shegxi:
bidexluv....look no further, someone has obviously taken interest in u #seizethebabe

oga on top...
She be my senior for school...

And so the cycle starts again...

Happy new year fellow introverts

ayokunlei:

scared ke? Dont be o o. sta 200L...

Okay. Nice course btw

Happy new year people

melchol:
hello house, I need your contribution regarding fear and depression. is it that depression vary from one individual to another or not.

yes, it varies from one Person to another.

do other introverts too feel negative about somethings/ things generally, I mean that state of mind when one keeps interpreting almost everything negative,

it's too much self consciousness.

or am I d only one feeeling like that? [quote]
no, you aren't.

[quote]
or Is depression really a spirit ?
Please help a fellow... Thanks as you contribute.

no, it isn't. It's a habit; take a look at my signature.

You see, when you Practise something for a long time, your brain registers it as a default activity: it becomes a habit. This registered activity goes into your subconscious. The subconscious is the Part of your brain which you have no control over -- in other words, the subconscious controls itself.
Fear and dePression are often controlled by the subconscious mind (you know you don't want to get scared or feel down, but you just can't helP it). It haPPens sPontaneously.

As an introvert, falling into dePression, if care is not taken, is as easy as devouring rice and chicken during this Period. Unaware introverts usually fall victims to it (dePression).
To tackle it, you have to know what caused it and how it began..
Then, you have to know what and what triggers it, now.. Being conscious of the causes/triggers will counter the action of the subconscious. Although your subconscious mind will Persist to catch you unawares, with a little Practise you will subdue it. Then, you should always motivate yourself immediately (quotes are very good quick motivators).
Having known what causes the dePression and fear, you should work towards solving it, because it might be something bad, which you're ashamed of, and so you worry too much about it. So, KeeP motivating yourself while you're at it, and before you know it, you'll be over it.

A haPPy new year to you.

Bidexluv:
Happy new year people

Happy New Year Too !

Geofavor:
yes, it varies from one Person to another.


it's too much self consciousness.

hmnnn.... I really appreciate your words, thanks a bunch, no doubt you have really touched my spirit. Happy new year bro!

Geofavor, happy new year Bro. Pls, hi me on whatsapp, my list was washed ... Thanks.

melchol:
hello house, I need your contribution regarding fear and depression. is it that depression vary from one individual to another or not. do other introverts too feel negative about somethings/ things generally, I mean that state of mind when one keeps interpreting almost everything negative, or am I d only one feeeling like that? or Is depression really a spirit ?
Please help a fellow... Thanks as you contribute. Greatgod2012, Amazingangel,Olanrewajub, geofavor and others...

Depression and fear accompany the melancholy and choleric like your moniker said, but you can live above it when you know what get you depressed and the source of your fear, when they are identified, the problem becomes half solved, you can also read books on it, and if you're a christian pray for the infilling of the Holy Spirit, He works wonders.
I'll hand over to my bosess : Greatgod2012, Amazingangel,Olanrewajub, geofavor .
Other introvert Also feel negative when they don't fit into the society,sometimes procrastinating things makes you have a bad thought or when whenever you're not satisfied with the outcome of what you did, whereas the fault is from the inside not outside.
Depression is also a thing of the spirit, it comes after bitterness of heart or non acceptance of oneself. Depression also vary from person to person.

whitecloth:

Depression and fear accompany the melancholy and choleric like your moniker said, but you can live above it when you know what get you depressed and the source of your fear, when they are identified, the problem becomes half solved, you can also read books on it, and if you're a christian pray for the infilling of the Holy Spirit, He works wonders.
I'll hand over to my bosess : Greatgod2012, Amazingangel,Olanrewajub, geofavor .
Other introvert Also feel negative when they don't fit into the society,sometimes procrastinating things makes you have a bad thought or when whenever you're not satisfied with the outcome of what you did, whereas the fault is from the inside not outside.
Depression is also a thing of the spirit, it comes after bitterness of heart or non acceptance of oneself. Depression also vary from person to person.

thanks alot Boss, I appreciate ur advice alot.

hmmmm.... Am being mentioned here

Bidexluv:
Yes. You are right
Do it know you pls?? :-)

melchol:

hmnnn.... I really appreciate your words, thanks a bunch, no doubt you have really touched my spirit. Happy new year bro!

you're welcome. We all have just one life each to live, so, we should strive to make the most of it.

ayokunlei:

Geofavo.r, happy new year Bro.
Pls, hi me on whatsapp, my list was washed ... Thanks.

a haPPy and ProsPerous new year to you too, my oga. Uhm, I'm kinda currently not on whatsaPP; my Phone develoPed a fault, however, you can reach me through this email address: verysmartPolymath@gmail.com.

Olarewajub:
Are you an introvert? If yes, this is definitely the place to be.
What are the challenges you encounter being an introvert and are you happy about your introversion?
P.S=> Extrovert- Keep Off.

Hey can you guys help me out cos I dnt know where I fall into intro or extrovert. Am not d shy type I can address pple in public,but I enjoy being alone some times and also love being with pple .I hate going out I have few friends but when I go out I make d best of it cos I can start a conversation and sustain it if I want to.Am nt d quite type but I can be all by myself so am confused

Geofavor:
a haPPy and ProsPerous new year to you too, my oga. Uhm, I'm kinda currently not on whatsaPP; my Phone develoPed a fault, however, you can reach me through this email address: verysmartPolymath@gmail.com.

okay Bro

That is the problem! I know not you guys but you people keep mentioning my name! Look at the poster's name well, its Bidexluv not Bidex.
Thank you
.....

Bidexluv:

Yes. You are right

Do it know you pls?? :-)

bidex:
That is the problem! I know not you guys but you people keep mentioning my name! Look at the poster's name well, its Bidexluv not Bidex.
Thank you
.....

Sorry about that namesake

Greatness366:
Hey can you guys help me out cos I dnt know where I fall into intro or extrovert. Am not d shy type I can address pple in public,but I enjoy being alone some times and also love being with pple .I hate going out I have few friends but when I go out I make d best of it cos I can start a conversation and sustain it if I want to.Am nt d quite type but I can be all by myself so am confused

which do you enjoy more: being all by yourself or being with people?

Geofavor:

which do you enjoy more: being all by yourself or being with people?

Hmmmmm both seriously.

Greatness366:
Hmmmmm both seriously.

well, to me, you seem like an introvert who's got the hang of it.

Bidex Bidex Bidex !!!
Looking for trouble

Mehn, network has really dealt with me


@Shegxi,introvert/introvert r/ship is really working out for me


Can relate with fabulous' post, apart from d stage fright stuff, u really gave an account of me, my bestie can make friends so so easily........ Even when I'm around others I hardly contribute to conversations rather I smile when funny comments are made and they'll be like, I should talk cos I'm not dumb

DEllaluv:
Mehn, network has really dealt with me


@Shegxi,introvert/introvert r/ship is really working out for me

goodluck to u den ella, happy it is working for u......and happy new year by the way.

Fabulousb36:
Hello ppl, I came across dis lounge n I'm willing to share. Being an introvert its not something I'm happy about. first, I can't make frnds or keep the ones dat come around me. ppl judge d outside me a lot, they say I'm a snub, rude n dat I feel dat I'm better Dan odas just coz I keep to myself a lot. I envy my extrovert

bestie often coz of d way she make n keep frnds... ppl luv her. most of my frnds, I got from her. Second, d stage fright part is anoda wahala. I have successfully messed up all my part seminars in sch and now I have my project to defend, I pray dat goes well. Finally, most of u sound very comfortable wit urself but I'm not, I really don't lik pushing ppl away. I envy extroverts nd I keep asking how dey put up wit so many frnds. I feel lonely sometimes. Even when I hang out with my extrovert frnds, I don't seem to fit in. I try hard to communicate nd den I giv up... Back to snubby. Its good knowing dat dia are ppl out there lik me nd are very comfortable wit themselves. * hopeful*

First and for most, you're welcome to the lounge.
Being an introvert is something you should be proud of because you are extra ordinary. One reason why most introverts are not happy with their personality is that they've not come to terms to know who they really are. I will advice you read journals, books and blog post on introversion and i bet you will appreciate your personality more. I strongly recommend the book "Quiet" by Susan.


Hmmmm. Making friends especially new friends is a difficult task for introverts, so you're are not alone on this.Even though you ain't confident to walk up to a guy or girl and say "Hey dear, i will like us to be friends", just appear to be friendly. Introverts are known to make friends spontaneously, no formal shit. Trust me, you don't need too many friends. What you need is a friend that understands you're personality. It's a pity that everyone is expected to behave like an extroverts in our contemporary society. Pray to get real friends and not just any how friends.

On public speaking, you have a lot of work to speak. That moment when you stand before your lecturers, external examiner, and your fellow colleagues, you but cannot help your shaky voice, palpitation and general anxiousness. This is something we must deal with or it will deal with us. One mistake introverts make about public speaking is that they often deny the fact that one day they will have to speak to a large number of people. With this in mind, you have to start practicing public speaking but in a private way. Try to be confident around your family, and then move to few associates like airing your view in a reading group comprising of a couple number of people. By so doing, you will get comfortable being among those people. Just imaging your class having a total number of 25groups comprising of 3 students each, i guess you now what it means to be confident and comfortable around members of each group. Another important thing that helps, you should try to do no volunteer work like joining the sanitation or ushering department of your fellowship. By so doing, you will gradually gain you confidence. Before making any presentation, ensure that you are overly prepared and be aware that nobody in the crowd wish your downfall. Start practicing public speaking today in which ever way that suits you.
You don't need to envy extroverts, that's the way they where created. Their are traces of extroversion deep inside you that can only be unleash when you are around people you are familiar with and you will be like "na me be this" and you're friends will be like "so you they form since ehnn'. The experience is not going to be funny. People who will only see you as a snup are people who are not not aware of your personality.

Please try and read the book i recommended. The book will help you to understand understand your introversion .


We looooooooooooooooooooooooooooovvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyooooooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuu


Link to download the book http://www.sssch.net/Admin/ckfinder/userfiles/files/xinlizixun/shuji/安静%20英文版%20Quiet_%20The%20Power%20of%20Introverts%20in%20a%20World%20That%20Can't%20Stop%20Talking-Crown%20(2012).pdf

Akposb:
My thoughts on a core characteristic of an introvert is the fact that we watch out for ourselves all too often hence we are quick to analyse our wrongs and thus we end up being our harshest critic. Unfortunately, for those who have not come to familiarity with this ominous feeling tend to withdraw from public events. That is rather unfortunate because introverts are remarkably intelligent and tend to provide useful answers. Hence why we may not be wired to over expression, we should be able to curb our fears and overbearing character trait for us to express ourselves.

Nice one i must commend your write up. Well thought out.
We worry too much of making mistakes.
For one to live a well fulfilled life as an introvert, that fellow has to have a profound understanding of his personality.

melchol:
hello house, I need your contribution regarding fear and depression. is it that depression vary from one individual to another or not. do other introverts too feel negative about somethings/ things generally, I mean that state of mind when one keeps interpreting almost everything negative, or am I d only one feeeling like that? or Is depression really a spirit ?
Please help a fellow... Thanks as you contribute. Greatgod2012, Amazingangel,Olanrewajub, geofavor and others...

Tips for a Depressed Introvert
by ladyfeathertrue
There is probably something terribly ironic about writing about depression while depressed. Maybe not, maybe it just makes sense because it’s just what I’m thinking about right now.

While to trying to find some answers for myself, I read a blog with 21 Tips to Keep Your Shit Together When You’re Depressed. I’ve got a few things to add that I think are probably useful for other introverts. (Not that we’re super special, just that different people need different techniques, and I think for an introvert, having her internal world shrouded in darkness is especially difficult to overcome.) These ideas/thoughts/tips are what get me through the day when I am at my worst.

Prevention. The best way to cope with depression is to never let it get overwhelming. I’ve incorporated certain rituals/routines to act as warning signals so that I can catch the depression before it becomes so all-consuming that it takes tremendous effort to get out of it. This routine is not necessary for life, like eating. I would advise against that. My tactic is simple: I choose to wash and moisturize my face as part of my morning and nightly rituals. I know that I am pretty stable if I can make the choice to expend the energy to wash my face in the morning and before bed. If I skip this part of my routine too many times during the week, then I know it’s time to admit to myself that I am slipping into a downward spiral.

Thought processes. When I’m depressed, I recognize that my mind—normally my favorite place—is now tricking me. Watch how you think while depressed. Are you assuming that you know the feelings of other people, when in fact you aren’t a mind reader? Are you assuming you know the outcome of some event, when in fact you have never been a fortune teller?

These are just a couple examples of how your depressed mind distorts your thinking habits. I first read about them in Feeling Good by Dr. Burns (which is full of mind-altering information). A brief description of more of these distortions can be found here. The book has more information and more topics besides these distortions. I highly recommend it.

Remember that being depressed or having a tendency for depressive episodes does not make you weak or incapable of happiness. These thoughts will only trap you and make getting help and getting better harder. I believe that people living with depression are in fact very strong.

Be kind to yourself. Now is not the time to take up public speaking or something equally terrifying. Don’t overload your schedule. You can help yourself not be overwhelmed by making smart choices and admitting, “Hey, maybe I should wait to do [this terrifying thing that society makes me do] until I feel like myself again.”

Self comfort. We all talk to ourselves (I hope at least), and it can be a source of pain if you talk to yourself with the same words you use when cussing someone who pulled out in front of you on the highway. Even though your mind is shrouded in darkness and everything seems awful, there is no need to be cruel to yourself. That’s not helpful.

Think about it: You are your longest and most intimate relationship. You are the only person who will always be there.

How would you comfort a dear, dear friend? That’s how you should talk to yourself. When I get overwhelmed and put my head on my desk, I think, “It’s okay, love. You’ll be okay. It’ll pass soon, love. Just hold on.” Or if I find myself in the kitchen in the morning and I can’t remember why, I think, “Concentrate, dear. What were you doing?”

Talk sweetly to yourself. You shouldn’t add to your own pain by berating yourself when you are at your most vulnerable.

Do something, celebrate after. When I am depressed and need to find ways to cope, I lose all energy. This is common of course, but it is, to me, the hardest symptom of depression. In college, a beloved professor who also suffered from depression told me to complete one task and celebrate after. The celebrations can be anything from watching an episode of your favorite TV show (that you know you probably shouldn’t be watching because you’re behind on laundry and life because you’re depressed, but it’ll feel so good to watch it, and since you did complete a task of life, you deserve it!). It could be eating a fun size Snickers bar or taking a cat nap with your kitty. Whatever will make you feel better, give you something to look forward to, reinforce good behavior and still get a few tasks accomplished. (This means that the cat nap needs to literally be a cat nap and not in fact a 3-hour sleep.)

Break the monotony. In that same frame of mind, scheduling something to look forward to or treating yourself to something new can help break the monotony of depression and bring a bit of positive feelings (perhaps even an echo of excitement) back. A scheduled appointment could be anything from a checkup with your psychiatrist or therapist to a movie date with your bff. Giving yourself something to count down to will help get you through the day.

In addition, doing something fun or comforting might help. Buy new clothes. Cook something new. Get a pedicure. Buy a new video game. Anything that brings you pleasure and excitement (as long as it won’t defile your bank account and bring more emotional instability).

Recharge. There is also nothing wrong with an occasional lazy day. Introverts need to recharge, and depression takes a lot out of you. Give yourself a day to veg on TV shows that have been in your Netflix queue forever or to reread a book that has been on your mind. Sometimes these days will end up becoming good thinking days for me, and I’ll end up writing or journaling. I think it’s because I haven’t put pressure on myself to accomplish anything so I can just … be.

Be careful though. You don’t want to isolate yourself further or use the day making suicide plans. Turn the lights on. Don’t sit in a dark room; your mind is dark enough without the lights being off too. A lazy day is only helpful if you use it to recharge and not to burrow more deeply into the depression.

Talk. The best thing I’ve trained myself to do when I get depressed is to talk about it. Introverts tend to be so quiet, especially when depressed, and I find that acknowledging and calling out the depression gives it less power over me. The same way Harry Potter always referred to Voldemort by name. Find your person and tell them, “I’m depressed; I feel [this way]. Thanks for listening.” Your words will cut holes in the dark shroud your mind is wrapped in and invite someone who cares to help you shine light through the darkness.

If you can’t talk about it because that’s too hard or there are no words, then just be in a room with someone. Just sit with no agenda, with words or without. You can share the pain. All of humanity shares your pain.

Letting someone else into the picture, even if it is without words, brings you new perspective, a perspective that only another mind can give you.

Power accessory/article of clothing. The article I got this idea from already mentioned dressing nicely, but I’d like to add to that thought. Find your power accessory, that one article of clothing or accessory that makes you feel … powerful. For me, it’s lipstick. I feel like only strong, confident women can have carefully painted, glossed and shimmered lips. But your item could be anything: a pair of shoes, a watch, a piece of jewelry, a blazer,. I imagine this would work for men as well, but I have no data to back that up.

Brand loyalty. One of the worst parts of my depression is my loss of energy and inability to make everyday decisions in a normal amount of time. Introverts tend to make decisions more slowly even not depressed, so adding depression can make life unmanageable. One way I’ve found to help with decision-making is to take away some of the decisions altogether. If you choose a certain brand and stick with it, then you don’t have to stand in front of a shelf of way too many items and get overwhelmed. Do your research first of course before you decide. The effort will probably save you time and energy later.

Listen to music. “Lullaby” by Nickelback has saved my life on more than one occasion. If I’m not listening to podcasts on my long commute to work in the morning, I’m listening to music, and this song has pushed back the frighteningly comforting image of hitting a tree or a power pole head-on a few times.


https://afeatheroftruth./2013/04/15/tips-for-a-depressed-introvert/

Greatness366:
Hey can you guys help me out cos I dnt know where I fall into intro or extrovert. Am not d shy type I can address pple in public,but I enjoy being alone some times and also love being with pple .I hate going out I have few friends but when I go out I make d best of it cos I can start a conversation and sustain it if I want to.Am nt d quite type but I can be all by myself so am confused

I strongly recommend you take this test;
http://psychologytoday.tests.psychtests.com/bin/transfer?req=MTF8MTMxMXw5ODEwNDIzfDF8MQ==&refempt=

http://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test

Being an introvert has its ups and downs and i can authoritatively tell u that its not easy at all. Being he firat son of the family,i am expexted to voice out my opinion in every family meetings cos dad thinks i am his second in command and since the beginning of those meetings till now,i have never made any contribution. To my social life,i dont keep friends at all and when i am among my extroverts friends,i dont talk,i just look and smile... I am extremely shy and nice and most people do take me for granted... I cannot look anyone in the eye and talk, i am that shy.. I am in my early twenties and i have never had more than 2 gfs and i met the two online and both were long distance relationships,i prefer texting to calling cos if i should call,i will def run out of what to say and if you call me i will be be staring at my phone screen expecting to text cos i wont pick the call ... People think i am rude and proud because if something should happen to someone i know i just dont seem to find the right words to address the situation,i.e when my uncle had an accident with his car i didnt call him all because i didint know what to say... I prefer staying in my room and watching movies in my room to going for lectures cos while going for lectures i always have this weird feeling that everyone is looking at me,as a masscomm student i dont have any friend in a class of almost 200 students,i rarely answer questions in class cos i have stage fright,if we are told to open to a bible passage in church,if i am the first person to open the bible passage i will prefer not to read it,i am always observant of any environment i find myself and i yend to be lazy and last but not the least,i rarely get angry,say the worst things in this world to me ,i wont react or talk back,call me names to my face and i will just be smiling

@ Opistorincos I can imagine ur situation. As an introvert I have been faced with such situations too. During loud discusions with coursemates while in school, I find it add to contribute. I just smile or laugh as the case may be.

My advise to you is to develop some self confidence. Especially in church reading of bible. Stand up read the passages it will build your confidence level.

If you dont speak for yourself nobody else will speak for you. so try to make some contributions during meetings. Dont bother yourself whether it is "meaningful" or not.

I am glad I gradually overcoming stage fright. I have few friends too. But I noticed that I can be "extroverted" while with some them.

TeamIntroverts TeamShyGuys

Hello guys... .I need help
Sometime ago, I decided to become more sociable cos I noticed I was "invisible"
But I realized that the Farther I go, the more unstable I become

Please help

Thank God I found this thread, tho I came late.