]How I resigned from the “One Man – One Wife” club

Maybe it’s midlife crises or maybe it’s something else, but recently the topic of polygamy keeps finding its way into conversations with my friends. And because I always insist that one woman was enough for me, they call me the President of the ‘One man – One wife’ club. But something happened some weeks ago that changed all of that.

You see my preference for monogamy is not rooted in any belief in its superiority as a matrimonial system rather it is based simply on my fear of fatigue. In my calculation, if having a wife requires some considerable amount of work – you know, the kind of work that husband do on their wives (I’m trying hard not to be vulgar here) – then having 2 wives will automatically mean twice the work, 3 wives thrice the work, etc. and since with only one wife I am at a point of equilibrium, I felt getting a second wife will tilt the balance towards fatigue. And because I believe strongly that marriage is meant to be a pleasant experience, then there shouldn’t be any room for fatigue in it, hence my preference for monogamy.

But apparently, I was wrong. Sexual relations had no respect for math logic after all. I was made to realize this first by a group of polygamists and then later by a published scientific paper.

First the polygamists…

Some weeks ago, I was in a conversation with some senior colleagues at the office (all of them with multiple wives) and one of them mentioned how his sexual drive effectively doubled after he married his second wife. [In case you are wondering why we were having that kind of conversation at the office, well, we were on strike then:
. As soon as the guy said that, all the others supported him with similar experiences of their own. One of them, a three star General (that’s polygamists’ lingo for having three wives) said he is so virile now that he can actually service all three wives in one night. And he added, looking pointedly at my now incredulous face that he too wouldn’t have believed back when he had just one wife, that he would actually “perform” much better with three. He concluded that it was a mystery only Generals could understand. Apparently, having one wife didn’t make me a one star General.

Then the science…

A couple of days ago, I was searching the web for something completely unrelated and accidentally stumbled upon the findings of a research that was conducted way back in the 1970s. The experiment was initially conducted on rats but was subsequently carried out on other higher mammals all with very similar results. The summary of the findings as aptly put by Glenn Wilson in his “The Great Sex Divide”;

“The males of most mammals have a definite urge towards seeking variety in their in sexual partners. If a male rat is introduced to a female rat in a cage, a remarkably high copulation rate will be observed at first. Then, progressively, the male will tire of that particular female and, even though there is no apparent change in her receptivity, he eventually reaches a point where he has little apparent libido. However, if the original female is then removed and a fresh one supplied, the male is immediately restored to his formervigor and enthusiasm.”

That essentially was what “three star General” was talking about. Scientists call itthe Coolidge Effect.It was named after the 30thpresident of the United States, Calvin Coolidge. It was said that the President and his wife were visiting a government farm in Kentucky one day and after arrival were taken off on separate tours. When Mrs. Coolidge passed by the chicken pens she paused to ask her guide how often the rooster could be expected to perform his duty. ‘Dozens of times a day’ was her guide’s reply. She was most impressed by this and said rather mischievously, ‘Please tell that to the President.’ When the President was duly informed of the rooster’s performance he was initially dumbfounded. Then a thought occurred to him. ‘Was this with the same hen each time?’ he inquired. ‘Oh no, Mr President, a different one each time’ was his host’s reply. The President nodded slowly, smiled and said, ”Tell that to Mrs Coolidge!’ And thus the phenomenon was named the Coolidge Effect.

With this discovery there’s nothing left for me to do than to honorably resign my position as the president of the “One man – One wife” club. And in case you are reading this and you happen to be my wife, I’ll like to assure you darling that I am still a member of the club I am just not the president anymore.


Source: http://www.storyboardthat.com

dhardline: Hmmm

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