Most times I hear ladies say that men are scarce or rare this days as regards to getting married or being ready to do like that, but what still baffles me is that their are alot of single men out their looking for women to get married to.

Or what do you think is actually the problem? Abeg make una jist me Ooo.

Men are neither scarce nor rare they are a lot of them not just ready to settle down and the few once ready to settle down are already taken.

I dont think men are scarce, but the problem is with the fact that getting a realiable, responsible and committed men are the issues. Many men out there are for nothing more than going to bed with ladies and so far this is done, definitely the so called ladies are viewed as useless bedmates.

Let ladies give themselves the needed respect and you'ld see that men will treat them with respect too and hold them in high esteem. Some ladies also are not serious to me, insincerity has taken over, with the mind of aiming to be what you are not, I mean looking for ready made big men, ready to spend money on them, whereby this affects their desires and wants, even when they have a relationship with other young men, which leads to breaks in relationships.

Humility is no longer there, even the so called sisters in churches have gone the way of the world. Some are choosy, while some are domineering, so where do we go from here. There are so many stories in a column in Sunday Punch about this, you'ld see for yourselves what ladies are going through today

That's why you see that marriages are no longer sweet as it used to be. Divorces are taking over here and there


May God help us all

wow, so i guess if women just went back to being sweet, gentle and submissive, men would be happy again, and there would be less divorces ehn? just wondering,

There is scarcity of 'good' women. Am a guy, with several years of 'post-qualification experience in bachelorhood'. Every woman wants a 'ready-made' husband. No one gives thought to d fact that the 'ready-made' husbands were 'made' by someone out there, who was fore-sighted enough to look beyond the present, when the going was rough, and the 'making' was in progress. If I had my life to live again as a girl, I'd pick and chose a smart guy from my university, and grow together with him, irrespective of his level of solvency; insofar as he is brilliant and good at what he's pursuing. Thats the way to go.

Today's woman needs a guy with a limo; who can bankroll the grandest wedding ceremony, pay for a slot on NTA newsline for the video-clips of the event, shuttle between the best hotels in town with her, live in opulence and style from day one, etc. Such men, unfortunately are scarce and difficult to put down as husband. Rather than treat u like a wife, he'll just see u as one of his investments (like a pet in the house) who should b seen but not heard.

Well girls, take heart. Am a good guy and am still available.

iice:

Not always true

iice, you said this. I know celemel was exaggerating a bit, but basically he's saying ninety-something percent of girls are greedy [don't hit me, it's true] and would rather have a man spen on their whims, vices and excesses than share the load with him; would rather spend her own money on rubbish stuff like parties, dresses, fashion and ostentatious jewelery and let the man deal with more serious things like kids school fees, house rent, day-to-day expenses etc. Most womean are not realistic - they compare the guys in their social-status, age and educational level with some guy, some artiste, some rich-dad's-kid somewhere, not realising that the promising young man is going somewhere.

I don't blame guys for seeing it as payback time when they eventually achieve some level of comfort and refuse to get married, playing the women like a deck of cards instead.

Sorry for the name mangling, i have modified the post. But i maintain my stand - parents/relatives/sugardaddies stop brainwashing our girls! They dont need a guy's riches to be happy.

Secret to unamrried ladies: a loving, commited young man is more likely to want to marry earlier, is more likely to make it in time, and is more likely to remain faithful - If you are as true to him as you shd be. Dont look the other way because he aint "pimping all over the world, spending massive bucks" [Ludacris], or cos he aint riding a BMW. Excerpt from the song sk8er boi by Avril Lavigne:

he was a skinny boi
She says to hin later, boi
He wasn't good enough for her
,
Now he's a superstar
slamming on his guitar
,
Sorry that she couldn't see
See the man that boy could be
,

and so on.

That is obvious considering the level of materialism of most Naija babes.The want ready made guys.Men now prefer to have enough dough before marriage.some work till they are 40 years or more before thinking of marriage.Nigerian babes needs change of heart!

This is a wonderful topic considering the age we live.

To be able to understand the situation very deeply, we must recognize the fact that the generation before us did not show us a good model to follow.

Women are not to blame.

Men (depending on their perpective) are the bread winner so they must act as one.

Women need to be taken care of so they sought for such.

I wonder which generations experienced what we see in the movies as a wonderful marriage but marrital issues have been since the world was created.

The marriages that last are those built on Jesus- those with the maturity to recognize selflessness.

My submission - Women are not to blame because they dont want unbaked men, the inherent human selfishness is operating so what do you think? Men also wait long because the same selfishness operates within their soul- they are scared of letting go of the little they have.

Men and women are scared of letting go of their inherent selfishness. So nobody is to blame.

men, scarce? nope
scarce for marriage? they are still 'playing' and 'catching ' fun

celemel:


Today's woman needs a guy with a limo; who can bankroll the grandest wedding ceremony, pay for a slot on NTA newsline for the video-clips of the event, shuttle between the best hotels in town with her, live in opulence and style from day one, etc. Such men, unfortunately are scarce and difficult to put down as husband. Rather than treat u like a wife, he'll just see u as one of his investments (like a pet in the house) who should b seen but not heard.
Well girls, take heart. Am a good guy and am still available.

You got it right there! A naija girl in my area abandoned her husband a week after their traditional wedding because she found a 'richer' guy with mansions and all that. I was totally shocked when that happened because the girl didn't strike me as an irresponsible enthusiast. The worst part of it is that she said that Christ will forgive her that we all make mistakes, WTF? You know you are about to commit an abomination and you ask God forgiveness in advance, damn if i were God, I will be wupping ass on a daily basis, what blasphemy!

It was also shocking her mother, sisters and brother were in full support of that foolishness. And to cover their arse they started spinning lies about how the guy and how he was living in a train and how the girl was giving him pocket money and paying his rent. I almost fainted when I learnt about these lies 'cause I was there when everything started. I couldn't believe human beings can be so heartless. Weird because they are 'born again'.

The good news is that the so called rich guy is avoiding her and is obviously not gonna touch her with a 10000 foot pole.

When I got the new, I smiled and said 'Yeah, Karma is a muthafk. Serves you right scumbatardassmuthafker'

Duplicate post.
my bad.

Men Scarce No way. We are just wising up and living life to the fullest be4 marriage.

@Grafikdon, what about the guy she jilted after their traditional wedding ?
And the girl herself, what is she doing now ? How about her family, what are they saying now ?

Marriageable men are scarce because the economy does not encourage the youth to be self sufficient. Young ladies i am readily available and seriously searching for the right partner

hhm very very intresting

seek and you shall find!!

(wow, so i guess if women just went back to being sweet, gentle and submissive, men would be happy again, and there would be less divorces ehn? just wondering, )


i dont believe men are scarce neither do i agree that women need go back to being gentle ********** , marriage is a two way thing, divorce is a product of two coconut heads especially a bigger head by the stubborn bullish man called men.

women go on and be ya selves, dont bend for any man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We are. The reason being, while it is acceptable to marry a struggling woman, it really is not right to marry a struggling man.

So, while they are not a shortage of guys per se, there is definitely a shortage of guys that are marriage material. The rest of the guys are just losers and therefore will not be considered by any woman that has any interest in not dieing wretched.

I wish i knew cos am married but i do know that most women r too too picky, i have a few friends like that. I was a little picky but i asked GOD for wha i wanted and i gat it. So if u r religious just ask and u shall recieve. Amen? Amennnnnnnnnnnnn !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

C'mon now, why cant u marry a struggling man? Is it not better to work together and enjoy together? Even tho mine wasn't like that but i wouldnt have minded if i am in love.

DaHitler:

We are. The reason being, while it is acceptable to marry a struggling woman, it really is not right to marry a struggling man.

So, while they are not a shortage of guys per se, there is definitely a shortage of guys that are marriage material. The rest of the guys are just losers and therefore will not be considered by any woman that has any interest in not dieing wretched.

didn't know they were scarce.
r they really scarce because i want to start looking for my hubby!

i no believe say men scarce, the problem be say everybody has negative motive in any relationship and the truth is scarce

I have a different view.
I personally think it's several things that have made this seem like it is:

1. Gender confusion. Nope not "sexuality confusion" . Modern women have slowly grown to acquire a lot of traits that were previously considered "manly" i.e. aggressiveness and the lust for power/control and in doing so have succeeded in needing no male impact in their lives hence alienating some men. Let me explain further; opposites attract right? But if it seems like I'm going to be spending my life with my mirror image, I'd rather pass on that. This is not to say women should return to passivity/passiveness (God, I love making up words! ), it's more of a man though the ages have done/lived to do/been motivated to do great deeds mostly to impress or gain a woman's love/heart/respect but if there's nothing to fight for, it kind of kills all the buzz. Nothing to show off for. Think of the word "groom", short for "bridegroom" i.e. one who grooms the bride. You can't groom a bride that's not willing to be the bride.

2. Some men have just grown passive is the art of wooing/toasting et al. Now I don't mean yarns, I mean actively seeking a woman's favour/attention and all that jazz. If you read literature/books etc of years past you realise that marriage was more procedural and methodical as in the guy can meet and fall for a woman at first sight but he has to be proven "worthy" to get a free pass but now, "one night stands" anybody?

3. Finance. Lotsa folks have already beat up on this very valid drum and they are so right. The concept of "growing together" died in this generation. Not that it doesn't happen but it's much more scarce. Mainly that comes because a lot of men have ended up dumping their "soulmates" and moved unto younger "bed-buddies" after they become "made". So sisters have taken to the idea that if nothing else, wealth can keep you company when he's away and if he ain't got none, hasta la manana, amigo.

4. "Older/Younger"-type thingy. !!!oops the lights gone and I gotta post this before I forget all this when I come to complete this, soon.!!!
[Okay I'm back.]
Women tend to be attracted to security and experience and they need people to look up to (mentors), normally these can come with age (though not strictly); Men generally like to feel looked up to and in some extreme cases revered/worshipped sef, it's hard to find a woman of your generation/age bracket that can provide this especially since "extreme feminism" has eliminated some essential bedrocks. So women are left with going after older men who they can respect because of their age/wealth/experience while men go after women for the reverse.

5. Truth! Very few people like/can handle it. Period! No details/explanation needed!

6. Masks. We all wear masks. We all have ideas of what we think we should appear to be to other people. We have a need to be regarded in a certain light. Letting the true you hang out there is a risk we are finding incredibly difficult to do. Who wants to show off their warts and irritabilities and all that? Well, that is what we must do to find true love/marriage. Nobody will marry a "surprise package" in the hope that it ends up being a pleasant one, there's too much at stake/riding on it.


mine tuppence

yeah. i am one of them
and right now i know of 5 girls that'll jel if i just say the M word.
they can't understand that i won't sacrifice my goals for marriage. any gal that can't fit into my plans can go.
this decision is for the greater good

I agree with Sir Kay he has said it all there are only few responsible men out there and like wise women!! Only few of them, especially some ladies that are after money i can hardly imagine marriage now depends on POCKET WEIGHT!!

guys are not scarce but guys are scarce for marriage. i know loads of girls that want to get married but can't. because there are no guys to get married to.

Guys why are you scared of getting married?

Hmm!