Hello Family,
Its been a great pleasure been on this section,I've learnt so much from here,and I know I can get helpful and reasonable advices here.
Straight to the point. I'm from a family of four,viz my mom,my elder bro' , my younger bro' and myself,our dad is late. We're just an average family. My elder bro' got married last year n now has a child. He's still sort of dependent on our mom. I'm currently seeing a young man,whom from all indications loves me deeply,I love him too as well,we've been dating for over a year now. He's told me he wants us to get married and to be frank with you,I'll be the most blessed lady to get married to such a promising young man,'cause he's a good man;but i'm really so scared of what the future holds for us if we end up getting married,this is because even though I'm from an average family,all my needs has always been carted for and I wouldn't know what starting my family with little will look like,'cause my fiance is currently earning very little(25k) and I'm a recent graduate who is even yet to serve,though I got a casual job to keep myself busy for the time being. Sincerely I envision a bright future for us.
I'm of the school of thought that believes that children would grow up to take care of their parents n not the other way round. Growing up,I've always dreamt of taking good care of my mom and my younger bro. I'm scared of ending up like my elder bro' who's still sort of dependent on my mom,Its my desire for my husband n I to take care of my mom as well as his parents.I love my fiance so much to leave him because of low finances,he's still doing his best to get a better job and I'm really encouraging him alongside with prayers. I'm not the type that will stay at home idle when we get married,I'm willing to support him.
Now my big is fear is, well to do suitors are coming(I'm in my twenties)but I feel it will be cheapening to leave my man for some other coz of money,I know money is vital in making a marriage work;but I feel its still not enough to break up something that seems genuine,he meets most of my requirements of an ideal man just that currently he's yet to get a better job... Dunno if I'm making any sense.
Please advice me,I'm really confused...

Madam, pls what's d rush 4? U're just talking abt husband, husband, what of u? Don't u even want 2 get a job&be able 2 take care of urself without depending on nyone?

Nywys, I always advise ladies neva 2 marry without a job, xcept ur husband has plans on what u'll be doing 2 take care of urself without depending on him.

Its up 2 u dear!

You don't need to jump into marriage now dear. It is not an achievement. Get yourself settled first. Go for your service and look for good job. If good job not forthcoming, think of service you can render to people and you get paid. There are lots of business you can do. Also ask your friend to try his hands in some business that will fetch him more money without quitting his job.
I hope you get it right.

Options available:
1. Leave the struggling guy; marry a rich or a well to do man.
You may or may not end up happy and he might decide not to help your family, his money...his rules.

2. Stay with struggling guy; he might not be in that state forever or he might not go much higher than this present state or progress may not be so great.
You may or may not end up happy especially if you begin to resent him for not being able to meet all your needs.

Why do we choose life partners?

1. To make our parents happy and proud?
2. To make ourselves happy and proud?
3. To make our friends happy and proud?

I am an advocate of parent(s) reaping the fruits of their labour but at what cost? Has your mum ever hinted at you marrying a rich man?

You haven't gone for service yet, why not wait till after service before getting married? A good job might have been gotten by your partner then and if not, you both can look at ways that extra income can be made. Is your partner a graduate?

Suitors will always come, the key thing is contentment with what you own and with whom you are and you won't even see the suitors as rich or not but as men with faults and imperfections.

My advice? Don't worry overmuch over such things as these. You both don't have to depend on your mother if you eventually marry and things haven't progressed much, just live within your means...

I wish you both the best.

Enoquin: Options available:
1. Leave the struggling guy; marry a rich or a well to do man.
You may or may not end up happy and he might decide not to help your family, his money...his rules.

2. Stay with struggling guy; he might not be in that state forever or he might not go much higher than this present state or progress may not be so great.
You may or may not end up happy especially if you begin to resent him for not being able to meet all your needs.

Why do we choose life partners?

1. To make our parents happy and proud?
2. To make ourselves happy and proud?
3. To make our friends happy and proud?

I am an advocate of parent(s) reaping the fruits of their labour but at what cost? Has your mum ever hinted at you marrying a rich man?

You haven't gone for service yet, why not wait till after service before getting married? A good job might have been gotten by your partner then and if not, you both can look at ways that extra income can be made. Is your partner a graduate?

Suitors will always come, the key thing is contentment with what you own and with whom you are and you won't even see the suitors as rich or not but as men with faults and imperfections.

My advice? Don't worry overmuch over such things as these. You both don't have to depend on your mother if you eventually marry and things haven't progressed much, just live within your means...

I wish you both the best.

He graduated with a 2.1. Thanks ma,I'm encouraged.