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11 Reasons Men Leave Their Marriages by Jayne2014(f): 10:01am On Sep 04, 2014 |
Marriages don't just fall apart overnight. They often end after months and years of both spouses trying to stick it out, firm in the belief that they can work out their issues and sustain their marriages. Once it's over, though, most divorcees can look back and pinpoint one exact moment -- one overblown argument or one instance where their spouse showed his or her true colors -- that should have signaled to them that the marriage was damaged beyond repair. On Tuesday, divorced men on Reddit shared the moment they realized their relationship didn't stand a chance. See some of the most interesting responses below. 1. When he got tired of her outbursts. "I had a car accident. Lost my job. I was still depressed about family member passing away. My wife decides she really wants a gold watch that costs $999. I tell her I can't afford to spend money on something like that in our current situation. She shuts herself in the bathroom to cry. That was the first time I didn't react to that tactics. She comes out few hours later and asks me outright if I want a divorce. That wasn't even on my mind until that point, but that was the moment I knew." 2. When the trust was gone. "It was when I caught myself photographing street signs on my 25-minute journey home from work so that there would be a timestamp of the entire route to disprove constant accusations that I was cheating on her... After that, I just left." 3. When his wife became a glorified roommate. "The last year together we felt more like roommates than lovers. She stopped being interested in spending time with me, we stopped showering together and began sleeping at opposite times. She was generally unhappy all of the time. I really wanted to salvage the marriage, but I knew it was over when she finally told me that she just didn't love me." 4. When the math didn't add up. "Came home from a seven-month deployment overseas to find a five-month pregnant wife. I'm no mathematician but I figured that one out." 5. When he was suffering from depression and she laughed it off. "I was telling her about how depressed and hopeless I was feeling. I described it partially as an existential crisis. She laughed at me. She literally laughed in my face regarding my pain. That was the day I realized I didn't really matter to her." 6. When he realized she didn't believe in his dreams. "Five years ago, I told her I wanted to get out of the military and study to become a doctor. She's a scientist but she acted like it was the most ridiculous thing I could ever try to do. Her exact words were, 'You can't just decide to be a doctor.' Imagine researching and thinking about something for an entire year and then telling your best friend your hopes and dreams and they just look at you like you're silly ... I started med school four weeks ago. I'm not bitter but she's going to be really f*cking surprised if she ever decides to do some Google stalking." 7. When he disagreed with her on how they'd raise their future children. "When my wife stated that any children we had would be home schooled by her (she never graduated high school) and weren't going to get vaccinations. This was non-negotiable. I was young at the time and honestly, it never occurred to me until we had that discussion how much it meant to me. I (naively) figured it was a given." 8. When he became indifferent to the cheating. "The precise moment was a few months ago when her long and frequent infidelities stopped making me furious. The anger switched off and I realized, it's finally over, thank God. I can now plan the end of this toxic marriage." 9. When he decided to put his daughter first. "My second wife and I got along great, but over time the relationship she had with my daughter from a previous marriage got worse and worse. I tried not to blame her; she just wasn't ready to be a mom to someone else's child. It was hard to accept that, though. We tried counseling briefly but she felt counseling was for 'crazy people and she [wasn't] crazy.' Eventually, my daughter and I left. I hoped she would change her mind and decide to work things out with us, but it didn't happen. I had to do what was right for my daughter even if it hurt." 10. When he realized that having hobbies of his own was off-limits. "My ex and I were watching 'Knocked Up.' It came to the scene where the wife is tracking the husband down to catch him while he was 'cheating.' Turns out, he had just snuck off to go to a baseball draft. My ex turned to me and said, 'See how terrible and selfish he is for sneaking around like that?' I looked at her and said, 'See how terrible she is for oppressing his hobbies and dreams so much that he has to resort to sneaking around in order to enjoy them?' I realized right then that she'd done that to me. She had oppressed me, chained me with guilt over my hobbies being immature and childish. She guilt-tripped me because my hobbies took time away from her. Meanwhile, she would never take up any hobbies or interests of her own despite me encouraging her." 11. When he had the commute from hell and she didn't care. "I had to work late one dark winter night, missed my regular train, took a loooong bus and had to walk home a couple of miles from the bus stop in the freezing cold. She couldn't be bothered to come pick me up because she didn't want to leave her yoga class early. It had been 20 years of bad stuff, but that was the night I decided it was over. She realized what she had done later, but it was too late then." http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/09/03/why-men-want-divorce_n_5760568.html?ncid=txtlnkusaolp00000592 |
Re: 11 Reasons Men Leave Their Marriages by ceasare: 11:29am On Sep 04, 2014 |
Jayne don't u hv the why women wants divorce version? 3 Likes |
Re: 11 Reasons Men Leave Their Marriages by Nobody: 11:32am On Sep 04, 2014 |
It's because they want to be married and still live like a bachelor. 4 Likes |
Re: 11 Reasons Men Leave Their Marriages by Jayne2014(f): 11:56am On Sep 04, 2014 |
ceasare: Jayne don't u hv the why women wants divorce version? It is in the pipeline 1 Like |
Re: 11 Reasons Men Leave Their Marriages by bennyrazz: 12:07pm On Sep 04, 2014 |
6. When he realized she didn't believe in his dreams. na after marriage the man realise that the woman did not believe in his dreams? like seriously what were they doing during Courtship? having sex everywhere possible abi? and now he suddenly realise that the woman did not believe in his dreams smh 6 Likes |
Re: 11 Reasons Men Leave Their Marriages by Jayne2014(f): 12:15pm On Sep 04, 2014 |
bennyrazz: 6. When he realized she didn't believe in his dreams. na after marriage the man realise that the woman did not believe in his dreams? like seriously what were they doing during Courtship? having sex everywhere possible abi? and now he suddenly realise that the woman did not believe in his dreams smhResult of marrying for the wrong reasons. 3 Likes |
Re: 11 Reasons Men Leave Their Marriages by Godmystrength: 2:13pm On Sep 04, 2014 |
Okay |
Re: 11 Reasons Men Leave Their Marriages by ehisdan(m): 7:18am On Sep 16, 2014 |
12:- Seeing ur curve and posture can make any man more than want to switch gear. |
Re: 11 Reasons Men Leave Their Marriages by Kanwulia: 7:20am On Sep 16, 2014 |
Strictly for OYINBOS. Not applicable in AFRICA! No marriage in Africa. . . JUST SHACK UP AND BREED. 3 Likes |
Re: 11 Reasons Men Leave Their Marriages by Jayne2014(f): 8:12am On Sep 16, 2014 |
ehisdan: 12:- Seeing ur curve and posture can make any man more than want to switch gear.Too early. Cool down. 1 Like |
Re: 11 Reasons Men Leave Their Marriages by ehisdan(m): 1:18pm On Sep 16, 2014 |
Jayne2014:pls oooo what is too early? Cos its clear like dstv. |
Re: 11 Reasons Men Leave Their Marriages by sucess001(m): 4:11pm On Sep 26, 2014 |
Jayne2014: Jayne if i marry u...i ll forever saty in luv.... |
Re: 11 Reasons Men Leave Their Marriages by Youngpo413: 1:59pm On Dec 14, 2014 |
iwakolewa:lol |
Re: 11 Reasons Men Leave Their Marriages by 100Cents: 11:39pm On Jan 06, 2015 |
All these reasons sound selfish and childish.. Marriage is for mature minds . |
Re: 11 Reasons Men Leave Their Marriages by Richy4(m): 2:20am On Jan 07, 2015 |
I cannot believe number one at all. where in the world does that happen? it sound like people on an early relationship |
Re: 11 Reasons Men Leave Their Marriages by deeptesting(m): 6:40am On Jan 07, 2015 |
100Cents: You can't understand these feelings until you tie the knot.. Fortunately, the west does not believe in our marriage of pretence, societal & cultural expectations of you must remain married even when your heart is no longer with him or her and that is the reason why cheating has become an acceptable norm in Nigeria. 2 Likes |
Re: 11 Reasons Men Leave Their Marriages by 100Cents: 7:56am On Jan 07, 2015 |
deeptesting: The cheating is of unimaginable magnitude. I don't know for men. But newly married women dey cheat die. They still mingle with their former boyfriends. The thing tire me oo.. And how is it true that a recent polls conducted in various countries stated that Nigerian women are the greatest cheats among all nations ? 1 Like |
Re: 11 Reasons Men Leave Their Marriages by sucess001(m): 12:39pm On Jan 07, 2015 |
Re: 11 Reasons Men Leave Their Marriages by 400billionman: 5:59pm On Jul 04, 2015 |
100Cents: I disagree. Don't get pissed by your spouse or fiancee. There is a break off point. Though that's if both parties aren't on thesame page. Forgiveness is always easy when both partners are deeply in love. All options are lost leaving only forgiveness.. 1 Like |
Re: 11 Reasons Men Leave Their Marriages by Nobody: 8:46am On Apr 01, 2016 |
Re: 11 Reasons Men Leave Their Marriages by LoveJesus87(m): 10:01am On Dec 30, 2016 |
Jayne2014:No. Result of having sex all the time and not getting to know each other properly during courtship |
Re: 11 Reasons Men Leave Their Marriages by LoveJesus87(m): 10:02am On Dec 30, 2016 |
Jayne2014:Hi |
Re: 11 Reasons Men Leave Their Marriages by Jayne2014(f): 1:44pm On Dec 30, 2016 |
LoveJesus87:Hello |
Re: 11 Reasons Men Leave Their Marriages by LoveJesus87(m): 2:49pm On Dec 30, 2016 |
Jayne2014:Compliments of the season, beauty. How has been yuletide celebrations? Hope you been having fun. Really nice to meet you. Hope I can get to know you more. A very happy new year in advance to you and your family |
Re: 11 Reasons Men Leave Their Marriages by Nobody: 5:01am On Dec 31, 2016 |
Women are incredibly selfish creatures |
Re: 11 Reasons Men Leave Their Marriages by emmasmith1030: 6:31am On Jan 02, 2017 |
Marriage is for mature minds. |
Re: 11 Reasons Men Leave Their Marriages by davidif: 7:38am On Jun 26, 2017 |
Jayne2014: Wow!!! |
Re: 11 Reasons Men Leave Their Marriages by davidif: 7:40am On Jun 26, 2017 |
100Cents: Really?? So constant cheating is childish right? |
Re: 11 Reasons Men Leave Their Marriages by davidif: 7:41am On Jun 26, 2017 |
Kanwulia: Hahaha, abi o. It seems over here. Our people just marry to have kids. That's why when your friends ask you why you are not married yet they will usually ask you "So you wan born pikin when you don old?" |
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