The last time we had a disagreement, (that was last year) he left the house for 4 weeks. In those 4 weeks, he spoke with our daughter twice!

Glitterdust:

Nice? Yes. Well, he was hardly ever home early. He comes home between 12 and 3 a.m., by then my 3yr old would have gone to bed asking whether dad was coming home that night.

He buys stuff for them and makes sure they never lack anything. But whenever we have issues, he distances himself entirely from them. And even stops bringing money for their feeding.

On one occassion, he was talking to a newly wed couple and said that he loves his kids to death but that the love he has for them flows from the love he has for me and that anyday I piss him off, that he would completely forget me and by extension, my children...

Abasi! which kind man be that? well I believe they will not miss him much then.All the best sis, take care.

Splendblex:
Abasi! which kind man be that? well I believe they will not miss him much then.All the best sis, take care.

My daughter loves him silly. Between friday and sunday, she would just break down and cry. "I want my daddy to come back; I want my daddy to be a good man". It broke my heart but I had to do what I had to do. My parents spoke with her and since then, she hasn't shed one tear again.

@ OP
Seeing as no one asked, do you think there is anything you have done that contributed to this?
I am just saying because sometimes things like this do not just make sense to me. People do not get upset for no reason. I see it too often here that we only hear one side of the story. Unless you are going to admit to us that prior to getting married to him he was a total a***hole.

I am just mostly saying it takes two, or there is some other underlying factor.

chrisbenogor: @ OP
Seeing as no one asked, do you think three is anything you have done that contributed to this?
I am just saying because sometimes things like this do not just make sense to me. People do not get upset for no reason. I see it too often here that we only hear one side of the story. Unless you are going to admit to us that prior to getting married to him he was a total a***hole.

I am just mostly saying it takes two, or there is some other underlying factor.

My brother, I am not a saint and make mistakes too. But I thought that as I am able to accomodate his excesses, that he should be able to accomodate mine too. But one thing I know is that something is wrong somewhere.

The last time we quarrelled, his entire family said I wasn't leaving. If I were that bad, they would have supported him to chase me out.

In all, there's an underlying factor but I can't go into all that now.

Glitterdust:

My brother, I am not a saint and make mistakes too. But I thought that as I am able to accomodate his excesses, that he should be able to accomodate mine too. But one thing I know is that something is wrong somewhere.

The last time we quarrelled, his entire family said I wasn't leaving. If I were that bad, they would have supported him to chase me out.

This isn't what I should be saying but some lady said he would never be happy in any marriage. I think its affecting him but he's in denial...

Well I agree with you that something is wrong somewhere. Just to ask a few more questions, was this quarrel another one off? were you guys already fighting before he left the house? Could you also throw more light as to the nature of your relationship with him prior to this recent fight and also what the fight was all about?

Asides from things becoming physical with his nephews which I think could have been avoided, I do not see running away from a problem as the solution. Thing is your position right now what purpose does it really serve? Technically, he did not send you out of the house. You have to find a way to get through to him, we cannot go back to the past but surely you know at what stage things in the marriage started to deteriorate.

Na wa o. What does he mean his love for his kids is dependent on how much love he has for their mother. Most people who have the capacity to love will love their kids more than their spouse sef. Though it should be the spouse that comes first. A real parent will fight tooth and nail for their child.

I am sorry but you have a man-child as a husband. This one will be petty and can totally cut off his kids to prove a point. He will also be very childish. My dear don't bother trying to understand his reasons because they are far below what a regular adult can comprehend. Just maintain your side and face your life. You guys should stop giving him attention and treat him like the child he is. He will come back to fight, that one is sure. Very dramatic person.

OP, you also took your power away when your husband can leave the house for 4 weeks over an argument and you accept it. Sometimes it does not pay to keep quiet on unacceptable things because they grow wings. You might ignore some things because you do now want to look troublesome, but those same things will be the end of your marriage if you don't put a stop to it. There is obviously a woman out there he is spending so much time with.

Don't worry, he seems to be someone with very frivolous attachments. That woman who thinks she is winning is in for a big shock. The day he gets bored of her, he will chase her away and on to his next interest. His type can't have love or loyalty to anyone so don't blame yourself.

Wowwww...nkan be

Op, you are truly a strong woman and I pray that God gives you more strength.
For real something is truly wrong somewhere but let him sort it out himself.
Make yourself stronger and be happy for your kids and your unborn child.
Like you've been advised, let him know about the pregnancy even if it's through text message so that he won't accuse you of infidelity in the future.

Glitterdust: I am in my early 30's, married with two kids. Living with my MIL and two of my husband's nephews... (btw, I am a stay-at-home mum at the insistence of my husband..

My husband and I have always had issues but the basis of my story isn't the constant battery, emotional and psychological assault.

On thursday night, I had a minor misunderstanding with one of my husband's nephews and it resulted into a fight where the two boys pounced on me and beat me up. Hubby was not at home at the time so I called him but the phone went off after I mentioned what happened ..I called him severally but he refused to answer so I called my folks who advised that I should wait for him to come back.

That night, he didn't come baick but from the telephone conversations I heard, he was calling and speaking with MIL and his nephews.

On friday, I called him and spoke with him briefly. I was already fed up with the marriage and had decided that if he makes it back home that friday night that i'd tell him that since he was clearly unhappy in the marriage and constantly reminded me that he made a mistake marrying me that we should separate for sometime. He didn't come back that night and also didn't take my calls.

So on saturday, I packed my things and left with my kids for my parent's house.

On sunday, I did a test and found out that I was pregnant. I haven't called him and he hasn't called us either because he always made it clear that he didn't care about me or the kids.

I want to send him an sms and tell him about the pregnancy. What do I do?

Stay with your parents
Have your baby
Intensify job search
Move on with your life

The man doesn't care a thing about you,you could be dying and he will walk over you to go about his business
You have to love your self.It may have even been a plan with his relatives to beat you up,what else could explain the reason he didn't show up after the beating.

Move on Nne!
You married a goat,you didn't know it then,now you know,you do better
let this give you the strength to succeed

Ny man dat will tell me not 2 work has not been born!

dahmie2013: Ny man dat will tell me not 2 work has not been born!

i am here

DONT WORK

pickabeau1:

i am here

DONT WORK

U wish dear!

dahmie2013:

U wish dear!

Wishes and horses..

Chrisbenogor:
Well I agree with you that something is wrong somewhere. Just to ask a few more questions, was this quarrel another one off? were you guys already fighting before he left the house? Could you also throw more light as to the nature of your relationship with him prior to this recent fight and also what the fight was all about?

Asides from things becoming physical with his nephews which I think could have been avoided, I do not see running away from a problem as the solution. Thing is your position right now what purpose does it really serve? Technically, he did not send you out of the house. You have to find a way to get through to him, we cannot go back to the past but surely you know at what stage things in the marriage started to deteriorate.

No. We were good that day and was why I called him to tell him and was shocked that he didn't respond. My brother, the truth is that I'm at peace now. I don't have to worry about the next cause of fight.

The reason I left was because I had begged him severally to get a house where we would live since he was always complaining about his nephews and how wild and treacherous they are. Yet he refused.

Glitterdust:

No. We were good that day and was why I called him to tell him and was shocked that he didn't respond. My brother, the truth is that I'm at peace now. I don't have to worry about the next cause of fight.

The reason I left was because I had begged him severally to get a house where we would live since he was always complaining about his nephews and how wild and treacherous they are. Yet he refused.

My sister,nothing is wrong nowhere.Your husband has made up his mind while ago,and from all indications the guy had enough.
When men behave irrationally,people always try to justify their behaviours and cooking all sorts of excuses for them.
You reached your turning point,you had enough and that is comprehensible.Sometimes when you try within you to do anything to save a marriage,to keep a loved one and who you fighting for is unmoved or indifferent just pick yourself up and move on.

Focus on your kids and leave the past,worry not about the IF or MAYBE.
God in his own time,will make everything perfect.

baby124: Na wa o. What does he mean his love for his kids is dependent on how much love he has for their mother. Most people who have the capacity to love will love their kids more than their spouse sef. Though it should be the spouse that comes first. A real parent will fight tooth and nail for their child.

I am sorry but you have a man-child as a husband. This one will be petty and can totally cut off his kids to prove a point. He will also be very childish. My dear don't bother trying to understand his reasons because they are far below what a regular adult can comprehend. Just maintain your side and face your life. You guys should stop giving him attention and treat him like the child he is. He will come back to fight, that one is sure. Very dramatic person.

OP, you also took your power away when your husband can leave the house for 4 weeks over an argument and you accept it. Sometimes it does not pay to keep quiet on unacceptable things because they grow wings. You might ignore some things because you do now want to look troublesome, but those same things will be the end of your marriage if you don't put a stop to it. There is obviously a woman out there he is spending so much time with.

Don't worry, he seems to be someone with very frivolous attachments. That woman who thinks she is winning is in for a big shock. The day he gets bored of her, he will chase her away and on to his next interest. His type can't have love or loyalty to anyone so don't blame yourself.

I put up with a lot of things just so that I could keep my marriage.

If your hubby comes home everyday between 12 and 3 am, would u be obliged to make food for him, and massage his feet till he sleeps? Then wake up tomorrow afraid of what will happen next...

I thank God for everything.

Glitterdust:

No. We were good that day and was why I called him to tell him and was shocked that he didn't respond. My brother, the truth is that I'm at peace now. I don't have to worry about the next cause of fight.

The reason I left was because I had begged him severally to get a house where we would live since he was always complaining about his nephews and how wild and treacherous they are. Yet he refused.

Oh well if you say you are at peace now then all fair and square. I am not a prophet of doom, human beings suffer from a short attention span, when events happen in our lives that have only a 3 to 4 month even a one year span we seem to think that it is forever.
When you made your vows in church that day you should have known what for better or for worse means, I am not saying you should kill yourself but he has not been violent to you thus far and I reiterate that technically he has not sent you away from the house. You left.

So lets say you are fixed good now, how about your kids? How about what they deserve? To be honest with you I do not think you have told us the full story here. Your husband should not behave this way leaving the house and not coming back, my experience however tells me that it takes two and until we hear his own side of the story I am afraid the jury is out. At least to me.

In all I wish you the best.

Cheers.

Chrisbenogor:
Oh well if you say you are at peace now then all fair and square. I am not a prophet of doom, human beings suffer from a short attention span, when events happen in our lives that have only a 3 to 4 month even a one year span we seem to think that it is forever.
When you made your vows in church that day you should have known what for better or for worse means, I am not saying you should kill yourself but[b] he has not been violent to you [/b]thus far and I reiterate that technically he has not sent you away from the house. You left.

So lets say you are fixed good now, how about your kids? How about what they deserve? To be honest with you I do not think you have told us the full story here. Your husband should not behave this way leaving the house and not coming back, my experience however tells me that it takes two and until we hear his own side of the story I am afraid the jury is out. At least to me.

In all I wish you the best.

Cheers.

Guess you didn't read from the start. Go back and read her story again, then come back to give your advice.

jumzzy448:

Guess you didn't read from the start. Go back and read her story again, then come back to give your advice.

So I went back and read the thread all over again, I don't know about you but I try my best to be balanced when I make my view points known. Going by what has just happened then people would not even remain married. Single folks come in to read this thread and if this is what it would take for marriages to break down then why go into it?

Now let us look at the facts of what happened (according to her)

On thursday night, I had a minor misunderstanding with one of my husband's nephews and it resulted into a fight where the two boys pounced on me and beat me up. Hubby was not at home at the time so I called him but the phone went off after I mentioned what happened ..I called him severally but he refused to answer so I called my folks who advised that I should wait for him to come back.

That night, he didn't come baick but from the telephone conversations I heard, he was calling and speaking with MIL and his nephews.

On friday, I called him and spoke with him briefly. I was already fed up with the marriage and had decided that if he makes it back home that friday night that i'd tell him that since he was clearly unhappy in the marriage and constantly reminded me that he made a mistake marrying me that we should separate for sometime. He didn't come back that night and also didn't take my calls.

There was a misunderstanding on thursday and then on saturday she was out of her husbands house. The time frame was short to me and the fact that she was preggers triggered the question in my head of what state this marriage was at before this misunderstanding on thursday. It seems from what I gather she wrote

Glitterdust: The last time we had a disagreement, (that was last year) he left the house for 4 weeks. In those 4 weeks, he spoke with our daughter twice!

I am guessing what she is saying from here is that the last time they had a major disagreement was a year ago.....and even then he had left the house for 4 weeks. So there is a pattern here, telling us all the evil things he has done without for one mentioning what role she has played in all this is not being fair to the man.

Violence should not be condoned, however this does not make sense without proper context.

2. The boys are naturally wild but whenever their uncle comes back from work, the pretence starts. I just corrected one of them on leaving the living room door open and that was it. He raised his voice at me asking what I'd do and that was it.

After he asked what did she reply? What did he reply? Who struck first? that is what we should be asking
Anyone who just pounces on anybody because they got asked why they did not shut a door belongs in a psychiatric ward. So like I said it must have been enabled, of course restraint should have been shown on both sides. The nephews could have walked away or she should have picked it up somewhere else. Anyways they are wrong to have raised their hands on her and in my opinion deserve to leave the house. However let it not look like she was sitting peacefully and then she got attacked.


What really here is the problem? At least she admits that they were good prior to the incident, I also do not have a time frame for when he did the things he is supposedly done, did he constantly go out and come back by 12 am everyday? Is that the issue? Has he one time or the other gotten angry and said horrible stuff oh probably when was that?

In my very honest opinion, this issue is not yet enough for her to have packed out just like that. Unless of course deep down she should admit that she is no longer ready for the marriage, at least she should own up to it and not achieve it by painting her hubby as the only one who does not want it.


Anyways, what do I know.....

Glitterdust:

I put up with a lot of things just so that I could keep my marriage.

If your hubby comes home everyday between 12 and 3 am, would u be obliged to make food for him, and massage his feet till he sleeps? Then wake up tomorrow afraid of what will happen next...

I thank God for everything.

My dear you did too much ,next time don't do all that servant and slave sumtin
Women think they win a loving place in a man's heart by becoming lower than dirt


Hear this from a veteran who has been in this marriage business a while


Men love and respect a woman who loves and respects them and is also strong woman who can hold their own
The biggest mistake you made was agreeing to be a housewife
Don't ever allow yourself to be controlled financially ever again
There is a level of respect you gain by having some independence
No matter how much a man provides,you must bring something to the table to be respected
The same man will turn around and call you a liability when the thing go shele ,don't put yourself in that position
Men by nature are controlling
It takes the wisdom of a woman to set limits to his control
You have to subtly lay down the rules of what you will put up with and what you will not
If a man decides to come in at midnight ,he certainly won't be getting dinner from me and if I were to massage his feet,it will be with razor blade
You could be doing these things and always trying yo please because you think by not working,you are somewhat diminished so you need to "love more"
That is not love, love doesn't hurt
If you had a job,at the end of the day,the last thing on your mind is massaging any feet
Did he ever massage yours?
Let that be the last feet you ever massaged Nne,you have massaged enough


[b]Just before my wedding,I would sit Up and talk with my mom well into the night and she would tell me words of wisdom night after night
One of the things she said is " my daughter, you go into marriage because you love but you stay in it and enjoy it with 100% wisdom and commonsense" and that is so true.Marriage needs a whole load of commonsense .
Another word my mother said was " my daughter,anything you know will be going out yourself to do and anything you know will cause problems when you stop doing it,don't ever start it" then she told me a story of how she used to wash and iron my father's clothes till the babies started coming and she was Still working full time and washing and ironing his clothes and finally had to tell Him to wash his own clothes and the man sparked, a major argument ensued but she stuck to her guns.
I learned a lot from that.
Don't take on more than you can handle from the get go
Love and also apply a whole load of sense and use style to teach the man to do things for himself and not to disrespect you.
[/b]
He may kick against it at first,they all do but eventually he will go along with it,I am speaking from experience here
You need to train your man to respect you.

I remember a young lady here who was marrying into another culture and was asking who she should kneel for and not kneel for and how long she should kneel and people were giving all sorts of advise including kneeling for husband's sisters and relatives younger than her
I said Nne,if this kneeling thing is not your style bow your knees and greet everyone that appears older than you respectfully and move on from day one.
If you kneel today and stop kneeling tomorrow,you become a bad wife.
But if from the very first time you stand on your two feet,the way you feel comfortable and greet everyone,they know this is your style from day one and they will get used to it.
People should simplify their lives as much as possible

Let the young ladies, learn from this story.
Do whatever is within your power to live with your husband and husband only, in the first years of marriage
No inlaws or outlaws on permanent basis and absolutely not in you MIL's house

Jobless and living with your MIL and her grandchildren and your husband under the same roof
A suicidal combination
You are strong o

Glitterdust:

No Mac, he wont come back. My dad called him today which was only natural to say "I saw ur wife and kids here. What's going on?" But he refused to pick up.

If he comes back, I aint going nowhere!

If he does not come for you, he will come for the kids. I doubt he will disappear from your life 100%. You should prepare for his coming.

maclatunji:

If he does not come for you, he will come for the kids. I doubt he will disappear from your life 100%. You should prepare for his coming.

@ OP,Nigeria has changed a lot for the better
There are NGOs out there that will help you keep your children
Don't ask him for any upkeep and if he doesn't provide anything,he up has no claims to the kids till they are of age and if you do your job well,they won't miss him
My aunt was abandoned and her kids taken away by husband but she eventually got them back thanks to the NGO
My best friend from high school was abandoned with three kids,she eventually remarried 4 years after and changed the kids first and last names and got her new husband to adopt her kids legally and the ex is gone from their lives forever.
This is 2014
Men can no longer walk off then return and want to claim relationship with kids they didn't raise or try and snatch them by force
The law today will work against him
Give him a year or two to establish relationship with the kids,if he doesn't,you are free to legally terminate his parental rights through the court and these NGOs will help you

Do not worry about this just yet but make enquiries later about what I am saying



As far as I am concerned a man who abandons me and kids has lost the children forever
I will take every legal route to make sure it stays that way

babymama3:

@ OP,Nigeria has changed a lot for the better
There are NGOs out there that will help you keep your children
Don't ask him for any upkeep and if he doesn't provide anything,he up has no claims to the kids till they are of age and if you do your job well,they won't miss him
My aunt was abandoned and her kids taken away by husband but she eventually got them back thanks to the NGO
My best friend from high school was abandoned with three kids,she eventually remarried 4 years after and changed the kids first and last names and got her new husband to adopt her kids legally and the ex is gone from their lives forever.
This is 2014
Men can no longer walk off then return and want to claim relationship with kids they didn't raise or try and snatch them by force
The law today will work against him
Give him a year or two to establish relationship with the kids,if he doesn't,you are free to legally terminate his parental rights through the court and these NGOs will help you

Do not worry about this just yet but make enquiries later about what I am saying



As far as I am concerned a man who abandons me and kids has lost the children forever
I will take every legal route to make sure it stays that way

Normally I would let things like this slide but this is totally wrong. Is that girl power just mush mushes the way ladies think or what?

Technically she took the kids out of the house without his consent. She walked away from the house.

371. Any person who, with intent to deprive any parent, guardian, or other person who has the lawful care or charge of a child under the age of twelve years, of the possession of such child, or with intent to steal any article upon or about the person of any such child-

(1) forcibly or fraudulently takes or entices away, or detains the child; or

(2) receives or harbours the child, knowing it to have been so taken or enticed away or detained;

is guilty of a felony, and is liable to imprisonment for fourteen years.

It is a defence to a charge of any of the offences defined in this section to prove that the accused person claimed in good faith a right to the possession of the child, or, in the case of an illegitimate child, is its mother or claimed to be its father.

372. Any person who being the parent, guardian or other person having the lawful care or charge of a child under the age of twelve years, and being able to maintain such child, wilfully and without lawful or reasonable cause deserts the child and leaves it without means of support, is guilty of a misdemeanour, and is liable to imprisonment for one year

Any charge and bail lawyer can bring this case to an end before it even starts. SMH

Chrisbenogor:

So I went back and read the thread all over again, I don't know about you but I try my best to be balanced when I make my view points known. Going by what has just happened then people would not even remain married. Single folks come in to read this thread and if this is what it would take for marriages to break down then why go into it?

Now let us look at the facts of what happened (according to her)


There was a misunderstanding on thursday and then on saturday she was out of her husbands house. The time frame was short to me and the fact that she was preggers triggered the question in my head of what state this marriage was at before this misunderstanding on thursday. It seems from what I gather she wrote


I am guessing what she is saying from here is that the last time they had a major disagreement was a year ago.....and even then he had left the house for 4 weeks. So there is a pattern here, telling us all the evil things he has done without for one mentioning what role she has played in all this is not being fair to the man.

Violence should not be condoned, however this does not make sense without proper context.

After he asked what did she reply? What did he reply? Who struck first? that is what we should be asking
Anyone who just pounces on anybody because they got asked why they did not shut a door belongs in a psychiatric ward. So like I said it must have been enabled, of course restraint should have been shown on both sides. The nephews could have walked away or she should have picked it up somewhere else. Anyways they are wrong to have raised their hands on her and in my opinion deserve to leave the house. However let it not look like she was sitting peacefully and then she got attacked.


What really here is the problem? At least she admits that they were good prior to the incident, I also do not have a time frame for when he did the things he is supposedly done, did he constantly go out and come back by 12 am everyday? Is that the issue? Has he one time or the other gotten angry and said horrible stuff oh probably when was that?

In my very honest opinion, this issue is not yet enough for her to have packed out just like that. Unless of course deep down she should admit that she is no longer ready for the marriage, at least she should own up to it and not achieve it by painting her hubby as the only one who does not want it.


Anyways, what do I know.....

This guy sef, its like u are drinking alomo bitter in an empty stomoach.

Chrisbenogor:
Normally I would let things like this slide but this is totally wrong. Is that girl power just mush mushes the way ladies think or what?

Technically she took the kids out of the house without his consent. She walked away from the house.



Any charge and bail lawyer can bring this case to an end before it even starts. SMH

Its with his consent o.

When MIL called him to say that she came in and saw me taking my things and the kids, he asked her to let me go. What does that mean to u??

Severally, he had told me that if I want to leave, that I can leave with or without the kids. So I took the option of leaving with them.

Glitterdust:

Its with his consent o.

When MIL called him to say that she came in and saw me taking my things and the kids, he asked her to let me go. What does that mean to u??

Severally, he had told me that if I want to leave, that I can leave with or without the kids. So I took the option of leaving with them.

Alright then if you say so.

Good, he has made it easy for you. Now dust up and look for a job to fend for your kids if you aren't working yet.
May the road ahead be smooth.

Glitterdust:

Its with his consent o.

When MIL called him to say that she came in and saw me taking my things and the kids, he asked her to let me go. What does that mean to u??

Severally, he had told me that if I want to leave, that I can leave with or without the kids. So I took the option of leaving with them.

@ op
I will advise u to let him no dat ur pregnant at once lest he should say u left his house and was sleeping around n someone got u pregnant.nice decision to move from mil house and decision to keep d pregnancy.God see u tru

babymama3:

My dear you did too much ,next time don't do all that servant and slave sumtin
Women think they win a loving place in a man's heart by becoming lower than dirt


Hear this from a veteran who has been in this marriage business a while


Men love and respect a woman who loves and respects them and is also strong woman who can hold their own
The biggest mistake you made was agreeing to be a housewife
Don't ever allow yourself to be controlled financially ever again
There is a level of respect you gain by having some independence
No matter how much a man provides,you must bring something to the table to be respected
The same man will turn around and call you a liability when the thing go shele ,don't put yourself in that position
Men by nature are controlling
It takes the wisdom of a woman to set limits to his control
You have to subtly lay down the rules of what you will put up with and what you will not
If a man decides to come in at midnight ,he certainly won't be getting dinner from me and if I were to massage his feet,it will be with razor blade
You could be doing these things and always trying yo please because you think by not working,you are somewhat diminished so you need to "love more"
That is not love, love doesn't hurt
If you had a job,at the end of the day,the last thing on your mind is massaging any feet
Did he ever massage yours?
Let that be the last feet you ever massaged Nne,you have massaged enough


[b]Just before my wedding,I would sit Up and talk with my mom well into the night and she would tell me words of wisdom night after night
One of the things she said is " my daughter, you go into marriage because you love but you stay in it and enjoy it with 100% wisdom and commonsense" and that is so true.Marriage needs a whole load of commonsense .
Another word my mother said was " my daughter,anything you know will be going out yourself to do and anything you know will cause problems when you stop doing it,don't ever start it" then she told me a story of how she used to wash and iron my father's clothes till the babies started coming and she was Still working full time and washing and ironing his clothes and finally had to tell Him to wash his own clothes and the man sparked, a major argument ensued but she stuck to her guns.
I learned a lot from that.
Don't take on more than you can handle from the get go
Love and also apply a whole load of sense and use style to teach the man to do things for himself and not to disrespect you.
[/b]
He may kick against it at first,they all do but eventually he will go along with it,I am speaking from experience here
You need to train your man to respect you.

Nice points there....

My question is, how does your husband cope with your roll of FAT? Is he FAT as well?

if he is- Then I have another question, how do you guys, both FAT and most likely ugly have sex? Does he cover your face with a pillow? To avoid the smell from your fat body and obvious mouth odor..

The most important question is, do you guys do a big stomach greeting like sumo wrestlers to amuse your kids?

I await your response my dear Igbo sister

Anambra Adigo Mma