Boy and girl of class 2 asked teacher:
"can kids of our age have kids?" Teacher replied " NO Never!!" Boy said to girl :
"see i told you not to worry!!!!".

Real Stress?
You stop and pick up a nice hitchhiking girl.
Suddenly she loses consciousness and you
take her to a hospital. This is STRESS! In the
hospital you are being told that she is
pregnant and doctors start congratulating
you with the future newborn.You explain that
just an hour ago you have seen her for the
first time in your life, but she starts telling that
you are the father. This is a BIG STRESS
already. You require for a DNR analysis and
they make it. Then the doctors tell you silently,
that actually, you can't be a father since you
are genetically sterile (genetically cannot
produce children). This is a STRESS, combined
with a relief. On your way back home you
remember, that you have three kids. That's
what the REAL STRESS is. P.S. What do you do
to your wife when you get home?

A man buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool. After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep is getting pregnant, and calls a vet for help.

The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination.The guy doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are pregnant. The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and will lie down and wallow in the grass.The man hangs up and gives it some thought.

He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the sheep. So, he loads the sheep into his truck, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back, and goes to bed.The next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he concludes that the first try didn't take, and loads them in the truck again. He drives them out to the woods, bangs each sheep twice for good measure, brings them back, and goes to bed.

The next morning he wakes to find the sheep still just standing around. One more try, he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up and drive them out to the woods. He spends all day shagging the sheep and upon returning home, falls listlessly into bed.

The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look at the sheep. He asks his wife to look out and tell him if the sheep are lying in the grass.

"No," she says, "they're all in the truck and one of them is honking the horn."

Tallesty1: Typing my own.

Feel free to do so

Cedric505:
Feel free to do so

A woman had a parrot that she took with her everywhere she went. She would even take the parrot to the club with her when she went dancing and drinking on Saturday nights.

Whenever the woman went onto the dance floor, the parrot would yell, "The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire, we don't need no water-let the muthafukkah burn! Burn, muthafukkah, burn!"

The crowd on the dance floor would always cheer and holler in appreciation when the parrot would yell. This would make the parrot yell even more and of course make the crowd go wild.
This would go on all night long, every time the parrot went out.

One Sunday morning the woman took the parrot to church and into the choir section with her, and when the choir started to sing, the parrot yelled, ''The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire, we don't need no water-let the muthafukkah burn! Burn, muthafukkah, burn!''
She was horrified and corrected the parrot, "No, you don't say that here!"

The parrot looked around and asked, "Why not? These are the same muthafukkahs that was at the club last night!"