PICTURE THE SCENE:

It’s Saturday and despite a BUSY week, you’re up early again. You drag yourself out of bed and start facing chores. You make breakfast, your darling husband eats, leaves his dishes on the table and moves to the Living room to enjoy T.V (despite the fact that the living room needs some cleaning up). Your kids are very young and can’t help much with chores. You’re exhausted and tensed, yet all the clutter stares you in the face. But what riles you the most? Of course! It’s the sight of your sweetheart concentrated on the TV, totally unconcerned about your running here and there!

MARRIAGE TIPS NOBODY TELLS US…

Unfortunately, the scene described above is quite common in these parts. What to do? Consider these tips:

*** TALK to him about it. Try to communicate your feelings without sounding confrontational.

*** THE few occasions on which he offers to help, accept it (even if you don’t really need his help at the time).

*** WHEN he helps out, give him a treat. It doesn’t have to involve spending money. Just make sure it communicates your thoughtfulness and appreciation. Knowledge of your husband’s turn-ons should come in handy here.

CONTINUE READING=>>> =>>> http://www.mamagidi.com/husband-wont-help-house-chores/

SOURCE: www.mamagidi.com

#BITG


please translate to french, i dont understand english

Very Nice Tips. Only a good wife will be appreciative of her husband's efforts to help out.

This whole helping with chores thing depends on the dynamics of the marriage.
some men make it as clear as crystal from the days of dating that they cannot do no chores, both in actions and words. It'll be totally unfair to expect this to change after marriage. As far as an african man is concerned, and I'm tryna be real here, most women would do themselves a lot of good if they don't 'expect'. If he helps, FINE! If he doesn't, talk to him about it. If he's not willing to change, FIND ANOTHER SOLUTION! Men are not too wired to be mixing maggi and onions or mopping house all day.

alutacontinua: This whole helping with chores thing depends on the dynamics of the marriage.
some men make it as clear as crystal from the days of dating that they cannot do no chores, both in actions and words. It'll be totally unfair to expect this to change after marriage. As far as an african man is concerned, and I'm tryna be real here, most women would do themselves a lot of good if they don't 'expect'. If he helps, FINE! If he doesn't, talk to him about it. If he's not willing to change, FIND ANOTHER SOLUTION! Men are not too wired to be mixing maggi and onions or mopping house all day.

Sure?

@ OP, it is disrespectful

bukatyne:

Sure?

@ OP, it is disrespectful

I'm just tryna be real here.........
Some, yeah! But most men would do their best to avoid it!

Barbecue lunch is ready. Made by the husband who doesn't want his wify smell of smoke, hot sun et all.

while wify made corn and carrot to support.

Oh my, I'm so lazy and disrespectful. Pls don't repeat.

Better eat before you collapse thinking evil for some of us.

Lovely......

Like Aluta alluded to it is different people different marriage dynamics.

I do not think it is disrespectful but sometimes not necessary to make it one kind big deal if it can be worked round.My husband does chores and my Dad did not.That does not mean my husband loves me more than my dad loved my mum.My mum had army of domestic help and come to think of it sef how many chores (as in sweeping, mopping washing)she sef dey do thinking back.She would do it if push came to shove but had others she would direct to do them which was transferred to us as we grew older.

If the work is too much and I have asked and he does not help then if I can afford it I hire help.As soon as I could afford it as a single girl I was paying for my clothes to be laundered so why should I start moaning if my husband refuses to do laundry.

Its not disrespectful but its also not as big as people on NL make it out to be.Besides chores take on different dimensions Clearing the garden is a chore and most men don't moan if the woman does not do it.For some they just get a landscaper in if they cant be bothered so if your hubby won't help just get a cleaning person in.

And its just not a Nigerian or African thing women of other cultures too moan about how their men can't be bothered with chores.Heck some women sef can't be bothered. Watching episodes of 'How Clean is your House'has taught me that *shudders remebering some episodes* yuck

On a serious note,

Only a lazy/wicked spouse looks on when the other can't handle or needs to multitask stuffs

It goes both ways

bukatyne: On a serious note,

Only a lazy/wicked spouse looks on when the other can't handle or needs to multitask stuffs

It goes both ways

Even if the couple is okay with the arrangement ? Must it be one size fits all?

bukatyne: On a serious note,
Only a lazy/wicked spouse looks on when the other can't handle or needs to multitask stuffs
It goes both ways

Bukatyne talking from the perspective of someone who has OCD like tendencies that might not always be the case.Let me give you practical examples from my own home where hubby helps with chores cooks and can singlehandedly take care of the kids.

I am a bit of a clean freak and I can't stand things out of place or any form of dirt.Take for example dirty plates if I go to bed with dirty plates in the sink I could wake up at 3am cos they keep popping into my subconscious. Until recently I used to mop my floors wash toilet and bath every two days.While my hubby helps me out sometimes he actually watches me and says "God will not let you kill yourself because I can't see any dirt on this floor you are mopping now did we not just mop it 2 days ago " while shaking his head.Sometimes he will say leave the plates I will do them tomorrow morning I want to watch football . Next thing I am there doing them myself after I just finished probably cooking a large quantity of food.By your last statement he must be wicked/lazy but really I am the one with the issues .I need to learn to take a chill pill (which I am learning by the way with the help of my son ) but really he would sort the plates the next morning if only I let him.


So like I said different home dynamics. Not all men who do not do chores are wicked

Abeg, una no dey tire for all this chore threads?

There is no one size fits all in this. Do what works for you. If your husband refuses to help out even when he can, then get and pay someone to.

I do not expect my husband to help out considering his busy schedule. He can barely get enough time to sleep during week days, talk more do chores. I've much less busy schedule but he wouldn't want me stressing out either, so we got a part time domestic help that does major chores. And I'm more than fine with the arrangement. He only helps out weekends especially when I'm at the office.

Every couple should do what works for them.

bukatyne: On a serious note,
Only a lazy/wicked spouse looks on when the other can't handle or needs to multitask stuffs
It goes both ways

BABE3:

Even if the couple is okay with the arrangement ? Must it be one size fits all?

Maám, note the bolded above

damiso:

Bukatyne talking from the perspective of someone who has OCD like tendencies that might not always be the case.Let me give you practical examples from my own home where hubby helps with chores cooks and can singlehandedly take care of the kids.

I am a bit of a clean freak and I can't stand things out of place or any form of dirt.Take for example dirty plates if I go to bed with dirty plates in the sink I could wake up at 3am cos they keep popping into my subconscious. Until recently I used to mop my floors wash toilet and bath every two days.While my hubby helps me out sometimes he actually watches me and says "God will not let you kill yourself because I can't see any dirt on this floor you are mopping now did we not just mop it 2 days ago " while shaking his head.Sometimes he will say leave the plates I will do them tomorrow morning I want to watch football . Next thing I am there doing them myself after I just finished probably cooking a large quantity of food.By your last statement he must be wicked/lazy but really I am the one with the issues .I need to learn to take a chill pill (which I am learning by the way with the help of my son ) but really he would sort the plates the next morning if only I let him.


So like I said different home dynamics. Not all men who do not do chores are wicked

bukatyne: On a serious note,
Only a lazy/wicked spouse looks on when the other can't handle or needs to multitask stuffs It goes both ways

To break it down (because it's you)

If a wife needs help and the hubby doesn't render he does not love his wife e.g.

If the wife has to jump from kitchen to look at the baby from there pack the clothes washed outside while the hubby does nothing, he does not love her.

bukatyne:



Maám, note the bolded above

Even if the other partner can't handle the chores.
Read phema and damiso's posts. Can we then conclude that their husbands are lazy/wicked?

Have you considered the husband's schedule? Have you considered if the husband has advised the woman to get help?


Everything about marriage shouldn't be a war. "Chores" is too small an issue to be tagging people names like lazy and wicked.

bukatyne:



To break it down (because it's you)

If a wife needs help and the hubby doesn't render he does not love his wife e.g.

If the wife has to jump from kitchen to look at the baby from there pack the clothes washed outside while the hubby does nothing, he does not love her.

What do you consider as "nothing"? In your household, doing nothing can mean "watching football". In my household watching football is doing something.

If my husband is watching a game and I'm multitasking, that means he doesn't love me? You're reaching.

BABE3:

Even if the other partner can't handle the chores.
Read phema and damiso's posts. Can we then conclude that their husbands are lazy/wicked?

Have you considered the husband's schedule? Have you considered if the husband has advised the woman to get help?


Everything about marriage shouldn't be a war. "Chores" is too small an issue to be tagging people names like lazy and wicked.

Babe,

You did not note the bolded.

There is no war here and no name tagging dear; I was giving my opinion on the OP and lazy is lazy

Funny enough, chores are not 'small' (But that is besides the point)

If the wife needs the husband's help, it is the duty of the husband to render it (For households where chores are considered the woman's responsibility)

Need the operative word here

BABE3:

What do you consider as "nothing"? In your household, doing nothing can mean "watching football". In my household watching football is doing something.

If my husband is watching a game and I'm multitasking, that means he doesn't love me? You're reaching.

Emm Babe,

My opinion does not affect how your home is run and vice versa.

Is it humiliating for a man to ask for his wife's financial assistance ?





Right there is the answer you seek.......

Expectations are funny little things that change over time, along with most else. I wouldn't expect him to demand anything from me without discussing it with me first = disrespect.

So yes. It's disrespectful to just expect. Try having a conversation first, most people have hearts.

Its not disrespectful, but the woman should communicate it well to the husband whenever she needs help. Ladies, try not to be rude in the process.

Why is everyone assuming the husband is helping the wife if he does house chores?? Isn't he helping himself?? Is it not his house too?



I don't get it. Is house chores the primary responsibility of a married woman?? See as una turn house chores to birth-right, I tire.

If you need help, you better ask before stress kill you. Lmao@Chilli. That looks delicious. Thank God for understanding men.

bukatyne: On a serious note,

Only a lazy/wicked spouse looks on when the other can't handle or needs to multitask stuffs

It goes both ways

On the other hand, it could be that the spouse is just a natural, dirty, slob, who loves nothing better than to lie and roll in their own filth. Let's face it, there are men (and women too) out there who do not see cleanlinesses being next to godliness. I still remember Aisha2 and Debrief's stories about men they were dating who were unbelievably dirty. Fancy having maggots in your toilet and kitchen sink? Or stuffing a half-eaten meatpie down the side corners / cushions of your sofa, simply because the journey to the waste bin is just too taxing?

For those cleaningness freaks dating slobs, ditch your partner the minute you notice his / her aversion to tidiness. What you can't tolerate whilst dating will be magnified to infinity if you go down the aisle with them.

For those already married to such, it's hard for an old dog to change their coat, so do as much damage limitation as you can. What I mean is this:

~ Continue correcting your spouse by showing or leading by example. Let your actions speak louder than words. If he or she leaves a trail of dirt behind them, then you pick up and clean up after them with your broom, dustpan, and mop. It shouldn't have to be a war of words every time. Conserve your energy and use it for something positive. Life's just too short to be stressing.

~ If your spouse makes special efforts to be messy, you make extra-special efforts to be clean. View it as a competition of cleanlinesses versus dirt. Leave your mark around your home by making every single nook and cranny spotless (if it bothers you that much).

~ Bring up your kids to be neat, clean, and tidy. It's never too early to start.

~ Invest in good quality domestic appliances like washing machines, dishwashers, tumble dryers, hoovers / carpet cleaners, and so on.

~ If you can afford it, then hire domestic help. Afterall, many hands make light work.

damiso: And its just not a Nigerian or African thing women of other cultures too moan about how their men can't be bothered with chores.Heck some women sef can't be bothered. Watching episodes of 'How Clean is your House'has taught me that *shudders remebering some episodes* yuck

Lol! Did you watch the program about OCD's going out to slob's homes to help them out? It was hilarous watching both ends of the spectrum trying to find a common ground.

Most of the "dirty" people were willing to change. It's just that they let things get on top of them till it all got out of control...so looking at the pile of chores to be tackled was sort of depressing for them. The worst cases though were the hoarders. Jeez, now that set of people really do have mental issues. Every single item, old newspaper, bottle cover, pin, scrap, etc had it's use. A skip was hired for one guy whose home was literally filled up from floor to ceiling, but he was ever so reluctant to throw out anything. The most that was done was just a polythene bag or two of rubbish he allowed to let go...and even then, he put up such a fight! At the end of the program, the OCD sufferer could only clear out one room in the entire house.

Most of the junk was just shifted from pillar to post one room to the next. Sad really.

Anyway, I so get you about not sleeping comfortably knowing there's stuff that needs to be sorted out in the kitchen sink. I actually find cleaning (and ironing) theraputic. Feels even better waking up in the wee hours of the weekend (whilst the entire household is still asleep) to just get a-scrubbing...behind the electric / gas cooker, deep freezer, washing machine / dishwasher / condenser and inside every cupboard.

A good sweep followed closely with moping the floors with boiling water and bleach is just exhilarating.

Where is Yellowpawpaw / Ypepe??

Efemenaxy1:

Lol! Did you watch the program about OCD's going out to slob's homes to help them out? It was hilarous watching both ends of the spectrum trying to find a common ground.

Most of the "dirty" people were willing to change. It's just that they let things get on top of them till it all got out of control...so looking at the pile of chores to be tackled was sort of depressing for them. The worst cases though were the hoarders. Jeez, now that set of people really do have mental issues. Every single item, old newspaper, bottle cover, pin, scrap, etc had it's use. A skip was hired for one guy whose home was literally filled up from floor to ceiling, but he was ever so reluctant to throw out anything. The most that was done was just a polythene bag or two of rubbish he allowed to let go...and even then, he put up such a fight! At the end of the program, the OCD sufferer could only clear out one room in the entire house.

Most of the junk was just shifted from pillar to post one room to the next. Sad really.

Anyway, I so get you about not sleeping comfortably knowing there's stuff that needs to be sorted out in the kitchen sink. I actually find cleaning (and ironing) theraputic. Feels even better waking up in the wee hours of the weekend (whilst the entire household is still asleep) to just get a-scrubbing...behind the electric / gas cooker, deep freezer, washing machine / dishwasher / condenser and inside every cupboard.

A good sweep followed closely with moping the floors with boiling water and bleach is just exhilarating.

Where is Yellowpawpaw / Ypepe??

@bolded, she is a victim of data loss

Have not seen Ileobatojo, nashville, dayokanu etc. too

bukatyne:

@bolded, she is a victim of data loss

Have not seen Ileobatojo, nashville, dayokanu etc. too

Lol!

I think Ile was one of the first set of handles to resurrect. She must be deeply engrossed with Wimbledon. Saw her and Bellong's posts commenting on the matches.

It's part of Love for the Husband to help his Wife....and the wife shld appreciate him back for that ......

No amount of House chores is small.....
Jst a simple "thank you" frm the wife on that day, and also, it shld be the first thing to say the following day (i.e. Thank you for Yesterday) will do a lot...........and may encourage the Husband to continue and Improve on that.

Hmmmmmmmmm I am one lucky woman. Back to the matter, @ OP NO it is not disrespectful but if he is not willing to help ,let him be and get yourself a cleaner;house chores can be so overwhelming @ tyms and no matter how industrious u are, there are times u just break down. In fact mothers. “ I HAIL O"

Efemenaxy1:

On the other hand, it could be that the spouse is just a natural, dirty, slob, who loves nothing better than to lie and roll in their own filth. Let's face it, there are men (and women too) out there who do not see cleanlinesses being next to godliness. I still remember Aisha2 and Debrief's [b]stories about men they were dating who were unbelievably dirty. Fancy having maggots in your toilet and kitchen sink? Or stuffing a half-eaten meatpie down the [/b]side corners / cushions of your sofa, simply because the journey to the waste bin is just too taxing?

For those cleaningness freaks dating slobs, ditch your partner the minute you notice his / her aversion to tidiness. What you can't tolerate whilst dating will be magnified to infinity if you go down the aisle with them.

For those already married to such, it's hard for an old dog to change their coat, so do as much damage limitation as you can. What I mean is this:

~ Continue correcting your spouse by showing or leading by example. Let your actions speak louder than words. If he or she leaves a trail of dirt behind them, then you pick up and clean up after them with your broom, dustpan, and mop. It shouldn't have to be a war of words every time. Conserve your energy and use it for something positive. Life's just too short to be stressing.

~ If your spouse makes special efforts to be messy, you make extra-special efforts to be clean. View it as a competition of cleanlinesses versus dirt. Leave your mark around your home by making every single nook and cranny spotless (if it bothers you that much).

~ Bring up your kids to be neat, clean, and tidy. It's never too early to start.

~ Invest in good quality domestic appliances like washing machines, dishwashers, tumble dryers, hoovers / carpet cleaners, and so on.

~ If you can afford it, then hire domestic help. Afterall, many hands make light work.

Lol Efe, you had to go there this afternoon, LMAO and I was having such a great lunch now its all gone. chai, bet whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy