The video expresses the warped thinking some of our women have...they believe a man can't love them for who they are or guys are bad....n thus find themselves with the bad guys thus fulfilling the prophecy ...

pickabeau1: The video expresses the warped thinking some of our women have...they believe a man can't love them for who they are or guys are bad....n thus find themselves with the bad guys thus fulfilling the prophecy ...

You be prophet?

The mind is a very powerful tool; you can only achieve what your mind can conceive or dream

I really saw it manifest in my cousins' marriages

They got everything they wanted

I'm no prophet... Just an observer...


If all that can come out of a woman's mouth is all men r rãpists or bad or wicked...it gives u an insight in what she went through


I can go on n on

Bukatyne

bukatyne:

Another thing is that a good man is not necessarily a good husband

There is a difference between doing what I think you like and doing what you like

But in the end, a great wife will still appreciate a great husband

So men, find a great wife

Nice comment. I agree.

carefreewannabe:

Nice comment. I agree.

Thanks

pickabeau1: I'm no prophet... Just an observer...


If all that can come out of a woman's mouth is all men r rãpists or bad or wicked...it gives u an insight in what she went through


I can go on n on

Bukatyne

Well most people talk from their Parents' marriages that is why I hate the staying for kids advice

I was discussing with someone some years ago and she insisted all men cheat and I naively asked if her father was cheating and she gave me this look

She ended up marrying a cheating husband

NL does not help you guys either

Buky take 5 for that comment

The mind is a very powerful tool indeed.

So on point.

Hope married life is treating u well?

bukatyne:

Well most people talk from their Parents' marriages that is why I hate the staying for kids advice

I was discussing with someone some years ago and she insisted all men cheat and I naively asked if her father was cheating and she gave me this look

She ended up marrying a cheating husband

NL does not help you guys either

Why the statement you guys?
I feel it stereotypes both genders..

Staying for kids is not always a bad thing

andromida:

This i think is true. Better men should remain masculine being a good husband does not mean acting like a sissy,becoming as feminine as a woman it now feels like she is dealing with a female friend.

Women
Too hard and you're unfeeling
Too caring and you're sissy

pickabeau1:

Why the statement you guys?
I feel it stereotypes both genders..

Staying for kids is not always a bad thing

guys here refer to men; husbands.

Well, I am not for what is popular

What is the use of a father if he teaches his kids that it is ok to cheat?

If a wife stays with a cheating husband, does she tell her kids notto follow daddy's footsteps or does she keep mute and watch jnr and princess do the same thing?

You know why girls will keep marrying cheats and abusers? Because they saw their fathers do it.

moca: Buky take 5 for that comment

The mind is a very powerful tool indeed.

So on point.

Hope married life is treating u well?

Yelllowpawpaw,

Splendid

Thanks

bukatyne:

guys here refer to men; husbands.

Well, I am not for what is popular

What is the use of a father if he teaches his kids that it is ok to cheat?

If a wife stays with a cheating husband, does she tell her kids notto follow daddy's footsteps or does she keep mute and watch jnr and princess do the same thing?

You know why girls will keep marrying cheats and abusers? Because they saw their fathers do it.

Point 1
No...you r mixing jumbling multiple things together
Your statement could be interpreted to say when there is a problem ..bail .. Irrespective of kids

I said ...staying because of kids is not always a bad thing as it could resuscitate the relationship

Its not about what is popular


Not all marital problems are because the father is cheating..

Point 2
On blaming..why always the men or husbands.why not a portion of this blame for the ladies who persist in this warped mindset.

BECAUSE THEY ARE PHOCKING BORRRRRRRRING!!!!!

pickabeau1:

Point 1
No...you r mixing jumbling multiple things together
Your statement could be interpreted to say when there is a problem ..bail .. Irrespective of kids

I said ...staying because of kids is not always a bad thing as it could resuscitate the relationship

Its not about what is popular


Not all marital problems are because the father is cheating..

Point 2
On blaming..why always the men or husbands.why not a portion of this blame for the ladies who persist in this warped mindset.

Point 1: I have not said people should bail at all martial problems neither have I said that all problems are causes by men cheating. I would have used the standad he/she but most men divorce/send away cheating wives so it does not apply

Point 2: Most ladies who do not tow the line of their fathers during husband choosing are those whose mothers did not stay with their fathers. Which mouth will a cheating father tell his daughter to be wiry of cheating men or a mother who condoned such tell her daughters? The question any reasonable daughter should ask is 'are you saying daddy was not a good husband or a good role model?'

If we do not want to live right because of our spouses, let us do so because our children are watching us, learning from us, oaking us up. Let us live our lives in such a way that when people say 'you are the son of your father or the daughter of your mother' our faces shine with pride of a job well done.

OK..

stinggy:
Women
Too hard and you're unfeeling
Too caring and you're sissy

Yeah so you strike a balance.

This is yet another sensationalistic posting filled with false and misleading information. At the top of the list is the long repeated myth that "50% of all marriages end in divorce." This erroneous statement from the mid 1980's has been disproven so many times that any posting that uses it is either using it for the sensational value, or has not done the proper research (most likely both). A simple research-oriented google search blows it out of the water.

This myth is based on a statistics from a couple of years where the divorce rate was 1/2 of the marriage rate. The main year used is 1981 (the first year this anomaly occurred). It has also been shown that the divorce rate in the US peaked in 1981, and began to decline after that (as did the marriage rate).

The other source of this myth is speculation - several sociologists used the data from the very early 1980's to project that: "If this trend continues, 50% of marriages will end in divorce." but again, the data does not back up the assumption that these projections came true.

Additional studies have shown:
- 72% of adults are still married to their original partner (or lost their partner due to death)
- 81% of college graduates over 26 years of age, who wed in the 1980s,
were still married 20 years later
- 65% of college graduates under 26
who married in the 1980s, were still married 20 years later. These studies are from Wharton School of business, NORC at University of Chicago, and other institutions.

A New York Times article in 2005 stated "the percentage of all marriages that eventually end in divorce peaked in
the United States at about 41% around 1980, and has been slowly
declining ever since, standing by 2002 at around 31%". Since then it has held steady around 30% to 34%.

Additionally, the writer of the article should really provide some cold hard proof on divorce papers being handed out because "Hubby was caring, he was simply too good a man". In the real world, the leading causes for divorce are:

Infidelity
Poor communication
Financial problems
A lack of commitment to the marriage
A dramatic change in priorities
Failed expectations or unmet needs
Addictions and substance abuse
Physical, sexual or emotional abuse
Lack of conflict resolution skills.

Finally, it's interesting to note that contrary to the decline or "leveling" of the divorce rates for all other demographics, there's a particular demographic that has doubled it's divorce rate in the last 10 years. Can you guess who they are? The over 50's! Food for thought...

Nice points E Soul

Can you provide percent of relationships which are marriages and those which are living arrangements or others etc

Do you think 31pc of marriages ending in divorce is ideal...

Also what's the PC for the over 50s

EnlightenedSoul: This is yet another sensationalistic posting filled with false and misleading information. At the top of the list is the long repeated myth that "50% of all marriages end in divorce." This erroneous statement from the mid 1980's has been disproven so many times that any posting that uses it is either using it for the sensational value, or has not done the proper research (most likely both). A simple research-oriented google search blows it out of the water.

This myth is based on a statistics from a couple of years where the divorce rate was 1/2 of the marriage rate. The main year used is 1981 (the first year this anomaly occurred). It has also been shown that the divorce rate in the US peaked in 1981, and began to decline after that (as did the marriage rate).

The other source of this myth is speculation - several sociologists used the data from the very early 1980's to project that: "If this trend continues, 50% of marriages will end in divorce." but again, the data does not back up the assumption that these projections came true.

Additional studies have shown:
- 72% of adults are still married to their original partner (or lost their partner due to death)
- 81% of college graduates over 26 years of age, who wed in the 1980s,
were still married 20 years later
- 65% of college graduates under 26
who married in the 1980s, were still married 20 years later. These studies are from Wharton School of business, NORC at University of Chicago, and other institutions.

A New York Times article in 2005 stated "the percentage of all marriages that eventually end in divorce peaked in
the United States at about 41% around 1980, and has been slowly
declining ever since, standing by 2002 at around 31%". Since then it has held steady around 30% to 34%.

Additionally, the writer of the article should really provide some cold hard proof on divorce papers being handed out because "Hubby was caring, he was simply too good a man". In the real world, the leading causes for divorce are:

Infidelity
Poor communication
Financial problems
A lack of commitment to the marriage
A dramatic change in priorities
Failed expectations or unmet needs
Addictions and substance abuse
Physical, sexual or emotional abuse
Lack of conflict resolution skills.

Finally, it's interesting to note that contrary to the decline or "leveling" of the divorce rates for all other demographics, there's a particular demographic that has doubled it's divorce rate in the last 10 years. Can you guess who they are? The over 50's! Food for thought...

wow!
Intresting...
Saving this for future purposes.

joywendy: wow!
Intresting...
Saving this for future purposes.

Before you save and start considering that the gospel truth.

I guess you should understand perception is a big issue here. There's a general perception in the world courtesy of what the media says that most marriages are ending in divorces nowadays coupled with the fact that bad news spread easily and we all do hear of one bad marriage or the other more often. Although the stats given by tbaba and the picture it paints may look a bit excessive but it still does not remove the fact that a lot more marriages are crashing and reasons are not basically because of problems faced in the marriages of old but because of new avoidable challenges caused by stereotypes, equality and so on. I believe its hard adjusting to this shift by the word i.e men-women domination to that of equal rights and so on.

It's a complicated issue and no one can explain it out with an article or survey. Phew!!. I need to get to bed.

introspective article, but a little presumptive. Anyway there's a lesson for both genders here. Men should understand that women are complicated creatures of instinct. It is better to give a woman what you perceive she needs rather than what you think 'all' women want. Why would you want to go all romantic on a hood rat when clearly she has other ideas what a man should be like. Too much of everything is bad, and men should learn to strike a balance between being tender and being testosterone driven, selfish, strong, masculine males. Women, appreciate a good man when you find one, the grass is always greener on the outside, communicate your needs effectively to your man, and guide him towards fulfilling those needs.

Nice points E Soul
Can you provide percent of relationships which are marriages and those which are living arrangements or others etc
Do you think 31pc of marriages ending in divorce is ideal...

@pickabeau

That is the current range. Realistically, we have to take into account the rise in "cohabitation" (around 7% of 30-44 yr olds) and the slight decrease in marriage (these rates have dropped only for the uneducated, rates for the college educated saw no decrease).

Most people are simply putting off marriage till much later in life - this is the smarter choice, the states with the highest divorce rates happen to be in the "Bible Belt" wherein young, uneducated (no college degree) 18-24 yr olds routinely rush into marriage (only to divorce) - but there is also a rising sentiment on marriage being unnecessary and about "a piece of paper, so why undergo?" Some couples cohabit all their lives with a mutual aversion to marriage, whilst others view it as a step towards marriage (65%). Still, the majority of people at least try marriage as the Pew Research data indicates:

[img]http://aidsoversixty.files./2011/06/pew-2.png[/img]
For more on cohabitation: http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2011/06/27/living-together-the-economics-of-cohabitation/

Also what's the PC for the over 50s

In 1990, the divorce rate for the over 50s was 1 in 10, by 2010 it had more than doubled to a 1 in 4 prevalence. Some consider this statistic worthy of societal concern since an aging person living alone would likely require more outside assistance than is the standard etc.

Thanks for taking out time for this


I wanted to be sure there was a bit of balance in youras this new infor shows that the OP is not far off

If 42 pc of couples are not married and 31 pc of married couples divorce (58%)

We are looking at an effective marriage' rate of 69% of 58% = 40.02%

Which means non-marriage of 60%

Do you see marriage is getting less relevant

EnlightenedSoul:
@pickabeau

That is the current range. Realistically, we have to take into account the rise in "cohabitation" (around 7% of 30-44 yr olds) and the slight decrease in marriage (these rates have dropped only for the uneducated, rates for the college educated saw no decrease).

Most people are simply putting off marriage till much later in life - this is the smarter choice, the states with the highest divorce rates happen to be in the "Bible Belt" wherein young, uneducated (no college degree) 18-24 yr olds routinely rush into marriage (only to divorce) - but there is also a rising sentiment on marriage being unnecessary and about "a piece of paper, so why undergo?" Some couples cohabit all their lives with a mutual aversion to marriage, whilst others view it as a step towards marriage (65%). Still, the majority of people at least try marriage as the Pew Research data indicates:

[img]http://aidsoversixty.files./2011/06/pew-2.png[/img]
For more on cohabitation: http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2011/06/27/living-together-the-economics-of-cohabitation/



In 1990, the divorce rate for the over 50s was 1 in 10, by 2010 it had more than doubled to a 1 in 4 prevalence. Some consider this statistic worthy of societal concern since an aging person living alone would likely require more outside assistance than is the standard etc.

the circle of life has turned and women are now the very confused ones who dont know what they want....

pickabeau1: Thanks for taking out time for this

I wanted to be sure there was a bit of balance in your as this new infor shows that the OP is not far off

If 42 pc of couples are not married and 31 pc of married couples divorce (58%)

We are looking at an effective marriage' rate of 69% of 58% = 40.02%

Which means non-marriage of 60%

Do you see marriage is getting less relevant

It's not that simple.

[img]http://aidsoversixty.files./2011/06/pew-2.png[/img]

Of that 7% above, 65% view cohabiting as a step towards marriage. The "No Partner" group includes the divorced, the single, and committed people who are neither married nor cohabiting. Also keep in mind that people are putting marriage off till much later. It's clear to see that we're dealing with quite a few variables here.

Besides, it's one thing to say marriage is "less relevant" and quite another thing to imply that 50% of marriages are ending in divorce due to the "abandonment of good men".

What really tickled me about the piece was the author's use of the word "androgyny". Because we all know that being faithful, attentive, helping around the house, and being an all-around supportive husband makes you not a MAN, but an "androgynous man", right? Pure hilarity.

good analysis... we can look at the data as a snapshot... hence my postulation will be correct

on the hypothesis about good men or not,,, thats a different line of thinking....

this is an aside

wat do u think of women maltreating good men..

EnlightenedSoul:

It's not that simple.

[img]http://aidsoversixty.files./2011/06/pew-2.png[/img]

Of that 7% above, 65% view cohabiting as a step towards marriage. The "No Partner" group includes the divorced, the single, and committed people who are neither married nor cohabiting. Also keep in mind that people are putting marriage off till much later. It's clear to see that we're dealing with quite a few variables here.

Besides, it's one thing to say marriage is "less relevant" and quite another thing to imply that 50% of marriages are ending in divorce due to the "abandonment of good men".

What really tickled me about the piece was the author's use of the word "androgyny". Because we all know that being faithful, attentive, helping around the house, and being an all-around supportive husband makes you not a MAN, but an "androgynous man", right? Pure hilarity.

snubish: introspective article, but a little presumptive. Anyway there's a lesson for both genders here. Men should understand that women are complicated creatures of instinct. It is better to give a woman what you perceive she needs rather than what you think 'all' women want. Why would you want to go all romantic on a hood rat when clearly she has other ideas what a man should be like. Too much of everything is bad, and men should learn to strike a balance between being tender and being testosterone driven, selfish, strong, masculine males. Women, appreciate a good man when you find one, the grass is always greener on the outside, communicate your needs effectively to your man, and guide him towards fulfilling those needs.

Thank you at the bolded!

Women love bla bla, diamonds are a girl's best friend (join the one wey dey go deeper life) etc. They will not study want the exact woman wants

Same thing with the women

pickabeau1: good analysis... we can look at the data as a snapshot... hence my postulation will be correct

on the hypothesis about good men or not,,, thats a different line of thinking....

this is an aside

wat do u think of women maltreating good men..

Thanks. As explained, the snapshot doesn't support the postulation.

The same way I feel about anybody being maltreated; "good" or "bad".

EnlightenedSoul:

Thanks. As explained, the snapshot doesn't support the postulation.

The same way I feel about anybody being maltreated; "good" or "bad".

OK...