PENMIGHT:
Too many questions will only herald in more confusions and will open more doors of doubts. The previous Nations were destroyed by this.

Many questions as she asked only lead into truth and clarification. Unless you find these questions trivial or mundane as the questions of the isrealites in 2:67-73, then suck it up.

PENMIGHT: THE TRUTH IS - "ALLAAH KNOWS, AND WE DO NOT KNOW". Islam is not irrational but Islam is not
based on rationale.

Knock it off, playing it down by shouting "ALLAAH" when tasked with reconciling your controversial doctrines with morality has also been the way of even disbelievers in ages.
Quran 7:28
And when they commit an immorality, they say, "We found our fathers doing it, and Allah has ordered us to do it." Say, "Indeed, Allah does not order immorality. Do you say about Allah that which you do not know?"


It 's simple, the problem here may not be satan 's whisper. It could be that you religious texts are afterall not divine or you are misinterpreting them.

About inheritance, islam is about justice and equity not equality.
men inherit twice that of women, what is the reason for this?
why do most women marry up? marry someone who's richer and earn more money?

in islam its compulsory for a man to spend his money on his wife, daughter and family if he doesnt its a sin, a woman's money is her prerogative she can choose to buy bag or clothes with all, we may say its not a responsible way to spend her money but its not a sin. so a man collects his share of inheritance and still spend it on his wife and family, a woman on whatever she wants. so lets assume a woman's husband inherited some money and the woman herself also did he spends on her even though she has hers? and we say its not fair or unjust? if women were made to compulsorily take financial responsibility by the law that would have been different. do not look at this conditions in isolation.

Even basic necessities of life could be bad for you.
water is life, we all can't do without water yet it kills many people, do we blame water and stop drinking it or using it?, same with food, do we advise people to stop eating or eat healthy? thats a necessity talk more of situations that are not necessities of life but are abused do we outlaw it or advise people not to abuse it?.

ALLAH (SWT) gave us brain and we should think and reason, one should have faith and submit out of personal conviction and not practice a religion blindly.

pickabeau1: this is a nice thread and i have learning a lot from it

Can i ask two questions

Is there a sharia court in the southern part of the country

also why has yerima's divorced wives not taken him to sharia court as he seems to be twisting a part of the holy book

There are. To the best of my knowledge. Kwara has one. It's in the constitution of the federal republic of Nigeria. It's only left for individual states to duplicate it and domesticate things but you should know how that pans out na and the propaganda and hate speech some intolerant people would raise..

2. Same reason most abused wives or women in general in our society don't seek justice. They MIGHT be poor, dependent and badly underleveraged. Most MIGHT even be illiterates and MAY not even know what their rights are. Shey it is what you know as your right that you would fight for.


There's also the social stigma that accompanies such publicity in some places. Women in this clime(south) do not have a grip on that yet.


These problems mirrors what happens in the society at large. How many battered women have gone to courts to seek redress even amongst the highly educated ones? Your guess is as good as mine. Zero!


Notice the word MIGHT. Not sure. Just gave you possible course of actions.

Edited.

onegig: There are. To the best of my knowledge. Kwara has one. It's in the constitution of the federal republic.

It's left for states to duplicate it and domesticate things.

2. Same reason most abused wives or women in general in our society don't seek justice. They are poor, dependent and badly underleveraged. Most are even illiterates and don't even know what their rights are. Shey it is what you know as your right that you would fight for. There's also the social stigma that accompanies such publicity . Women in this clime do not have a grip of that.


These problems mirrors what happens in the society at large is. How many battered women have gone to courts to seek redress even amongst the highly educated ones?

2. the question is do you think is divorced wives felt an injustice or also wanted out of the marriage?, what makes you think they are poor and illiterates? he probably settled them generously and they were ok with it.

@bolded this can't be the case because in the north the stigmatization of divorcees is low, its actually easier for women in the north to leave their marriages, have the support of their family and remarry than in the south.

2. the question is do you think is divorced wives felt an injustice or also wanted out of the marriage?, what makes you think they are poor and illiterates? he probably settled them generously and they were ok with it.

@bolded this can't be the case because in the north the stigmatization of divorcees is low, its actually easier for women in the north to leave their marriages, have the support of their family and remarry than in the south.

I understand your penchant for defending the North madam. Lol.

However, all i said there was "might" or maybe i edit it and include might in it. No one is sure why they haven't pursued justice. It might be that they don't even know that an injustice has been done to them. So why even bother.


Aside that. Please in all sincerity. Do you think paying them or "settling" them in the light of the circumstances leading to their divorce just? Lets leave the difference in North and south out. Would you personally accept you get married to a guy and after years he decides to marry someone nubile based on his lustful desires and because you are "surplus" to needs (i.e 4 wives) accept payment of "money" to you as justice? Forget pre nups. We have established that instituting that he can't marry more than one in pre nups is invalid as you can't make what's halal haram for him through an agreement.

On a lighter note.Deols i was readin surah khaf yest. and i remembered you.By your fiesty nature, you would hav reflexly smacked khidr right inside d boat were you to be Musa. I hav a feeling you wont last till d third lesson cos you would hav departed frm that ostensibly 'evil man' when he killed d poor boy.Lol.

WHO IS ALLAAH? Answer this question appropriately and i will determine whether u worth my time or not.
Feel free to ask Google!.

usermane:
Many questions as she asked only lead into truth and clarification. Unless you find these questions trivial or mundane as the questions of the isrealites in 2:67-73, then suck it up.

Knock it off, playing it down by shouting "ALLAAH" when tasked with reconciling your controversial doctrines with morality has also been the way of even disbelievers in ages.
Quran 7:28
And when they commit an immorality, they say, "We found our fathers doing it, and Allah has ordered us to do it." Say, "Indeed, Allah does not order immorality. Do you say about Allah that which you do not know?"


It 's simple, the problem here may not be satan 's whisper. It could be that you religious texts are afterall not divine or you are misinterpreting them.

deols: 1. Polygyny - a man can marry up to four wives but a woman cannot.

I have been very vocal about my thoughts on this institution. I have spoken in support of it in the past but the more I give it a thought, the more I find it hard to accept.

A. People who support polygyny say that it benefits
A man who may not be satisfied by one woman. But what about women who may not be satiafied by a man?
A2.Islam preaches abstinence b4 marriage and Muslim men and women abide by that. Do you think that it becomes more difficult to stick to a woman after marriage than it is to practice abstinence before it? I just think that that line of thinking does not hold water.

B. Does Islam care for the emotional/psychological state of the women in these marriages? Aisha's reports of jealousy are well documented despite being the favoured wife. What did the other women feel like even as the peophet chose her laps for his final moments.
Competition/jealousy and bad belles throughout a marital life is not something I'd wish anyone so I keep on wondering if it is worthwhile.
B2. There is not much room for reconcilliation with wife in dispute with her husband. Her bed is left while he warms his bed with the other women. Unlike if she is the only one and the need for a quick reconciliation may happen.

C. How about the Children from these marriages? Not that this occurs in all cases but when it does happen, They are constantly aware of the troubles in the home. They may be exposed to competition from the very beginning and may never be in accord with their siblings.

My Sister, as much as you have listed the disadvantages you feel or see in polygyny, the next thing for us to do is to list the advantages too. now we wait and see if the advantages outweigh the disadvantages or otherwise. Deos nothing on earth is absolutely 100% perfect for us, even the food we eat as important and compulsory as it is has its advantages and disadvantages. as important to life as it is, it can be abused (obesity, bulimia etc) since Allah knew it can be abused the question will then be why did he allow or create food in the first instance after all he knew it would be abused! even water my dear sister is abused.
Now lets look at the story of Prophet Musa and Kidri (am sure you are familiar with it but will still write for the benefit of analysis)
Moses is Informed of a Wise Man
One day, Moses delivered such an impressive sermon that all who heard it were deeply moved. Someone in the congregation asked: "0 Messenger of Allah, is there another man on earth more learned than you?" Moses replied: "No!", believing so, as Allah had given him the power of miracles and honored him with the Torah.

However, Allah revealed to Moses that no man could know all there is to know, nor would one messenger alone be the custodian of all knowledge. There would always be another who knew what others did not. Moses asked Allah: "0 Allah, where is this man? I would like to meet him and learn from him." He also asked for a sign to this person's identity.

Allah instructed him to take a live fish in a water-filled vessel. Where the fish disappeared, he would find the man he sought. Moses set out on his journey, accompanied by a young man who carried the vessel with the fish. They reached a place where two rivers met and decided to rest there. Instantly, Moses fell asleep.

Moses Finds Al-Khidr
While he was asleep, his companion saw the fish wriggle out of the vessel into the river and swim away. However, he forgot to relate this incident to Moses. When he awoke, they continued their journey until they were exhausted and hungry. Moses asked for his morning meal. Only then did his companion recall that the fish they had brought with them had gotten away. Hearing this, Moses exclaimed: 'This is exactly what we are seeking!" They hurriedly retraced their steps to the place where the rivers met and where the fish had jumped out. There they found a man, his face partly covered with a hood. His bearing showed he was a saintly man. He was Al-Khidr, the guide.

Moses Finds Al-Khidr - Qur'anic
Allah the Almighty narrated: And (remember) when Moses said to his boy-servant: "I will not give up (traveling) until I reach the junction of the two seas or (until) I spend years and years in traveling."

But when they reached the junction of the two seas, they forgot their fish, and it took its way throught the sea as in a tunnel. So when they had passed further on (beyond that fixed place), Moses said to his boy-servant: "Bring us our morning meal; truly, we have suffered much fatigue in this, our journey."

He said: "Do you remember when we betook ourselves to the ock? I indeed forgot the fish, none but Satan made me forget to remember it. It took its course into the sea in a strange (way)!"

(Moses) said: "That is what we have been seeking." So they went back retracing their footsteps.
Then they found one of Our slaves, unto whom We had bestowed mercy from Us, and whom We had taught knowledge from Us. Surah 18: 60-65

Moses Speaks to Al-Khidr
Moses said to him (Khidr) "May I follow you so that you teach me something of that knowledge (guidance and true path) which you have been taught (by Allah)?"

He (Khidr) said: "Verily! You will not be able to have patience with me! And how can you have patience about a thing which you know not?"

Moses said: "If Allah will, you will find me patient, and I will not disobey you in aught."
He (Khidr) said: "Then, if you follow me, ask me not about anything till I myself mention it to you.

So they both proceeded, till, when they were in the ship, he (Khidr) scuttled it. Moses said: "Have you scuttled it in order to drown its people? Verily, you have done Imra - a Munkar (evil, bad, dreadful) thing."

He (Khidr) said: "Did I not tell you, that you would not be able to have patience with me?"
(Moses) said: "Call me not to account for what I forgot, and be not hard upon me for my affair (with you)."

Then they both proceeded, till they met a boy, he (Khidr) killed him. Moses said: "Have you killed an innocent person who had killed none? Verily, you have done Nukra a great Munkar (prohibited, evil, dreadful) thing!"

(Khidr) said: "Did I not tell you that you can have no patience with me?"
(Moses) said: "If I ask you anything after this, keep me not in your company, you have received an excuse from me."
Then they both proceeded, till, when they came to the people of a town, they asked them for food, but they refused to entertain them. Then they found therein a wall about to collapse and he (Khidr) set it up straight. (Moses) said: "If you had wished, surely you could have taken wages for it!"

(Khidr) said: "This is the parting between me and you. I will tell you the interpretation of (those) things over which you were unable to hold patience.
'As for the ship, it belonged to poor people working in the sea. So I wished to make a defective damage in it, as there was a king after them who seized every ship by force.

"And as for the boy, his parents were believers, and we feared lest he should oppress them by rebellion and disbelief. So we intended that their Lord should change him for them for one better in righteousness and near to mercy.
"And as for the wall, it belonged to two orphan boys in the town; and there was under it a treasure belonging to them; and their father was a righteous man, and your Lord intended that they should attain their age of full strength and take out their treasure as a mercy from your Lord. And I did it not of my own accord. That is the interpretation of those (things) over which you could not hold patience. Surah 18: 60-82

- See more at: http://www.alim.org/library/biography/stories/content/SOP/7/17/Musa%20(Moses)/The%20Story%20Moses%20and%20Al-Khidr#sthash.jt6nEHF4.dpuf
now you see this story makes us understand that for every thing Allah does there is always a beautiful reason behind it even if initially we wonder like moses did. without those explanation khidr made we would have ordinarily called him a kafir how on earth will he kill an inocent boy? you wonder.
now going further if Allah had closed the door of polygyny we would definitely for certain have alot more fasad on earth. Allah knows our nature is knowledge is infinite and he knew how he created man.
now to question A. The percent of women not satisfied by a man is very minute compared the percentage of men not satisfied by a man. for example in an organization of more that 100 women and 100 man when asked anonymously how many of the women were not satisfied by their husband not one single one said they weren't satisfied but of course a lot of men did say they werent. so of course a general rule cannot be made for a minute few but a general rule will be made for a larger percentage of people. so there fore a general rule for a man to be able to marry more than one. now for the exceptional case that a woman is not satisfied by her man islam has given room for divorce, Islam didnt box any woman into any marriage, she should divorce the man and i guarantee you that she will get a man that will satisfy her all year round. so you see Islam is not equality islam is justice.
A2. My sis that line of thinking does hold water (are you married?) abstinence when you are not married is very easy, you probably haven't tasted it before, or you just feel the time will soon come so you are waiting temporarily, but when you are married it becomes very difficult to abstain cos now you have tasted and you just dont want to wait, you see your off hijab (naked wife) every day and cant touch her(abstinace), let give examples I know women who from the first day they get pregnant to the day they wean their baby want no man to touch them they become tigress during that period so it means the man waits for two years to have sex with his wife. some women menstruate for 8 to 15 days, some women have very low libido and cant do more than once a week and their hubby want every day or every other day, what happen? so you see abstinence not the solution (remenber islam is about justice not equality)
B. B. Does Islam care for the emotional/psychological state of the women in these marriages? Aisha's reports of jealousy are well documented despite being the favoured wife. What did the other women feel like even as the peophet chose her laps for his final moments.
Competition/jealousy and bad belles throughout a marital life is not something I'd wish anyone so I keep on wondering if it is worthwhile.
Islam does care about the emotional / psychological state of the women in these marriages of course and that is why Allah says he who doesn't treat all his wifes well will be raised with half is body rotten and in hell. the other women (Aisha RA mates) were far older women who were matured and elderly, also remenber the prophet gave the women option of staying married to him or leaving him but they choose to stay. Healthy competition and jealousy is very necessary for all marriages whether monogamy or polygyny, now if the competition or jealousy is not healthy it is the human fault not Allah and we shouldn't use that to say that the door of polygyny should be closed NO NO. cos

PENMIGHT: WHO IS ALLAAH? Answer this question appropriately and i will determine whether u worth my time or not.
Feel free to ask Google!.

@underlined, Do you have any idea who you are dealing with?
Allah is God, the Most Wise, Most Exhalted.

Salam alaikum brethren,
I just stumbled on this thread today and I feel I should also make my Own contributions.
Let Me acknowledge the fact that the contributions so far have been informative and expository. Informing the populace of what Islam really teaches and exposing the fact that there's always a long way to go in the deen.

@Thread, In Islam as we all know. To become a complete believer you have to believe in the Ghayb(unseen), just as not doing that is tantamount to rendering a person non believer. Thus this goes to testify that there are many things that we lack knowledge about but we must believe in because we're Muslims. The Hereafter, paradise, hellfire, Destiny, etc. fall under this category. Thus we heard about them all and we believe them. So, the question of hurun 'een fall under this category and as a male or female we must believe all these and how it will all happen whether it's against our reasoning or not.
Secondly, the issue of polygyny is clearly defined in the Quran and it's an obligation on everybody to play according to the rules of Allah and his prophet Muhammad SAW. We I'll should also try to desist from the questioning of Allah's commandments as Allah said in the Quran: (roughly translated) It's not for a believing male or female if Allah or his messenger has made a commandment that they should have a choice (khiyara) from their commandments...
Finally as Muslims we're distinguished in many aspects and that really makes us Muslims. We should thus desist from the whispers of Shaitaan and we should really mind what we utter and always pray to Allah for his consistent guidance.
Rabbana laa tuzigh quluubana ba'da idh hadaitana Wa hab lanaa min ladunka rahmatan innaka antal wahhab.

That was hilarious! May Allaah grant Deols and us all good comprehension.

There is wisdom to be derived from your post.
Let's look at this:

Why did Khidr used ( TAS-TA-TI' ) in verse 78 and used a different word (TAS -TI') in verse 82 to describe the same attitude of Musa.?

He used TAS-TA-TI' which is HARDER to pronounce to describe the HARDSHIP Musa brought upon himself by allowing himself to be misguided by his seeming perspetion of things and arguments which were obviously defective.
This tells us "ALLAAH KNOWS, AND WE DO NOT KNOW". The more "our musa" argues with Allah's decree the Harder things get..

Come to verse 82,Khidr used TAS-TI which is SIMPLER cos the affairs of man becomes much EASIER when he is guided by ALLAAH and by exercising PATIENCE(which was obvoiusly lacking in Musa AS) in obeying His injunctions,even if they seeming look ambiguous.

So may Allaah make the affairs of Deols and us all TAS-TI and not TAS-TA-TI'.
Allaah is the Source of Hidaayah.

bntY: On a lighter note.Deols i was readin surah khaf yest. and i remembered you.By your fiesty nature, you would hav reflexly smacked khidr right inside d boat were you to be Musa. I hav a feeling you wont last till d third lesson cos you would hav departed frm that ostensibly 'evil man' when he killed d poor boy.Lol.

onegig: I understand your penchant for defending the North madam. Lol.

However, all i said there was "might" or maybe i edit it and include might in it. No one is sure why they haven't pursued justice. It might be that they don't even know that an injustice has been done to them. So why even bother.


Aside that. Please in all sincerity. Do you think paying them or "settling" them in the light of the circumstances leading to their divorce just? Lets leave the difference in North and south out. Would you personally accept you get married to a guy and after years he decides to marry someone nubile based on his lustful desires and because you are "surplus" to needs (i.e 4 wives) accept payment of "money" to you as justice? Forget pre nups. We have established that instituting that he can't marry more than one in pre nups is invalid as you can't make what's halal haram for him through an agreement.

its not about defending the north, different societies and its peculiarities. more women are indifferent about polygyny there and therefore the badbelle and maltreatment etc is to large degree lesser.

either polygyny or monogamy when divorce occurs the best than can be done is to pay the wife or husband, in most societies, A man/woman cant be forced by any law, religion or society to stay married to a woman/man if she/he really desperately want out.
the payment is not restricted to polygyny, it occurs in monogamy. either its best or fair or not thats what it is. is it fair to a man/woman to stay married to who they really dont want and then both live frustrated lives? (not talking about yerima but generally).

i have seen/read cases where a woman/man refused to grant a divorce and the husband/wife moved in with his/her mistress/boyfriend the only thing is they are not legally married, but she has children for him. now is that a better option? we do not leave in an ideal/perfect world, the sooner we realise this the better.

we women need to seek knowledge for ourselves and pray for wisdom in other to have personal convictions about why the laws are the way they are.

Scholar, i don't have spare energy to dissipate on you.

usermane:
@underlined, Do you have any idea who you are dealing with?
Allah is God, the Most Wise, Most Exhalted.

PENMIGHT: Scholar, i don't have spare energy to dissipate on you.

Run, just run.

Sissie:

either polygyny or monogamy when divorce occurs the best than can be done is to pay the wife or husband, in most societies, A man/woman cant be forced by any law, religion or society to stay married to a woman/man if she/he really desperately want out. now is that a better option?

We do not leave in an ideal/perfect world, the sooner we realise this the better.

I understand your point but you don't get mine. This is not about divorce or no divorce.


Lets say Mr A has 4 wives already, he now has that desire to marry one more extra but the number permissible is 4. To be able to achieve his aim he uses the substitution method. Divorce one add a new one.

Here, it's not a classical case of disagreements and irreconciliable differences that is why there's a need for divorce but this time it is pure lust.

Is the act of the man just and valid as regards the Islamic ruling on marriage?

My Answer: This is invalid. You can't just divorce someone for any flimsy excuse and we all know now that the permissibility of polygyny here is not to "test new waters".

So If you were the woman affected, is payment of money to you just? Do you see that as equitable justice? I want a personal answer.

@Deols,Mufti Ismail Menk answered most of these questions you raised in his lecture titled'Misconceptions about Islam' download and listen to it. I used to have similar questions about Islam and I'm glad I found satisfying answers.
You can also download this lecture by Mufti menk"Muslim women are they oppressed"

Bnty is d best..lol

deols: Bnty is d best..lol

Thank God that you have been restored back to default settings. Go and sin no more.

For those invoking Quran 18:60-82, here is my token:
I wonder what would be of the world if Pagans making child sacrifices or the Church embarking on forced conversion played their acts down with "GOD KNOWS BEST, WE ONLY FOLLOW". Please, lets think(Quran 10:100). Moses' story taught that even the most knowledgeable of men know nothing but what he is taught by God and one must avoid jumping to hasty conclusions.
This isn't a lesson that one must shut up and take whatever teachings he heard about God, particularly when these teachings aren't directly from God, the Messenger himself or when one is even reconsidering his faith. If you cannot explain the genuiness of your beliefs to a doubter without resorting to "GOD KNOWS AND WE DONT!", then i say; happy dogmatism. This isn't a questioning of God 's authority. Even The Messenger cleared Moses' doubts, responding to Moses with genuine answers in the end, not asking the latter to leave it for God.
Not that all these concerns me anyway, afterall beyond family/gender issues, there are more controversial issues like apostacy or double standard treatment of non-muslims; within orthodox Islam.

deols:

But there is nothing in Islam that points to a geographical variation.

What I am saying is, someone who wants to follow the prophet as the best of examples will do everything that he did, irrespective of the consequences.

I don't agree with that statement.

Almajiri's for example are a thing only found in Hausaland (Nigeria, Niger, parts of Ghana and Burkina Faso and possibly Mali and Chad). You won't find Almajiri's in other parts of the world.

Too much drama!

ameenahz:

well, call it whatever you choose to call it, i am happy. I am satisfied with Islam and in shaa Allah, i'll live by it till the day i breath my last. I can reason too. I have only chosen to put my faith in Him. If you think like this, why do you believe there is a God in the first place? Reasoning is good, yes. We should apply common sense, yes. But we should know our boundary when it comes to things we can not really offer explanations for

OK, that's fine. I respect that.

Yesterday, I was thinking, what if I die now and someone mistakenly mentions it on NL then people here, might think, 'eeyah, what a bad state to die'...lol.


I didnt't cahnge religion o. I am a Muslim!




Will lock the thread.

Thanks..na go de. E se.

deols: Yesterday, I was thinking, what if I die now and someone mistakenly mentions it on NL then people here, might think, 'eeyah, what a bad state to die'...lol.


I didnt't cahnge religion o. I am a Muslim!




Will lock the thread.

Thanks..na go de. E se.

Very funny. But it really doesn't matter. No one knows the relationship you have with your Lord.

I just hope/pray that most if not all your questions were answered to a reasonable extent.

ameenahz:

Very funny. But it really doesn't matter. No one knows the relationship you have with your Lord.

I just hope/pray that most if not all your questions were answered to a reasonable extent.

It doesnt. Was just, u know keeping to the light mood

I am not actually satisfied by the responses. They all said things I already know and usermane expressed some of my thoughts. I dont want 2 say too much anymore though.

We take the mercy of Allah for granted way tooo many times. I was thinking about this thread and I asked myself, For those women who are married or have had intercourse with a man, barring societal judgement aside (also remove religion) , would you seriously desire more than one partner?? Could you handle more than one husband

I am sure that there are women that would say yes but they will be a minority. Contrast this with asking men the same question and the people who desire more than one partner would be in the majority.

Men and women are not built the same way. We are different in so many ways that you do not even need religion to reveal this. Trying to make us the same is tantamount to requesting a male organ for the female and every other apparatus.

Please note that this post is not about equality, equity or any thing in that line. It is just about our very nature. We are not the same and no amount of theories and conjectures will change that.

So the One who created us all knows this and made provisions for us. Understanding of course comes only with knowledge and reflection which is wisdom.
If your man is trying to flout the Islamic law, you can call him out on it and even if you are unable to change his mind, if he truly fears Allah, his conscience could at least redirect him.

May Allah grow us in good deeds, Amin

ayinba1: We take the mercy of Allah for granted way tooo many times. I was thinking about this thread and I asked myself, For those women who are married or have had intercourse with a man, barring societal judgement aside (also remove religion) , would you seriously desire more than one partner?? Could you handle more than one husband

I am sure that there are women that would say yes but they will be a minority. Contrast this with asking men the same question and the people who desire more than one partner would be in the majority.

Men and women are not built the same way. We are different in so many ways that you do not even need religion to reveal this. Trying to make us the same is tantamount to requesting a male organ for the female and every other apparatus.

Please note that this post is not about equality, equity or any thing in that line. It is just about our very nature. We are not the same and no amount of theories and conjectures will change that.

So the One who created us all knows this and made provisions for us. Understanding of course comes only with knowledge and reflection which is wisdom.
If your man is trying to flout the Islamic law, you can call him out on it and even if you are unable to change his mind, if he truly fears Allah, his conscience could at least redirect him.

May Allah grow us in good deeds, Amin

From a psychological perspective, many men and women lust, some can control their lust better than others.

Having more than 1 woman is a task for men. Most men only want more than 1 woman for lust of the heart and the fact that they feel that they can not be physically satisfied by just one woman. In reality, if a man truly loves a woman, he would only be with one woman, the woman he loves. His love for that woman would be so deep that he could not lay eye on another woman.

Fulaman198:

From a psychological perspective, many men and women lust, some can control their lust better than others.

Having more than 1 woman is a task for men. Most men only want more than 1 woman for lust of the heart and the fact that they feel that they can not be physically satisfied by just one woman. In reality, if a man truly loves a woman, he would only be with one woman, the woman he loves. His love for that woman would be so deep that he could not lay eye on another woman .

having more than one is definitely more task.

@bolded i want us to discuss this not from the gender aspect but from love/marriage/relationship aspect applicable to both genders. in reality without looking at it from a religious perspective. Lots of men and women cheat on their partners, infact this so rampant in many societies that it has become a norm especially for men. how many men have had just 1 sex partner all their lives? are they the majority or minority?
if in reality if a man TRULY loves his woman he would only be with her that he could not lay eyes on another, then that means true love is almost unattainable for many, and they would never experience such love, not a minute few but a large percentage. what then stops them from lusting?

if his love for that particular woman is so strong he could not lay eyes on another what happen when he loses his spouse to death does he remain single forever?

do you believe love conquers all, we only love 1 person "the one", and that theirs only 1 soulmate?

usermane: For those invoking Quran 18:60-82, here is my token:
I wonder what would be of the world if Pagans making child sacrifices or the Church embarking on forced conversion played their acts down with "GOD KNOWS BEST, WE ONLY FOLLOW". Please, lets think(Quran 10:100). Moses' story taught that even the most knowledgeable of men know nothing but what he is taught by God and one must avoid jumping to hasty conclusions.
This isn't a lesson that one must shut up and take whatever teachings he heard about God, particularly when these teachings aren't directly from God, the Messenger himself or when one is even reconsidering his faith. If you cannot explain the genuiness of your beliefs to a doubter without resorting to "GOD KNOWS AND WE DONT!", then i say; happy dogmatism. This isn't a questioning of God 's authority. Even The Messenger cleared Moses' doubts, responding to Moses with genuine answers in the end, not asking the latter to leave it for God.
Not that all these concerns me anyway, afterall beyond family/gender issues, there are more controversial issues like apostacy or double standard treatment of non-muslims; within orthodox Islam.

the story of moses and khidr is not a shut up lesson, or we only follow.
the lesson of that story is we need patience, you need patience to not just hear but truly LISTEN. moses had patience and went through the whole journey with khidr before he answered. knowledge , understanding and wisdom are different things.
moses was knowledgeable, but didn't have the wisdom to understand what khidr was doing until he khidr explained.

I believe most people on this thread explained some of the laws, you either understand or don't, or its not sufficient enough and you go seek further answers.

Sissie:

the story of moses and khidr is not a shut up lesson, or we only follow.
the lesson of that story is we need patience, moses had patience and went through the whole journey with khidr before he answered. knowledge , understanding and wisdom are different things.
moses was knowledgeable, but didn't have the wisdom to understand what khidr was doing until he khidr explained.

I believe most people on this thread explained some of the laws, you either understand or don't, or its not sufficient enough and you go seek further answers.

Can u share this story here..moses and khidr