This one na serious issue oo, some relatives are very close to you in such a way that their pains becomes your pain immediately cause you can feel it....

Ademat7: My extended family is a body that possess all this characteristics just name it,what have I not seen or heard that they did with my father? a lot. One that has his land beside my popsy house decide to use all his land to build house with step for his 2storey building but no road to pass;my father hv to gv him about 2feet to gv road that they can pass to get to d stairs,he did it because we r relatives.

When you say relatives are your immediate siblings included? Like your brothers and sisters.

I'll make myself and example i'm actually the last child and we're four we lost both parents in two consecutive years when our first born was like 22 or 23 you can imagine how young i was then, so we stayed together through thick and thin and now both my brothers are not doing bad i'm an undergraduate myself, if not for my siblings especially our first amd second who took the role of mother and father respectively i would have been screwed by now thank God for them, so would you now say if i'm made tomorrow and these people need my help i should give excuses because i don't have enough? I love them so much that when any of my siblings is not doing well or having any challenges i feel it immediately, abeg i'll do, pay and give anything to see these people happy because they've been there all my Life.

this reminds me of my father.
my father can sell his clothes and belongings to help people.

he even helps people at the detriment of his family sometimes. be believes we should understand than the needy.

he has done weddings for people.
he has beeb paying school fees.
setting up biz for people
even paying house rents

a whole lot.......

well, I wanna thank God cos God has been helping him so far. he lacks nothing.

but when trouble came, nobody even called let alone of someone coming to abuja to know what the problem was.

at a point, people were giving us money to survive....people from church, at work, and some friends.........nobody from the family.

na dem I know sey i gat no family to run to when the chips are down.

if you are sugar, people will surely lick you finish.

to ur tent oh ye isreal..

angela98: Thank you vikel2104. Very very good points. Let me start by sharing an awful dilemma that my colleague in UK is facing.
She and her hubby has a good job they own a house have two kids. They never neglected family back home, they are always very supportive. She built her mum a house, sponsored her siblings through school, set up businesses for them. the husband has only two brothers no parent, he brought them to study in UK on a student visa. Her mum came visiting in UK after her return to Nigeria, she suddenly became greedy. She went as far as using voodoo to start demanding and collecting money from the daughter without empathy.
I witnessed one occasion, on that day she called and asked her daughter to send her £5000 to acquire a chieftaincy title. This lady didn't have that money but went to borrow from the bank and send to her mother. The financial demand didn't stop both from her married brothers and sisters until she ran into debt.
UK economy crushed, lots of folks lost their jobs or have their working hours reduced . she lost her job, could no longer keep up with her debt and mortgage. Her husband developed cancer was hospitalised, earlier this year her hubby passed on. To cut story short, she ran to her family for comfort during the distressing time, they shunned her. Because she couldn't afford to pay for her nephews tuition fee. Her mum called her stingy and selfish for the first time. Anyway, the bank took possession of her house and she resorted to renting again. No savings no job, ended up in bad credit record. Now she is trying to pick up her life. See what family did to her. They wrecked her dry. She has spent 28years in UK.

Don't you think we give the devil & voodoo too much credit for our own failures and INDISCIPLINE

Thanks for sharing this

This issue is currently raising my blood pressure, relatives have this exaggerated opinion of your finances, by the time they table all their demands you will wonder if your annual income can take care of half of it. Some will even be demanding luxuries that you cannot even afford for yourselves and they will be doing so with all justifications in the world. The solution, i relocated to a far away place, with good security and blocked many of their phone numbers, i have a lot of responsibilities to my son which i dont intend to shirk, my parents did not fail me i wont fail my child to please any relative.

This is a good one @op. some men should learn to include their wives at making such financial decision.
A friend of mine was lamenting seriously yesterday that whenever her husband wants to give money to his steps, (he is the only child of his mom) as soon as he see her coming he will change the topic or tell them to meet him in the office thereby portraying her as a bad person.

If i have relatives that keep on asking me for financial support wat I will just do is teach them how to start a business without cash, So that they will leave me alone

anonimi:

Don't you think we give the devil & voodoo too much credit for our own failures and INDISCIPLINE

its not about failure o..before her mother visited she ain't like that. Things changed after her mother visited. How I start suspecting that its a voodoo thing was when friends contributed money for her after the death of her husband, to rent a house to avoid ending up a hostel. Her mum called her and she just send all d money to her...she already send the money before she could realise what she had done.

my best friend's mother-in-law makes $72 /hour on the internet . She has been laid off for six months but last month her payment was $21211 just working on the internet for a few hours. try this web-site..................... WWW.WORKTIN.COM

simplynola:

Thats why i disagreed with the op when i read the post. I only believe in being blunt. Say it out without fear and remain free. Sorry i dont have, av got a lot of projects on my hand simple, no need for any empathy or sympathy. With time they get the picture and draw the line. Give once in a while when they never asked. If the situation is critical and you are flexible to help, go ahead but don't prove to be a Dangote cuz they will turn you to oldenburger cow and suck u dry.

thank you my friend. You have a good point

angela98: its not about failure o..before her mother visited she ain't like that. Things changed after her mother visited. How I start suspecting that its a voodoo thing was when friends contributed money for her after the death of her husband, to rent a house to avoid ending up a hostel. Her mum called her and she just send all d money to her...she already send the money before she could realise what she had done.

Please note & reflect:

Matthew 5: 3a

Blessed are the poor in spirit:

From: http://www.christnotes.org/bible.php?q=matthew+5%3A3&ver=kjv

When a person is MORE religious than RATIONAL, the person opens himsef/herself up to various influences that essentially reflect a state of being poor (as opposed to being strong & resolute) in spirit. My own interpretation that has worked very well for me so far against ALL forms of religious influence against rational decision making.
QED!
I hope you understand my point.....

Amuga: This is a good one @op. some men should learn to include their wives at making such financial decision.
A friend of mine was lamenting seriously yesterday that whenever her husband wants to give money to his steps, (he is the only child of his mom) as soon as he see her coming he will change the topic or tell them to meet him in the office thereby portraying her as a bad person.

That husband nor be better person abeg!

anonimi:

Please note & reflect:



When a person is MORE religious than RATIONAL, the person opens himsef/herself up to various influences that essentially reflect a state of being poor (as opposed to being strong & resolute) in spirit. My own interpretation that has worked very well for me so far against ALL forms of religious influence against rational decision making.
QED!
I hope you understand my point.....

hmm u have a point

anonimi:

That husband nor be better person abeg!

I tell you

angela98: Thank you vikel2104. Very very good points. Let me start by sharing an awful dilemma that my colleague in UK is facing.
She and her hubby has a good job they own a house have two kids. They never neglected family back home, they are always very supportive. She built her mum a house, sponsored her siblings through school, set up businesses for them. the husband has only two brothers no parent, he brought them to study in UK on a student visa. Her mum came visiting in UK after her return to Nigeria, she suddenly became greedy. She went as far as using voodoo to start demanding and collecting money from the daughter without empathy.
I witnessed one occasion, on that day she called and asked her daughter to send her £5000 to acquire a chieftaincy title. This lady didn't have that money but went to borrow from the bank and send to her mother. The financial demand didn't stop both from her married brothers and sisters until she ran into debt.
UK economy crushed, lots of folks lost their jobs or have their working hours reduced . she lost her job, could no longer keep up with her debt and mortgage. Her husband developed cancer was hospitalised, earlier this year her hubby passed on. To cut story short, she ran to her family for comfort during the distressing time, they shunned her. Because she couldn't afford to pay for her nephews tuition fee. Her mum called her stingy and selfish for the first time. Anyway, the bank took possession of her house and she resorted to renting again. No savings no job, ended up in bad credit record. Now she is trying to pick up her life. See what family did to her. They wrecked her dry. She has spent 28years in UK.

Some part of this ur story na fiction abeg. Using Voodoo to collect money from her, that is satanic lie from the pit of hell in UK. Mtcheew.

komek:

Some part of this ur story na fiction abeg. Using Voodoo to collect money from her, that is satanic lie from the pit of hell in UK. Mtcheew.

it might seem so. But that was how I felt when she went to borrow £5000 to send to her mum for chieftaincy title. That money its alot to go to waste in acquiring a meaningless title. I still believe there is a manipulating force somewhere.

I hope all my cousins, uncles and Aunties are reading dis cos i wont spend a dime on dem. NEVER! Afterall none helped me during my university days

AKMoney1: This one na serious issue oo, some relatives are very close to you in such a way that their pains becomes your pain immediately cause you can feel it....

i pity u

tumababa:

i pity u

Boss how far? You remember me?

You guys have made very good points and dat is how it is but I have personally resolved to make my relations to enjoy my money once I have it, otherwise what is the essence when I see my smiles in their faces. (But I decide to give, you don't impose it or play Fast guy or tricks on me, although they can't do dat because I have already set that standard)

angela98: it might seem so. But that was how I felt when she went to borrow £5000 to send to her mum for chieftaincy title. That money its alot to go to waste in acquiring a meaningless title. I still believe there is a manipulating force somewhere.

The bolded part is the key, not voodoo or juju. Some relatives can be extremely manipulative and some parents play up the respect aspect to much even going to the lengths of cursing you and your own children.

angela98: it might seem so. But that was how I felt when she went to borrow £5000 to send to her mum for chieftaincy title. That money its alot to go to waste in acquiring a meaningless title. I still believe there is a manipulating force somewhere.

Aunty, nobody is manipulating or using Voodoo on anybody here. Some pple are like that. They want there wards to compete with other pple. Like making sure they live well at there own detriment. They will go all out to make sure there family members don't lack anything either because they are soft hearted or because they are doing it to compete with so folks or doing it to get so sort of praises. As soon as ur family members discovers this kinda person, u will become their milking machine where they run to for any financial responsibilities and obligations. Ur friend is finacially indisciplined that's why she is paying for it now. Family ko nuclear ni, if I hear.

anonimi:

That husband nor be better person abeg!

Idonbelieveit. Some women when a man wants to give money to anybody both families and friends that is when they draw up their own list just because they saw u giving money to someone else. They don't want u to give except them and pple from them. I guess that's why some men act that way.

komek:

Aunty, nobody is manipulating or using Voodoo on anybody here. Some pple are like that. They want there wards to compete with other pple. Like making sure they live well at there own detriment. They will go all out to make sure there family members don't lack anything either because they are soft hearted or because they are doing it to compete with so folks or doing it to get so sort of praises. As soon as ur family members discovers this kinda person, u will become their milking machine where they run to for any financial responsibilities and obligations. Ur friend is finacially indisciplined that's why she is paying for it now. Family ko nuclear ni, if I hear.

its true. You have strong point o. Its better someone just harden his or her heart sometimes when its come to this over demanding family..strong point my brother

2CatWoman:


The bolded part is the key, not voodoo or juju. Some relatives can be extremely manipulative and some parents play up the respect aspect to much even going to the lengths of cursing you and your own children.

hmm its true o. No be lie this is another strong point o..na wah

It is in the Bible " God loves a cheerful giver" It is more "blessed to give than to receive". "Be your brother's keeper" and so many others. All these words are words of wisdom for you to be richer. If you are opportune to be struggling to become somebody tomorrow, you must show and exhibit these characters to attract God's mercy. If you are opportune to be comfortable financially, your financial achievement is God's doing for the purpose of God's blessings to be extented to those in need through you. If you realize this and practise sincerely with pure heart, God will continue to use you as His source of blessings to others, thereby making you richer. It's matter of choice to either remain poor with your spirit of tight-fitted hand, or open doors of God's source of blessing through you by given, or open doors of more financially growth by using part of the ones you have to bless people in need. Finally, God's is only Merciful for those that have Mercy. This is one of the secret of natural financial richness.

eleojo23: I think the reason why they don't pay back is because they think that since you're family, you should be able to help without expecting anything in return but they forget that everyone has needs and that one works for the money. I think one should spell out the terms and conditions before giving out the money if you expect to be paid back. If it is not made clear that the money is a loan, you're most likely not going to be paid back. There are however some people that you give money and you know that they cannot pay back, so in such cases, it would have to come from you as a gift..

I have instances where I borrowed relatives money however, irrespective of how pressing such person's needs are now, I can only give you that which I know I am giving away. I told one of them I will never lend money to her because she duped me twice and that is my position.

angela98: Thank you vikel2104. Very very good points. Let me start by sharing an awful dilemma that my colleague in UK is facing.
She and her hubby has a good job they own a house have two kids. They never neglected family back home, they are always very supportive. She built her mum a house, sponsored her siblings through school, set up businesses for them. the husband has only two brothers no parent, he brought them to study in UK on a student visa. Her mum came visiting in UK after her return to Nigeria, she suddenly became greedy. She went as far as using voodoo to start demanding and collecting money from the daughter without empathy.
I witnessed one occasion, on that day she called and asked her daughter to send her £5000 to acquire a chieftaincy title. This lady didn't have that money but went to borrow from the bank and send to her mother. The financial demand didn't stop both from her married brothers and sisters until she ran into debt.
UK economy crushed, lots of folks lost their jobs or have their working hours reduced . she lost her job, could no longer keep up with her debt and mortgage. Her husband developed cancer was hospitalised, earlier this year her hubby passed on. To cut story short, she ran to her family for comfort during the distressing time, they shunned her. Because she couldn't afford to pay for her nephews tuition fee. Her mum called her stingy and selfish for the first time. Anyway, the bank took possession of her house and she resorted to renting again. No savings no job, ended up in bad credit record. Now she is trying to pick up her life. See what family did to her. They wrecked her dry. She has spent 28years in UK.

That's a Sad one. For me, to help anybody be it friend, immediate, or distant family member takes the grace of God. It not easy at all. If God gives you the grace to know exactly whom to and when to render help, then, you are really blessed, because youwill be sowing seeds that you will reap it's blessing in the future. Hence, there is a difference between giving because you feel people expect you to give or giving to show you have got it and meeting genuine needs. As some people have rightly said here, we have some heartless and unscrupulous relatives whose preoccupation is to find ways of running their relatives down. Another annoying aspect of this giving thing is that of ungrateful few, who after you have given them will go behind to say " upon all he/she has, this is what he/she can afford to give..." what! Did you help the person labor when he or she was toiling? Na wao! I don see different kind of people for my life.

Timika: That's a Sad one. For me, to help anybody be it friend, immediate, or distant family member takes the grace of God. It not easy at all. If God gives you the grace know exactly who to and when to render help, then, you are really blessed, because youwill be sowing seeds that you will reap it's blessing in the future. Hence, there is a difference between giving because you feel people expects you to give or giving to show you have got it and meeting genuine needs. As some people have rightly said here, we have some heartless and unscrupulous relatives whose preoccupation is to find ways of running their relatives down.

Abi o. You've said it all.