I was in a think-thank last week when the issue deviated to the large number of Nigerian marriages abroad that’s ending up in divorce. The discussion shifted to the role people back home play in breaking up marriages abroad.

If you are involved in any of the identified groups below, please withdraw and desist now before you regret like others.

1). A young wife/husband abroad who spend hours chatting with either a man/women or ex-boyfriend/girlfriend back home on Facebook, Whatsapp,BBM etc, getting deceived into dumping or divorcing his/her spouse for them. Foolishly some people do and end up with a manipulative green-card-seeking fellow back home. Before they knew it the damage is done – a 2nd divorce. Emotional infidelity is more dangerous than physical infidelity.

2). The pastors back home who set up prayer lines targeting people abroad seeing visions and prophecies for them and end up seeing problems for them where there was none before. The worst is a pastor who convinced a man to divorce his wife because she’s not the wife meant for him by God. Really creepy pastors back home! Beware!

3). The so-called best friends and besties back home who feed their friends abroad with bogus news of peers that made it big, who built what house and bought what car, who is doing well and who is not, etc indirectly creating some sense of insecurity and disenchantment and lack of fulfillment in friends’ marriages abroad.

4). The all-knowing Aunt, friend, mentor, etc who has strings of failed relationships but is an expert in reeling out relationship advice to young people abroad. They call you and send you texts as best friends all filled with mind-poisoning messages. Before you know it little issues with your spouse will escalate and end in divorce. Then you end up like them – All-knowing yet full of life’s problems.

5). The family members who put undue financial pressure on their relatives abroad to start business, buy property, ship cars / goods for sale, pay bills back home etc but end up squandering the resources entrusted in their hands thereby creating financial hardships for their relatives abroad which end up affecting marriages.

6). The se*x tourists who travels home very often in the name of doing business in Nigeria but actually patronizing cheap girls back home. Some already have secret babies by girls back home thereby maintaining two families, one abroad and another at home.

7). The naïve girls back home who fall in love with married men abroad without proper investigations and foolishly accepting marriage proposals from them.

9). Dating and marrying needy girls (so-called humble wives) back home whose ultimate goals is to uplift their poor families. They see marriage through the greencard lens and see of dollars and cents.

. Nollywood films. The belief in these storylines have adversely affected the psyche of some people. They forget it’s what it’s- an acted scripts.

Therefore do we blame people back home for most failed Nigerian marriages abroad?

I believe that no matter the influence, one is still left to make his/her choice. Everyone is responsible for his/her life. That is why marriage is only for the mature minded. To say that people back home are responsible for failed marriages abroad is pure fallacy. Methinks someone just wants to play the blame game.

Guy stop spewing thrash. I met a man somewhere around Bissonnet in Houston whose wife was gonna divorce him. According to him, she had become arrogant, boastful & resented him cos she earned 3 times what he does and felt she had no use of him anymore. How was that caused by home-based Nigerians?

Peeps divorce for a variety of reasons, notable amongst these being: loss of attraction, infidelity, insecurity, distrust, work commitments, the desire to be free... So do ur research well and stop blaming the good people back home.

eleojo23: I believe that no matter the influence, one is still left to make his/her choice. Everyone is responsible for his/her life. That is why marriage is only for the mature minded. To say that people back home are responsible for failed marriages abroad is pure fallacy. Methinks someone just wants to play the blame game.

And how much choice did you have in the religion you pratice today since you think external influence plays no role on how people turn out?

phabulous88: Guy stop spewing thrash. I met a man somewhere around Bissonnet in Houston whose wife was gonna divorce him. According to him, she had become arrogant, boastful & resented him cos she earned 3 times what he does and felt she had no use of him anymore. How was that caused by home-based Nigerians?

Peeps divorce for a variety of reasons, notable amongst these being: loss of attraction, infidelity, insecurity, distrust, work commitments, the desire to be free... So do ur research well and stop blaming the good people back home.

Do you think the lady or man in question will openly admit to you that he/she is divorcing because she/he has been seeing someoneelse behind? No party tells the truth during a divorce. It's all buoyed up stories to look good and make the other person look evil. Moreover you heard from only one of the couple & concluded that's the cause. Have you heard from the other side?

I guess it would have been more appropriate to say these are the remote causes. Usually people do not hear or tell the remote causes of a problem. If there's a sudden loss of affection in a relationship, something caused it abi? If a working woman suddenly stopped helping her husband financially with bills, something triggered it - perhaps the suspicion there's another woman somewhere.