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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Literature / White Knight Unleashed - A Story For Nigerian People. (683 Views)
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White Knight Unleashed - A Story For Nigerian People. by Nobody: 8:45pm On Sep 02, 2014 |
[center]hello Nairalanders it is I and I need your help with reviewing my novel bit by bit as I aim to publish it, so sit back and enjoy maybe there will be a miracle and I will be able to write s good story, Cheers, don't forget to leave feedback. Chapter 1 As i ran out of the elevator into the printing room. My giant-sized shield, armor and double headed war axe all at hand. I monitored the tracker on my wrist and noticed that my target has heading towards me then i accidentally bumped into a fat man with a shirt ‘getaway weekend in Lagos, hope your wife doesn’t find out’ causing him to topple over, The different white collared workers who were busy typing away at their computers noticed me. I flashed them my Templar’s badge which seemed to allay their fears as i could see from their body movement that they were getting scared. I heard giant footsteps, my target was almost here, Time for some action. “Everybody on the floor!” I barked as a beast about fifty foot tall with two horns sticking out of a head covered with thick green scales and having cat-like slit eyes that glowed and attached to a body with more scales and spikes running from its back to its tail appeared outside the high rise building and scanned the room, the workers already had their chests on the ground and were crawling into safer places. On noticing me it opened its mouth revealing various sets of sharp red hot teeth charred by sulfur and released a long stream of fire, I reacted swiftly throwing my shield in the way and hiding behind it, the fire bent around it and filtered into the room burning furniture and office equipment and reducing them to ashes… Question you should Ansa to help me. 1.Were the first few lines enough to make you interested. 2.Did the story get boring at any point. please help out a fellow Nigerian by dropping feedback. [/center] |
Re: White Knight Unleashed - A Story For Nigerian People. by Timothy3113(m): 8:59am On Sep 03, 2014 |
Ans1: That short piece of writting cant determine wheather it os interesting. You didnt put us on suspense. Ans2: something boring is what you decide individually. As for me the writting is not lenghty, so i cant decide that. |
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