expect it. Giants had fallen as a result of this emotion. The commoners had come into greatness when touched by this emotion.

Love has no goal when you let it into your life. It makes no promises. It just wants you to be yourself and let it take its course. It controls you and drives you. Many will say that love is made for us to go into marriage. Marriage is a compromise. It is a commitment that partners make. Love doesn’t always end up in marriages like when people see two people seemingly in love they’ll start asking when the wedding bells will ring. There are people in fifty year old marriages that agreed to it just because it is convenient for them while there are people that get married for the sake of love only to hate each other two weeks into it. This is as a result of the misunderstanding of the word, love. So, what I am saying in essence is that, love makes and breaks. It is just a plan; how we read and interpret it is entirely up to us. 

The Bible says love your neighbors as yourself. This is a tough world so I can say it is easier said than done, but with he right kind of guidance that comes from up above, it is achievable. Many people struggle with love and forgiveness. We are all bitter and see the worst in people when we are hurt. I always say that a happy person will make a happier congregation or gathering as you may want to call it.

When the spirit is helpless and sad, the body and mind will follow suit and it transcends into behaviors and personalities. Someone that loves himself will never see the hate in the eyes of someone else. She is happy and she sees the good in the worst kind of people. She closes her eyes to the iniquities of others. Her happiness sinks into those around her.

What a person chooses to do to others is born out of what she is feeling for that person. The urge to inflict harm on someone else is done out of what the perpetrator is feeling for that person. Not appreciating who we are and what we are will make us hostile to people around us as we tend to take it out on them even if they are the only person that makes sense in our life.

The first step to a journey of making ourselves happier than we already are is to love who we are. You are thin, you are fat, you have loose teeth or even if you are poor, loving who you are and the potential in you will be a weapon to use to take you out of that zone. 

Like in the movies, “Conversation with God”, Neil saw the worst in himself. He didn’t see past his nose and the trials that befell him but God showed him how to look further than that food from the trash. He braced himself and goodness followed him. He finds himself by doing what he loves doing; using his voice to make a difference. He didn’t see the potential in himself. He would never had thought he would stand in front of people and tell them about how wonderful life is when you let yourself go and be rid of all the hate and embrace love.

So, acceptance is an important step to loving your life. You have the tendency to give yourself to love and make yourself an instrument for others to learn about love. Your smile is the key that will soften the heart of that foul-mouthed neighbor. Your kind words is what the world will notice when you let your love grow in yourself and others. You can love. You can receive love and affection but you need to understand what it means to you and indulge in the understanding of it and live by it loyally and truly.

Love what you are and others will join in your happiness. Happiness starts with when you sit back and say, “I am a very great woman. I am a success and I am made to be victorious.” It is self-declaration of what we belief in. Don’t live a lie and hide under society and ignorance and all that imperfections you think you have. You won’t have to set your happiness gauge on the society and what it thinks of you, you will set it on how happy and kind and loving you are from within you. Show the society who you are.

Love is in you, share it. Make it what you are about and let the light of his glory help your course.

Chapter 2: When No Should Mean No

We explore what it means to be someone else’s keeper. We will touch the topic on how we can see the dangers of our bad habits and the good prospects in our right ones.

Knowing how to stop ourselves from doing what is harmful to others is an important thing that every woman should indulge in to make a happy home and to be a better person. Willfulness is a strong emotion that makes living and life itself interesting. It is a necessary human potential that make us who we are.

Stop and check yourself when you know you are doing something that doesn’t seem right. Most people say they find it hard to turn things down. Many say that they don’t have the will to say no even when their life is dependent on the outcome of that decision. Women are strong-willed naturally but most of us loose this while growing up. We leave it behind sometime in our childhood or adolescence and grow up with that vacuum it has left in us.

No should always mean no. It is a very important statement that everyone should have readily available at the tip of their tongues. We should learn how to put a stop to something that poses danger to us, our family or friends. When we say no, we should really mean no. There is absolute no point in saying no to something that has become a habit that will always pull itself back to you.

Peer pressure is a social vice that people frown at. The issue is that peer pressure doesn’t just happen with kids and adolescents. When we let others rule our life and our thoughts, we are creating a path way to destruction or an uncertain future.

Our colleagues will always have an influence on us. The woman next door that seemed so prim and proper will always has something to hold over you but as an adult that knows right from wrong we should learn how to turn down favors. We have people looking on us to make decisions that will impart their life so it is up to us to give more care to what we say in affirmation to people’s suggestions.

Our experiences make us who we are but it doesn’t necessarily have to be that determining factor in the dealings we do in present life and on issues bordering on family and friends. Nothing teaches us more than what you made yourself. Mistakes are made for us to learn from so that when it happens again, we are prepared for it.

We should learn to know that the people that are most important in our life are our life itself. Who we are as parents and spouses is a very important role that is festered on us. What we feel, how we feel about issues, the way we feel about stuff and even societal acceptance and rejection has a way of reflecting on our relationships within our homes. We are the pillar of the home and when we have a dent, the crash of the building called the home is sure.

Selfishness is good but only when it has no adverse effect on our family and friends. A bad habit will always be a bad habit no matter how good you think it makes you feel. Alcohol is very refreshing and you can pretend to drown your sorrow in it but it doesn’t mean that thing that has driven you to the bottles will go away. Drugs makes us feel good about ourselves and our situation seem to evaporate but for how long? We have kids that love us. We have husbands that trusts in us to make their home a happy one. Whatever issues we might have to deal with, we should not let it rule us. Our family should be the most important thing in our life. What we are going through can be shared with them and yours is not the only one, it is happening everywhere.

Life is a gift and it should be treated as such. It is rid with complications and it makes us who we are or who we turn out to be. It is not uncommon for us a mortal to. The vibe that comes from our negative positions will always make us question how good the positive is. You will start to see the uncertainty in the things that use to give you joy.

Many crave worldly goodies with the claim that it will make life for their kids easier but I would tell you this, deep down it is fear of letting yourself down and not totally caring for your kids. You want to be like Miss A. or Mrs. B. when you know quite alright that what these people have is not what you need thus not what you should have. Learn not to be selfish in your deeds as selfishness brings nothing but destruction to those that indulge in it.

God is not concerned with your worldly possessions. Your pledges to the church shouldn’t be because Mrs. Woolworth gave the church a bus so you must give the church thousands of dollars musical instrument. Then it will have no meaning any significance.

We should know what holds us together and respect it and not let anything that we might pick up from the people we relate with outside the home destroy us.

You are you. When things get tough you need to deal with it solely for the reason of not affecting others in our life. The consciousness of your actions should be enough to steer you away from making decisions that will make your life miserable in the end. We are free spirited and have out life ahead of us when we know what is best for us while considering what is worst for others and staying away from it.

Everyone is prone to satisfying their emotions be it that of pleasure or pain; and at times it might happiness and sadness but one thing remains, these emotions might lead us to do things we won’t ordinarily do.

The soul craves to be fed with something that will make it grow and thus we should be careful that we don’t end up feeding it with the wrong things that might make our journey to a self-sufficient life a hard one.

Say no for as many times as necessary, it might just be what you need to make life easier and happier, nobody knows where one’s happiness truly lies unless you find it.

Hmmmm...I love dis

^^ thank you very much.

Chapter Three: Who Is God To You?

Trying to understand what God is all about has posed a big problem to a lot of people. Most people are faced with the confusion of understanding of the word itself and maintaining the belief in the words as stated in the holy books.

The question out there is whether God really exist. How possible is it that He answers the prayers of some people and leaves others to suffer for a long time? We ask why He rids many of tribulations and leave many that supposedly serve him to do evil using His name. Who and what we want God to be is entirely up to us. We all have reasons for being close to Him and what we expect from Him at times of trouble.

Who is this? Is He a person or a deity or what? He has been described as a lot of things, an example is Him being an impersonal life-force to some people while others see Him as the creator of human kind. He is Allah. He is Jupiter. He is Brahma. He is Zeus. He is Yahweh. He is Jehovah.

When critically viewed, it all comes down to how He affects our life. It helps for us to know what we expect from Him and what we want Him to be in our life. Human seems to want to be associated with a supreme being.

We need something to belief in so as to make sense of our existence in this world. We want guidance. We want to be able to liken our actions to something that makes sense to us. We want to count and our life to worth something.

Humans are nothing if not for God. We are the manifestation of His love for something good. His heart is pure and His intention before creation was to make something out of His abundant love and grace. Through Him we are here. It doesn’t really matter what we think or what our recent day research say. Nothing is born out of thin air, even the air is a miraculous happening.

God is always good. The life we live may make us doubt this though, but whose fault is that?. He does everything out of the goodness of His heart. Being good doesn’t really mean you do everything that makes people happy. We might do something that might not go down well with people even if it is for their good. That is how God is sometimes. When we know that something is going to be harmful to someone and we remove it, the person might hate us for a long time but at the long run, they will understand that it is all for good.

What we make of our belief is something that guides our ways and thinking. Having faith in what we believe in is not something we can just switch on and off as we please. You cannot believe in God today and doubt His existence tomorrow. In that moment of doubt, we should know that there is something wrong with that picture.

Our daily life is rid with issues that we ordinarily can’t understand or explain. We lose our jobs, the kids suffer from serious diseases and we pray for God to heal them or to make things better; and when there is no change we start to question if trusting in him or believing in an unseen God is really worth it. Meanwhile many have found favor with him, that part we conveniently block out at that moment.

Many have miracles of His grace every day of their life and when we look at these people, we want to know what they are doing right and what you are doing wrong. But when we do this, we only push ourselves into a deeper doubt as when we don’t find the answers we were expecting, we lose our life and sense of divinity and our trust in God.

God is not evil. He is not sitting out there somewhere laughing with hate for your predicament. He knows best and the sooner we know this, the better. He might just hold on to that million dollar contract for a little while when He knows you might fall into sin when you have it. He might let you make your mistake just for you to be a better person. How you see it is entirely up to you.

When we express gratitude in all our tribulations, when we show appreciation for everything that happens in our life then we are doing what is right for us, for our family and even our friends. We should pause and think of how it will make us feel when someone appreciates the extended hand of kindness you rendered to them. And also how it will makes us feel when we are treated with awe at a favor done.

So, God is an essence that we should create a space for in our hearts. We might not entirely believe in Him or His existence but we should not dismiss that fact that He is out there looking out for us. Watching, guiding, nudging and powering this machine we call life.

Who God is to you is a decision to surrender to a power that you have no explanation for. It is a status we decide to have whether or not it is convenient or favorable. You can explain it away with logical reasoning, just know that the ability to even reason, didn't just happen to you.

....www.missfanciful.

Chapter Four: Inner Peace And Family

Women are made to worry. In this chapter we’ll talk about why we have decided to be a mother that we are and still strive to be ourselves.

Many views that the life that is fast and furious will give them what they want but in actual fact, it can make them go crazy. It most times leads people to see their life as a life that has no purpose; the kind of life that follows a trend and is based on what others are doing.

When we say that our life is going nowhere, it means that we lack direction and the result or solution to this is not farfetched. We need to retrace our steps and take a new path.

It is not everyone that has the ability to know what their mistakes are but when you know what you are doing wrong, it is easier for you to know how to correct it. We live in a complex society, so peace and calm is not something that will just create itself. We need to find it so that we will find ourselves in all the madness around us. Many of us lock ourselves in the search for worldly comforts that might not even give us the peace of mind that we crave.

We work very hard day and night and for what purpose? Is it money? Money does not bring happiness to everyone that has it in their pockets. Is it fame? What is fame when there depression and loneliness? We need to find time to discover what really makes us tick and what can define our innate being.

We need to create time for our minds to be calm and enjoy what it has around it. We all need to find that thing that really makes us happy no matter what it is or how ridiculous it might sound to people. We need to re-evaluate the direction our life is going and re-discover who we are and what we want to do for the rest of our life. If it is what we are presently doing, then I would say that we are on the right path. All we need do then is to make ourselves to see why it makes us happy and endeavor to do it well.

The world is a big place with millions of people like you and I going through the same thing. Strange and negative things happen every day to everyone and we all end up more confused than ever. This singular fact should make us realize that we are not alone. We need to take a breath and take up a new interest in happenings around the world. Start a charity if you can, go on a trip to discover the world. We should pause and listen to others for a change. Make yourself see that there are others with even greater problems than yours that are living peacefully with it.

I will continue to say that we as women, need to stop being selfish and be thankful for the life we have. We need to try harder at finding the peace we can find within ourselves, it's in there somewhere. We should see through the eyes of others and this way we can see our peace and solutions in the eyes of those that trust in us.

The peace that we think we seek in our daily life and not getting might just be because we are looking for it in the wrong places. We may even be searching for it at the wrong time and for the very wrong reasons. Having peace of mind like my partner always hammer takes more than being a submissive wife or a doting mother with a career that is doing well. No. it takes overlooking the excesses of life and living, embrace the simplicity of family and that faith in God. God is the only one that can guarantee anything in this life and when we ask Him for direction as the essence of our creation and knows what we don’t know, and then we cannot go wrong.

Doors will be opened to those that seek His counsel and those that heed His words. Peace is achievable when we simplify the reason for it and want it hard enough and hold on to it when we do have it. It might just be the solution to our worries no matter how ridiculously huge it is.

Our family is the most important factor in our life that can make life as we seem to know it mean more than what it is. A happy family will have no problem finding peace within them. A woman is the one that can really give it. The husband might provide all the necessities of daily living but when the woman of the house is in turmoil, it spreads like wildfire among the other members. So, we should learn to be peaceful with the dealings we have with our husband and children and even the extended family.

The church should start to mean more than just a place of worship to us. It should be a place where we can really find solace in the presence and consciousness of a Higher Power. Being in the presence of God should cease to be at the time of remorse but a time of praises and thanksgiving of being a worthy child of God.

Inner peace is a tool that can help women to live a more fulfilled life and have a happier family. This is a fact.


....www.missfanciful.

Chapter Five: Love, Faith And The Society.

This the chapter where we go through what love means to us and why we should relate it to our social life and our spiritual consciousness

The philosophers of the world declared that love is a virtue that represents every act of human kindness or compassion and even affection. They also said that love is that ‘unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another’.

This emotion will always be an integral part of every life be it man or woman, children or adults. The saying that love does not envy or boast or put out pride should stick to all the minds of the person reading this text now. No evil will prevail anywhere in the world if there is love. Love shows no anger towards other people neither does it seek what is only good for his good.

In the bible, I Corinthian 13 talks about this emotion in the simplest way that all can understand. My best part is verse 2. It reads that, “if I had the gift of prophecy, and if I knew all the mysteries of the future and knew everything about everything but didn’t love others, what good would I be? And if I had the gift of faith so that I could speak to a mountain and make it move, without love I would be no good to anybody.”

I can actually drop my pen right now and leave you to ponder and wonder about it this. It has spoken what is in my heart with just the wisdom of its words. Faith without love, in a nutshell, is naught.

Love can only be a tool that believers can use to strengthen their faith. No matter how anointed one seem to be or how powerful in spirit and in the society we think ourselves to be, without the spirit of loving thy neighbor as thyself in us, it all boils to use being a nobody in the sight of him that matters, the Almighty.

The society we live in these days has turned most women against what they believe. Faith-based doctrines have become something that one has to hunt for in a congregation of believers. The faith we seem to have is surrounded by circumstances that are totally wrong and cannot strengthen it.

In Ephesians 2 verse 8, Apostle Paul made us to understand that we are saved because of faith. “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God,” was what he wrote.

Simply put, without the grace of the most high, we will not have the opportunity of faith which has in turn been the bedrock for our living and our survival as God’s creations. It is of great importance to please our creator and he said that without faith, we will find it hard to do this. And the world we live in now makes it even a harder difficulty.

Our devotion to who we are and what we are to the people we relate with will define how the direction or the level of our love and faith will grow. We cannot ultimately base what love should mean on how or what we feel. It is more than that. It becomes hard to indentify it when we are in a faithless gathering or going in a direction that does not recognize the essence of having faith. This brings this discussion to what a Christian love should mean in a society that does not really recognize it.

Loving in a faith-based manner is different from loving as we see it being done every day. We love the people that God created so that we can express that we keep his commandment in our hearts.

Getting butterflies in the tummy when you see a Christian brother does not mean you are not a good Christian. The feeling of fluttering in the tummy has nothing to do with the love we have for one another in the actual sense of the word. The kind of love I’m talking about is the kind that goes beyond when you feel  happy that you have given a gift to someone that asked for something else.

“He needed a sweater, I gave him a shoe out of the goodness of my heart,” is not the right kind of giving. Why? Because that was not what the person needed at that moment.  The love we share should be meaningful. It should be the kind that we would want to be given. No one wants a thief for a son, no one wants to lie in a neighborhood that gossips and yet you go to church and talk about how horrible your flat mate is or how tired you are of your husband or son for being this and that. All the commandments that are written in the bible leads to just one simple conclusion; the conclusion is to love like you would want to be loved.

Hearing the word of God on a regular basis no matter how busy the society makes us, can be a balance in our life. Faith is an act of trust that we put in someone else. You cannot put your trust in someone you have no love for. Loving faithfully takes a great and deeper understand of God and a desire to be prosperous in this world.

What I am saying in essence is that, love and faith goes hand in hand to make our journey through living a prosperous life an easy one. It will give room for a friendlier society, a happier family and a powerful congregation.

Chapter Six: The Social Demons

This chapter opens our eyes to the desire and struggle of self. It takes us through how we can upgrade self to give in to societal shoves without losing its stance on faith.

It is the desire of our creator for us as his creations to live a life that is meaningful as well as peaceful. His will was for us to live a life that has direction that will lead to heaven. His intent when he started creation was not to create a bunch of goal-less and proud beings that will make no difference in the world.

His heart was to give us the grace to be abundant and serve him wholly and fully. But circumstances have changed the mindset of many and they have forgotten their purposes. They need to be reminded in spite of all that might overwhelm them, be it good or bad as it may.

We all have the demons that we continually face in our day to day living and those that threaten our faiths and our life. These demons come in different shapes and characters and the ones that give us the most harm are the ones we created with our carelessness. Lack of faith or loss of faith has left many to retire deeper into the clutches of these demons.

God didn’t create anyone to suffer or to be afflicted by pain and diseases or tribulations.
Job of the Bible was one of those that were faced with the worst tribulations anyone could ever imagine. He was tried with all sorts of afflictions but his faith remained steadfast and his praises of the most high remained on his lips till the very end. Many will always ponder on why they are faced with one suffering or the other. They wonder if God was/is testing them and even if so, what could they do to make it stop.

Women are often the worst to deal with trials and tribulations. We are gentle and vulnerable and most events affect us the hardest and the fastest. For the sake of making it easier and simpler, I am going to touch on the simplest demons that affect almost every woman and how we can find solace in the word of God during these times.

The first one I want to mention is the fear of failing. Yes, many women are out there facing this problem and wondering how best to deal with it. Many have dealt with it only to be thrust into a deeper mess. Fear is something that many of us feel even when we expect it the least. It is a shadow that looms over our heads and makes us wander in unclear directions and with uncertainty in every stride we take.

In second Timothy chapter seven, we were told that God did not give us a spirit of fear and timidity but of love, power and self discipline.
Failure at something is the greatest fear of a woman. We fear to loose our husband, we fear to loose out on promotion. Some of us even fear to let our kids play outside of our homes. We fear to talk to our spouses or children. Our excuse? We don't want to push them away.

This demon is however the simplest to conquer. The love that radiates in us as women is very great and when utilized appropriately, it can take us anywhere. We can do anything as we are powerful. The strength and discipline that we were created with should be enough for us to conquer the world without a hint of fear.

Failure and fear are demons that walk hand in hand to plague people but we say enough is enough. Read the passage indicated above and say it repeatedly to yourself in the moment of doubt of your abilities.

Many women start off on a journey of self discovery without a plan and a strategy. They get to the middle of the road and get stuck due to lack of direction. This can be caused by a lot of things even by an unsure husband of a faithless marriage to such. A future endeavor without a strong plan will only result to being a waste of time. It is true that sometimes we are so eager to start that we forget to make necessary preparations for the unexpected.

But when we find ourselves in this predicament, we need not despair or lose focus. Remember the word of God that says in Proverbs 3 verse five, “trust in the Lord with all your heart; don’t depend on your understanding but seek His will in all that you do and He will then show you which path to take.”

He knows all the right directions when you are at a crossroad. The journey might have been tiring but it is never too late to call on Him to give you a new direction. You might have followed your husband to this crossroad or maybe you had lost him due to your lagging behind but help is just a prayer away.

He is sure to lead you towards that destination of grace and abundant marital success. We all need a helping hand and He is just but a few sentences of prayer away from hearing you. When the demon called lack of direction calls on you, push it off and hold out your hand for God to take you there.

For whatever reason, many had led themselves to a path where they are lost as to where they are going or coming from. They have dug a hole and walked right into it due to neglect and ignorance. Reverend Deji Dania said in his book; The Rib Factor, that women are the remedy to any malady as caused by her. We might have lost it but when we seek counsel, we are sure to find it. The answer is often right there in front of us, already made by us even.

Grief had taken a heavy toll on many and had made them to lose their faith in all that is good and their spiritual wellbeing. This is not a way to go please. The Holy Book says that even though we walk through the valley of the shadow of death, we should FEAR NO EVIL. The Almighty is with us and will be there to comfort us. The comfort that is gotten from His words and His grace is not the kind that leaves us when time lapses. It is everlasting for as long as we continue to do His will.

Grief is not something that anyone would pray for but when it happens, learn to lean heavily towards Him for comfort. Thinking, causing yourself pain, laying blame on anyone will not give you what you need. Run to Him, seek His face, open your heart to Him and let Him carry your burden. It is your weapon to fight this demon.

The demons in our life that continually find their ways unto our paths will not do us any harm. We are equipped with a powerful tool called prayer in the word of God and common sense. Be not afraid of that foul-looking, fire-spitting dragon, your Joseph (or Josephine as the case maybe) will defeat it in an instant. Just believe and prepare yourself wit enough information, you can only undo what you envision undoing.

Chapter Seven: Agape, What It Is.

Do excuse my continual mention of the word love. It’s an emotion that I preach very strongly because of its misinterpretations. I cannot help but base most of my writings on this word because it is a strong emotion that can uphold anything, when understood fully.

When there is love in a nation, there is peace in that nation. When we love one another, there is progress and tranquility in our being.
But aside this love, I want to talk about another kind of love; the agape love. Agape is not a word that most really understand its meaning and thus people do not know how to relate with the ways they can make use of it.

It is a simple Greek word that is mostly translated to mean ‘love’ as it is found in the Bible. It is so often used that many get confused why it has to be different from the one they know.

Agape love is beyond many of us. Its totality simply boils down to the act of self-sacrifice. It has nothing to do with romance neither does it have any dealings with the act of sexuality. It is different from the brotherly love that we share in our society or congregation. It is a kind of love that stands out from the others through its uniqueness.

God is the one and only that can give anyone that kind of love. It is the kind of love that He has for us and which emits from Him. God is love as written in the Bible by Apostle John. He loves us despite our shortcomings and closes His eyes to our continual neglect of our duties as humans.

His grace is as a result of His love for us; His mercies are born out of how much He loves us. He uses this love to call us back to Him when we lose ourselves in the world we live in.
We are wicked, He loves us still. We are sinful and He loves us still. We hate ourselves and kill ourselves and yet, He still showers us with His gift of nature. Which human can love like that, I ask?

We are dead in trespasses and sins as written in Ephesians chapter two verse one, but this same God still showed us His agape love and gave His son’s life up for us on the cross. We are an ungrateful lot and we do many things that would ordinarily lead us straight into disaster but He still calls us back. If the sins of mankind were to have a record, many would be lying in pain and suffering and burning right now.

We hurt Him everyday. We disobey His SIMPLE COMMANDMENTS THAT ARE FOR OUR GOOD. We always find a way to throw His love back in His face by doing those things He has forbidden us to do but then….we still get showered by His love and grace of second chances. How dare we say God doesn’t love us when we are faced with little afflictions!!

Can anyone die for the sins of another in this world we are? Even fathers will not die for their sons anymore. God the son gave up His life so that we can live a better life for Him and for what? Is it for us to question His love for us and taunt His good grace? God does not do anything out of spite to hurt people. He alone knows best what each of us are going through.

It is true that we can talk about how we love unconditionally but when the time comes to demonstrate it, many will fall short. No one can really put the desires of others before their own. We all want to get our satisfaction before we render it to others. So, agape love is not an easy thing for any person born out of a woman. But then, we can try to raise the level of our love to a higher one. And this is done by loving ourselves first.

Yes, when you as a woman loves God you would love who you are then you would love who others are and in turn love God the more for creating such kind of emotion itself. The satisfaction we get when we genuinely show true acts of friendship and love to other people only comes when we believe in our capability to show that love. This capability can only be gotten from the Most High.

When we love who we are and what we stand for we can then teach others to do the same. When that is done, together we can transfer our entire fulfillment and trust in Him whose love makes us whole. The agape love that He has shown us should allow us to reason better and helps us work at loving one another better. There is no us without Him and there is no need deceiving ourselves that He doesn’t listen or exist. We will only be fools that bath in the pool of ignorance and eat out of the plate of stupidity.

We; as women are loving, kind and passionate about everything. Finding the love that will transcend the hate that the society might push towards us should not be difficult. It is in us to give love to those that needs it and when we acknowledge the Giver of life and all there is in it, and then we are moving towards making a better world for us and our generations. God is love. The love He shows us has no limit and thus it shouldn’t be too hard for us to love in return by doing His bids. It is really not too much to ask for considering the facts that He owns our life.

I love you, love me and let us love our Creator.

Chapter Eight: The Tough Love Syndrome

I remember this bible verse that often jumps to me when I talk about discipline. It is in Psalm 37 verse thirty.

“The Godly offer good counsel, they teach right from wrong.”

A good mother should make this a watchword. Faith in our Creator should not hinder us from doing our duties as a caregiver and a counselor to our wards. Our children will always see the wrong in our counsel. They believe what we do is ‘nineteenth century’ and should be banished, and many just go with the flow. We should know better.

There is nothing wrong with following the Bible passage that says that, “a rod is for the back of he who lacks understanding." (Proverb 10:13)

I am not really talking about giving your child or ward a beat down now. I am talking about giving good counsel that will make him or her remorseful and reconsider his or her ways. Good counsel can be worth more than a thousand rods, these children are no fools. They know, they just want to ignore and it is up to us not to allow it. Tough love is difficult to administer especially as a woman.

This brings me to the issue at hand, tough love. This is an expression that is mostly likened to acts of discipline. It involves stern words and even sterner actions to correct a wrong act. It is doesn’t go down well with those that are on the receiving side, but it is often for their goods.

The tough love action can be done in various ways in as much as the purpose of it is justifiable. It can be used by friends on other friends. It can be used by husbands on their wives. It can be used by mothers on their children. This part is what I am concerned about her, the mother and child tough love saga.

Over indulgence has led many homes into deep trouble and have allowed the devil to build a mansion in marriages. A loving mother would condone a wayward child. A devoted wife will close her eyes to the misdeeds of a transgressing husband. It is wrong; it is high time we start practicing the tough love strategy.

I am a teacher; my pupils think I am mean. Well, I am mean because when they do what is wrong, I chastise them. Someone that is helping the other towards digging a hole of destruction is the devil himself. When you know someone that is going down a road that will lead to nothing but pain and danger, it is up to you to speak up and not turn a blind eye.

Spiritually, giving tough love is likened to a loving person with a stern hand. The love of one’s child will make one pick up that rod to award discipline in him. Tough love is very much explained in the book of Proverbs, it has many chapters on the issue of discipline.
It is a necessity for every mother to use tough love with their children if they want the best for them.

The devil will always use the fruit of our womb to test us. He will open a wide road of destruction to them and lace it with gold and roses. They will not see it as a path to destruction because of the beauty of it and thus we become their light. A mother should not relent from using tough love on their children when they travel down that road.

“I hate you!!” ”You are the worst mother ever!!” will one day turn into, “Thank you mummy for making me a better person.” We need to hang on and stay strong. It can be hard. We love our children and want the best for them but please, it is not at the detriment of their faith and belief.

The memory of our child crying her eyes out for what we have said or done is not a pleasant one. It is however a necessary one when it is for their good. The use of wisdom should then be infused into the usage of tough love so that one will not send the wrong message.

We want our children to grow spiritually and socially. We want them to be the best they can be and still put their trust and believe in the Almighty. It is explained in the Bible that no discipline is pleasant at the moment it is being given but its harvest is peace and righteousness; see Hebrews 12 verse eleven.

Even God punishes those that disobey him so that they will see the error of their ways. No discipline will be taken lightly but it is worth it at the end of the day. We are the mothers and thus should not give room to any form of waywardness in our child. A simple warning that is ignored should be followed by a harder shove.

When we use tough love however, please make sure you make the child know the error in his ways and why it has to be corrected and show him its effect on his walk with God. What it will make of his Christian life, should also be elaborated.

Chapter Nine: Our Rights To Anger

The Oxford Advanced Learner’s dictionary defined anger as the strong feeling that you have when something has happened that you think is bad or unfair.

Anger like love and hate and fear is a strong feeling. The emphasis is placed on the word, ‘strong’. It is not something that goes away easily when one experiences it. It can destroy things when managed badly and has left many in a state of confusion. Anger they say, spoil things. But does this mean we are not entitled to react to unfairness or injustice? No.

At a point in our life, we all have issues with anger. We are only human and it is not something that should be seen as a taboo. We have a right to voicing out what we see as a wrong done towards us. It has to do with our feelings getting hurt. Emotions are not something that can be handled with light hands as a lot rides on it. Anger like all the other emotions is a right that we have. Many believe that anger is not supposed to be expressed but I disagree completely. There are some passive aggressive though that let the anger they feel and don’t express take a toll on them.

I am not saying that one should go overboard when correcting or reacting to a wrong doing but one should express it with wisdom and level-headedness.

Anger comes with a lot of other issues and we should be able to learn how not to let these ones hijack our utmost intent of expression. Hostility, wrath, vengeance are not very welcoming to us as believers when we are faced with feeling of displeasure. The old day Greeks saw anger as a very strong passion that can override other feelings when it is felt.

It is a reaction to what one is feeling at a particular time. Unless we are a log of wood, we should show anger when necessary. I once read that anger is a root that is generated from families. The text read that an angry family breeds angry children thus angry people. When care is not taking it can become a label that can be carried on from generations to generations.

We should learn how not to let our emotions however stop us from being logical in our decisions. Anger only takes a few minutes in our life and we should not let it transcend into other aspect of such life. Feelings like injustice can be very tricky. We might be angry about it but its left to God to make that feeling towards that person becomes positive. He is the one that can change people.

Another anger prune situation is the feeling of abuse of any nature. It might be sexual, physical, verbal or even mental. Those that suffer from it are always very angry with the perpetrator and the society even. No one will expect the person to ignore this feeling but nothing beats praying about it. It needs to be processed and dealt with before it rules our life.

We get angry at the government when our child is sick and there is no medical aid. We get angry at that neighbor that leaves their trash can on the curb in front of our house. We get angry at that lady that talks loudly in the church. We get angry at that bus driver for missing a turn.

Anger is an age-long emotion that even started in the early years of creation. It was anger that led Cain to kill Abel. Many might view this as really extreme but that is how anger can be when expressed in the wrong way. We get angry if Miss. Sylvia is promoted before us and the sight of her in her new office makes us angry. That should not be.
There are things we should be angry at but there are things that are only selfishness and illogical train of thought.

When we feel desperate and angry at the world, we should call on divine counsel. We all answer to God after all. He is the one that can help us with what we feel and how we react to it. Nothing goes beyond praying.
When circumstances make us want to question the existence of God, we should pray for guidance. When we start feeling like we have been forsaken and gets angry with God, we should move closer to him then.

Self control should not be far from our archives. When you feel like the anger we are expressing is going out of context, call yourself back to reason. Give room for anger for five minutes at most and then let it go.
Remember what is written in Romans 12:1; don’t let evil overcome you. Satan in his evilness will want to use that as an opportunity to make you do things you ordinarily will not do.

Hanging unto the feeling of anger is a seed of foolishness as it often doesn’t help. It only makes you feel miserable and dejected, so why hold on to it? The bottom line is that anger is an emotion that we can’t help but be faced with. But remember that when you are angry, don’t commit sin. Don’t let your fury last with the sundown, Ephesians 4 verse 26,
Leave everything to God.

All feeling of unnecessary anger will only hold us down and take us back. Tell it all to God and then leave him to handle it. I am sure your smile will come bright again.

Chapter Ten: God is Love, His Love Made Us

God is the essence of love. He is patient, kind and so is how love is. The Bible says that love shows no envy nor does it boast or show pride. There is never a record of wrong doing when there is love and all evil does not get a happy thought with love. Love never fails; (I Corinthians 13 verse 4).

We can see how simple God’s description of love is. The mere fact that He is love makes us know what His characters are; loving, forgiving and gentle.

Now we are seeing love as God. Just like He doesn’t force anyone to accept Him so does love. His true children come to Him out of their will and for their acknowledgment of Him being the author and finisher of their faith. And many wonder why we are so happy serving our Lord.

Love as seen in God does not turn away from anyone because of their wrong doings. There is kindness in such love. There is truth and the grace of thanksgiving in such love. Everyone that experiences this love has abundance of peace and joy. When this kind of love is in a person, one lives happily and humbly with their neighbors.

God is love and His love made us. This earth is what it is because of His love. It is written in John 3 verse 16 that for God so loved the world that He gave His only son for us to believe in so that we can have eternal life. No one can give that great a gift without having a level of love for the receiver of such gift.
God made us understand that love is one of His attributes. Everything that we see or envision as the traits of God lies in perfect harmony with each other. Everything He does out of His love for us, His creations.

What we know as true love is just a percentage of what true love actually is as seen in God. But we have been given the grace to receive in this wonderful gift of loving by accepting Jesus into our life.
We are wonderfully made for a unique purpose. The women of this world are there as a reminder to our men that God loves all mankind. He could have decided to leave man to live by himself but He felt the need to create a being that would show him love and affection and be a helping hand to him.

We are there to help the men remember why God is the only one that can make everything wrong to become right. We are the day to day reminder when we give our unconditional love to our spouses and our children and help them discover who they can be in Christ.

God loves us greatly by creating us in His image. Mankind is what it is out of the flow of His love and grace. Let’s embrace this fact and live right by it at all times and all through our days.

Chapter Eleven: Heaven Bound Behaviors.

What is heaven? How does one describe the essence of it? Why does one point up to the sky when talking about it? Why this? Why that? Why not that or those?

A lot of questions will always follow the topics that are heaven related. The Holy Bible in the book of Revelation described heaven as the dwelling place of God Almighty.

It’s not just the clouds or the stars or the moon even. Heaven is more than a place of abundance of food and merriment, not just a place where the lucky and faithful ones dwell after death. No, it’s a place where not even an iota of evil can squeeze itself into. It’s a place that love is openly shared, peace is in the air and laughter and happiness knows no bound.

There is no illnesses, no war, no crime, no hatred and most importantly it’s the place where we reign with our heavenly Prince of Peace.

Heaven is the hope of those that truly believes in the death of Christ and His resurrection. To my understanding, heaven is the hope we have when we are faced with trials and tribulations. Those moments of doubts that threaten us daily and test our faith are forgotten when we think about our heaven-bound journey.

Revelation 21:3 says that heaven is the dwelling of God and it is with men. Not only that, He will dwell with them and they will be like His personal persons.

It went further to say that whatever tears had been shed here on earth will end here on earth when we believe in him. Ours will not be a portion of gnashing of teeth as we will be co-dwellers with our Lord. All our tribulations will be wiped away and our souls shall know no mourning or pain.

What a wonderful feeling I always get when I remember this. The salvation of our souls is always the first step of faith we can take towards heaven. No matter how kind, patient, respectful, remorseful, obedient or tolerant we claim ourselves to be, our salvation is not guaranteed until we turn our life over to him.

As written in Romans 1:21, “…for although they knew God, they didn’t honor Him as God or give thanks to Him…” and what happens after that is that, “…they became futile in their thinking and their senseless minds were darkened…”

When we claim to be wise and hide behind the unwise choice of just acting noble and holy without actually acknowledging our Creator as the only one that can save us, we will only end up with a darkened heart. A darkened heart will only lead itself to its destruction and perish in its unwise cleverness.

Living a heaven-bound life takes more than just going to church or obeying the Ten Commandments. Heaven-bound living should be followed as laid down in the book of Romans 12: 3-21. (Please read at your convenience).

Bless and curse not, no matter what, love genuinely, be cheerful when giving, genuinely rejoice with those who rejoice, sympathize with others that weep, do not repay evil with its like; leave all vengeance to God.

And don’t be overcome with evil because he will always knock upon your door to test you. Don’t put hindrances in the way of a brother or sister (Romans 14 & 14)

A heaven-bound behavior does not include falsehood, cheating, sweet-talking, covetousness, name-calling and the likes that we call trivial. Many believe that since its not fornication, adultery, stealing or murder then its nothing.

My dear reader, heaven is not a nothing-issue. It’s not for those that indulge in even the littlest of all unrighteous behavior.

I have known and I know sin, I lived in it for a while but I met with His grace and even the faintest of it drills inside of me. I am a partaker of this journey because He thought me worthy and redeemed me. Heaven is my goal now just like others that takes our faith and the kingdom seriously and not as trivial. It should be our goal too but it can’t be when your behaviors are questionable even by men not to talk of God.

So, marvel at the words as written by Paul in Ephesians 4: 1-6.

“…beg you to lead a life worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all lowliness and meekness, with patience, for-bearing one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call, one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of us all who is above all and through all and in all.”