Help Me What Shud I Do My Husband Does Not Want Us To Stay Together.. - Family - Nairaland
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| Help Me What Shud I Do My Husband Does Not Want Us To Stay Together.. by beabea5: 6:54am On Jul 22, 2014 |
Good Morning people,i need matured Advice please,Myself and my hubby have been having issues for months now which also has escalated with the family interference.But even as at interference families were unable to settle it for us,but as God will have we got talking recently(thougj) we havent for a while now,and he told me pointblank we cant stay together under the same roof because we normalli have misunderstandin and he would try and raise litu cash for a small apartment somewhere in anoda state where he will be coming for the weekend,presently due to d fact that his mum neva liked me,and she (mum) is not wiv any man parked in into my matrimonial home since we quarrel and i learnt from neighbours how my husband have been bringing home diff ladies even to meet his mum in that house...i have a Son for this Man already because this in my view is a legal separation,Though Myself too have been acting somehow even at the presence of the mother in law because of the way she has been treating me immediately i got married and bore them a son,she is acting as though am not as imprtmt as i see myself at home if not for the pregnancy she wouldnt have allow his son to marry me,Her behaviour too also added to the whole issues,Now if i decide to stay without him wiv my son in another state,will he marry a second wife and only visit me his legal wife on weekends?will his mum be staying there wiv him and d second wife ubder the same roof?My guess is that he cant always make it every weekend even though his salary is low with such an expenses(less than 100000)..Am beginning to see my self as a single mother already and am just 23 years Old...Please Nairanlanders Advice me please,MEn are coming to me now since am not wiv him to marry me despite that i have a son and i dont wish to remarry because i so much love my dear husband.Thanks |
| Re: Help Me What Shud I Do My Husband Does Not Want Us To Stay Together.. by pfijacobs(m): 7:05am On Jul 22, 2014 |
Chisos!!! Abasi sineye!!! 23 year old gurl with a child for dis guy.. Dat means u either passed bakyard (belle before marriage) or u we're married @20... Either ways I fink maybe o (b4 all d gurls start quoting me) dat u we're not psychologically matured enof to handle marriage... Hence d mama dey se u as small pikin... All tho I don't blame u jare life is for d living... Now bak to topic *everytin becomes better with a lot of prayers and serious sessions of HOT SEX* Trust me... I'm a guy. |
| Re: Help Me What Shud I Do My Husband Does Not Want Us To Stay Together.. by Nobody: 7:06am On Jul 22, 2014 |
Madam, he kicked you out for his mother, YOU ARE SINGLE. Women stop being so desperate to marry haba. Get a job, a skill or business and move on, you cant control his choices and he has made it, Not to stay in the SAME TOWN or HOUSE with you, pick up yourself and move on. Besides you lost it the day you made your marriage a competition between you and his mother, it shouldnt have started if both husband and wife understood what marriage meant. Sorry abeg, if you want to give your self blood pressure about what he would or woildnt do, enjoy ya self, but I would advice that you rebuild your life and esteem and take care of your child because YOU ARE SINGLE 2 Likes |
| Re: Help Me What Shud I Do My Husband Does Not Want Us To Stay Together.. by mzjaney(f): 7:12am On Jul 22, 2014 |
Does ur husband really love u?  am sure he doesn't becos if he does he won't even want u out of his sight. Now he wants to get an apartment for u in anoda state not even in d same state, and he has his mum in his house. Swts I think u should start considering ursef as a single mum. At 23 u're still very young to be going tru all dis in ur marriage. Am pretty sure ur hubby is losing interest in u already dat is y he is trying to distant himsef from u. Al the"I will visit u on weekends" are lies dear cos he won't . Just get something to do and focus on how to take care of ur baby. Allow him do what ever he wants maybe he's getting advice from his mother. He's gonna come bk to his senses always put him in ur prayers.1 Like |
| Re: Help Me What Shud I Do My Husband Does Not Want Us To Stay Together.. by pfijacobs(m): 7:12am On Jul 22, 2014 |
aisha2: Madam, he kicked you out for his mother, YOU ARE SINGLE. Haba... A man's actions are often influenced by a lot of factors and only a strong woman can stand by her man irrespective of hardships and turbulence... Dis is marriage not a fling... MARRIAGE is for better and for worst... Strong women pray...it myt be her fault, it myt not be... But d responsibility of sustaining d marriage is hers... @op pray jare... D heart of a king is in d hand of d lord... |
| Re: Help Me What Shud I Do My Husband Does Not Want Us To Stay Together.. by Nobody: 7:17am On Jul 22, 2014 |
pfijacobs: A man whose decisions on his immediatefamily is determined by his mother is not a MAN and it is an insult to MEN to call this one a man. It is not her duty or anyones to make him grow a pair, its his adult decision, stop blackmailing women into endless slavery and heartbreak. This is not a marriage, Go and study what marriage truly is in the same bible you quote before coming to emotionally blackmail her. Wetin be my own self? Na this kain advice the poster dey find. This is what is wrong these days people make their arrangements call it marriage and spoil this beautiful union for the rest 8 Likes |
| Re: Help Me What Shud I Do My Husband Does Not Want Us To Stay Together.. by pfijacobs(m): 7:24am On Jul 22, 2014 |
aisha2:hi dear... I'm not excusing d guy's fault here... He should protect d woman and provide for her loving her wit all his heart... He's faltered but... Dat shouldn't make her single... Dnt be moved dear.. Life is spiritual.. Pray... Dnt be pushed into giving up on ur man... I've seen worse situations dat come up stronger...and d marriage becomes better Think of d psycological implications a seperation will have on ur baby... Most ladies will give u d DIVA advice but in reality nobody wants to be a single mum.. Moreso @23... Please do ur part, be virtous and pray... God will not forsake you 1 Like |
| Re: Help Me What Shud I Do My Husband Does Not Want Us To Stay Together.. by Nobody: 7:33am On Jul 22, 2014 |
pfijacobs: hi dear... I'm not excusing d guy's fault here... He should protect d woman and provide for her loving her wit all his heart... He's faltered but... Dat shouldn't make her single... Dnt be moved dear.. Life is spiritual.. Pray... Dnt be pushed into giving up on ur man... I've seen worse situations dat come up stronger...and d marriage becomes better Think of d psycological implications a seperation will have on ur baby... Most ladies will give u d DIVA advice but in reality nobody wants to be a single mum.. Moreso @23... Please do ur part, be virtous and pray... God will not forsake you The sky is big enough for all birds to fly, give your advice and let me give mine, in the end the poster will decide what she wants. I have said mine, this is not a marriage and the poster is single |
| Re: Help Me What Shud I Do My Husband Does Not Want Us To Stay Together.. by Tallesty1(m): 8:16am On Jul 22, 2014 |
pfijacobs: hi dear... I'm not excusing d guy's fault here... He should protect d woman and provide for her loving her wit all his heart... He's faltered but... Dat shouldn't make her single... Dnt be moved dear.. Life is spiritual.. Pray... Dnt be pushed into giving up on ur man... I've seen worse situations dat come up stronger...and d marriage becomes better Think of d psycological implications a seperation will have on ur baby... Most ladies will give u d DIVA advice but in reality nobody wants to be a single mum.. Moreso @23... Please do ur part, be virtous and pray... God will not forsake youBros what are you saying  ? If anyone needs a different apartment then it is his mom not his wife. Jesus Christ in heaven! How can a man say he cannot live under same roof with his wife? A 23 yr old girl that he can configure the way he wants? Just like aisha2 said, SHE IS SINGLE and the man is disgrace to all men because at his age he is still under mummies thumb and doesn't support the wife. He fell in love with the IDEA of his mother in another woman and was disapointed when he realised that all women are not thesame. Bosh this is annoying.1 Like |
| Re: Help Me What Shud I Do My Husband Does Not Want Us To Stay Together.. by egopersonified(f): 11:01am On Jul 22, 2014 |
aisha2: Madam, he kicked you out for his mother, YOU ARE SINGLE. thank you jare, where have you been? op, shey you hear? and all those guys coming for you, tell them to give you time, dont go jumping into another marriage, make something of your own life apart from the Mrs. symbol. *****wait ohh, u can actually be married twice at 23??!! later they will say there are no husbands, abegi. 2 Likes |
| Re: Help Me What Shud I Do My Husband Does Not Want Us To Stay Together.. by Nobody: 12:12pm On Jul 22, 2014 |
aisha2: Madam, he kicked you out for his mother, YOU ARE SINGLE. GBAM!!! Endorsed!!! Got nothing to add 1 Like |
| Re: Help Me What Shud I Do My Husband Does Not Want Us To Stay Together.. by Nobody: 12:16pm On Jul 22, 2014 |
egopersonified: Dnt mind them with their scare tactics on women. husband scarce, this and that. Look at this Op, she is barely out of her hubby's house and YET men are still coming for her inspite of she having a child. Women should never limit themselves for any reason!! They should never give in to all these stupid scare tactics. The Op is Single. She needs to give herself time though to heal emotionally and psychologically before dating again. Husband clearly doesnt want her. Why should she force herself? She has to focus on her life and start afresh. Thats life. 2 Likes |
| Re: Help Me What Shud I Do My Husband Does Not Want Us To Stay Together.. by thorpido(m): 4:56pm On Jul 22, 2014 |
You obviously didn't marry properly.What you have is not a marriage. It doesn't look like it's something that can be salvaged too cos your husband's heart is not in it.He's already bringing in other women. You need to pick up yourself.Get a job and build your self-esteem. Don't get carried away with the men coming.Many are just coming to chop with the line that they will marry you.Of course you can get another husband at your age but many guys will say,'I don't mind with your child'.Very few are willing to take that responsibility. 3 Likes |
| Re: Help Me What Shud I Do My Husband Does Not Want Us To Stay Together.. by baby124: 5:15pm On Jul 22, 2014 |
Na wa o. End time marriages. |
| Re: Help Me What Shud I Do My Husband Does Not Want Us To Stay Together.. by beeevan: 5:59pm On Jul 22, 2014 |
I did be making a choice from my array of suitors or just living my life if I were you# youaresingle#  . |
| Re: Help Me What Shud I Do My Husband Does Not Want Us To Stay Together.. by ahnie: 6:52pm On Jul 22, 2014 |
this matter pass my power....Malama Aisha has said it all. 1 Like |
| Re: Help Me What Shud I Do My Husband Does Not Want Us To Stay Together.. by Nobody: 7:12pm On Jul 22, 2014 |
Madam,if you see another man,make you marry. Since your hubby has decided to marry his mother,I advise you to move on with your life. Marriage is not a do or die affair. If one door closes,many will be opened for you. 2 Likes |
| Re: Help Me What Shud I Do My Husband Does Not Want Us To Stay Together.. by sloo1: 9:07pm On Jul 22, 2014 |
Does he abuse you - yes/no Is he cheating on you - yes/no I know he abuses you mentally etc, from your story, if he also cheats on you leave him and remarry. My daughter your just 23 and men are asking for your hand in marriage. What are u waiting for? But look before you leap. He impregnated you before your marriage, perhaps that was why he married you. |
| Re: Help Me What Shud I Do My Husband Does Not Want Us To Stay Together.. by sapiosexual(f): 11:34pm On Jul 22, 2014 |
beabea5: Good Morning people,i need matured Advice please,Myself and my hubby have been having issues for months now which also has escalated with the family interference.But even as at interference families were unable to settle it for us,but as God will have we got talking recently(thougj) we havent for a while now,and he told me pointblank we cant stay together under the same roof because we normalli have misunderstandin and he would try and raise litu cash for a small apartment somewhere in anoda state where he will be coming for the weekend,presently due to d fact that his mum neva liked me,and she (mum) is not wiv any man parked in into my matrimonial home since we quarrel and i learnt from neighbours how my husband have been bringing home diff ladies even to meet his mum in that house...i have a Son for this Man already because this in my view is a legal separation,Though Myself too have been acting somehow even at the presence of the mother in law because of the way she has been treating me immediately i got married and bore them a son,she is acting as though am not as imprtmt as i see myself at home if not for the pregnancy she wouldnt have allow his son to marry me,Her behaviour too also added to the whole issues,Now if i decide to stay without him wiv my son in another state,will he marry a second wife and only visit me his legal wife on weekends?will his mum be staying there wiv him and d second wife ubder the same roof?My guess is that he cant always make it every weekend even though his salary is low with such an expenses(less than 100000)..Am beginning to see my self as a single mother already and am just 23 years Old...Please Nairanlanders Advice me please,MEn are coming to me now since am not wiv him to marry me despite that i have a son and i dont wish to remarry because i so much love my dear husband.Thanks Condoms are cheap, diapers are expensive. You've laid your bed. You are on your own. |
| Re: Help Me What Shud I Do My Husband Does Not Want Us To Stay Together.. by baby124: 11:41pm On Jul 22, 2014 |
I suspect this guy is also very young. That will explain a lot of things. OP, calm down and get someone to talk to him. Like his mentor at work or the most senior male in his father's family if his father is not alive. It does not look like he has a good male role model in his life. These are the danger's sometimes of marrying men who do not have a strong male in their lives. We women can hold on to our kids like out life depends on it. Even if they are 50yrs old. This is where a male role model comes in to balance things out and intervene. Even if they settle you two you have to accept the fact that the mother will always be there. So you will have to swallow a lot of things and endure a lot if you stay. Be honest with yourself, if he is a good guy and you know it, work on your marriage. Both of you were probably engaging in unprotected sex when you both were not ready for any responsibility. Before you both come back together, please go for comprehensive blood tests 2 Likes |
| Re: Help Me What Shud I Do My Husband Does Not Want Us To Stay Together.. by cococandy(f): 11:50pm On Jul 22, 2014 |
The responsibility to sustain the marriage is hers? Even when the guy isn't ready to work on their marriage huh? She should keep scraping and begging and humiliating herself to make the marriage work? Endure his bringing other women into their home and move out for him to fully enjoy his sleeping around hobby and yet it is her responsibility to make it work? pfijacobs: 3 Likes
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| Re: Help Me What Shud I Do My Husband Does Not Want Us To Stay Together.. by lilmax(m): 11:53pm On Jul 22, 2014 |
I dont believe this story 1 Like |
| Re: Help Me What Shud I Do My Husband Does Not Want Us To Stay Together.. by Kanwulia: 12:10am On Jul 23, 2014 |
Another one don come o. Men are coming. . . TO PHOCK AND GO. . .  And they will keep PHOCKING and going!!!!  The man has made himself clear. YOU AND HIS CHILD ARE NOT HIS BUSINESS OR PRIORITY AT THE MOMENT!!! What else do you need to know BUT TO LEARN TO KEEP YOUR NYANSH CLOSED? Abeg nor piss me off o!  Na "men" be ya problem now? When you nefa comot from the UZEBA wey you carry for back like ONE hunch-back of EKIADOLOR? At your age, Shawn George of NOLLYWOOD don born 2 HEFTY men waka. Clarion Chukwura don carry BELLE for Shina Peters wey RUN leave am with the BELLE. . . . .GO TRAIN BY HER DAMN SELF! See CLARENCE PETERS now, the so-called BASTARD CHILD? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXZGPoa3GDY https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJ5SlSQvmsk Nor be your mate be MERCY JOHNSON-OKOJIE aka MAMA PURITY? Na NL advise dem? See Papa Clarence don come claim the pikin wey Clarion don suffer train finish. . . BY HERSELF? You dey hia dey look for advice. . . Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeesh! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zH_XMbVB25w 2 Likes |
| Re: Help Me What Shud I Do My Husband Does Not Want Us To Stay Together.. by Nobody: 12:27am On Jul 23, 2014 |
pfijacobs: I talk am o. Fast and Pray advice. Nairaland never disappoints!! Chai Chai. All these nollywood advice you are sharing. There is God ooooooo. The woman should fast and pray when her husband doesnt want her any longer? she should remain there till the husband points a gun to her head Like Dino did to tokunbo before she knows she is no longer wanted? Odiegwu. 1 Like |
| Re: Help Me What Shud I Do My Husband Does Not Want Us To Stay Together.. by beabea5: 2:35am On Jul 23, 2014 |
Thanks aLl nairalanders,u all have spoken well as if u are [color=#770077][/color]all there,He married me based on the pregnancy but i though things can work between Us,Mind u all it wasnt an arrangement but deliberate action but courted wiv him for 3 years before we decided the marriage but the Only mistake was i never got to know or get close to his family b4 the Union....Thanks everybody the ball is most def in my court. |
| Re: Help Me What Shud I Do My Husband Does Not Want Us To Stay Together.. by Nobody: 12:02pm On Jul 23, 2014 |
beabea5: i learnt from neighbours how my husband have been bringing home diff ladies even to meet his mum in that house... @OP - this was where your problem started.... marriages never remain the same when the husband/wife give their ears to the neighbors/outsiders. |
| Re: Help Me What Shud I Do My Husband Does Not Want Us To Stay Together.. by apolonius(m): 1:04pm On Jul 23, 2014 |
Your husband does not love you. He only wants to keep you for his own reasons. See,never allow anyone to exploit you until you are wrecked and too shattered to find love. He should not be allowed to have his cake and eat it. Tell him that it is clear he doesn't love you and he is determined to ruin the marriage,so you want a divorce so that you can re-marry. It is a matter of the heart,but use your head before you realize what is happening to you when it is too late. 3 Likes |
| Re: Help Me What Shud I Do My Husband Does Not Want Us To Stay Together.. by soulglo: 2:40am On Jul 24, 2014 |
Please do not get pregnant again. Your arrangement does not seem like a marriage? How old is your husband? If you do not have an income you need to start looking at getting something set up. 1 Like |
| Re: Help Me What Shud I Do My Husband Does Not Want Us To Stay Together.. by dahmie2013: 8:17am On Jul 24, 2014 |
aisha2: Na u get sense pass. Op, u're strictly on ur own, if he manages 2 pay 4 d apartment dis year, trust me, u'll pay thru ur nose nxt year. Can't u see he's trying 2 abscond 4rm his responsibilities. Dear, move on! 2 Likes |
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