ToriEmManson: I got a nice feeling abt dis story...nice story op...sitting in frnt wid my ebola free bush meat n bottle peak milk...who cares ta join me...princeadepoju cum n c o ur seat is ryt here...vonn kum n encourage d op...

I must not miss this story oooo
Thanks for alerting me

vonn: Mehn! I love this kind of writer oooo.
100 updates in a day
My dear, more inspiration to your heart...............

Thank God u av arrived...welcome

vonn: Mehn! I love this kind of writer oooo.
100 updates in a day
My dear, more inspiration to your heart...............

tnx 4 ur comment,hope 2 see more of it

..........continuation...........

The first customer was carrying some eggs in a bowl. She wanted to buy only the eggs. Chike sent obinna to go round the market and know how other people were selling their own eggs. He asked for the price of eggs and also that of fowls in a nearby stall and quickly came back. They felt happy after having counted their money. Obinna whispered to chike that he was going to buy a portable walkman very soon.

When their second customer had bought a local cockerel and left,chike had sent obinna out again,to go and find out how much others were selling the same size of ducks and turkeys as theirs. On returning,obinna saw an old woman taking out fowls from the cages. He could not believe what he saw. There was a little crowd of people round their stand. Initially,he felt very happy thinking that they were all their customers. Then he saw the second person that bought from them pointing at him.

'Here he comes. This is the boy who brought it out from the cage,' said their second customer.

Obinna sensed that something was amiss. Probably she had bumped into the genuine owner of the fowl they sold to her or something else? He instinctively dodged behind a man that was bargaining for an icefish in a stall. He tried to creep away but it was too late;he was caught by the angry mob.

It so happened that the woman had been passing with the cock she bought when an older woman stopped her. She had humbly given the cock to her after she explained to her that she had been looking for hers. Then after inspection,the older woman had bluntly told her that she was a thief. Before she could realize anything the old woman had held her by her wrapper shouting that she had caught a thief. She had even tried strip her naked when she had started to struggle to have the cock back. The younger woman had explained to the people that gathered that she had just bought the cock from two boys. One of the people gathered had asked the older woman if she had anything with the identity of her own cock. She had said that she had many marks to prove that: she had painted all her fowls with black paint on their limbs,cut their middle craws and she tied a piece of an old cloth to their wings ,and besides she had been looking for four of her cocks. All the marks mentioned by the older woman had been found on every fowl from her stall. They had been a heavy boo from all directions to the young woman. At that point,one of the market security men had come out from the crowd. He had ordered her to show them the boys who she had bought the cock from..........to be continued

..........continuation...........

They had met only chike and he had tried to deny the woman. Although no receipt was issued toher,truth prevailed; the older woman had recognised three more of her cocks from the cage. Chike had tried to escape but had been caught. A young man had held him by the neck,trying to squeeze him to death. That was when obinna was spotted by the second customer and then,the angry mob went after him. Within a short time,a crowd of more than 50 peole circled chike and obinna. They consisted of buyers and sellers and security men. They were waiting for the next thing that would follow: the law of the village market had it that anybody caught in such an act was liable to be stripped naked and flogged by a commitee.

After they had been flogged,the commitee made them two snail-shell necklaces, which they wore round their necks. They were taken round the market naked and to some part of their villages. Their bodies were filled with marks left by the leather whip the committee used on them. They carried the two cages with them. In the process, the owners of those remaining poultry were given a chance to claim them from the commettee. At last,the two thieves were respectively taken to their house for general searching.

Peole shouted when they saw their missing turkies,ducks and fowls at chike's house. There was no other person in the house when they gained entrance,except his aged father. He displayed a nonchalant attitude towards the case. That was not the first time he was paid such visit. But the previous ones were by the police.

Mazi Okoye was sitting in his armchair under the shade of an ogbu tree,in the front center of his compound. He had heard the story, as the doctrine of the saying that 'no news is goodnews' had it that once there was bad news people would hear it. So, he had decided on what to do about the case. Neither him nor his wife had ever dared to look at somebody's property. He wondered where their son inherited his criminal trait. GOD FORBID! Only obinna knew,Mazi Okoye was wrestling with his mind. He lifted his face at them as they entered. Obinna was sheding some crocodile tears. His father welcomedthem and led the search. They searched under his bed,nothing was found in his house that was not his own. When everybody was statisfied with the search,Mazi Okoye proclaimed that obinna was no longer his son,that his conscience could not allow him harbour a thief in his house. He further gave them a go-ahead order to take him away and do whatever they liked with them. His mother was heard sobbing in her room..................to be continued

ToriEmManson: I got a nice feeling abt dis story...nice story op...sitting in frnt wid my ebola free bush meat n bottle peak milk...who cares ta join me...princeadepoju cum n c o ur seat is ryt here...

thanks for inviting me, dear.

but me no get interest in the ebola free bush meat oo......you can just pass me the milk

Nice story, Nunushokoto(quite a funny moniker)


I think names(nouns) should have their first letters in capital. I almost took 'ume' for 'utme'
E.g Chika and Obinna fled to Onitsha. Ume and his wife, Ezinne were worried.

You should try and add space after your punctuations(especially comma). It will make your story look neat.

Also, I think the technique you deployed makes the story kinda boring(little wonder some told he had read it in his Jss3 or something..)

I will advise you to make your characters speak and you quote them, instead of the fully narrative technique you deployed.

This is not a narrative essay, or is it?

An example is,

After the search party had left, Ezinne sobbed as she watched her son being led away--he was severely beaten.
Ume left the chair he was sitting and angrily stormed inside. Then, his wife ran after him, crying:

"Baba Obinna, I beg you in the name of God. Let them bring back my son. He's not a thief, he has never stolen oooo".

"Woman, you better don't come near me.....else, I will call them back to take you with him. Useless mother!!"

"chaii, Baba Obinna have killed me oooooo" Ezinne allowed her tears as she rolled on the floor.
It was more like a witch about-to-be-delivered in a deliverance session.


I wish i was a critic.
Well done, sir

PrinceAdepoju: Nice story, Nunushokoto(quite a funny moniker)


I think names(nouns) should have their first letters in capital. I almost took 'ume' for 'utme'
E.g Chika and Obinna fled to Onitsha. Ume and his wife, Ezinne were worried.

You should try and add space after your punctuations(especially comma). It will make your story look neat.

Also, I think the technique you deployed makes the story kinda boring(little wonder some told he had read it in his Jss3 or something..)

I will advise you to make your characters speak and you quote them, instead of the fully narrative technique you deployed.

This is not a narrative essay, or is it?

An example is,

After the search party had left, Ezinne sobbed as she watched her son being led away--he was severely beaten.
Ume left the chair he was sitting and angrily stormed inside. Then, his wife ran after him, crying:

"Baba Obinna, I beg you in the name of God. Let them bring back my son. He's not a thief, he has never stolen oooo".

"Woman, you better don't come near me.....else, I will call them back to take you with him. Useless mother!!"

"chaii, Baba Obinna have killed me oooooo" Ezinne allowed her tears as she rolled on the floor.
It was more like a witch about-to-be-delivered in a deliverance session.


I wish i was a critic.
Well done, sir

tnx 4 ur advice,i'll see to that.

PrinceAdepoju: thanks for inviting me, dear.

but me no get interest in the ebola free bush meat oo......you can just pass me the milk

no o...d rule is eat 5 bush meats n get 10 bottled milk free

This story is copied from a book, THE OVER AMBITIOUS VILLAGE BOY by Onyebuchi

hmmm