15 Brilliant Lies Parents Have Told Their Kids - Family - Nairaland
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| 15 Brilliant Lies Parents Have Told Their Kids by 190theclown: 1:58am On Jul 14, 2014 |
Most parents are guilty of telling their kids a lie from time to time. From well-worn classics like "That music means the van's out of ice cream," to wacky off-the-cuff inventions, parental fibs usually go on to become favourite family in-jokes once the kids are old enough to figure them out. A post in message board AskReddit recently asked users to share their favourite lies that parents have told their kids, and users rushed forward to share their own stories of hilarious and devilishly inventive fibs. We've picked a few of our faves - recognise any of these? 1. My flatmate grew up on a farm and was told by her parents that their TV only worked when it rained. (Brian_is_a_tit) 2. "Don't touch that. It'll turn into spiders." (Captain_Ripp) 3. I told my niece they had to hold an adults hand when they were crossing the road or else the police will come and arrest them and they'd be put in jail. The oldest one then tried to run across the road by herself, but just as she got to the edge of the road, a cop car came around the corner and she ran back to me crying and begged me not to let them take her to jail. (Squiddy the Mouse) 4. My sister has her kids convinced that when they lie their tongues turn purple. She knows they're lying when they try to hide their tongue while talking (miabaldo) 5. My parents told me that if I pressed the little "reset" button on the power outlets, the house would explode. (obber3) 6. That Santa uses Christmas trees as spy beacons to make sure children aren't being naughty. (Code2211) i 7. I told my kids if the didn't behave in the drive thru they'd get a Sad Meal. That's a hamburger and a spanking. (tiffmarie23) i 8. Dad convinced us he had a special button to change red lights to green. Literally didn't realize he was bullshitting until I was 12. (dracarys_dude) 9. The car won't start if your seat belt isn't on. (FoodCake) 10. People get 10,000 words per month. If you reach the limit, you can't physically speak until the new month begins. Anytime I was especially talkative, Dad would say, "Careful now, I have to think you are up over 9,000 by now." (Toastwaver) 11. My dad told me that pushing the seat recline button on an airplane helps the plane take off, and that if not enough people push it the plane would crash. (palatablezeus) 12. My friends child is allergic to peanuts. When they are at the store and he whines for her to buy him a toy she tells him "it has peanuts." (liftlovelife) i 13. My dad told me that oil spots on the street were little kids that got run over because they didn't hold anyone's hand while crossing the street. (OnTheCob) i 14. Coconuts are bear eggs. (Ms_Plick) 15. My mom told my brother and I that a penguin lived behind the fridge, and if we left the door open too long we'd steal his cold and he'd get mad and come out and bite us. (khaelbee) And we can't resist adding in this extra one, which came from a Facebook commenter, in which one mum invents a tale worthy of EastEnders to avoid letting her kids gorge on Happy Meals. "My mom told me she was married to Ronald McDonald before she met my dad. She told me that they had 16 hamburger children together, but the babysitter ate them one night when she was hungry. Their marriage never recovered. That's why we couldn't go to McDonalds ever." Ingenious! Let us know what lies you've told your kids - or what your own parents had you believing as a child! More here http://www.parentdish.co.uk/2014/07/07/15-brilliant-lies-parents-tell-their-kids/?icid=maing-grid7%7Cuk%7Cdl15%7Csec1_lnk3%26pLid%3D277988 |
| Re: 15 Brilliant Lies Parents Have Told Their Kids by 190theclown: 1:58am On Jul 14, 2014 |
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| Re: 15 Brilliant Lies Parents Have Told Their Kids by DaVinChiSam(m): 2:18am On Jul 14, 2014 |
This na Oyibo people own. For Naija them talk say no look miRror for night or you go see Ojuju Calabar... Till this day wey white hair don dey knock for my door, looking at the mirror at nighttime gives me the hibber jibbers |
| Re: 15 Brilliant Lies Parents Have Told Their Kids by lepasharon(f): 4:36am On Jul 14, 2014 |
lool   |
| Re: 15 Brilliant Lies Parents Have Told Their Kids by Nobody: 6:55am On Jul 14, 2014 |
First day of my period, mom advised me never to allow a man touch me else I will get pregnant.For my mind as she advised that day,"Does this woman thinks I am stupid?" 1 Like |
| Re: 15 Brilliant Lies Parents Have Told Their Kids by Truckpusher(m): 6:58am On Jul 14, 2014 |
lynpetra: First day of my period, mom advised me never to allow a man touch me else I will get pregnant.For my mind as she advised that day,"Does this woman thinks I am stupid?"Most parents tell you silly lies without thinking about the generational shift from their own time......But I bet you that in the 90s it saved a lot of girls. 1 Like |
| Re: 15 Brilliant Lies Parents Have Told Their Kids by Nobody: 7:03am On Jul 14, 2014 |
Truckpusher: Most parents tell you silly lies without thinking about the generational shift from their own time......But I bet you that in the 90s it saved a lot of girls. Yea it did! She also advice me not to let a man touch my boobi,else it will grow bigger. .Na WA o.2 Likes |
| Re: 15 Brilliant Lies Parents Have Told Their Kids by Truckpusher(m): 7:08am On Jul 14, 2014 |
When I was 6 or about 7 my mom told me that the diick is called spider and I swallowed everything hook,line and sinker only for me to be mocked in my School by an older child that told me the real name and I was so angry that my Mom lied to me and made me look stewpiid before my friends in school. 2 Likes |
| Re: 15 Brilliant Lies Parents Have Told Their Kids by Nobody: 7:17am On Jul 14, 2014 |
Truckpusher: When I was 6 or about 7 my mom told me that the diick is called spider and I swallowed everything hook,line and sinker only for me to be mocked in my School by an older child that told me the real name and I was so angry that my Mom lied to me and made me look stewpiid before my friends in school. Don't blame her.Maybe yours sure looks like arachnids |
| Re: 15 Brilliant Lies Parents Have Told Their Kids by Truckpusher(m): 7:21am On Jul 14, 2014 |
lynpetra:Slap yourself by yourself  1 Like |
| Re: 15 Brilliant Lies Parents Have Told Their Kids by Nobody: 7:31am On Jul 14, 2014 |
my Parents Never lied to me. at least not that I can remember. BUT WE ALL KNOW OUR FATHERS TOOK FIRST IN CLASS 4 Likes |
| Re: 15 Brilliant Lies Parents Have Told Their Kids by zeb04(f): 7:35am On Jul 14, 2014 |
my mum lied then,she stil does small small lie now. When she starts I just raise my nose  sometyms the lies are just so funny nd my dad has to run to the bathroom to laughI lie to my kid brother too I tell him he is a special child and gum nd sweet has a way of making his nose flat nd if he dosnt stop he won't like himself in 10yrs time. My elder bros was alwys lying to me abt men,I never even had male frnds till after university. Alwys lying that all the boys in the hostel wanted to sleep with the girls nd that the guys were all infected with one disease or the other nd he knew these because when the are drunk,they spill sh.it. silly boy |
| Re: 15 Brilliant Lies Parents Have Told Their Kids by 5minsmadness: 7:36am On Jul 14, 2014 |
lynpetra:Isn't that true? |
| Re: 15 Brilliant Lies Parents Have Told Their Kids by Nobody: 7:45am On Jul 14, 2014 |
5minsmadness: What about me that is touching my breast every day?Has it grown bigger?it ain't true jare. |
| Re: 15 Brilliant Lies Parents Have Told Their Kids by Nobody: 7:56am On Jul 14, 2014 |
190theclown:- She told me that they had 16 hamburger children together, but the babysitter ate them one night when she was hungry. Hamburger Children? LOL....this should be the Most ridiculous lie ever. |
| Re: 15 Brilliant Lies Parents Have Told Their Kids by Nobody: 8:06am On Jul 14, 2014 |
Don't drink coconut water, it would make you dull.... Don't eat chicken gizzard, its a taboo.. Its only meant for ur father.... Parents can deceive 1 Like |
| Re: 15 Brilliant Lies Parents Have Told Their Kids by 190theclown: 9:26am On Jul 14, 2014 |
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| Re: 15 Brilliant Lies Parents Have Told Their Kids by freecocoa(f): 9:55am On Jul 14, 2014 |
Definitely found an ace that I could keep from this thread, so using the tongue turning purple lie for my children, I pray it works for them cos Nigerian children sha different from their oyinbo counterparts .2 Likes |
| Re: 15 Brilliant Lies Parents Have Told Their Kids by adebayour26: 10:57am On Jul 14, 2014 |
1. Boys that lick salt will have their d.ick drizzling wit water. |
| Re: 15 Brilliant Lies Parents Have Told Their Kids by edwife(f): 11:02am On Jul 14, 2014 |
lynpetra: That I can relate to. |
| Re: 15 Brilliant Lies Parents Have Told Their Kids by 190theclown: 11:25am On Jul 14, 2014 |
freecocoa: Definitely found an ace that I could keep from this thread, so using the tongue turning purple lie for my children, I pray it works for them cos Nigerian children sha different from their oyinbo counterparts  |
| Re: 15 Brilliant Lies Parents Have Told Their Kids by Nobody: 12:28pm On Jul 14, 2014 |
My dad told us when we do bad things,or lie,we won't grow as tall as he is.then I avoid doing bad things,or lie. I believe those lies are meant to guide the children's way,and shape them. Since most of what we were told are something the children can relate to. 1 Like |
| Re: 15 Brilliant Lies Parents Have Told Their Kids by lepasharon(f): 5:44pm On Jul 14, 2014 |
LOOL at 16 hamburger children |
| Re: 15 Brilliant Lies Parents Have Told Their Kids by Bawsse(m): 7:27pm On Jul 14, 2014 |
if you eat too much rice it would grow in your stomach.....seriously, mom?  i trusted you  1 Like |
| Re: 15 Brilliant Lies Parents Have Told Their Kids by Bawsse(m): 7:34pm On Jul 14, 2014 |
lynpetra: thank God you are grown now meaning you can now allow me touch your boobi |
| Re: 15 Brilliant Lies Parents Have Told Their Kids by Bootybuttchic(f): 11:41pm On Jul 14, 2014 |
Eating salt will cut my tongue ( still dnt knw if its tru)Eating fish eye willl make you dull They always came first in class |
| Re: 15 Brilliant Lies Parents Have Told Their Kids by Nobody: 2:38am On Jul 15, 2014 |
My mom said if I have sexual intercourse I will become Obese ! She keep on showing me an obese in our neighbourhood ...... She will say : ''look , you will be like him'' ...... I was very scared of turning Obese !! The lie worked :  I was a virgin for 24years ! |
| Re: 15 Brilliant Lies Parents Have Told Their Kids by 190theclown: 10:05am On Jul 15, 2014 |
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| Re: 15 Brilliant Lies Parents Have Told Their Kids by Odunharry(m): 3:46pm On Jul 15, 2014 |
MOST 9ja PARENT SAY THIS ''When i was ur age,i always come out top in class...'' if u whistle at night,snake will attack u |
| Re: 15 Brilliant Lies Parents Have Told Their Kids by Odunharry(m): 3:51pm On Jul 15, 2014 |
donroxy: My mom said if I have sexual intercourse I will become Obese !nice 1 1 Like |
| Re: 15 Brilliant Lies Parents Have Told Their Kids by 190theclown: 2:23pm On Jul 21, 2014 |
Odunharry: MOST 9ja PARENT SAY THIS ''When i was ur age,i always come out top in class...'' ROTFL |
| Re: 15 Brilliant Lies Parents Have Told Their Kids by Kimmo(f): 12:34am On Aug 02, 2014 |
10,000 words a month? Lool! |
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