I am not going to do Dear Diary like most suckers do. I hate keeping this journal so don’t even expect me to write in it every day. Now that we are clear with that, are you my unborn great grandson or daughter? If not you are just probably some random stranger that likes gossip.

I really hate school, like seriously who the hell invented this shit? Still can’t believe some asshole thought that staying in a classroom for about fifteen years if not more of your life is cool? Five years of primary school or six years if you are unlucky enough to have parents that think primary six is cool. Then you go another six years of secondary school life, oh boy no be beans o! That’s if you are smart enough not to repeat a class and let’s not forget the likes of our brother Ciroma Chuwkuma that will write W.A.E.C. forever! After that shit is the next stage of University, four years of wasted time in dungeons if you picked a ‘normal course’. Add an extra two years or so for my eloquent friends that want to fulfill their secret fantasies of being a female and wear wigs (am talking about a lawyer you dimwit). The psychos that like cutting other people up or pervert that will like to examine dicks, vaginas, boobs or asses (whatever suits your fancy Doc). Let’s not forget those poor children that were toy starved as kids and would therefore rather experiment with metals and what have you just to be called inventors and engineers. Did I just say add two years, I forgot the best striker in the world ASUU hasn’t retired from playing we students yet! Biko add like an extra four years, ASUU aims for gold.

But as much as I hate school, I am stuck in one because someone out there thinks it is the gateway in life conveniently forgetting the success stories of drop outs and uneducated people. So sometimes I go bonkers and do my idea of normal which according to the bunch of textbook heads around me makes me a freak. Let’s talk about when a lecturer left his zipper down and I asked him innocently if exhibiting his grandpa boxers was part of the course material to be studied this semester? Common! You can’t judge me, I was just trying to contribute to the class, lecturers are always on and on about how students don’t ask questions in class. Please tell me I am not a freak for telling Miss China Doll Lecturer that her camel toe was making the class pastor touch himself secretly in class. Voila! Wasn’t I right, his little junior was right at attention and drooling. Oh and I remember not turning in the video of that History lecturer that was getting a mouth thingy from the school ‘cheerful giver’ in his office so long as I get an A in all his courses and he arranges any babe I want for me too. What is good is not for only one person!

Since we have both come to the conclusion I am not a freak, I believe we are going to be best of buddies, in between my name is Timilehin Oluwadairo but just call me Timi. Got to dash now, tell me your name later ok?



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